Trump Bans Americans From Eating Noodles
Trump Bans Americans From Eating Noodles
"No more chicken noodle soup" says the POTUS. "It will spread the "Chinaman" virus, just like the Chinese airplanes will. If you EAT like a "Chinaman" you're going to think like a "Chinaman" and start stealing all our secrets, and maybe even your eyes will start to go slanty, so NO MORE NOODLES."
Trump's latest ban follows his ban on Huawei, Chinese students studying at American universities, and now Chinese airlines from landing in the USA. Nothing seems to help. Next thing he intends to do will be to reinstate the 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act. *
An astonished aide recently overheard Trump and leaked that Trump said "I can't understand it, every time I try to blame China and do more to damage it, and point fingers elsewhere, and criticize the WHO and stop funding it, I seem to lose more voters. Don't they understand that I'd doing everything I possibly can to get myself reelected to another four years of self-aggrandizement?"
* CHINESE EXCLUSION ACT (1882)
The Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 was the first significant law restricting immigration into the United States. Many Americans on the West Coast attributed declining wages and economic ills to Chinese workers. Although the Chinese composed only .002 percent of the nation's population, Congress passed the exclusion act to placate worker demands and assuage prevalent concerns about maintaining white "racial purity."
https://www.history.com/topics/immigration/chinese-exclusion-act-1882
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In case you've missed the fact that this article is posted under "The Lighter Side / Humor", it is meant to be satirical, but is based on what Trump has already actually accomplished.
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Does this mean no more blow jobs for his limp noodle?
LOL
This is great, finally a President that bans those damn Chinese noodles. This should have been done decades ago.
Trumps new motto, ''Ban the damn noodle''...I like it better than MAGA.
Oh no, there are Italian noodles called spaghetti. We're going to have to rethink that noodle ban. Got it, the Italian noodle isn't actually a noodle, it just very long pasta. Problem solved, COVFEFE.
But wait, what about Japanese noodles, or Korean noodles or gasp, Taiwanese noodles.
Back to the drawing board.
Meanwhile in the Kavika household.
Ramen noodles ala TeePee.
I'll rely on the fact that preserved noodles were found in a Chinese archeological site that were 4000 years old.
But that won't stop Americans from complaining that the Chinese stole the idea from the American Lipton company.
Are you trying to say tea is not American?
Blasphemy ! The house wine of the south....
Lipton or the US would never do that, Buzz.
But the Chinese did steal the idea of tea from Lipton.
The house wine of the south....
-ced...with lots of sugar!
But not Red Rose tea, Only in Canada? Pity.
I'll bet those would be good in some garlic shrimp sauce
I prefer Luzianne, brewed very strong and no sugar or sweetener of any kind
Ok...about this story of the Chinese stealing noodles from the American Lipton Tea Company. America wasn't really becoming any kind of trade entity especially with China until about the late 1800's, am I right? The Chinese introduced noodles to Marco Polo like way back in the 1400's, am I right?
My math is fuzzy or my history is all wrong. Or somebody is pulling my leg
You're right that the story I heard originally is that Marco Polo did take the idea back to Italy but I've since seen articles that indicate that spaghetti was invented independently in Italy, but long after noodles were being eaten in China.
That's a possibility but I'm thinking here....all over Europe people ate bread. Asians to my experience don't eat bread, their starch is noodles.
So Polo wants bread when he goes to China, can't get it, eats noodles, says, "Damn these are tasty!" and brings them back to Italy. Not very many other countries in Europe make noodles except for Italians, Germans, and some Eastern European countries.
That's just a theory base on what little I know and observations
Marco Polo died around 600 years ago, and the Chinese have been making bread for about 1600 years. My wife sometimes makes steamed buns the same way they've been made for centuries.
Ever since I came here, the supermarkets have been selling sliced bread no different than I bought in Canada.
You can learn about Chinese breads here:
I stand corrected
Ahhhh - the memories. Girlfriend #2 thought that dinner consisted ONLY of Ramen soup OR heavily buttered popcorn.
Thank goodness we only dated for two months 'cause I was beginning to do crossword puzzles in foreign tongues (non-erasable ink, of course), and wanting to learn how to play the Pipa.
Is this akin to freedom fries...
Think of all the buffets !
The French will never forgive you for that, especially since they rescued the USA from the Brits and Canadians in 1812.
when the restaurant ban is done, the Chinese buffet is near the top of the list. Steak dinner is first. Carryout ribs and BBQ has keep me going and the seafood truck was back.
I was reading an article about changes to restaurants that may become permanent after the virus passes. Someone thought that salad bars would have to go
(Because supposedly it could spread the virus).
I sure hope not, I like making my own salad and making it big
Yeah, you have to be really careful with toxic lettuce.
Like it didn't spread flu virus, cold virus, or virulent E coli strains before.....
I could go on just eating ribs.
Hmmm maybe I can become a noodle runner from Canada, anyone wanna volunteer to be a noodle dealer? Could be big bucks
Just like Prohibition - you could disguise it as spaghetti.
My grandfather used to run moonshine in a 1932 Ford with a 200 gallon tank.
Ok, I'll be the noodle dealer in the US, Freefaller. Carrying on a family tradition.
Ooo...we could make a connection here. Freefaller gets it to the border..we need a runner to pick them up there and bring them here to Arkansas...then I'll get them to you in FLA
That reminded me of an old joke...
A string walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, we don't serve strings here! Get out!".
So the string went back outside, ruffled his head threads and looped his leg around his waist and pulled it tight.
The string then walked back in the bar and the bartender looked at him carefully and said "Hey, aren't you that string I just threw out of here?"
To which the string replied "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."...
This is coming together nicely Kavika is the SE distributor, Trout Giggles is the SC distributor, I'm sure my brother would take the NE. Just need a couple more for the SW and NW
Pat raising her hand.
My daughter who is a chef is going to make her own pasta. Don't tell the feds !
Mr Giggles wants to try it making his own noodles. I'll be his guinea pig