Some More Covid Humour

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

By:  buzz-of-the-orient  •  one month ago  •  23 comments

By:   Buzz of the Orient

Some More Covid Humour

Some More Covid Humour

No original source to identify - these were sent in an email by my brother



- I’m having a quarantine party this weekend! None of you is invited. 

  - We are just two to three weeks away from learning everyone’s real hair color. 

   - All these people are worrying about a baby boom in the next nine months. Two days of homeschooling should nip that right in the bud! 

  - All I can think about now when I’m watching any TV show or movie is how everyone is standing WAY too close together. 

  - I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe! 

  - The Department of Health is looking to hire couples married seven years or more to educate people on social distancing. 

  - Quarantine Day 16. I’ve started taking calls from telemarketers. Some of them are actually quite nice. Jamar from Superior Life Insurance has a new baby. 

  - Grocery shopping has become a real life version of Pac-Man. Avoid everyone, get the fruit, and take any route possible to avoid contact. 

  - So we don’t go to restaurants, kids aren’t signed up for anything, and we just stayed home for Spring Break? Sounds like my childhood. 

  - This is like being 16 again. Gas is cheap and I’m grounded. Geez. 

 - My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine. It’s called, “Why Are You Doing It That Way?” There are no winners. 

 - When we come out of this and I ask you where you want to eat, I do NOT want to hear, “I don’t know.” ...YOU HAD 45 DAYS! 

 - Can’t wait until this is over so I can go back to social distancing on my own terms. 

 - My car probably thinks I died. 

 If your parents are over 60 and want to go out ... FORBID THEM! If they complain and say, “But everyone else is doing it”, tell them, “You’re not everyone.” IT’S PAYBACK TIME!  

- Hormel Foods made their first batch of SPAM in 1937. With everyone out shopping and hoarding food, they have announced they will be making their second batch later this week. 

 - If you believe that the Yankees will be playing in two weeks, raise your right hand. Now slap yourself with it. 

 - Due to my isolation, I finished three books yesterday. And believe me, that’s a lot of coloring! - Anyone else getting a tan from the light in your frig? 




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Buzz of the Orient
1  author  Buzz of the Orient    one month ago

Contrary to some people's belief, laughter is better medicine than lysol.

 
 
 
Kavika
2  Kavika     one month ago

LOL, some good ones in that batch.

 
 
 
It Is ME
3  It Is ME    one month ago

Covid-19

512

 
 
 
Suz
4  Suz    one month ago

My top two favorites:

#1  I’m having a quarantine party this weekend! None of you is invited. 

#2  Quarantine Day 16. I’ve started taking calls from telemarketers. Some of them are actually quite nice. Jamar from Superior Life Insurance has a new baby. 

The grocery store should include learning the art of serpentine or serpentining.    

Thank you for the laugh, Buzz, and thank your brother for me.

 

 
 
 
XDm9mm
4.1  XDm9mm  replied to  Suz @4    one month ago
Thank you for the laugh

Speaking of....

I do apologize for making you 'snort' the other day!!   Honestly, that was only one of many he told, but that was the one I remembered best.

 
 
 
Suz
4.1.1  Suz  replied to  XDm9mm @4.1    one month ago

Just be happy you weren't here with me.  My English Bulldog, Walter, always jumps up from a deep sleep and begins barking.  We're an odd couple for sure! 

Thank you for the laugh.  I haven't laughed in a very long time and it felt marvelous. 

 
 
 
JaneDoe
5  JaneDoe    one month ago

256

 
 
 
Kathleen
5.1  Kathleen  replied to  JaneDoe @5    one month ago

That's a good one!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
6  author  Buzz of the Orient    one month ago

Some new ones...

Everything for summer is cancelled.  May as well just put up the Christmas tree and call it a year !

Pretty wild how we used to eat cake after someone had blown on it....good times....

I can't believe it's riot season already.  I still have my COVID decorations up.

Single man with Purell and Lysol seeking singel woman with toilet paper for good clean fun.

Romance novels written during Covid-19 will be like.... "And then she slowly slipped her mask down, revealing her warm red lips, and her blushed face, as their eyes met, he gently removed her gloves."

 
 
 
MUVA
6.1  MUVA  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @6    one month ago

Buzz my wife has always put the candle on top of a cup cake so you didn't actually get spit on the cake.  

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
6.1.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  MUVA @6.1    one month ago

Good thinking.

 
 
 
MUVA
6.1.2  MUVA  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @6.1.1    one month ago

I think her mom started it she almost had the cleanest house you have never seen and didn't have a maid and a 7000 sq ft home.

 
 
 
Suz
6.2  Suz  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @6    one month ago

I can't believe it's riot season already.  I still have my COVID decorations up.

Love it!

 
 
 
Karri
7  Karri    one month ago

- We are just two to three weeks away from learning everyone’s real hair color. 

Hairdressers are essential workers -- at least in my opinion.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
7.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Karri @7    one month ago

I've not been to a barber for more than 6 months, and for the second time in my life I could actually tie a ponytail.  Here is a photo fo the first time...my mother loved my long blond locks. 

800

 
 
 
MUVA
7.1.1  MUVA  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @7.1    one month ago

You look like a young grommet or little surfer dude you cutie pie.256 my grandson.

 
 
 
TTGA
7.1.2  TTGA  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @7.1    one month ago
for the second time in my life I could actually tie a ponytail. 

I'm getting pretty close to that level too, at least in the back.  On top, not so much.  Hoping the barber opens up Monday.  I could let my son cut it.  He does both of the boys' hair.  He gets it neat and clean but I haven't had hair that short since I went to Boot Camp.  Besides, the barber is much nicer than he is.

 
 
 
MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)
7.2  MsAubrey (aka Ahyoka)  replied to  Karri @7    one month ago

I stopped coloring my hair years ago. I get more compliments on my silver streaks than I ever did on any color from a box. My husband is loving that I haven't been able to get my hair cut. I just want my ends trimmed, but it is the longest I've had it in years. If it were a straight cut, I'd let someone at home do it, but my hair is layered and wavy... I don't trust that anyone in my home could handle it. Heck, I only get my hair cut or trimmed a couple times a year anyways. I'm not very girly.

 
 
 
Kavika
8  Kavika     one month ago

I've worn my hair long for years, usually to the middle of my shoulder blades. Because of this COVID19 I haven't had it trimmed in months. A couple of weeks ago my wife cut my hair and now by ponytail is back to the middle of my shoulder blades. She cut off 6 inches of hair...

She did a really good job, I may hire her full time.

 
 
 
TTGA
8.1  TTGA  replied to  Kavika @8    one month ago
She did a really good job, I may hire her full time.

Reminds me of one I heard a few years back. 

A doctor was out in front of his house mowing the lawn.  A snooty looking lady drove up and asked him, "How much do you charge for mowing that lawn?  I may wish to hire you."  His reply, "Well, usually the lady of the house lets me sleep with her."  She didn't ask any more questions; just drove off quickly.

 
 
 
Kavika
8.1.1  Kavika   replied to  TTGA @8.1    one month ago

LOL, good one.

 
 
 
Ed-NavDoc
8.1.2  Ed-NavDoc  replied to  TTGA @8.1    one month ago

I love it! jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Al-316
9  Al-316    one month ago

Thanks, Buzz, you put me in a great mood with your humor. Especially the one about Spam.

 
 
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