Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  vic-eldred  •  5 months ago  •  48 comments

By:   The Babylon Bee

Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
NEW YORK, NY - According to sources, beloved North Korean tyrant and lover of doughnuts Kim Jong Un is now attending Columbia University, a prestigious Ivy League school, to learn new brainwashing techniques for his regime.'I thought I knew all there was to know about communist indoctrination, but I was wrong,' said the ruthless dictator to repor ...

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



NEW YORK, NY—According to sources, beloved North Korean tyrant and lover of doughnuts Kim Jong Un is now attending Columbia University, a prestigious Ivy League school, to learn new brainwashing techniques for his regime.

"I thought I knew all there was to know about communist indoctrination, but I was wrong," said the ruthless dictator to reporters after sitting through a 2-hour lecture on why fidget spinners are a remnant of Western patriarchal oppression. "Your American college professors have this down to an art!"

Kim Jong Un then waddled over to the food court for all-you-can-eat frozen yogurt, whistling a merry tune as he went.

According to experts, Ivy League schools in America boast the world's finest anti-Western propaganda and brainwashing techniques. The North Korean dictator expressed hope that his newfound knowledge would help him make his citizens more robotically obedient.

"We still have our troublemakers, but with these Ivy League techniques, I'll have them eating out of my hand in no time!" he said.

The murderous leader of North Korea plans to go back to his home country and start his own Ivy League school: Kim Jong UNiversity.


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Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1  seeder  Vic Eldred    5 months ago

There is nothing like learning from the best!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
1.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1    5 months ago
"...a 2-hour lecture on why fidget spinners are a remnant of Western patriarchal oppression.."

Hang on a second, "Fidget" was the name of my beloved late cat.  Either withdraw that statement or I'll do what all Americans have been doing for such trivial matters, I'll sue for 100 million dollars.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2  JBB    5 months ago

Anti-intellectualism is a hallmark of Totalitarianism!

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Expert
2.1  Nowhere Man  replied to  JBB @2    5 months ago
Anti-intellectualism is a hallmark of Totalitarianism!

Correct! and since Kim Jong Un is a master totalitarianist, he's going to the one place he can get his anti-intellectualism clean, without the base evil of common sense...

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.1.1  JBB  replied to  Nowhere Man @2.1    5 months ago

Why try to discredit our greatest institutions of learning and our best intellectuals?

The article is satire and satire isn't the truth.

Kim desires America embraces the Idiocracy...

Like morons making fun of Harvard and Yale!

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Expert
2.1.2  Nowhere Man  replied to  JBB @2.1.1    5 months ago

That's the best you can come up with? Of course the article is satire and in that spirit I responded to what YOU were positing as a truth... I wasn't ridiculing Harvard or Yale, I ridiculed what YOU posited as truth....

Calling me a moron for it is actually recognition of my ridicules validity...

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
2.1.3  Sparty On  replied to  Nowhere Man @2.1.2    5 months ago

Education can be overrated when it comes to the real world.

An Ivy League education can fit this definition to a T and often does from what i've seen.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
PhD Participates
2.1.4  Jasper2529  replied to  JBB @2.1.1    5 months ago
and satire isn't the truth

The truth very often lies within satire: Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Chaucer, Mark Twain, Moliere, Charles Dickens, W.S. Gilbert, O. Henry, and George Orwell are among the most famous satirists. 

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.1.5  JBB  replied to  Jasper2529 @2.1.4    5 months ago

The truth is this article is anti-intellectualism on a stick and is intended to discredit American institutions of higher learning and American experts within sciences and education. That is definitely something Kim would desire. The question is, why are you onboard with all that?

 
 
 
Jack_TX
Senior Quiet
2.1.6  Jack_TX  replied to  JBB @2.1.5    5 months ago

The difficulty with satire is the reader must be intelligent enough to understand it.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2.1.7  Texan1211  replied to  Jack_TX @2.1.6    5 months ago
The difficulty with satire is the reader must be intelligent enough to understand it.

That is undoubtedly true.

Perhaps why the same people always claim satire isn't really satire.

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
2.1.8  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  JBB @2.1.5    5 months ago
The truth is this article is anti-intellectualism on a stick

Of course it is. There's nothing right wing conservative Christians hate more than intellectuals and higher education, it makes them feel inferior and the facts learned at these universities and colleges often conflicts with their bible based education which dismisses evolution, radiocarbon dating, climate science, biology, physiology and psychology. That's why they act like little children and make fun of and ridicule higher education. It's why they are so enamored with the brainless dishonest Donald.

"We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated" - Donald Trump

The equivalent opposing headline would read:

"Vladimir Putin Attends Christian University To Learn New Fascist Techniques"

Hah hah, let's all have such a good laugh at such harmless non-offensive satire, ha ha ha...

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2.1.9  Texan1211  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @2.1.8    5 months ago
There's nothing right wing conservative Christians hate more than intellectuals and higher education, it makes them feel inferior and the facts learned at these universities and colleges often conflicts with their bible based education which dismisses evolution, radiocarbon dating, climate science, biology, physiology and psychology.

Whole pile of untruths in that post.

"We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated" - Donald Trump

Does the left not love people who are poorly educated?

Why is so much of the Democratic base poorly educated, and why do the Democrats shit on them?

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
Masters Quiet
2.1.10  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Texan1211 @2.1.9    5 months ago

there was a line at the Republican 'whites' only restroom....?

 
 
 
Jack_TX
Senior Quiet
2.1.11  Jack_TX  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @2.1.8    5 months ago
Of course it is.

Or....in the real world....it's a harmless joke and the reaction of joyless angry liberals just makes it a bit funnier.

There's nothing right wing conservative Christians hate more than 

You've never actually met one, have you?

The equivalent opposing headline would read:

"Vladimir Putin Attends Christian University To Learn New Fascist Techniques"

Hah hah, let's all have such a good laugh at such harmless non-offensive satire, ha ha ha...

It would be harmless.  And non-offensive.  Because most smart people can take a joke.

It's not quite funny....because places like Notre Dame, SMU, Vanderbilt or Pepperdine don't really have the reputation as hotbeds of fascism the way Harvard and Columbia do for liberalism.  But do keep trying.  I'm sure you'll get there.

 

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
2.1.12  bugsy  replied to  Jack_TX @2.1.11    5 months ago
I'm sure you'll get there.

I don't

 
 
 
Jasper2529
PhD Participates
2.1.13  Jasper2529  replied to  JBB @2.1.5    5 months ago
The truth is this article is anti-intellectualism on a stick and is intended to discredit American institutions of higher learning and American experts within sciences and education. 

No, JBB. This article satirically mocks Ivy League schools like Columbia, because they are now high priced institutions designed to brainwash American youth with anti-American propaganda. Harvard and Yale are other examples.

That is definitely something Kim would desire.

And, therein lies the truth about the propaganda disseminated within these Ivy League "institutions of higher learning".

The question is, why are you onboard with all that?

The real question is why you would ever accuse me of being a Communist like Kim Jung Un.  jrSmiley_78_smiley_image.gif

Happy New Year, JBB.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.1.14  JBB  replied to  Jasper2529 @2.1.13    5 months ago

Authoritarian is not necessarily communist...

The rest you said was rightwing propaganda.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
PhD Participates
2.1.15  Jasper2529  replied to  Jack_TX @2.1.6    5 months ago
The difficulty with satire is the reader must be intelligent enough to understand it.

It's not only a reader who falls short. I've encountered some folks on social media who fancy themselves as being satirical writers. Unfortunately, their satirical writings lack humor, sarcasm, irony, and/or wittiness.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
PhD Participates
2.1.16  Jasper2529  replied to  JBB @2.1.14    5 months ago
Authoritarian is not necessarily communist...

The seeded article's topic is Kim Jung Un. Although he's an authoritarian, he is also a Communist. AND ... you accused me of being a Communist in your comment 2.1.5

The rest you said was rightwing propaganda.

Prove it with factual, unbiased links. 

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
2.1.17  bugsy  replied to  Jasper2529 @2.1.16    5 months ago
Prove it with factual, unbiased links. 

Well, this is where the crickets are cued....

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
2.1.18  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Jack_TX @2.1.11    5 months ago
most smart people can take a joke

"Hey four eyes, you're a dick... hehe..."

"Please be quiet I'm trying to study."

"Hey liberal progressive, you're a poo poo... hehe..."

"Please be quiet I'm trying to study."

"Hey Godless atheist, you're a pussy... hehe..."

"Please be quiet I'm trying to study."

"Hey bi-coastal secular elite, you're an asshole... hehe..."

"Would you please cut it out you monumental ignoramus!"

"No yer indigo Remus, most smart people can take a joke..."

I'm sure to the bully on the playground, beating the snot out of someone weaker than them is funny as hell. I'm sure that to Jeffery Dahmer and other demented mass murderers the old "Faces of Death" videos are funny as hell. And the BabylonBee is absolutely hilarious to white supremacists, Nazi's, white nationalists and other white conservative Christians, they are playing to their audience for sure.

And the fact is, most smart people wouldn't see any correlation between Columbia University and communist indoctrination because its beyond ridiculous. They would know that's only something an unhinged half witted right wing conservative fascist would believe, thus completely neutralizing any actual comical reaction for anyone with more than half a brain.

Comedy works when there is a sliver of truth that gets exaggerated thus making it funny. There is certainly nothing communist about the tuition, costs, management or financial classes at Columbia University. Christian Schools/Universities are far more fascist in their operation than Colombia University is communist in its.

Christofascism:  seen as the political direction of all attempts to place Christ at the center of social life and history and that '[m]uch of the churches' teaching about Christ has turned into something that is dictatorial in its heart and is preparing society for an American fascism. It allows and empowers Christians to impose themselves, not only upon other religions, but other cultures and political parties which do not march under the banner of some final, normative, victorious Christ".

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
PhD Guide
3  Jeremy Retired in NC    5 months ago

They'll be raking in the Federal Money soon.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
3.1  JBB  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @3    5 months ago

Like Texas Tech and A & M for agriculture research! 

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
4  Sparty On    5 months ago

Lol .... hilarious!

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Quiet
5  charger 383    5 months ago

That picture is funny

 
 
 
squiggy
Sophomore Quiet
5.1  squiggy  replied to  charger 383 @5    5 months ago

Yea, ya gotta love the notebook.

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6  Gsquared    5 months ago

Donald Trump salutes his North Korean commanding officer.

800

 
 
 
squiggy
Sophomore Quiet
6.1  squiggy  replied to  Gsquared @6    5 months ago

Trump, Trump, Trump….

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.1  Gsquared  replied to  squiggy @6.1    5 months ago

Your dotard hero.

 
 
 
squiggy
Sophomore Quiet
6.1.2  squiggy  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.1    5 months ago

He's living the life rent-free on your shoulders.

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.3  Gsquared  replied to  squiggy @6.1.2    5 months ago

You and the other cultists are paying him!

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
PhD Guide
6.1.4  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.1    5 months ago

You know it's funny that the left always makes that claim.  But yet it's the left that seems to seed everything about Trump here on NT.  Whose hero is he actually?

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.5  Sparty On  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @6.1.4    5 months ago

The word you are looking for is unhinged.

The TDS ridden are psychologically unhinged ..... completely unhinged.

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.6  Gsquared  replied to  Sparty On @6.1.5    5 months ago

It's amusing, but pathetic, how Trump's sycophantic cultists always rush to the defense of their deviant God-figure, and how easily triggered they are by any mention of him.  Clearly indicative of their severe psychological dysfunction.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.7  Sparty On  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.6    5 months ago

Thx for more empirical evidence, proving the hypothesis presented in 6.1.5

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.8  Gsquared  replied to  Sparty On @6.1.7    5 months ago

You're continuing to prove my point (as set forth in Comment 6.1.6). Conclusively.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
6.1.9  Texan1211  replied to  squiggy @6.1.2    5 months ago
He's living the life rent-free on your shoulders.

Heck, by now he's built Trump a penthouse suite to live in rent free!

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
6.1.10  Texan1211  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.6    5 months ago
It's amusing, but pathetic, how Trump's sycophantic cultists always rush to the defense of their deviant God-figure, and how easily triggered they are by any mention of him.

As amusing and pathetic as TDS sufferers bringing up Trump in threads and articles having nothing whatsoever to do with Trump!

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.11  Sparty On  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.8    5 months ago

Ah yes, you employ the old Peewee Herman "i know you are but what am i" debate gambit ...... classic!

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.12  Gsquared  replied to  Sparty On @6.1.11    5 months ago

Conments 6.1.9 - 6.1.11

The sound of cultists chanting.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
6.1.13  Texan1211  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.12    5 months ago

Comment 6, 6.1.1, 6.1.3 are all indicative of a TDS sufferer.

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.14  Gsquared  replied to  Texan1211 @6.1.13    5 months ago

You are, as usual, incorrect.  TDS, of course, stands for Trump Delusional Sycophant.  That is on full display in your comments and the other comments supposedly responding to mine.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.15  Sparty On  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.12    5 months ago

Yawn .....

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.16  Gsquared  replied to  Sparty On @6.1.15    5 months ago

You should excuse yourself and go back to sleep.   We won't miss you.

 
 
 
squiggy
Sophomore Quiet
6.1.17  squiggy  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.16    5 months ago

Are you STILL pissing into the wind? I have to invoke some new word that ends my argument - "Bullshit".

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
6.1.18  Gsquared  replied to  squiggy @6.1.17    5 months ago

The Bullshit coming from you and the other cultists is obvious to the rest of us, the normal people.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.19  Sparty On  replied to  Gsquared @6.1.16    5 months ago

Aw, you see .... now you went and hurt my last feeling ......

 
 

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