Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
NEW YORK, NY—According to sources, beloved North Korean tyrant and lover of doughnuts Kim Jong Un is now attending Columbia University, a prestigious Ivy League school, to learn new brainwashing techniques for his regime.
"I thought I knew all there was to know about communist indoctrination, but I was wrong," said the ruthless dictator to reporters after sitting through a 2-hour lecture on why fidget spinners are a remnant of Western patriarchal oppression. "Your American college professors have this down to an art!"
Kim Jong Un then waddled over to the food court for all-you-can-eat frozen yogurt, whistling a merry tune as he went.
According to experts, Ivy League schools in America boast the world's finest anti-Western propaganda and brainwashing techniques. The North Korean dictator expressed hope that his newfound knowledge would help him make his citizens more robotically obedient.
"We still have our troublemakers, but with these Ivy League techniques, I'll have them eating out of my hand in no time!" he said.
The murderous leader of North Korea plans to go back to his home country and start his own Ivy League school: Kim Jong UNiversity.
There is nothing like learning from the best!
Hang on a second, "Fidget" was the name of my beloved late cat. Either withdraw that statement or I'll do what all Americans have been doing for such trivial matters, I'll sue for 100 million dollars.
Anti-intellectualism is a hallmark of Totalitarianism!
Correct! and since Kim Jong Un is a master totalitarianist, he's going to the one place he can get his anti-intellectualism clean, without the base evil of common sense...
Why try to discredit our greatest institutions of learning and our best intellectuals?
The article is satire and satire isn't the truth.
Kim desires America embraces the Idiocracy...
Like morons making fun of Harvard and Yale!
That's the best you can come up with? Of course the article is satire and in that spirit I responded to what YOU were positing as a truth... I wasn't ridiculing Harvard or Yale, I ridiculed what YOU posited as truth....
Calling me a moron for it is actually recognition of my ridicules validity...
Education can be overrated when it comes to the real world.
An Ivy League education can fit this definition to a T and often does from what i've seen.
The truth very often lies within satire: Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Chaucer, Mark Twain, Moliere, Charles Dickens, W.S. Gilbert, O. Henry, and George Orwell are among the most famous satirists.
The truth is this article is anti-intellectualism on a stick and is intended to discredit American institutions of higher learning and American experts within sciences and education. That is definitely something Kim would desire. The question is, why are you onboard with all that?
The difficulty with satire is the reader must be intelligent enough to understand it.
Of course it is. There's nothing right wing conservative Christians hate more than intellectuals and higher education, it makes them feel inferior and the facts learned at these universities and colleges often conflicts with their bible based education which dismisses evolution, radiocarbon dating, climate science, biology, physiology and psychology. That's why they act like little children and make fun of and ridicule higher education. It's why they are so enamored with the brainless dishonest Donald.
"We won with poorly educated. I love the poorly educated" - Donald Trump
The equivalent opposing headline would read:
"Vladimir Putin Attends Christian University To Learn New Fascist Techniques"
Hah hah, let's all have such a good laugh at such harmless non-offensive satire, ha ha ha...
there was a line at the Republican 'whites' only restroom....?
Or....in the real world....it's a harmless joke and the reaction of joyless angry liberals just makes it a bit funnier.
You've never actually met one, have you?
It would be harmless. And non-offensive. Because most smart people can take a joke.
It's not quite funny....because places like Notre Dame, SMU, Vanderbilt or Pepperdine don't really have the reputation as hotbeds of fascism the way Harvard and Columbia do for liberalism. But do keep trying. I'm sure you'll get there.
I don't
No, JBB. This article satirically mocks Ivy League schools like Columbia, because they are now high priced institutions designed to brainwash American youth with anti-American propaganda. Harvard and Yale are other examples.
And, therein lies the truth about the propaganda disseminated within these Ivy League "institutions of higher learning".
The real question is why you would ever accuse me of being a Communist like Kim Jung Un.
Happy New Year, JBB.
Authoritarian is not necessarily communist...
The rest you said was rightwing propaganda.
It's not only a reader who falls short. I've encountered some folks on social media who fancy themselves as being satirical writers. Unfortunately, their satirical writings lack humor, sarcasm, irony, and/or wittiness.
The seeded article's topic is Kim Jung Un. Although he's an authoritarian, he is also a Communist. AND ... you accused me of being a Communist in your comment 2.1.5 .
Prove it with factual, unbiased links.
Well, this is where the crickets are cued....
"Hey four eyes, you're a dick... hehe..."
"Please be quiet I'm trying to study."
"Hey liberal progressive, you're a poo poo... hehe..."
"Please be quiet I'm trying to study."
"Hey Godless atheist, you're a pussy... hehe..."
"Please be quiet I'm trying to study."
"Hey bi-coastal secular elite, you're an asshole... hehe..."
"Would you please cut it out you monumental ignoramus!"
"No yer indigo Remus, most smart people can take a joke..."
I'm sure to the bully on the playground, beating the snot out of someone weaker than them is funny as hell. I'm sure that to Jeffery Dahmer and other demented mass murderers the old "Faces of Death" videos are funny as hell. And the BabylonBee is absolutely hilarious to white supremacists, Nazi's, white nationalists and other white conservative Christians, they are playing to their audience for sure.
And the fact is, most smart people wouldn't see any correlation between Columbia University and communist indoctrination because its beyond ridiculous. They would know that's only something an unhinged half witted right wing conservative fascist would believe, thus completely neutralizing any actual comical reaction for anyone with more than half a brain.
Comedy works when there is a sliver of truth that gets exaggerated thus making it funny. There is certainly nothing communist about the tuition, costs, management or financial classes at Columbia University. Christian Schools/Universities are far more fascist in their operation than Colombia University is communist in its.
Christofascism: seen as the political direction of all attempts to place Christ at the center of social life and history and that '[m]uch of the churches' teaching about Christ has turned into something that is dictatorial in its heart and is preparing society for an American fascism. It allows and empowers Christians to impose themselves, not only upon other religions, but other cultures and political parties which do not march under the banner of some final, normative, victorious Christ".
They'll be raking in the Federal Money soon.
Like Texas Tech and A & M for agriculture research!
Lol .... hilarious!
That picture is funny
Yea, ya gotta love the notebook.
Donald Trump salutes his North Korean commanding officer.
Trump, Trump, Trump….
Your dotard hero.
He's living the life rent-free on your shoulders.
You and the other cultists are paying him!
You know it's funny that the left always makes that claim. But yet it's the left that seems to seed everything about Trump here on NT. Whose hero is he actually?
The word you are looking for is unhinged.
The TDS ridden are psychologically unhinged ..... completely unhinged.
It's amusing, but pathetic, how Trump's sycophantic cultists always rush to the defense of their deviant God-figure, and how easily triggered they are by any mention of him. Clearly indicative of their severe psychological dysfunction.
Thx for more empirical evidence, proving the hypothesis presented in 6.1.5
You're continuing to prove my point (as set forth in Comment 6.1.6). Conclusively.
Ah yes, you employ the old Peewee Herman "i know you are but what am i" debate gambit ...... classic!
Conments 6.1.9 - 6.1.11
The sound of cultists chanting.
You are, as usual, incorrect. TDS, of course, stands for Trump Delusional Sycophant. That is on full display in your comments and the other comments supposedly responding to mine.
Yawn .....
You should excuse yourself and go back to sleep. We won't miss you.
Are you STILL pissing into the wind? I have to invoke some new word that ends my argument - "Bullshit".
The Bullshit coming from you and the other cultists is obvious to the rest of us, the normal people.
Aw, you see .... now you went and hurt my last feeling ......