Sex Euphemisms

By:  Trout Giggles  •  2 months ago  •  192 comments

Sex Euphemisms
I hope this isn't against the TOS

To comment, please join the group SiNNERs and ButtHeads

SiNNERs and ButtHeads

Many, many, many eons ago when I was just a wee sprite in an institution of higher learning, I had a roommate who was taking some psychology class (I think it was a sex class jrSmiley_82_smiley_image.gif). Anyway, she had an assignment to find as many euphemisms for sex as she could find. There were right around 8 of us virginal beauties living in that house, and she managed to go back to class with a list of over 100.

If we had had another day or two I think we could have reached twice that.

So.....no dirty pitchers, please, just words. And if this is not your cup of tea the door is over there -------------------------->

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Trout Giggles
1  author  Trout Giggles    2 months ago

That photo up there is the Oak Grove on the IUP campus. That building straight ahead is the theater building. I think we can create some great theater with this topic

 
 
Skrekk
1.1  Skrekk  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    2 months ago

"I'm a virgin so I really don't know any special words for sex."

 
 
Trout Giggles
1.1.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  Skrekk @1.1    2 months ago

Ok, Virginia

 
 
cobaltblue
1.1.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Skrekk @1.1    2 months ago
I'm a virgin

I could fix that for you. Won't take too long ... three, four hours. I don't like to drive fast ... I prefer the scenic route. We'll call in for a pizza. 

 
 
TᵢG
1.1.3  TᵢG  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.1    2 months ago

Might be more appropriate to say 'okay, Brett'.   ( I suspect that is Skrekk's context. )   jrSmiley_82_smiley_image.gif

 
 
Trout Giggles
1.1.4  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  TᵢG @1.1.3    2 months ago

Ah, I get it now

 
 
Skrekk
1.1.5  Skrekk  replied to  TᵢG @1.1.3    2 months ago
Might be more appropriate to say 'okay, Brett'.   ( I suspect that is Skrekk's context. )

Bingo.

 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
1.1.6  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  cobaltblue @1.1.2    2 months ago
I don't like to drive fast ... I prefer the scenic route.

vids or it's not true.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
1.1.7  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @1.1.6    2 months ago

3 or 4 hours? Get that woman an electric canoe paddler, it shouldn't take that long to temporarily find god.

 
 
cobaltblue
1.1.8  cobaltblue  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @1.1.7    2 months ago
it shouldn't take that long to temporarily find god.

It's fun to take the scenic route on occasion, fishboy. A good giggle and tickle is why I'm so fickle. Gettin' down to bidnez takes little time, to be sure, but sometimes you just want to enjoy someone's company and a good exploration takes time. 

 
 
cobaltblue
1.1.9  cobaltblue  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @1.1.6    2 months ago
vids or it's not true.

I heard badfish's vids can be checked out at your nearest Redbox. 

 
 
Trout Giggles
1.1.10  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @1.1.9    2 months ago

Are they the ones in the brown paper wrapper?

 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
1.1.11  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.10    2 months ago
Are they the ones in the brown paper wrapper?

And double wrapped.

 
 
Skrekk
1.1.12  Skrekk  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.10    2 months ago
Are they the ones in the brown paper wrapper?

No, they're the ones wrapped in the week-old newspaper which was previously used to wrap the bad fish.

No wonder everyone says they smell like fish.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
1.1.13  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @1.1.8    2 months ago

I'm buying stock in double A battery manufactures.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
1.1.14  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @1.1.9    2 months ago

Redbox has porn?

 
 
Studiusbagus
1.1.15  Studiusbagus  replied to  cobaltblue @1.1.2    2 months ago
We'll call in for a pizza. 

Now ask her why Domino's is on her speed dial, she says "The usual" and a pizza arrives with sausage, pepperoni, and little blue specs under the cheese...

 
 
Studiusbagus
1.1.16  Studiusbagus  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.4    2 months ago
Ah, I get it now

Don't feel like the lone ranger...I had to read it a few tim.....ahhh who the hell am I kidding, I used Tig's post.

 
 
Studiusbagus
1.1.17  Studiusbagus  replied to  cobaltblue @1.1.8    2 months ago
Gettin' down to bidnez takes little time, to be sure, but sometimes you just want to enjoy someone's company and a good exploration takes time. 

Damn...why am I married and you so far away? I LOVE the Motown slowdown route....Teddy Style (He says in a sultry breath)

Turn off the lights and light a candle
Tonight I'm in a romantic mood, yeah
Let's take a shower, shower together, yeah
I'll wash your body and you'll wash mine, yeah
Rub me down in some hot oils, baby, yeah
And I'll do the same thing to you
Just turn off the lights, come to me
Girl, I want to give you a special treat, you're so sweet
Turn off the lights and let's get cozy
See, you're the only one in the world that I need
I want to love you, love you all over, yeah
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again
Whisper sweet words of love in your ear
Show you I much I missed you, missed you, my dear
Turn 'em off and come to me
Tonight, I'm in a sexy mood, baby
And light a candle
Girl, there's something that I-I want to do to you, I want to do, I want to do to you, baby
Would you mind if I asked you to
Would you rub me down
Would you rub me down in some, in some burnin' hot oils, baby, yeah
I swear I can do the same thing, the same thing to you, baby
Turn 'em off and let's get cozy
I want to give you a special treat, you've been so sweet
Turn 'em off and come closer
You're the only one in this whole wide world that I'd ever need
 
 
cobaltblue
1.1.18  cobaltblue  replied to  Studiusbagus @1.1.17    2 months ago
Just turn off the lights, come to me

siiigggggghhhhhhhhhh ...

 
 
al Jizzerror
1.1.19  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @1.1.18    2 months ago

His fucking auto correct is a judgmental prude.

He probably said "cum".

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
2  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη    2 months ago

Smash the cat

Burping the worm in the mole hole.

Heels to Jesus

Muffin Stuffin

 
 
Trout Giggles
2.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @2    2 months ago

I think you will be the biggest contributor to this article

I have a few of my own:

bumping uglies

the beast with 2 backs

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
2.1.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1    2 months ago

Mashing the minge

glaze the donut

polish the porpoise 

 
 
Dismayed Patriot
2.1.2  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @2.1.1    2 months ago

Those are euphemisms for self abuse, not sex.

Here are some of my favorites just found in a list of 400 euphemisms for sex:

106. Feeding the kitty
107. Fenorking
108. Ferking
109. Fettling
110. Fickey-fick
111. Fidgeting the midget in Bridget

https://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2014/12/400-euphemisms-for-sexual-intercourse/

Fidgeting the midget in Bridget? Seems awfully specific for a euphemism...

 
 
al Jizzerror
2.1.3  al Jizzerror  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @2.1.2    2 months ago
Those are euphemisms for self abuse, not sex.

Masturbation is sex (usually without a partner).

I think people should love themselves.  It's usually safe sex (unless you fuck your vacuum cleaner).

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
2.1.4  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  al Jizzerror @2.1.3    2 months ago

In defense of punching the clown!

 
 
devangelical
2.2  devangelical  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @2    2 months ago

Painting the ceiling in the downstairs closet

 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
2.2.1  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  devangelical @2.2    2 months ago
Painting the ceiling in the downstairs closet

That might be the most sedate thing you've ever said.  

 
 
devangelical
2.2.2  devangelical  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @2.2.1    2 months ago

I'm working hard on being more subtle.

 
 
cobaltblue
3  cobaltblue    2 months ago

Gosh ... it's been so long since I had sex, I forget who ties whom up. 

I kid. I played Pokemoan hours ago. 

 
 
Trout Giggles
3.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @3    2 months ago

There she is! Now we have a party!

Where did Uptownchick go? And Sister Mary Agnes?

 
 
Uptownchick
3.1.1  Uptownchick  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.1    2 months ago

Present but working from a tablet...grrrr

Morning radio show had to keep it PG and would call it baking cookies...I miss baking cookies 🍪🍪

 
 
cobaltblue
3.1.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.1    2 months ago
Where did Uptownchick go? And Sister Mary Agnes?

They're busy texting each other:

h761326BB

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
3.1.3  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Uptownchick @3.1.1    2 months ago

Stuff the taco

Clam spearing

part the pink sea

 
 
Split Personality
3.1.4  Split Personality  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @3.1.3    2 months ago

I read something about Fuzzy tacos earlier.

 
 
Trout Giggles
3.1.5  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  Split Personality @3.1.4    2 months ago

That really is the name of a restaurant. We have one near where I live. I ate there....once

 
 
cobaltblue
3.1.6  cobaltblue  replied to  Uptownchick @3.1.1    2 months ago
Morning radio show had to keep it PG

Oh jeez! That reminds me of the time I was driving to work and the DJ wanted listeners to call in with the rudest thing someone's boyfriend ever told them. (His girlfriend told him he was insensitive when it came to her.) A few listeners called in with a few little kinda funny rude comments. This one woman calls in and says: "My boyfriend was so awful; he wanted to have sex and I told him I was ... well ... on my period." The DJ says: "Well?" She says "Well, he says 'your butt's not on its period!'"

I had to pull over I was laughin' so damned hard!!! 

 
 
Skrekk
3.1.7  Skrekk  replied to  Split Personality @3.1.4    2 months ago
I read something about Fuzzy tacos earlier.

I usually discard them once they start growing mold.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
3.1.8  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Skrekk @3.1.7    2 months ago

This an awful stories but here it goes. During high school I dated this beautiful Columbian girl on and off. She was super Catholic with the rosary, candles and cross above the bed.

One time I shaved her taco and we broke up then got back together a few months later. After a year I asked her if I could shave the taco and she started crying. When I asked her what is wrong she said if I shaved her taco I'd leave her again.

I felt like a mullet. 

Since I've never shaved a taco and left

Life lessons.

 
 
cobaltblue
4  cobaltblue    2 months ago

Hey, let's talk badfish into making this his Halloween costume! 

375.jpg

 
 
Trout Giggles
4.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @4    2 months ago

I don't think we'll have to twist his arm

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
4.2  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @4    2 months ago

I can superimpose Devengelical's avatar on that no problem

 
 
Trout Giggles
4.2.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @4.2    2 months ago

I think he might appreciate that

 
 
devangelical
4.2.2  devangelical  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @4.2    2 months ago

I'm not very familiar with that position.

 
 
devangelical
4.2.3  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @4.2.2    2 months ago

sinking a well

bridging the gap

shooting the canyon

slamming the salmon

making a salami sandwich

tanning a pelt

splitting the beaver

rover the moonscape

butter the muffin

sanding the handle

polishing the flagpole

flagpole sitting

checking the oil

domestic spelunking

naked pole vaulting

launching the missile

firing the torpedo

sticking the landing

smothering the burrito

carving the pumpkin

 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
4.2.4  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  devangelical @4.2.3    2 months ago

Now that's my boy!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
4.2.5  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4.2.4    2 months ago

Faith restored in our sick devengelical.......

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
4.2.6  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  devangelical @4.2.2    2 months ago
I'm not very familiar with that position.

Are you usually bent over?

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
5  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη    2 months ago

My favorite kind of sex is a twitterbang, less than 140 characters used in the proposition.

 
 
cobaltblue
5.1  cobaltblue  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @5    2 months ago
twitterbang

I thought you liked Big Dick Van Dyke anal sex: Shitty Shitty Poontang.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
5.1.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1    2 months ago

A wise man once said, "when the river runs red, take the dirt road."

 
 
Trout Giggles
5.1.2  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @5.1.1    2 months ago

Ah but I had a boyfriend who said you can't be a true soldier until you fight a bloody battle

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
5.1.3  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.2    2 months ago

Hemoglobin humping?

Bleed and cuddle

Draining the leech

 
 
Trout Giggles
5.1.4  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @5.1.3    2 months ago

good one

 
 
Split Personality
5.1.5  Split Personality  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1    2 months ago

OMG !!!

 
 
cobaltblue
5.1.6  cobaltblue  replied to  Split Personality @5.1.5    2 months ago
OMG !!!

What? Some people call that "roughing up the suspect." 

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
5.1.7  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.6    2 months ago

Loading the clown in the flesh cannon

Taking the bald-headed gnome for a stroll in the misty forest

Braiding beards

 
 
devangelical
5.1.8  devangelical  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @5.1.7    2 months ago

crashing the bushes

 
 
devangelical
5.1.9  devangelical  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @5.1.1    2 months ago

butthole surfing

 
 
devangelical
5.1.10  devangelical  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @5.1.1    2 months ago

plowing the back 40

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
5.1.11  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  devangelical @5.1.10    2 months ago

Does that hurt?

 
 
devangelical
5.1.12  devangelical  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @5.1.11    2 months ago

how would I know? I'm not a priest and never heard a confession.

 
 
al Jizzerror
5.1.13  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @5.1.9    2 months ago

I dove past a local church where groups of parishioners were playing "corn hole".

It smelled up up the whole neighborhood.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
5.1.14  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.13    2 months ago

I went to JcPennys the other day and there were dozens of priests there. Then I realized why. They had boys pants half off!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
6  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη    2 months ago

Oh gosh more....jrSmiley_88_smiley_image.gif

Gland to gland combat

Tenderize the Beef curtains

Bouncing Yam bags

Oil the otter

Ranching the hidden valley

Glazing the moose knuckle

 
 
cobaltblue
6.1  cobaltblue  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @6    2 months ago

... taking the hot dog bus to taco town. 

 
 
Trout Giggles
7  author  Trout Giggles    2 months ago

riding the hobby horse

hiding the salami

a poke in the whiskers

 
 
It Is ME
8  It Is ME    2 months ago

Tube Snake Boogie

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
8.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  It Is ME @8    2 months ago

Choking the Nun

Tickling guts

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
9  Perrie Halpern R.A.    2 months ago

A bit of crumpet
A bit of the old in-out, in-out

Aggressive cuddling

Attacking the pink fortress

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
9.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @9    2 months ago

jrSmiley_72_smiley_image.gif

Steaming the carpet

Taming the kitty

shampooing the wookie

 
 
devangelical
9.2  devangelical  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @9    2 months ago

nice Clockwork Orange reference

 
 
Trout Giggles
10  author  Trout Giggles    2 months ago

Mr G and I now have hallway sex

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
10.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @10    2 months ago

Are you going to leave us hanging?

 
 
Trout Giggles
10.1.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @10.1    2 months ago

Oh! Sorry 'bout that

It's when you pass each other in the hallway and tell each other ' "fuck you"

 
 
cobaltblue
10.1.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.1    2 months ago
t's when you pass each other in the hallway and tell each other ' "fuck you"

OMIGAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDD!!!! FUCKIN' HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
10.1.3  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  cobaltblue @10.1.2    2 months ago

You're killing me. And I have bladder control issues. 

 
 
Trout Giggles
10.1.4  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @10.1.3    2 months ago

See? I said we need a flag option for "making me pee in my pants"

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
10.1.5  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.4    2 months ago

You might have a point there. 

Oh here's one! 

Bagpipping! 

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
10.1.6  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.4    2 months ago

pee in your pants? You've never worked in Moscow have you?

 
 
cobaltblue
11  cobaltblue    2 months ago

Pressure-washing the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle.

Getting one’s Twinkie stinky.

Playing with the box the kid came in.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @11    2 months ago

Stuffing the box the kid came in.

Splitting the hamster

Thrashing the gash

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.1  cobaltblue  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1    2 months ago
Stuffing the box the kid came in.

Quit copying me!!! Why don't you go and spray paint someone's cervix!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1.2  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @11.1.1    2 months ago

You edited.....

penalty cobalt blew

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.3  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.2    2 months ago

Don't make me get the Naked Twister Game out

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.4  cobaltblue  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.2    2 months ago
cobalt blew

How did you know that's how I keep my man from snoring? And how I wake him up on weekends. I swear, sometimes my hun snores sooo danged loud, so I start rubbin' his butt and kissing him down his back, nibblin' his butt, kissing his thighs, the I roll him over and do the deed. And after all is said and done, I say "NOW will you stop snoring??!?!?"

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.5  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.3    2 months ago
Don't make me get the Naked Twister Game out

Isn't that in the bureau where you kept the velvet handcuffs and ball gags? 

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.6  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @11.1.5    2 months ago

Can you find my tan blouse that I lost, too?

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.7  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.6    2 months ago
Can you find my tan blouse that I lost

I think aljizz took it as a souvenir because he liked it on you since it was see-thru and you wore it braless. 

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.8  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @11.1.7    2 months ago

damn! I liked that blouse, too!

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.9  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.8    2 months ago
I liked that blouse, too!

So did everyone else! Especially in the Buttheads and SiNners clubhouses ... !

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1.10  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @11.1.9    2 months ago

It's Humptoberfest!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1.11  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @11.1.4    2 months ago
How did you know that's how I keep my man from snoring? And how I wake him up on weekends. I swear, sometimes my hun snores sooo danged loud, so I start rubbin' his butt and kissing him down his back, nibblin' his butt, kissing his thighs, the I roll him over and do the deed. And after all is said and done, I say "NOW will you stop snoring??!?!?"

Does he take the cpap machine off?

Or do you role play star wars......Darth Vader stabs Chewbacca?

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.12  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.11    2 months ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

I'm flagging you for that!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1.13  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.12    2 months ago

Chewbaccablue.........jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
11.1.14  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.13    2 months ago

roflmao!

You two are nuts.

 
 
TᵢG
11.1.15  TᵢG  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @11.1.14    2 months ago

ButtHeads is indeed emerging from the ashes.   

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.16  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  TᵢG @11.1.15    2 months ago

I need authors and seeders who know how to get it going on

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1.17  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.16    2 months ago

Seeded one today.....not a ton of love....

 
 
TᵢG
11.1.18  TᵢG  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.16    2 months ago

Just keep working it.   This will eventually catch on because people enjoy the alternate dialogue that this group offers.   After all, how much can one really discuss Kavanaugh, et. al.?

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.19  cobaltblue  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.11    2 months ago
Does he take the cpap machine off?

Omigawd ... don't even mention cpap machines to him ... he hates the thought! 

Darth is so lucky. I don't snore at all. 

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.20  cobaltblue  replied to  TᵢG @11.1.18    2 months ago
can one really discuss Kavanaugh, et. al.

Well, I brought up devil's triangle and boofing or whatever. Does that count??

 
 
cobaltblue
11.1.21  cobaltblue  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @11.1.14    2 months ago
You two are nuts.

That's what I whisper into my sweetheart's pants zipper ... 

 
 
epistte
11.1.22  epistte  replied to  cobaltblue @11.1.21    2 months ago

Doing the Posturepedic polka.

 
 
Split Personality
11.1.23  Split Personality  replied to  TᵢG @11.1.18    2 months ago

I swear if I see that man's face on a seed after next Wednesday.....

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.24  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.17    2 months ago

Did you seed it in ButtHeads? Where is it?

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.25  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  TᵢG @11.1.18    2 months ago

I know I'm getting sick of Kavanaugh. I need laughter in my life.

Thanks for the words of encouragment

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1.26  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @11.1.19    2 months ago

Hard to snore with his light saber in your pie hole.....

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.27  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.17    2 months ago

Never mind my comment below. You're talking about your baby photo seed.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
11.1.28  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.27    2 months ago

Yes boss.....

I elect cobalt to enter that dying internet prison called Minds and breakout DSKI and aljizz and any of the others we lost.

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.29  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @11.1.28    2 months ago

I second that motion. She can entice any male to follow her

 
 
al Jizzerror
11.1.30  al Jizzerror  replied to  Trout Giggles @11.1.16    2 months ago

I'll write something if I can figure out how to do it.

Wow that really sounds stupid.  I'll have to figure out how to post content.

 
 
Trout Giggles
11.1.31  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  al Jizzerror @11.1.30    2 months ago

You'll get it

 
 
Split Personality
12  Split Personality    2 months ago

 
 
Split Personality
13  Split Personality    2 months ago

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
13.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Split Personality @13    2 months ago

 
 
Split Personality
14  Split Personality    2 months ago

I used to play lot's of pool

why did every one laugh

when ever I called,

Two ball, middle pocket

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
14.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Split Personality @14    2 months ago
why did every one laugh

Because the pocket already had two balls in it.

 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
14.1.1  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @14.1    2 months ago
Because the pocket already had two balls in it.

Pants:  Royally peed.

 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
14.2  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Split Personality @14    2 months ago
Two ball, middle pocket

Pants:  Peed.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
14.2.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @14.2    2 months ago

We heard you the first time....(I'll be hiding now)

 
 
Trout Giggles
14.2.2  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @14.2.1    2 months ago

chicken

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
14.2.3  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @14.2.2    2 months ago

Sister is intimidating although I find the cigar to be extremely hot and bothersome. Sometimes I have to cover her Avatar with a post it note to focus on work.

 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
14.2.4  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @14.2.1    2 months ago
We heard you the first time....(I'll be hiding now)

What?  You got the higher rating, ffs!  

 
 
cobaltblue
15  cobaltblue    2 months ago

What? No one's mentioned "devil's triangle" and "boofing"???

 
 
Split Personality
15.1  Split Personality  replied to  cobaltblue @15    2 months ago

or FFFFF ?

(sic)?

 
 
cobaltblue
16  cobaltblue    2 months ago

Hey! Giggles shows up as "Author"! That's so cool ... is that new? 

 
 
Trout Giggles
16.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @16    2 months ago

I just noticed it! That is cool!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
16.1.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Trout Giggles @16.1    2 months ago

Even though you're the author, the slow breathers on the site will likely still blame me.....jrSmiley_52_smiley_image.gif

 
 
Trout Giggles
16.1.2  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @16.1.1    2 months ago

My evil plan has worked

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
16.1.3  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @16.1.2    2 months ago

Yes ladies and gents that is new! 

We are always trying to improve the site for your enjoyment. 

 
 
Trout Giggles
16.1.4  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @16.1.3    2 months ago

I love it! You and TiG have really done a lot to improve the site and I appreciate it

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
16.1.5  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @16.1.3    2 months ago

Author tagged for your pleasure.

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
16.1.6  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @16.1.5    2 months ago

:)

Thanks guys. Always trying to make NT more fun!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
16.1.7  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @16.1.6    2 months ago

Spreading joy on a site with too much misery....prepare for butthurt from the anal retentive partisan horde.

 
 
Trout Giggles
17  author  Trout Giggles    2 months ago

Leaving for the night. Be good and if you can't be good be good at it

 
 
MrFrost
18  MrFrost    2 months ago

Laying wood to the beef curtain. 

 
 
MrFrost
19  MrFrost    2 months ago

Crushing buns

 
 
MrFrost
20  MrFrost    2 months ago

Crippling the cooter.

 
 
MrFrost
21  MrFrost    2 months ago

Getting some stank on the hung low.

 
 
MrFrost
22  MrFrost    2 months ago

Laying pipe

 
 
MrFrost
23  MrFrost    2 months ago

Nut in the gut

 
 
MrFrost
24  MrFrost    2 months ago

Organ grinding

 
 
MrFrost
25  MrFrost    2 months ago

Playing with the box the kid came in

 
 
MrFrost
26  MrFrost    2 months ago

Beaver beating

 
 
MrFrost
27  MrFrost    2 months ago

Releasing the troops.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
27.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  MrFrost @27    2 months ago

Well done homeslice......exceptional list!

 
 
MrFrost
27.1.1  MrFrost  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @27.1    2 months ago

Thank you. 

 
 
Uptownchick
28  Uptownchick    2 months ago

17 Euphemisms for Sex From the 1800s

1. Amorous congress

To say two people were engaged in amorous congress was by far the most polite option on the list, oftentimes serving as the definition for other, less discreet synonyms.

2. Basket-making

"Those two recently opened a basket-making shop." From a method of making children's stockings, in which knitting the heel is called basket-making.

3. Bread and butter

One on top of the other. "Rumor has it he found her bread and butter fashion with the neighbor."

4. Brush

"Yeah, we had a brush once." The emphasis here is on brevity; just a fling, no big deal.

5. Clicket

"They left together, so they're probably at clicket." This was originally used only for foxes, but became less specific as more and more phrases for doing it were needed.

6. Face-making

Aside from the obvious, this also comes from "making children," because babies have faces.

7. Blanket hornpipe

There is probably no way to use this in seriousness or discreetly, but there you have it.

8. Blow the grounsils

"Grounsils" are foundation timbers, so "on the floor."

9. Convivial society

Similar to "amorous congress" in that this was a gentler term suitable for even the noble classes to use, even if they only whispered it.

10. Take a flyer

"Flyers" being shoes, this is "dressed, or without going to bed."

11. Green gown

Giving a girl a green gown can only happen in the grass.

12. Lobster kettle

A woman who sleeps with soldiers coming in at port is said to "make a lobster kettle" of herself.

13. Melting moments

Those shared by "a fat man and woman in amorous congress."

14. Pully hawly

A game at pully hawly is a series of affairs.

15. St. George

In the story of St. George and the Dragon, the dragon reared up from the lake to tower over the saint. "Playing at St. George" casts a woman as the dragon and puts her on top.

16. A stitch

Similar to having a brush, "making a stitch" is a casual affair.

17. Tiff

A tiff could be a minor argument or falling-out, as we know it. In the 19th century, it was also a term for eating or drinking between meals, or in this case, a quickie.

 
 
Trout Giggles
28.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  Uptownchick @28    2 months ago

See how versatile Sinners and ButtHeads are? We even get history lessons!

Great list, Uptownchick!

 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
28.1.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @28.1    2 months ago

Uppy is one smart chick.

 
 
cobaltblue
28.1.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @28.1.1    2 months ago
Uppy is one smart chick.

True dat. Uppy's no downer. 

 
 
Uptownchick
28.1.3  Uptownchick  replied to  cobaltblue @28.1.2    2 months ago

cGrnD0MGJqCv-KjwqZmNUlYSBqBixv-EyNKNg9S7

 
 
Split Personality
28.2  Split Personality  replied to  Uptownchick @28    2 months ago
7. Blanket hornpipe There is probably no way to use this in seriousness or discreetly, but there you have it.

I always thought it was "Hornpie"

Nevertheless, it still makes no sense to me, lol

 
 
Trout Giggles
29  author  Trout Giggles    2 months ago

The horizontal tango

 
 
devangelical
30  devangelical    2 months ago

getting your groove on

putting the stink in the mink

flocking the xmas tree

 
 
cobaltblue
31  cobaltblue    2 months ago

slamnjam.png

 
 
Skrekk
31.1  Skrekk  replied to  cobaltblue @31    2 months ago

Always try before you buy......use Zappos for vaginas.

 
 
Split Personality
31.2  Split Personality  replied to  cobaltblue @31    2 months ago

Yikes

 
 
Uptownchick
32  Uptownchick    2 months ago

1*Cbt2ORNMLr2lJmGXG-DwmQ.png

 
 
devangelical
32.1  devangelical  replied to  Uptownchick @32    2 months ago

love the brevity

 
 
Split Personality
32.1.1  Split Personality  replied to  devangelical @32.1    2 months ago

the what?

 
 
devangelical
32.1.2  devangelical  replied to  Split Personality @32.1.1    2 months ago

... of the euphemism. did I spell it wrong? everyone is a critic now...

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
32.1.3  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  devangelical @32.1.2    2 months ago

plunder the critic

salting the critic

spanking the whatever

 
 
devangelical
32.1.4  devangelical  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @32.1.3    2 months ago

stiffing the waitress

stuffing the snapper

sharpening the sword

"to the bat cave"

 
 
al Jizzerror
32.2  al Jizzerror  replied to  Uptownchick @32    2 months ago

Fuck?

I've hear that one.

Is it some kind of medical terminology?

Technically it's a very hard to reach the actual entrance.

I once met a technical virgin but I couldn't understand her explanation because her mouth was full.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
33  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη    2 months ago

Let's just say that I got in some trouble over this article Saturday night. I was a little intoxicated and the Mrs. Fish wanted her fin diddled and I was taming the kitty when I started thinking of euphemisms and started laughing.

Not good!

I then had to go through the pain staking progression of it's not you, not it's not that or this or @#%@$%@

 
 
Uncle Bruce
34  Uncle Bruce    2 months ago

One of the comments here reminded me of a bit from Ron White, talking about his wife being on her period and no sex.

Just because the roller coaster is broke, doesn't mean the whole amusement park is shut down...the log ride is still open!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
34.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Uncle Bruce @34    2 months ago

LoL

Welcome back uncle Bruce

 
 
Uncle Bruce
34.1.1  Uncle Bruce  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @34.1    2 months ago

Thanks Broshizzle!

 
 
Split Personality
35  Split Personality    2 months ago

Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? They couldn't close his casket.

 
 
MUVA
36  MUVA    2 months ago

What's sex I have been married for 30 years I know I have heard that word somewhere.

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
36.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  MUVA @36    2 months ago

As we age we often start exceeding the gross weight limit for our spouse.

Yank her to the edge of the bed, plow it standing to avoid crushing her.

 
 
Uptownchick
37  Uptownchick    2 months ago

028aeddcf9ea0726a737d6066f43df15.jpg

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
38  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη    2 months ago

This article has been the subject of a lot of turmoil as many of our members are too old to be sexually active (with a partner).

We have euphemisms for them!

Punching the Clown

Loping the mule

hand to glove combat

rubbing the nub

Wax on wack off

Bleeding the worm

cuddling the kielbasa

Going hand solo

One man hand band

Evicting the testicular squatter

spanking the monkey

flogging the fossil

 
 
Studiusbagus
38.1  Studiusbagus  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @38    2 months ago

Polishing the pipe

Washing the dolphin

Pulling the pud

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
38.1.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Studiusbagus @38.1    2 months ago

Draining the dragon

Holding the sausage hostage

Pull starting the yogurt maker

Jackin the beanstalk

making the bald man cry

roughing up the suspect

googling oneself

spilling the tax deductions

 
 
Ender
38.2  Ender  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @38    2 months ago

That's what the blue pill is for.

Though it does give the phrase, gleaming the cube, a new meaning.

 
 
T.Fargo
38.3  T.Fargo  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @38    2 months ago

Pulling taffy

Visiting Harry and the handerson

Clinching a game of solitaire

Smashing the cat

Putting the fish mitten on the god rod

Eating boxed clams at the Y

Frisking the one eyed bandit 

Horizontal Mambo (or Samba)

Making nut butter

Opening the meat curtains

Putting the meat saber in the baby scabbard

Flattening the furkini

Bumpin' uglies

Charging the stork

Warming up the soul kitchen with a hot batch of man chowder

Bustin' a cap in exchange for some crack

Tonguing the tuna taco

Tongue 'n Groove wood making

Parting the red sea with the staff of life

Squeezing the toothpaste from the base of the tube

Plastering the chum tunnel 

 
 
Studiusbagus
39  Studiusbagus    2 months ago

Gosh! You guys started me thinking...And I'm wondering why nobody has done it yet...The end credit outtakes from "Grumpier old men"

Looks like Chuck's taking the skin boat to Tuna Town

Looks like Chuck is taking the log to the beaver

Looks like Chuck's taking a ride on the Wild Baloney pony

Now I'm going to have to watch that movie again....

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
39.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  Studiusbagus @39    2 months ago

There is better porn out there than "Grumpier old men" but to each their own.

jrSmiley_68_smiley_image.png

I think that is the movie with Kindalickta pokya and Come on I wanna lay ya as Hawaiian island references.

 
 
Studiusbagus
39.1.1  Studiusbagus  replied to  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη @39.1    2 months ago
I think that is the movie with Kindalickta pokya and Come on I wanna lay ya as Hawaiian island references

Yes

 
 
Studiusbagus
40  Studiusbagus    2 months ago

True Story:

  My buddy cuts half his index (first) finger with a skil-saw.

We're at the hospital and he calls his wife on speaker phone no less.

"Honey I'm at Raulerson, I cut my index finger off"

She says "The whole finger?"

His ass says..."No! The one next to it!"
 
 
cobaltblue
40.1  cobaltblue  replied to  Studiusbagus @40    2 months ago
His ass says..."No! The one next to it!"

oh dear gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwd!!!!

 
 
badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη
40.1.1  badfish hαηd ⊕ƒ †hε Ωuεεη  replied to  cobaltblue @40.1    2 months ago

Sweeping the chimney!

 
 
al Jizzerror
41  al Jizzerror    2 months ago

I just enlisted in this group so I'm late on this article.

It reminds me of the "Innuendo article" on NV. 

 
 
Trout Giggles
41.1  author  Trout Giggles  replied to  al Jizzerror @41    2 months ago

It was what I was trying to re-create but without all the pearl clutching and couch fainting. As you may have noticed, the prudes stayed off this article

 
 
devangelical
41.1.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @41.1    2 months ago

religious euphemisms for sex usually aren't that funny. welcome back al.

 
 
Studiusbagus
41.1.2  Studiusbagus  replied to  devangelical @41.1.1    2 months ago

No, but you did make me think of a few..."shtooped"

"He was liimping like an alter boy after high mass"

 
 
Split Personality
42  Split Personality    2 months ago

baculum

 
 
T.Fargo
42.1  T.Fargo  replied to  Split Personality @42    2 months ago
baculum

Who is... the actor from Quantum Leap?

 
 
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