Why The March Against Trump Is Giving Him What He Needs Narcissistic Supply
The narcissist thrives on attention wether it is good or bad. He is constantly seeking narcissistic supply. He thrives on power and control. The march verifies that he has power over people and in his mind he is superior to them as they are voicing their displeasure to his words and actions. He thrives on the attention being given to him. The narcissistic loves to be hated and hates to be loved as Dr. Sam Vaknin describes below.
If I had to distil my quotidian existence in two pithy sentences, I would say: I love to be hated and I hate to be loved. Hate is the complement of fear and I like being feared. It imbues me with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence. I am veritably inebriated by the looks of horror or repulsion on people's faces. They know that I am capable of anything. Godlike, I am ruthless and devoid of scruples, capricious and unfathomable, emotion-less and asexual, omniscient, omnipotent and omni-present, a plague, a devastation, an inescapable verdict. I nurture my ill-repute, stoking it and fanning the flames of gossip. It is an enduring asset.
The English Paediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott suggested that abused children need to hate and to be hated as a defense against the false hope of ever being loved. They not only act out anti-socially but also seek to provoke hatred in parents, caregivers, and authority figures. At least in this comfort zone of mutual antagonism there is no risk of being shattered by the disappointment and frustration that are the ineluctable outcomes of hope.
But, hate and fear are also sure generators of attention. It is all about Narcissistic Supply , of course - the drug which we, the narcissists consume and which consumes us in return. So, attack sadistically authority figures, institutions, my hosts and I make sure they know about my eruptions.
I purvey only the truth and nothing but the truth - but I tell it bluntly told in an orgy of evocative baroque English.
The blind rage that this induces in the targets of my vitriolic diatribes provokes in me a surge of satisfaction and inner tranquillity not obtainable by any other means. I like to think about their pain, of course - but that is the lesser part of the equation.
It is my horrid future and inescapable punishment that carries the irresistible appeal. Like some strain of alien virus, it infects my better judgement and I succumb.
In general, my weapon is the truth and human propensity to avoid it. In tactless breaching of every etiquette, I chastise and berate and snub and offer vitriolic opprobrium. A self-proclaimed Jeremiah, I hector and harangue from my many self-made pulpits. I understand the prophets. I understand Torquemada.
I bask in the incomparable pleasure of being RIGHT. I derive my grandiose superiority from the contrast between my righteousness and the humanness of others.
But it is not that simple. It never is with narcissists. Fostering public revolt and the inevitable ensuing social sanctions fulfils two other psychodynamic goals.
The first one I alluded to. It is the burning desire - nay, NEED - to be punished.
In the grotesque mind of the narcissist, his punishment is equally his vindication.
By being permanently on trial, the narcissist claims high moral ground and the position of the martyr: misunderstood, discriminated against, unjustly roughed, outcast by his very towering genius or other outstanding qualities. To conform to the cultural stereotype of the "tormented artist" - the narcissist provokes his own suffering. He is thus validated.
His grandiose fantasies acquire a modicum of substance. "If I were not so special - they wouldn't have persecuted me so."
The persecution of the narcissist IS his uniqueness. He must be different, for better or for worse. The streak of paranoia embedded in him, makes the outcome inevitable. He is in constant conflict with lesser beings: his spouse, his shrink, his boss, his colleagues. Forced to stoop to their intellectual level, the narcissist feels like Gulliver: a giant strapped by Lilliputians. His life is a constant struggle against the self-contented mediocrity of his surroundings. This is his fate which he accepts, though never stoically. It is a calling, a mission and a recurrence in his stormy life.
Deeper still, the narcissist has an image of himself as a worthless, bad and dysfunctional extension of others. In constant need of Narcissistic Supply, he feels humiliated. The contrast between his cosmic fantasies and the reality of his dependence, neediness and, often, failure (the "Grandiosity Gap") is an emotionally harrowing experience. It is a constant background noise of devilish, demeaning laughter. The voices say: "You are a fraud", "You are a zero", "You deserve nothing", "If only they knew how worthless you are".
The narcissist attempts to silence these tormenting voices not by fighting them but by agreeing with them. Unconsciously - sometimes consciously - he says to them: "I do agree with you. I am bad and worthless and deserving of the most severe punishment for my rotten character, bad habits, addiction and the constant fraud that is my life. I will go out and seek my doom. Now that I have complied - will you leave me be? Will you leave me alone"?
Of course, they never do.
http://samvak.tripod.com/narcissistmasochist.html
Tags
Who is online
66 visitors
The narcissist thrives on attention whether it is good or bad. He is constantly seeking narcissistic supply. He thrives on power and control. The march verifies that he has power over people and in his mind he is superior to them as they are voicing their displeasure to his words and actions. He thrives on the attention being given to him.
The narcissist thrives on attention whether it is good or bad. He is constantly seeking narcissistic supply. He thrives on power and control. The march verifies that he has power over people and in his mind he is superior to them as they are voicing their displeasure to his words and actions. He thrives on the attention being given to him.
Pointless. Trump will always find a "supply" . This march won't effect that one way or the other.
He tweeted about Schwarzenegger's Apprentice ratings for god's sake. He will find his supply anywhere.
Are you saying that you're a narcissist? Because I don't see that in you. At all.
No Dr. Sam Vaknin is I linked to it on the bottom of the page. He has thorough understanding of narcissism as he himself is a narcissist.
Thanks, Dean, I missed the link. I don't think you're a narcissist!!! For sure!
Yes I had a relationship with one once and I started to display codependency traits. After I learned all about narcissism and what I was dealing with the codependency went away.
First off, I disagree with this anti Trump march. At best it will achieve nothing and at worst it makes them all look like sore losers.
That being said, I agree with the content of this article. A close friend of mine was married to a true narcissist and any attention is good attention, since in their minds they can spin it and come out the winner. They are always the winner. That is why they are better off ignored.
If people want to show their discontent with this administration, my suggestion would be, being proactive and driving your representatives crazy. Let them know that if they support Trump, you will not be supporting them. That is far more effective, and not much he can do to affect that outcome.
I disagree Perrie.
A 200,000 person protest of an incoming president will be a historic event in and of itself. No president in history has ever been met with that magnitude of public disapproval. It is the throwing down of a marker.
Many of these people will come home from this event more interested in politics and ready to be active on their local level.
Trump is a historically unqualified, divisive and dishonest president-elect. There has never been anyone as unfit as he is.
The tragic event should be commemorated in history.
Hopefully he will do a good job. Many narcissists are very successful at their work. Steve Jobs is a good example.
The same doctor I quoted above has also identified Obama as a narcissist and you like the job he's done.
The march is giving Trump what he wants attention and will not change his mind regarding policy. Everyone already knows lots of people hate Trump and he knows it. The haters will not be able to bully him.