From Darkness To Everlasting Light

  

Category:  Health, Science & Technology

By:  magnoliaave  •  4 years ago  •  55 comments

From Darkness To  Everlasting Light

 

The day it all changed for me going from living a nightmare to living in reality started out as just another day.  This was going to be different.  In walked this young aide and the only thing she said was good morning.  She proceeded to change my diaper, then, she went and got some clothes for me .....a pair of old black pants and a torn football type shirt.  She dressed me and put me in a wheelchair, then, proceeded to roll me into the dining room to a table.  She didn't say a word, but left me there. Some there were just staring at me as I must have looked a sight.  Breakfast was served and I began feeling different.

I was taken back to my room.  I never saw that little aide, again.  Even though I asked about her no one knew who it was.  An older aide, Val, came in and told me that I needed clothes. Between my son and dear friend, Leah, they got clothes and I began living in this world, again.

I was told of some of the crazy things I did and said.  They couldn't understand that I was living it.  All I could do was say I am sorry.

I began physical therapy as I couldn't even stand.  I lost a good portion of my eyesight and on oxygen. 

I can walk now with assistance, I have eye glasses, but still on oxygen.  I am HOME....praise God!


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magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
1  author  magnoliaave    4 years ago

My cup is flowing with thanks.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
2  Perrie Halpern R.A.    4 years ago

Mags, what happened to you? Did you have a stroke?

 
 
 
Release The Kraken
PhD Principal
2.1  Release The Kraken  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2    4 years ago

Yeah, stop beating around the bush......we are dying to know. Curiosity killed the fish.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.1  author  magnoliaave  replied to  Release The Kraken @2.1    4 years ago

In the first article, I stated the diagnosis.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
2.1.2  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.1    4 years ago

Yes, now I see. OMG, I can't believe it was the flu. You poor thing. I wish you a speedy recovery. 

I hope you don't mind me asking, but did you get the flu shot?

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.3  author  magnoliaave  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.1.2    4 years ago

No, I didn't, but had the pneumonia vaccine.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.1.4  JBB  replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.3    4 years ago

It is a sad coincidence but I lost two close friends this year to the flu. My Mom hounded me to get my flu shot as she always does but this year it was with the added warning that, "They say this year's flu is nasty". Over thirty years ago my Father got the flu which progressed to pneumonia landing him in the hospital for ten days. Like many men he refused to get medical help until Mom forced him. What induced her to take that unusual step was that he was plainly hallucinating his behind off and had gone quite mad. He took a shot out the back door at invading Martians. Those who have not experienced sever hallucinaions cannot know how real they can be. It can be like being in another dimension. In any case, thank goodness you are on the mend. It sounds like you are lucky to be still with us. I bet that makes your Easter extra special this year...

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
2.1.5  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.3    4 years ago

My husband had the pneumonia shot, but he just came home after having pneumonia.  It would seem the shot he got did not protect him from the strain he had.  It was like when I got the typhoid shot in basic, but I ended up with it years later anyway.  I am wishing you a speedy recovery.

 
 
 
XDm9mm
Masters Expert
2.1.6  XDm9mm  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @2.1.5    4 years ago

Maybe you should have gotten the booster:

Does typhoid vaccine need a booster

Inactivated typhoid vaccine (shot). One dose provides protection. It should be given at least 2 weeks before travel to allow the vaccine time to work. A booster dose is needed every 2 years for people who remain at risk.
Kind of like I just recently received a new Yellow Fever.   They don't last forever.
 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.7  author  magnoliaave  replied to  JBB @2.1.4    4 years ago

For seven weeks madness and, yet, here I am.  I am so glad you told me about your Dad.  Did he remember any of it?  Unfortunately, I remember it. 

My son just left and I was doing a breathing treatment and started crying.  Do you know what it is like to not being able to breathe? 

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.8  author  magnoliaave  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @2.1.5    4 years ago

Same thing with my pneumonia vaccine.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.9  author  magnoliaave  replied to  JBB @2.1.4    4 years ago

I am so sorry about your friends.

 
 
 
arkpdx
PhD Participates
2.1.10  arkpdx  replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.7    4 years ago

I had an allergic reaction to a drug I was given in the hospital after my heart surgery. Beside the rash and itches I could not breath. The dumb thing I did was fight with the staff as they were trying to put an oxygen mask on me to help me breath. My mind could not accept that putting something over my face was going to help. 

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.1.11  JBB  replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.7    4 years ago
Did he remember any of it?

Yes and he had a sense of humor about it since what had seemed so serious to him at the time was so absurd...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.12  CB   replied to  JBB @2.1.4    4 years ago

Reading intently.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.13  CB   replied to  Paula Bartholomew @2.1.5    4 years ago

Intently reading. Sounds awful!!! Guys  (JBB), I had both the flu and pneumonia shot done. Doing good so far! Thank God.  One thing I observe in my general practitioner, she makes sure I get everything I need and I have learned to roll with her recommendations. Over many years I simply trust her profession opinions.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.14  author  magnoliaave  replied to  arkpdx @2.1.10    4 years ago

When one can't breathe anxiety takes over.  It is horrible and I understand.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.15  author  magnoliaave  replied to  JBB @2.1.11    4 years ago

I am glad he could see it like that.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.16  CB   replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.7    4 years ago

I had pneumonia once. So yes, I will confide this. Pneumonia after so many days of it caused me to understand that having some conditions are worse than death! I was shallow breathing for days and nights, before I was taken to the hospital. Yes, I too, did not comprehend what was happening to me, so I did not go on my own.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.17  author  magnoliaave  replied to  CB @2.1.16    4 years ago

Not being able to breathe scares me even now.  The experiences I had in re hab when I was lucid and of right mind were inexcusable.....created by bad professional behavior and downright abuse by some of the aides.  The nurses were awesome. but the aides ran the show.  On three occasions, however, the nurse on duty came to my aid.  Those were the really bad occasions, but there were many more.  Yes, I reported them, but the retaliation came during the graveyard shift.

I don't even want to think about what happened when I was in the darkness!  

How can I.. ever thank Cathy, Mary, Ginnie, Queensa and their care?  These nurses made it possible for me to return to my home.  Cathy and Ginnie....you ran defense for me.........I owe my life to you and my son, Mark. 

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.18  author  magnoliaave  replied to  CB @2.1.13    4 years ago

I was a foolish hero.   I was tough and could handle it all.  For twenty years, I took only two pills.....blood pressure and thyroid.  Never sick!

Guess what.  This literally laid me out on the ground.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.19  CB   replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.17    4 years ago

You can send them cards, flowers, or a gift of your choosing. God! Do nurses appreciate it. Also, a letter of appreciation filed with their department goes far to demonstrate the 'extra' step.

Now then, to those 'rascals' that treated you poorly, less than, or with harm --write, email, or telephone the head of the Center. Why should they get away with making money being bad people? However, all in due time.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.1.20  author  magnoliaave  replied to  CB @2.1.19    4 years ago

Already reported them.

I can tell you why they got away with it, but I won't.  And, I can tell you why they will still get away with it, but I won't.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.21  CB   replied to  magnoliaave @2.1.20    4 years ago

Big smile.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
2.1.22  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  XDm9mm @2.1.6    4 years ago

I can't ever get a booster because I already contracted the disease previously.  It could trigger a fatal reaction.  I am actually glad it was typhoid I contracted.  Let  me explain.  At the time, I was a lab tech for the Army and plating specimens.  Normally I would have been drawing blood on pregnant soldiers, but because I was just getting over the flu, it wasn't safe to be around the pregnant ladies so they put me in the specimen lab plus I was in an arm cast.  The reason I am grateful for getting typhoid was because one of the other plates I was doing were of Legionere's Disease.  The treatment for Typhoid is far less complicated and less fatal than LD.

 
 
 
XDm9mm
Masters Expert
2.1.23  XDm9mm  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @2.1.22    4 years ago

I meant to get the booster before the actual disease.

BUT......  that's really immaterial anyway.  As you know, just because someone gets a vaccine, does not mean they'll never get the disease, but if they do, likely not as serious.  Like the flu vaccine is no guarantee you won't get the flu, but if you do contract it, it likely won't be as bad and your own immune system will be better able to fight it off.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
2.1.24  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  XDm9mm @2.1.23    4 years ago

I had only gotten the shot a year previously.  Unfortunately, it did not protect me from the strain I had.  

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.2  author  magnoliaave  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2    4 years ago

Hi.......Pneumonia and flu....so toxic it attacked my body.

 
 
 
JaneDoe
Sophomore Silent
2.2.1  JaneDoe  replied to  magnoliaave @2.2    4 years ago

Glad you're back and on the way to recovery. Heal swiftly.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
2.2.2  author  magnoliaave  replied to  JaneDoe @2.2.1    4 years ago

Thank you.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Expert
4  Hal A. Lujah    4 years ago

You are a fighter - happy to see that you conquered it.  I hear too many stories about those who didn't.  My two year old grandson is going in for another open heart surgery this month.  It scares me that his defenses will be down, in a hospital loaded with dangerous microbes and inconsiderate assholes who decide it's okay to go visit their friends and loved ones in the hospital when they themselves are sick. 

My boss did that a couple months ago.  He was too sick to come to work, but his brother in law with pneumonia had slipped into a coma at the hospital - and he decided he wasn't too sick to go visit a dangerously ill person in a coma at the hospital.  The brother in law died a couple days later when the pneumonia turned septic.  I can't say for certain that my boss' sneezing germs made the poor guy's condition worse, but I can say for sure that he didn't need to be visiting an extremely sick person who was comatose, while he himself was too sick to make it to work.  That is a guy who thinks only about himself.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
4.1  author  magnoliaave  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @4    4 years ago

Your two year old grandson....my heart goes out to all of you.  I know you aren't much on prayer, but please, I would like to add him to my prayers. 

My two sons told me that when the doctors said they could do no more for me and that it was up to me, I am told they kept saying....fight, Mom.  I guess I did.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
4.2  Enoch  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @4    4 years ago

Dear Friend Hal: I am here for you and yours if how and as needed and requested.

Site private notes and personal emails the way to go, for confidentiality.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Phoenyx13
Sophomore Silent
5  Phoenyx13    4 years ago

i'm very glad you are home and starting to recover - the ordeal you went through was amazingly horrible (the illness).  Big hugs

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
5.1  author  magnoliaave  replied to  Phoenyx13 @5    4 years ago

The ordeal of the nightmare that I lived through for nine weeks will stay with me forever. 

Thank you fot your kind words.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
5.1.1  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  magnoliaave @5.1    4 years ago

I know we have often clashed, but I sincerely send you my best wishes to recover fully.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
5.1.2  author  magnoliaave  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @5.1.1    4 years ago

Only in politics....not the real things that matter.  Thank you, Paula.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
5.1.3  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  magnoliaave @5.1.2    4 years ago

Big hugs

 
 
 
katrix
Sophomore Guide
6  katrix    4 years ago

I'm so sorry to hear it, so happy you're home and doing better, and I'll be pulling for you to continue healing - both mentally and physically. The mental nightmare is probably even harder on you than the physical effects.

You might want to consider one of those Life Alert necklaces, so you can get help immediately if you need it.  I got one for my mom (in her case, I had to get the type which goes off automatically, since she won't remember to push the button if she falls).  

As you know, I don't pray - but I will ask my Mom to send a prayer for you, and when I talk to her former priest this weekend (he's helping me to arrange for her to get communion as a shut-in, since I cannot get her interested in going to church any longer, just as she provided to others when she was a deacon), I will ask the same of him.  

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
7  author  magnoliaave    4 years ago

Thank you for the prayers however they come.

I think I understand your Mom.  We tend to lose interest with no available energy.  Our kids want us to do things cause it makes them feel better. 

 
 
 
katrix
Sophomore Guide
7.1  katrix  replied to  magnoliaave @7    4 years ago
We tend to lose interest with no available energy.  Our kids want us to do things cause it makes them feel better. 

We do feel better if our parents are active and engaged, but reality has to kick in as well.  The question is .. what do you want?   Are there local groups who can get you more engaged and mentally active, get you to church, get you to volunteer, or whatever engages you and makes you want to get out of bed once you're physically able?   You fought your way out of this illness, something that might have killed someone else, so I don't think you want to give up.   What do you want your life to be like from here on out?

Mom and Father Mark have both said prayers for you, and will continue to do so.  I don't know your real name, and I don't need to.  Mom told me "God will know who I'm praying for."  I hope this brings you some comfort, and I hope that you take Enoch up on his offer to serve you as a chaplain .. if Mom didn't have dementia, she would have been very willing to serve you as a chaplain as well. 

God bless you, from my Mom and Father Mark .. and yes, even from me, because if my Mom's god does exist, it's a loving god who will bless you regardless of who asks, even if it's an atheist like me asking.  

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
7.1.1  author  magnoliaave  replied to  katrix @7.1    4 years ago

Absolutely lovely message.  Thank you.

All of my energy is concentrated on getting well.  I have my family and friends. 

I have a Rev. Matt who is the pastor at my church.  He is wonderful. 

Please thank your Mother and Rev. Mark.  And, I sincerely thank you.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
7.1.2  Enoch  replied to  katrix @7.1    4 years ago

Dear Friend Katrix: Your prayers will be particularly well received "upstairs".

To illustrate why let me share from Tales of the Chassidic Masters by Martin Buber.

In another century in Central Europe the more affluent members of a large Congregation pooled resources to contract the services of a world famous Cantor to conduct the vocal parts of High Holy Day Services. This Chazan's rendition of the Mystically powerful Hymn Kol Nidre made his version the talk of the Torah True World. 

The Day of Days (Yom Kippur) arrived.

People from all over the area, even neighboring municipalities came to services there just to hear him sing the Kol Nidre.

The gifted and Reverend Cantor did not disappoint.

That night, the President of the Congregation was so overjoyed that they were able to obtain the Services of such a personage for these most important proceedings that he made a prayer of request prior to resting for the night. He requested some sign that all the community did to make this a great day in the eyes of the L-rd had gone as well as he felt they had. 

In the dark hours of the night a Seraph came to him in a dream.  

The Divine messenger spoke of how the very foundations of the heavens were shaken by the singing of the Kol Nidre that dusk in that Congregation. 

Smiling in his sleep, the President of the Shul dream communicated how pleased all that sacrificed to engage the talents of this famous Cantor would be to hear this.

On no, no, no insisted the Seraph. I refer not to the professional musicologist. It is the one in tattered clothes and shoes with holes in them sitting in the back of the Congregation that moved the Holy One, Blessed Be.

Him, exclaimed the President. He is indigent. We let him in so he can be part of the services. Then we feed him when we break the fast of the holiday in our own home. He is a charity case. Not a globally celebrated Chazan.

That is as my be, communicated the Seraph. But he sang not with focus on his vocal mastery. The one in the back sung the prayer with such pure conviction and belief, that is what so moved the Source and all who serve Him on high.

You see, it isn't the person, or their situation that matters to G-d. It is the sincerity of the prayer that earns approval of the Master of the Universe (Ribbonah shel Oylom).

Never think that your prayers do not matter, or are not well received.

They are.

Yours most of all!

Peace and Abundant Blessings to You and Yours.

Enoch.    

 
 
 
katrix
Sophomore Guide
7.1.3  katrix  replied to  Enoch @7.1.2    4 years ago

What a wonderful illustration. 

Enoch, I wrote an article just for you a few minutes ago.  Mags, you might enjoy it as well. 

When we were asked to name people for specific prayers, I named three people - one close friend, one rather good acquaintance, and Mags.  

 
 
 
lib50
Professor Silent
8  lib50    4 years ago

My dear mags, I am so sorry you've been going through such a dire medical crisis, I can't even imagine, and I've been through some of my own stuff as you know.  I can't believe how bad this flu season was, I've been lucky but have known so many who have had flu, pneumonia, bronchitis and such multiple times, I've not seen anything like it for quite a few years. 

I totally understand how lack of energy makes one feel though. When I was undergoing my treatment I've never felt so low.  When you have no energy even listening to things (like news) makes it worse.  I remember laying in bed and fully understanding how people are just done living.  It wasn't that I wanted to go, I just didn't have enough in me to care.  If I died then I would have been fine with it, although when the energy came back (and it took a couple of years before I actually felt like my old self) I was back with the living.  And you will be too.  Its scary when our body doesn't do what its supposed to do, its hard to push out those thoughts of cooties in your body that are causing harm.   You have been through so much the last few years, I think those traumas cause breaches in our immune system.  Be careful with what you allow into your orbit  - good positive people, not too much news (hard for me, but you can tell how it sucks the life right out just hearing things), eat right, meditate (or learn to relax and do breathing exercises). I send you prayers and light.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
8.1  author  magnoliaave  replied to  lib50 @8    4 years ago

Hi lib:

My son said to me this morning....Mom, I don't believe you.  I said, what?  He said, just weeks ago in the ER they gave you no chance to live.  You are bathing yourself, walking....I told him I am not so great.  Those who are paralyzed and those who have no chance to recover are the ones.  He said, no, the doctors said your recovery would   be long and you may not. 

In re hab there was nothing but despair.  At home, my mind is on visualizing walking, cleaning house, being with grandchildren, cooking, etc.  I don't want strangers coming to my home.  I have such wonderful memories.  It is like watching re runs of my favorite movies.

I am glad you are alright.  You have been through a lot and survived. 

 
 
 
lib50
Professor Silent
8.1.1  lib50  replied to  magnoliaave @8.1    4 years ago

As have you (gone through so much).   I'm just happy you are back amongst the living and have a loving son and family to keep you going, and look forward to hearing about your recovery.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
8.2  Enoch  replied to  lib50 @8    4 years ago

Dear Friend Lib50: It is most pleasing to see how well you are doing.

Also that you are so sharing of positive and constructive recommendations to a fellow News Talker community member.

Well done.

We call your good works Gemillat Chassadim. Acts of loving kindness.

We need all of those we can get.

Thank you for your contribution.

Peace and Abundant Blessings to You and Yours Always,.

Enoch.

 
 
 
lib50
Professor Silent
8.2.1  lib50  replied to  Enoch @8.2    4 years ago

You have got the most positive loving energy and outlook of anybody I've seen, and I thank you for always bringing us up.  Blessings to you and yours as well.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
8.2.2  Enoch  replied to  lib50 @8.2.1    4 years ago

Dear Friend lib50: Most welcome.

Smiles.

E.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
9  sandy-2021492    4 years ago

I'm glad you pulled through, mag.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Participates
9.1  author  magnoliaave  replied to  sandy-2021492 @9    4 years ago

Thank you.

 
 

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