FOOD FIGHT!

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

By:  citizen-kane-473667  •  3 years ago  •  49 comments

FOOD FIGHT!
Lettuce have some pun!

Okay, I'm tired of all the hash slinging on the Politics and News page so I thought this would be a fun little contest. The rules are simple:

  1. Your pun MUST NOT be about Politics or Politicians. They aren't very punny anyway!
  2. FOOD and DRINK will get special merit because they can be so much harder to work in to a pun. It's hard so, butter nut squash the attempts even if they aren't all that great!
  3. If it makes you groan, its probably a terrible pun, but even those can be fun! It's not like we are getting paid a celery for our work here!
  4. While banana's have a lot of a peel, let's try to avoid the slippery slope they cause by getting hung up on one fruit. Or  vegantable.
  5. We'll let the crowd decide who gets their just desserts by giving Votes Up. Think of it as Thanks Giving for their efforts!

Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
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Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
2  author  Citizen Kane-473667    3 years ago

My wife wanted a big ring for our wedding so I got her this one:

5_carrot_ring_by_seaofcreations.png

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Guide
2.1  pat wilson  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @2    3 years ago

5 carrots, wow !

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  pat wilson @2.1    3 years ago

with emeralds!

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
2.1.2  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.1    3 years ago

Sounds kind of Lagasse

 
 
 
nightwalker
Sophomore Silent
2.2  nightwalker  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @2    3 years ago

OMG a vegan throwing star!!

BOY them ninja are tricky!

 
 
 
nightwalker
Sophomore Silent
2.2.1  nightwalker  replied to  nightwalker @2.2    3 years ago

256

A vegan extremist..

Who knew?

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
2.2.2  igknorantzrulz  replied to  nightwalker @2.2.1    3 years ago

looks like a used spoiling toupee

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
3  author  Citizen Kane-473667    3 years ago

Last night my son asked what was for dinner. I told him "Go Fish".

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
3.1  XXJefferson51  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @3    3 years ago

During the Cold War the Soviet Union tried to gobble up Turkey 🦃  🇹🇷 Greece 🇬🇷(grease)

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
3.1.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  XXJefferson51 @3.1    3 years ago
 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
3.1.2  XXJefferson51  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @3.1.1    3 years ago

As a Californian, I hope so!  

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
3.1.3  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  XXJefferson51 @3.1.2    3 years ago

Want me to send you some Cali-flower???

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
3.1.4  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  XXJefferson51 @3.1.2    3 years ago

Do you want some cheese on your Cali-flower?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
4  Perrie Halpern R.A.    3 years ago

It was an emotional wedding.

Even the cake was in tiers. 

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
4.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @4    3 years ago

Yeah, but no one was wining about it,

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
5  author  Citizen Kane-473667    3 years ago

Scrambled eggs look like a bunch of mixed up kids to me...

 
 
 
Release The Kraken
PhD Principal
5.1  Release The Kraken  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @5    3 years ago

Those are my huevos.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
5.1.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Release The Kraken @5.1    3 years ago

Gesundheit!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
6  igknorantzrulz    3 years ago

watts a pun, ?

Enlightenmeant for a properly ground faulted nun, whose flying aspirations were swallowed up, hole, buy A doe nut, sole low under a buck, with a nice rack hanging like a pear of orange ewe glad i wasn't eye in apples in a round about pie eyed fruity weigh stationed in a circular disco that served duck in a mobile home parked in a Field for Salley to land. Land she did, in lakes of buttered Korn , bred from aMazingly husky Indians meating with Army kernels, stalked like celery buy the tribe, sold by the stalk, smelling like Roses' freshly D Livered with unappealing layers of onions, with all bean mushed and mashed into a small room without a view on how to get that nun airborne for the 82nd time. They tried Smokey signals but the Bandit had vaporized. No one found Glea, not even his son.

N then,there again, their was

Nun,   in a field ,

where she tripped

n went flying head over h eels all electrifried deep into space, her final frontier.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
6.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  igknorantzrulz @6    3 years ago

I herd her fall was broken, but the saddle hurt like hell!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
6.1.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @6.1    3 years ago
herd her fall was broken

she got re enriched that Winner, as she would Spring back after taking that Fall, off of that saddle, butt, woodn't ewe, asz some, herr

included , learned that if seasoned properly, A

"Torrid Autumn" could be avoided.

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Guide
7  pat wilson    3 years ago

Hope this isn't political but I hope for whirled peas.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
7.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  pat wilson @7    3 years ago

Peas be unto you!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
8  igknorantzrulz    3 years ago

So far HA and Pat Wilson have my votes, as i'm self disqualified as i pretty much write these goofy things every damn day.

Would like to see some more, as i'm pretty sick of the politick shitck, as i believe most of USAll r as of late.

gotta make use of daylight right now   late

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Participates
9  Enoch    3 years ago

Two peanuts were walking down the street.

Suddenly, one of them was assaulted (a salted). 

Poem:

I eat my grits with honey.

Done so all my life.

It makes the grits taste funny.

But keeps them on my knife.

New Perfume fragrance.

Aroma like roasted horse.

Its called, "Eau de Doo Dah Day".

E.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
9.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Enoch @9    3 years ago

Sounds like a Camp Town Honey...

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Participates
9.1.1  Enoch  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @9.1    3 years ago

LOL.

Good one!

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Expert
9.1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @9.1.1    2 years ago

So good to see you again! jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
9.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Enoch @9    2 years ago

A man walks into a bar and sits down.  The bowl of peanuts told him he was handsome and looking very good.  A little freaked out, he asks the bartender "Whoa, what is with the peanuts?"  The bartender tell him "They are complimentary".

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Expert
9.2.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @9.2    2 years ago

That's a good one!! jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Expert
9.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @9    2 years ago

Perfect fit your great humor! jrSmiley_81_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
Masters Principal
10  Just Jim NC TttH    3 years ago

384

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
10.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Just Jim NC TttH @10    3 years ago

Hold on. The room is spinning. I need to get my beerings...

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
11  Ender    3 years ago

Interesting thread...

384

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
11.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Ender @11    3 years ago

You beet me to it!

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
12  author  Citizen Kane-473667    3 years ago

Where do the best jokes come from in a computer class?

JAVA script...

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
13  author  Citizen Kane-473667    3 years ago

If you are trying to cook dinner and it is just too much for you to handle all at once, what seasoning should you grab?

You could always add some Thyme,

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
14  author  Citizen Kane-473667    3 years ago

I'm feeling sort of melon-choly tonight...

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
14.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @14    3 years ago
melon-choly

don't think that water-dog is gonna hunt without some season-ing

 
 
 
It Is ME
Masters Principal
15  It Is ME    3 years ago

This is the sealiest thing I've ever read. jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

Does that Koalify ? jrSmiley_87_smiley_image.gif

Oh the Humanatee ! jrSmiley_97_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
16  cobaltblue    3 years ago

I've never sausage terrible puns. 
"I hate Mexican food" ... said no Juan ever.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
16.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  cobaltblue @16    3 years ago
've never sausage terrible puns.

yea, well show US your

LINK   ///?     or      PATTY ///?

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
16.1.1  cobaltblue  replied to  igknorantzrulz @16.1    3 years ago
yea, well show US your LINK   ///?     or      PATTY ///?

This scampi happening! I drank some food coloring yesterday. I feel like I dyed a little inside. 

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
16.1.2  igknorantzrulz  replied to  cobaltblue @16.1.1    3 years ago
scampi

oh it Ken, like Barbi with Kung Fu grip grabbin his noodle till El Dante's fire, spews out of Alfredo, too brave to harvest his own cream, of the crop he planted and sowed, as he stoked n stroked it till it trumped the other cards dealt, like a fir trader stripped while wearing stripes, dancing round polls till awarded the pol position with a checkered flag surrendering his checkered past time, till the final dance,

Lap made him come with heavy pants

too wet, and tiny, to be shrimp tossed salad

on a fat fckn high knee...

.

so, i'll go with patty n scamper on and get off my link, till he shoots white ink at calamari

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
Professor Guide
17  author  Citizen Kane-473667    3 years ago

I've been told the food sucks in jail. All this time I've been worried about Bubba...

What do you get when you grab a ham out of the freezer?  Pulled pork...

The Barista asked me "How can I help you". I told her "You can't. I have a latte problems".

What do you call yolk-free gluten-free pasta? An impasta!

Why did the fisherman quit fishing?  He pulled a mussel.

 
 
 
Nona62
Professor Silent
18  Nona62    3 years ago

Eat every carrot and pea on your plate...

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
18.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Nona62 @18    3 years ago

is that you Jenny...

plus, now you don't need to rinse before loading washer 

 
 

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