Meghan Trainor pooped beside her husband - and relationship experts say that's OK

  

Category:  News & Politics

Via:  sister-mary-agnes-ample-bottom  •  3 weeks ago  •  45 comments

By:   insider@insider.com (Kelly Burch) 3 hrs ago (MSN)

Meghan Trainor pooped beside her husband - and relationship experts say that's OK
Experts say what works for a couple might not work for another. But not being able to go to the bathroom alone might be a sign of unhealthy boundaries

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



  • Meghan Trainor said she had side-by-side toilets put in and occasionally pooped beside her husband.
  • Relationship experts say that can build intimacy for some couples.
  • In some cases, pooping together can be a sign of codependency, experts say.

Meghan Trainor shared that she had a very close relationship with her husband, Daryl Sabara: so close, in fact, that they poop together on occasion. While much has been made of Trainor's side-by-side toilets, she said having two thrones was a matter of convenience.

"We just got a new house, and we did construction - nobody knows this, but in our bathroom, there was one toilet," she said on the "Why Won't You Date Me?" podcast hosted by Nicole Byer. "A lot of times in the middle of the night when we're with the baby, we have to pee at the same time. So I was like, 'Can we please have two toilets next to each other?'"

Trainor's brother Ryan, who also appeared on the podcast, said his sister and Saraba had very loose boundaries.

"You guys are weirdos, bro," he said. "They poop together. She's pooping, and Daryl's like, 'I'm going to go hang out with you now.'"

Pooping together could kill - or ignite - sex appeal


Tammy Shaklee, the president of the matchmaking service H4M, said she knew of another couple that installed two toilets, with a bookshelf between them. When the couple shared the idea with Shaklee, she said she was horrified.

"I believe to maintain a sexy appeal for your partner, some alone time with Mother Nature's most unpleasant smells is necessary," she said. "There are some aspects of the functions of the human body that are best left unshared."

On the other hand, Leah Carey, a sex and intimacy coach, said deification and urination could be part of sexual play.

Trainor said in her case, she had pooped with her husband only two times because it "smells foul."

Sharing the bathroom might be a sign of trouble


Shaklee had another client who regularly insisted his partner talk to him while he pooped with the door open. That crossed a line, she said.

"If you can't even be alone for some private time while reading the newspaper or your device during your smelly, boisterous business, then you clearly should look at your attachment style needing some professional help and an adjustment," she said.

Nicole Moore, a relationship coach, agreed that pooping together might be a sign of unhealthy boundaries or enabling behavior.

"If the couple is using the toilet together because they cannot bear to be alone, then it's likely that they are overly dependent on each other for connection," Moore said.

Most people should feel comfortable and confident taking a few minutes to use the toilet without any involvement from their partner. Some people have an inner voice that is so critical that they never want to be alone. That could lead to someone asking their spouse to stay nearby, even in the bathroom. If that's the motivation, it's time to seek professional help, according to Moore.

What works for you works


Using the bathroom side by side, or with the door open, isn't going to cause a problem in an otherwise healthy relationship, Moore said.

"Every couple has different levels of comfort and intimacy and, ultimately, has to decide what's right for them," Moore said.

Couples that are together for a long time regularly let boundaries relax, Emily Mendez, a former therapist, said. Using the toilet together - especially during those middle-of-the-night wake-ups that Trainor mentioned - might not seem like a big deal after navigating the ups and downs of a relationship.

"Whether or not this is healthy depends on the couple," Mendez said. "If both people in the relationship are comfortable with it, then it is fine."

Things could become problematic if one partner has different boundaries than the other. In that case, it may be best to close the door.


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Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
1  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom    3 weeks ago

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @1    3 weeks ago

Well......at least they won't be fighting that he doesn't put the seat down. jrSmiley_72_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Raven Wing @1.1    2 weeks ago

Always looking on the bright side, our Raven!

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.2  CB   replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @1    2 weeks ago

What a mug. Worth every "insane" dollar he has ever made! (Top Smile.)

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Principal
2  MrFrost    3 weeks ago

#1, don't care, I can do that anyplace but #2? I need some privacy. 

 
 
 
Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
2.1  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom  replied to  MrFrost @2    3 weeks ago
I need some privacy. 

Me, too!!  Years ago, my mom was the worst about obtaining entry into any bathroom in the house that I happen to be using.  She would knock on the door, I would say, "Ocupado", and she would say, "It's only me!", and I would say "It's still ocupado!"   

 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
2.2  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @2    3 weeks ago

There are very few people, young or old, that I can share a bathroom with during their having a #2. Even my cat, who demands to share the bathroom with me, makes sure the door is open enough to get fresh air when I'm going #2. But, it does not keep her from insisting to sit in with me. jrSmiley_74_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
2.2.1  JBB  replied to  Raven Wing @2.2    3 weeks ago

It is called a "private function". Who wants to brush their teeth next to someone pooping?

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
2.2.2  Raven Wing  replied to  JBB @2.2.1    3 weeks ago

Ehhh.....I have to do that many mornings when my cat decides to do her morning elimination in her potty box which is in the bathroom. I live in a studio apt, so I only have one bathroom and there is no where else feasible to put her potty box but in the bathroom. And no matter what time I decide to brush my teeth, that is the time she gets the urge.  jrSmiley_78_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Dragon
Freshman Silent
2.2.3  Dragon  replied to  Raven Wing @2.2    2 weeks ago

My 2 cats have to be in the bathroom with me, except when I shower, they are afraid of the shower. If I don't let them in they whine outside the door and scratch at the door that is solid wood, to avoid scratch marks, they come in. 

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.2.4  CB   replied to  Raven Wing @2.2.2    2 weeks ago

How about "scheduling" her poops? Fake her out: Walk in the bathroom - grab the tooth brush and mimic brushing and when she enters and proceeds - walk out! (Problem solved!) Maybe?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.2.5  Trout Giggles  replied to  Dragon @2.2.3    2 weeks ago

I have one cat that likes to come in when I'm using the toilet and twine around my legs.

 
 
 
squiggy
Freshman Quiet
3  squiggy    3 weeks ago

Did they swap seats half-way through?

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Principal
3.1  MrFrost  replied to  squiggy @3    3 weeks ago

Maybe sharing dingleberry hair is a step too far for them? 

 
 
 
Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
3.2  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom  replied to  squiggy @3    3 weeks ago
Did they swap seats half-way through?

I don't know about that, but I'm just trying to figure out why one just doesn't go down the hall to another bathroom.  For crying out loud, they can chit-chat on their cell phones if what they have to say (while they are both backing one out) is so important.

 
 
 
r.t..b...
PhD Participates
3.3  r.t..b...  replied to  squiggy @3    2 weeks ago

“Did they swap seats half-way through?”

…a warm seat is always nice. 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
4  Perrie Halpern R.A.    3 weeks ago

Now don't laugh, but many years ago, in my yoot, I had an architect boyfriend who had a mobster client whose name will not be mentioned since I do like living. He put in a figure 8 side-by-side potty put into their master bedroom because they said it kept them in love and they could share the Sunday paper. So this is not as shocking to me as it should be, since I was shocked already.

 
 
 
Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
4.1  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @4    3 weeks ago

...since I was shocked already.

Hahahahahaha!!!!!

And yoot...I loved that movie!

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @4.1    3 weeks ago

OMG....that reminds me of when I was 16, and my then boyfriend had a Cousin who talked with a dialect like that only much faster, and my being from the South and used to slow talkers made it very hard for me to keep up with them, or even understand what they were saying. I would just smile and shake my head up or down when I thought it was proper. Then after his Cousin left I would ask him what his Cousin said, then he would give me a quick summery. jrSmiley_78_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
4.1.2  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom  replied to  Raven Wing @4.1.1    3 weeks ago

That's hilarious.  I can picture you doing that...hands folded demurely in your lap, smiling and nodding when (you hope) it's appropriate.  

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
4.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @4.1.2    3 weeks ago

I was never sure if my head shaking was right or not, but, she never questioned me. But, at the time, she got more words out in an hour than I could all day. I really don't know what she thought of me, but, she was always very polite and just smiled.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5  Kavika     3 weeks ago

I would say ''holy crap'' but that would be redundant. 

This is known as a ''two holer'' for those that can't afford a second bathroom, or that are dirt poor. 

cross-creek-old-outhouse-with-his-hers-toilet-seats-CCF20F.jpg

 
 
 
Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
5.1  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom  replied to  Kavika @5    3 weeks ago

Am I the only one that can smell that from here?

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
5.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @5.1    3 weeks ago

No. And I remember very vividly how one of those smells. My Great-Grandmother had an outhouse we had to use, and I remember that I almost fell in the hole when I tried to use it by myself. Luckily my older brother was standing just outside the door and heard me yelling for help. If he had not be there no telling what might have happened to me. jrSmiley_55_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
6  JBB    3 weeks ago

original

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
6.1  Raven Wing  replied to  JBB @6    3 weeks ago

Is that what they call a 2fer? How does it flush?

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.1.1  CB   replied to  Raven Wing @6.1    2 weeks ago

Several years ago, I was watching SPARTACUS on Starz and they had a scene where to 'senators' were having a discussion on a public outing and they both went to 'potty' beside each other in public with an attendant there. The scene was so intense that the actors actually simulated wiping themselves while delivering their lines on camera. Gave a coin each to the attendant and continued on their way. I was 'scandalized' right then and there!

 
 
 
Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
6.2  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom  replied to  JBB @6    3 weeks ago

I think that's the kind Perrie described.  As lovely as it is, there would be no way my...efforts...would be successful with someone else in the room.  I don't even care for public restrooms that have individual stalls.  My stage fright knows no bounds.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
6.2.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @6.2    3 weeks ago

That is exactly how it looked! When I saw it at the house opening I almost passed out from laughter.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.2.2  CB   replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @6.2    3 weeks ago

And I hate 'toilet humor.' Just imagine the kissing and germs that much transit in the 'perfume' of that intimate setting! A symphony of 'delights'—nope! (Gasp: Did I just make 'humor'?)

 
 
 
Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
6.2.3  seeder  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom  replied to  CB @6.2.2    2 weeks ago
(Gasp: Did I just make 'humor'?)

Yes, you did, and you can't deny it.  It reminded me of those poo-spray commercials that were so hilarious several years ago.  I can't think of the name of the product right this minute, but those commercials were a hoot.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.2.4  CB   replied to  Sister Moosh Noosh Ample Bottom @6.2.3    2 weeks ago

Stink Free Guarantee - PooPourri.com

Awwwriiiighttty then, I have become video 'maitre d.'  (Chuckles.)

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Principal
6.3  MrFrost  replied to  JBB @6    2 weeks ago

I suppose a couple, positioned properly, could make out while they pooped. 

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
7  CB     3 weeks ago

You all may remember the love of my life who transitioned after a motorcycle-van accident. Something I have never mentioned is this: He used to want to come into the bathroom with me during my 'business' to brush his teeth or groom his hair. I even thought about letting him do it, but then I couldn't do it! Momma didn't raise me to forget all home-training and #2 is is personal and lonely by design.

This story is the first I have heard of others even considering such an activity, besides him. Oh, and compelling as he was that he could handle the scene, I gathered the strength (and voice) to say, "NO. You go do your hair and teeth, and I will come after." Some modesty makes us less 'beastly.'

After all these years, I am still glad we did not even start that one thing. Of course, I would 'do' anything to have him back in my life these days!

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Expert
8  al Jizzerror    3 weeks ago

Here's a shitty commercial:

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
8.1  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @8    2 weeks ago

Uh-huh. I knew there would be some kissing involved in this "shitty" deal.  Nowadays, SARS-Covid-2 has caused many of us to learn that the 'fragrance' from our bowl/s that reaches our noses could be or actually is a germ of some kind. So careful in public toilets (when I hear the sound of a flush) now and evermore!

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Senior Silent
9  SteevieGee    2 weeks ago

Uh... Meghan?  That other one is a bidet.

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Principal
9.1  MrFrost  replied to  SteevieGee @9    2 weeks ago

Uh... Meghan?  That other one is a bidet.

Bidet, in redneck means, "place to rinse mouth after brushing your tooth". 
 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
10  Trout Giggles    2 weeks ago

I can pee in front of my husband and he can pee in front of me...but number 2 is definitely a lone job

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
10.1  CB   replied to  Trout Giggles @10    2 weeks ago

Yes. If sounds and 'fury' are acceptable, and that is a big IF, dirty toilet paper ("the wipe") is a bridge too far. We ain't making discussion over sizes, shapes, and particles viewable to the naked eye. (Girl, I got to stop: I am doing toilet humor and I hate myself for it!)

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Principal
10.2  MrFrost  replied to  Trout Giggles @10    2 weeks ago

I can pee in front of my husband and he can pee in front of me...but number 2 is definitely a lone job

Same. But then I have peed out the window of a car while going down the freeway. 

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
10.2.1  CB   replied to  MrFrost @10.2    2 weeks ago

HA!

Is that even worse than a friend of mine whom I had to 'read' about "harking" spit out my passenger side window in the wind?

Oh my! You just gave me a horrible visual of people "spraying" poop out of car windows at high speed. (I hope that never ever happens. But now that it has been thought up. . . . Mr. Frost! What have you wrought?!)

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
11  CB     2 weeks ago
On the other hand, Leah Carey, a sex and intimacy coach, said deification and urination could be part of sexual play.

Coprophilia and Omorashi!  No ma'am and no sir!

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Expert
11.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  CB @11    2 weeks ago

256

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
12  Ender    2 weeks ago

Did anyone say it yet?

I guess Megan's husband really gets to hear her drop that base...

 
 
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