Your new Glenn Youngkin-approved AP English curriculum!

  

Category:  Op/Ed

Via:  hallux  •  one month ago  •  64 comments

By:   Alexandra Petri - WaPo

Your new Glenn Youngkin-approved AP English curriculum!

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T






Hello, everyone! We’re going to have a great year! Some minor, barely noticeable adjustments to the curriculum have taken place since Glenn Youngkin took office. This is a college-level class in which we’re supposed to be tackling challenging material. But you may remember the Glenn Youngkin commercial starring the mother who was   trying to stop “Beloved”   from being taught in her senior son’s AP English class on the grounds that he thought it was “disgusting and gross” and “gave up on it." Anyway, he supported that kind of parental control over the curriculum, so we’ve had to tweak just a couple of things!





Below please find our reading list  new and improved reading list after being forced to bend to every concern from a parent:



“The Odyssey”   mutilation and abuse of alcohol, blood drinking




Brideshead Revisited”  not sure what’s going on with that teddy bear; house named after something that should be saved for marriage




“The Handmaid’s Tale"   everything about book was fine except its classification as ‘dystopia’





“The Catcher in the Rye”   anti-Ronald Reagan somehow though we’re not sure how





“The Importance of Being Earnest”   includes a disturbing scene where a baby is abandoned in a train station in a handbag and the people in the play regard this as the subject of mirth





“Candide”   buttock cannibalism



“Don Quixote”   makes fun of somebody for attacking a wind-or-solar-based energy source





“Great Expectations”   convict presented sympathetically




“Les Miserables”  see above



“King Lear”   violence and it’s suggested that there are scenarios where parents actually do not know best





“The Sun Also Rises”   offensive to flat-Earthers





“Death of a Salesman”   features a White man to whom attention is not paid





Okay, well, I’m sure there are still some books we can agree on even if they aren’t at the college level! We can probably extricate meaning from these.



“Charlotte’s Web”   valorizes someone who uses her hindquarters to communicate





“Matilda”   suggests that the tyranny of school administrators can create a stultifying environment for their children





“Harold and the Purple Crayon”   contains The Color Purple which we have been told is bad




“Clifford the Big Red Dog”  communist???



“The Snowy Day”   several concerns, most to do with CRT





“The Very Hungry Caterpillar”   this gave my son a nightmare





Nope, sorry, we aren’t reading anymore. A parent complained that the books on the reading list transported them to different times and places against their will and forced them to imagine the lives of people different than themselves. This is like kidnapping and probably also brainwashing, and we can’t possibly read any texts that do this.

We’re looking forward to  engaging with complex, challenging texts that will teach us to read critically, write compellingly and look at the world with new eyes  sitting here staring at the wall thinking about what it might have been like to read books all semester long!










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Hallux
Sophomore Principal
1  seeder  Hallux    one month ago

If you are lost, it is possible your fave 24-7 news channel did not carry this story.

BTW, definitely take a pass on Matthew Sturgis' new biography of Oscar Wilde, it's chock full of Victorian bumfuckery ... wink, wink!

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Hallux @1    one month ago

WAsn't that a book report here on NT?

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
1.1.1  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1    one month ago

The biography? Yes.

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2  Split Personality  replied to  Hallux @1    one month ago

LOL, this should be in a satire 'nation', lol.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Silent
1.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Hallux @1    one month ago

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn...racist language

To Kill a Mockingbird...racial slurs and their negative effect on students, featuring a “white savior” 

Of Mice and Men...racial slurs and racist stereotypes, and their negative effect on students

The Holy Bible...religious viewpoint

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe...religious viewpoint

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.3.1  CB   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.3    one month ago

Oh my goodness, speaking of a 'blast from the past' it's Drinker in the Wry!  Well sir (or ma'am) tell me, how has your perspective improved or enhanced itself since this long hiatus?

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Silent
1.3.2  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @1.3.1    one month ago

The one and the same. My perspective has been changed by the growing fissures in our society, the disaster of the Trump presidency and a long fight with Stage 4 Cancer of the Appendix.  I never had to give much thought to the medical profession or how it's paid for.  I'm a big convert now to some form of medical care for all.   

It's good to be back and see some of us old News Viners and Huffington Post Refugees. 

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.3.3  CB   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.3.2    one month ago

Amazing. And welcome back—with improvements and enhancements intact. (Smile.)

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
1.4  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Hallux @1    one month ago

The ad in question:

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.4.1  CB   replied to  Hallux @1.4    one month ago

Workers of deceit (in advertising). Mustn't ever get "bright red faces"! But, lying about elections and "happy slaves" is quite "pinkish" don't you know.  God that music is 'tragic' (McAuliffe) and then with a chord and cymbal, it is uplifting and brave (Youngkin); manipulate much?

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
1.4.2  sandy-2021492  replied to  Hallux @1.4    one month ago

Now, I haven't researched this, but I saw on Facebook that the book she's complaining about was "Beloved" by Toni Morrison, and that it was assigned reading for an AP English class.  AP classes are supposed to be college level.  Nobody is going to protect your tender feelings in college.  If you want to take a college-level literature course, you'd better be ready to read about some sex and violence. 

And no, that's not just in modern literature.  The ancient Greeks were a randy bunch.  Their gods were always impregnating human women, which is how Hercules and Perseus came about (so say the myths, anyway).  Shakespeare didn't mind a sex joke now and then, nor did he mind a rape joke.

If your kids aren't ready to read about this, maybe keep them out of college-level courses.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.4.3  Ender  replied to  Hallux @1.4    one month ago

So she actually thinks that every parent should get to pick out their own books for their kids...

Yeah, that would work out great...

 
 
 
Sparty On
PhD Principal
1.5  Sparty On  replied to  Hallux @1    one month ago

Hmmmm maybe 1984 will make it back on the list again since it is no longer fiction.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2  Trout Giggles    one month ago

Henry and Ribsy....animal abuse

Of Mice and Men....more animal abuse

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3  Kavika     one month ago
“Death of a Salesman”features a White man to whom attention is not paid

LOL, need I name a few?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4  Trout Giggles    one month ago

"MacBeth"....witches!!!!!!!!!!

"Romeo and Juliet"....underage sex!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4.1  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @4    one month ago

We actually watched the Romeo and Juliet movie in class in high school.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @4.1    one month ago

So did we! In Freshman English and we got to go to a movie theater to see it

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4.1.2  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @4.1.1    one month ago

You were lucky. We had to sit in class and watch in on a small tv that was wheeled in.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @4.1.2    one month ago

Awww.....it was a county thing. I think every high school in the county taught R & J in Freshman English and a movie theater opened up a a few times during the middle of the week to accommodate all the students. Small county filled with small high schools

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5  Trout Giggles    one month ago

Brave New World....actually that one is allowed, but we're edit out the parts where somebody thinks for himself

 
 
 
Veronica
Senior Guide
6  Veronica    one month ago

“The Catcher in the Rye”   anti-Ronald Reagan somehow though we’re not sure how

Plus the "F-word"  So bad......

Have to remove "To Kill A Mockingbird" because it shows that a black man cannot get a fair trial and that he didn't commit the crime - we all know that the father couldn't have hit the girl - he was white.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
6.1  Ender  replied to  Veronica @6    one month ago

What was the one with the big stupid friend that killed someone.

 
 
 
Veronica
Senior Guide
6.1.1  Veronica  replied to  Ender @6.1    one month ago

"Of Mice & Men".

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
6.1.2  Ender  replied to  Veronica @6.1.1    one month ago

Ah thanks. I couldn't remember. I just remember bits and pieces of that.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @6.1    one month ago

Good book!

I had a cat that was a mole terrorist. He would play with them until they died. We named him George but should have called him Lenny

 
 
 
Veronica
Senior Guide
7  Veronica    one month ago

"The Scarlet Letter" for several reasons - paints the harlot in a sympathetic light & hell's bells a preacher fathered a child out of wedlock - that just does not happen.

 
 
 
Veronica
Senior Guide
8  Veronica    one month ago

Anything from Mark Twain - cuz well he changed his name - what is he hiding?

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
8.1  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Veronica @8    one month ago

Anything by Ayn Rand ... she was a pro-abortion atheist.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
8.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Hallux @8.1    one month ago

I didn't know she was pro-abortion! OMG....someone might have to find a new fantasy woman

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
8.1.2  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Trout Giggles @8.1.1    one month ago

 
 
 
Veronica
Senior Guide
8.1.3  Veronica  replied to  Trout Giggles @8.1.1    one month ago

Someone should tell him.

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
8.1.4  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Veronica @8.1.3    one month ago

Why? Ignorance is bliss.

 
 
 
Veronica
Senior Guide
8.1.5  Veronica  replied to  Hallux @8.1.4    one month ago

Just to bust balls...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
9  Trout Giggles    one month ago

The Stranger and The Plague...nothing but furriners

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
10  Split Personality    one month ago

Catch 22 - any reason will do.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
11  Ender    one month ago

Tom Sawyer...

Or is that Huck Finn. Now I am confusing myself...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
12  Trout Giggles    one month ago

Roots!....Nothin' but Critical Race Theory!!!!!!!!!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
13  Kavika     one month ago

Victor/Victoria, just too damn many impersonators.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
14  Buzz of the Orient    one month ago

Pride and Prejudice - pre-marital sex (Lydia and Wickham).

A Tale of Two Cities - fraud (Sidney Carton pretends he's French aristocracy)

Anything by Shakespeare - archaic use of the English language which is too difficult for students to understand which leads to feelings of inadequacy and depression.  Actually spells many words differently than the proper American way leading to confusion. 

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
14.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @14    one month ago

Now that I think of it, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare were all British, so everything they wrote would have used British English (which all Commonwealth member countries use) so everything they wrote has to be banned in order to not confuse simple minds. 

 
 
 
shona1
Sophomore Participates
15  shona1    one month ago

Evening Buzz...yes we can write a cheque when we go to the medical centre that is located by the harbour. The entrance near the footpath is a nice red colour so when the mums arrive that are going into labour don't have to walk anymore metres than they have too. The cars pull up and the car tyres can go right in the gutter...that kind of British/Aussie English??.

Yes my computer and mobile phone had complete melt downs over it, but both have been retrained to use "Aussie English"..the American spelling looks odd to me, but I guess they think the same about ours... 🐨🇦🇺🇨🇦🇺🇲

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
15.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  shona1 @15    one month ago

The problem in Canada, being right next to the USA is there there is a mix, because when travelling to the USA using gas in our cars that run on tires and our belongings are in the trunk the cars have to have dual numbers on the speedometer, miles and kilometers, and the funny thing is that when Americans drive in Canada they get speeding tickets because when the sign reads 100 kmh they think it means 100 mph.  You know, it's got to be "The American Way" because they're "exceptional" and we aren't,

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
15.1.1  sandy-2021492  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @15.1    one month ago

I got marked down a bit on an essay one time because I had been reading a lot of Jane Austen, and didn't even realized I'd included the "u" in "honour".  

 
 
 
shona1
Sophomore Participates
15.1.2  shona1  replied to  sandy-2021492 @15.1.1    one month ago

Evening Sandy... that's abit harsh...would have appealed that one..

Would be interesting to know why/ when the "U" got dropped...will have to google that one...

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
15.1.3  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  sandy-2021492 @15.1.1    one month ago

My grade 11 English teacher marked me down on my book report on Pride & Prejudice because I went against the grain with it, yet reading that novel is what caused me to major in English Literature in university. 

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
15.1.4  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  shona1 @15.1.2    one month ago

I taught English for my first 6 years here at a private high school, and both versions of English were considered acceptable because there were both American and Commonwealth teachers.

I think Webster is the person who simplified the English language for Americans. dropping the "u", changing the double "l" to a single one before the "ing" endings, changing words ending in "re" to "er" for certain words (center rather than centre), etc.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
15.1.5  Ender  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @15.1.4    one month ago

I spell certain words some would consider wrong.

I always spelled theartre as such, colour as such, etc.

Every time the spellcheck says it is wrong.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
15.1.6  Ender  replied to  sandy-2021492 @15.1.1    one month ago

I have always spelled it that way.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
15.1.7  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Ender @15.1.5    one month ago

My English as against American spelling gets red-lined on my computer all the time.

 
 
 
shona1
Sophomore Participates
16  shona1    one month ago

Crikey....100mph talk about low flying...yes must be a tad difficult. Just as well both countries drive on the wrong side of the road, otherwise that could be real chaos when crossing the border...

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
16.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  shona1 @16    one month ago

I didn't have any trouble driving in England and Wales until I came to a roundabout.

 
 
 
shona1
Sophomore Participates
16.1.1  shona1  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @16.1    one month ago

LOL..you will have the same problem here too....

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
16.1.2  sandy-2021492  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @16.1    one month ago

I think roundabouts are great, until they get up to like 6 lanes or so.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
16.1.3  Tessylo  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @16.1    one month ago

This wasn't a great movie IMO but this scene was pretty funny.  

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
16.1.4  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  sandy-2021492 @16.1.2    one month ago

That's what I meant, because that's exactly what I faced in England, with divided highways meeting at the roundabout.  Try negotiating that when you're driving on the other side of the road than you're used to.  I must have gone around the circle 5 times before I could figure out where to go.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
16.1.5  sandy-2021492  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @16.1.4    one month ago

My sis and I went through the same roundabout in Cork an embarrassing number of times.

 
 
 
Sparty On
PhD Principal
17  Sparty On    one month ago

Nice, so this is a nationally approved hive tactic to attack Younkin in an attempt to MMGA, (make McAuliffe great again.)

Pretty sad.  

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
17.1  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Sparty On @17    one month ago

To whoever flagged this comment, please do not do so on my seeds, allow idiocy to have its pedestal.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
17.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Hallux @17.1    one month ago

sorry won't happen again

 
 
 
Sparty On
PhD Principal
17.1.2  Sparty On  replied to  Hallux @17.1    one month ago

Lol .... on more than one level .....

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
17.1.3  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Sparty On @17.1.2    one month ago

So far, just yours.

 
 
 
Sparty On
PhD Principal
17.1.4  Sparty On  replied to  Hallux @17.1.3    one month ago

Ya you betcha, you stick to that story eh.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
18  Paula Bartholomew    one month ago

“Charlotte’s Web”   valorizes someone who uses her hindquarters to communicate

That is rich considering that Youngkin continually talks out of his ass.

 
 
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