Biden Sells Alaska Back To Russia So We Can Start Drilling For Oil There Again | The Babylon Bee
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
ANCHORAGE, AK—The deliberate and premeditated invasion of Ukraine by brutal dictator Vladimir Putin has forced the US to reassess the importance of energy independence. With this new resolve, the Biden Administration has taken its first step toward increasing oil production for Americans by selling Alaska back to Russia so we can start drilling for oil there again.
"Folks, nobody wants to ruin America's beautiful Alaskan wilderness with oil trucks and drilling rigs, come on!" said President Biden in response to questions he thought were coming from a house plant in the West Wing. "But I've never had a problem getting oil from Russia, so there you go, go get him."
Jen Psaki praised Biden's brilliance in finding a solution that would prevent an energy crisis while also preventing new drilling on American land. She pointed out succinctly to journalists, "You see, it's not American land anymore; it's Russian land."
Politicians on both sides of the political aisle criticized Biden for selling Alaska without giving them enough time to sneak friends and family onto the boards of newly-relevant Russian oil companies. They also voiced concern that the negotiator handling both the Alaska sale as well as managing drilling permits was Hunter Biden and not their own children.
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Why you all think every pristine land has to be exploited I don't know.
And before you start, yes I know this is suppose to be satire...
The resources are where the resources are….. crazy, I know, but that’s how it works. Sorry
No, your not.
Where I'm from being sorry isn't a good thing.
Sloop John B?
Sorry. I heard that today and it stuck in my head.
Gotcha
Earworm?
The groove is in the heart...
Why you think it is better to beholden to every dictator on the planet for energy is beyond me. Most of those said dictators take US money and then turn around and use it against us.
Let's look at Biden's oil begging list.
But what could go wrong?/S
Saudi Arabia-
Who cares? They. like many others play politics and court the Russians or the Chinese to piss off the USA and then do the same to China and Putin.
And where is that money that he built up over 4 Administrations? Fucking frozen by Biden and our allies.
Go fish.
R U fucking kidding? You. like Trump, just want to "take it"?
So given the lesser of two evils that can provide 500,000 barrels ( 3%) of our needs would you rather deal with a
narcissist in South America who has no nukes and is holding 6 Citgo execs hostage since 2017
(that Trump did squat about )
or a narcissist with over 6,200 nukes (if they actually work) in Russia who wants to bully and blackmail the world.
Or just order all of the idle pumpjacks across the USA to be turned on? ( that would be unconstitutional, )
Jesus another one that can't get the simple damn logic! If you depend on oil from dictators- you get what you deserve.
Ignoring 9/11 again I see. They don't like us. They don't like our way of life. If it wasn't for our weapons (which they want); our money (which they really want); and the fact we can end their existence (which they are scared shitless of); they wouldn't give a fuck about us.
So it isn't in Russia? And Putin is just moving oil to the US and Europe out of the kindness of his heart. Try again. The US and Europe can only freeze assets outside of Russia; not in it. The second we stop paying for Russian oil; and the money doesn't reach Putin- those tankers will be turned around and sent home.
Where the fuck did you get that from? "God, let's fight a war over oil." what are you the French or British pissed off that Libya didn't give you oil development contracts? We keep Iran completely cut off. Sanctions in place so they can't fucking sell their oil anywhere. No money means their nuclear program is stuck in neutral. No aid to the damn enemy. Iran is state sponsor of terrorism. There fucking militias attacked and killed our troops in Iraq- that is going back to the Bush Jr years. Is Biden so damn desperate that he is willing to fund that?
Damn, when it comes to outlandish comments you take the damn cake. At least you got your "But Trruuummmmppppp!!!!!!" fix in. I don't want to deal with any dictators for oil or gas. We have more than enough resources in the US. But no one seems to want to answer the damn question "With the price of a barrel of oil at $125 and climbing; why aren't US companies restarting old wells, or tapping new ones? What regulations or costs are there involved that are keeping them waiting?". Or is that too damn painful of thing to find out because it might lead directly back to the human fuck up machine currently in the White House and the actions he has taken since he entered office?
I am absolutely thrilled that you think my comments are annoying.
That's probably exactly like I feel reading your comments of partisan BS.
One thing I can agree on. There are idle pumpjacks all over my part of TX and I haven't seen more than
three running in three years.
That needs to change, but in TX we take liberty seriously and if the owners don't want to pump
they ain't gonna pump. No reason necessary.
That’s curious.
You must because you keep making them.
Pot meet kettle. You are way in the lead of partisan BS by claiming things I never stated. Like going to war with Iran. Damn what a fucking idiotic comment that was. There are only two options dropping sanctions on Iran so they can get nukes and we get to buy their oil; or going to war with them to get their oil. Keeping the status quo isn't an option?
If we had a real leader; instead of a human fuck up machine; he might meet and talk with US oil producers to find out why they aren't increasing production- even with prices topping $125 a barrel. Of course he might not like the answers they give; as they would conflict with the promises he is keeping to the far left radicals in his party. Instead all Biden is doing is running to media and blaming US oil companies for price gouging. That is sure the get them to start pumping./S
You still talking?
I hate to think that this is your only "hobby".
Perhaps you can explain or point out where I ever said any such thing.
Then again,
don't bother,
shingles doesn't care.
Wow. It's satire people. Lighten up.
Satire is supposed to be funny.
Not always...............
Satire is supposed to be funny.
And it is for those who understand it. That may be your issue.
How moronic. What's to understand about such a moronic excuse for satire.
Ya think?
Call one of your friends and have them explain it. Maybe they can help you.
A sense of humor is required to truly get satire.