'Never Has America Faced A Greater Threat Than Donald Trump,' Says Guy Who Started Two Wars And Shot A Dude In The Face
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
WILSON, WY — Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who famously started two wars in the Middle East and shot a dude in the face while hunting, now says Donald Trump is the greatest threat America has ever faced.
"Donald Trump is an evil reprobate and a big meanie, and a danger to our Constitutional rights," growled the retired politician who orchestrated the brutal torture of hundreds of detainees who were held without trial. "We must make sure he never gets elected to office again. And also, vote for my daughter, Liz."
Political consultants applauded Liz Cheney for her brilliant move of tapping on of the most hated politicians in history to help boost her political chances. Initial polling indicates her approval has climbed .0000002 percentage points since Dick Cheney's statement.
"If there's a singular figure universally adored by every hard-working American, it's Dick Cheney," said a spokesperson for the campaign. "We are grateful for his endorsement, and look forward to seeing her represent the citizens of Wyoming."
Trump was quick to respond to Cheney's statement, saying "Poor little Dick Cheney! He's so mad that I got elected president instead of him. Boo hoo! Maybe he should stop shooting dudes in the face! Sorry, Dick!"
At publishing time, Liz Cheney's approval dipped again after her Dad accidentally shot another dude in the face.
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I'm enjoying the latest installment of the GOP civil war. so when do the AR's come out? I'm guessing after the midterms, since every vote counts. /s
Cheap thrills are among the best.
I don’t know, the expensive ones are pretty damn good if you can afford them.
I was assuming that devangelical can’t..
Probably a good assumption.
So... Trump's worse than the worst person in the world.
Wouldn't that technically make him the worst person in the world?
Darth Cheney has a lot of balls talking shit, he needs to crawl back in his hole.
As in Jackson Hole, where is lives when he's not in McLean, VA.
Only in TDS wet dreams.
There has been a deluge of pathetic satire seeded here from the Babylon Bee, but this one might be the worst yet. I agree with
[Deleted]
I can only try...
You're failing constantly.
None of these are funny
Deluge? I find that humorous, considering the source. Thank you...
Since you keep seeding Babylon Bee I would have to wonder about your sense of humor.
As you and several others have.. and then and then?
“…have to wonder…”
We could probably set you up a GoFundMe page if you want the surgery.
Those Eastern Kentuckians that saw 8-10 inches of rain in 24 hours saw a deluge, hope yo've done better with yours than they did with theirs.
Yeah, not everyone is blessed enough to be able to not only understand satire, but to appreciate it.
I wonder how many more people will display that they can do neither?
If Lord Voldemort himself tells you to watch out for 'that guy' because of how evil they are, I would likely give him the benefit of the doubt.
Personally that would make me want to keep an eye on Lord Voldermort as well but.....yeah.
Democrats must be desperate to be siding with Dick.
Liz is definitely her father's daughter. Complete with delusions of grandeur; and an obsession with having a power she will never obtain.
Wonder if their is another Bush out there looking capable of winning puppet presidency for Liz to rule over?
And tell me that you didn't vote for Bush over Al Gore or John Kerry.
Man he looks like shit. That aside, Dick Cheney is the last person on Earth who should be making statements like the ones he gave. I read some of them earlier and my first thought was "oh, he is finally coming to terms with what he did as VP?"
Dick is just pissed the TDS have given Trump his title of "Greatest threat to America".
Liz is hoping to pick up her father's mantle and run with it. So far she is off to an excellent start. She has sold out whatever morals; the law; and all integrity in her "get Trump at all costs" gambit.
Looking for another Bush capable of winning the presidency and being her puppet is her next step.
Please reference 4.2.1
And how many heart attacks has he had ? i can think of at least 5 going back to the 80s .
( I know , most people would say Dick doesnt and never had a heart to begin with )
The best satire has a component of believability. This one is very believable since his daughter is the lead cheerleader for the Republican establishment, never Trumper movement.
Very believable.
Ummm... It's true.
Who's going to believe Dick Cheney?
I saw that after I posted. The “satire” tag threw me off but as noted, It was very believable for the reasons mentioned.
Only when he’s bagging on Trump .....
IDK? All the people who voted for Dubbya?
I can understand that.