'Never Has America Faced A Greater Threat Than Donald Trump,' Says Guy Who Started Two Wars And Shot A Dude In The Face

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  5 days ago  •  36 comments

'Never Has America Faced A Greater Threat Than Donald Trump,' Says Guy Who Started Two Wars And Shot A Dude In The Face
WILSON, WY — Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who famously started two wars in the Middle East and shot a dude in the face while hunting, now says Donald Trump is the greatest threat America has ever faced

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



WILSON, WY — Former Vice President Dick Cheney, who famously started two wars in the Middle East and shot a dude in the face while hunting, now says Donald Trump is the greatest threat America has ever faced.

"Donald Trump is an evil reprobate and a big meanie, and a danger to our Constitutional rights," growled the retired politician who orchestrated the brutal torture of hundreds of detainees who were held without trial. "We must make sure he never gets elected to office again. And also, vote for my daughter, Liz."

Political consultants applauded Liz Cheney for her brilliant move of tapping on of the most hated politicians in history to help boost her political chances. Initial polling indicates her approval has climbed .0000002 percentage points since Dick Cheney's statement.

"If there's a singular figure universally adored by every hard-working American, it's Dick Cheney," said a spokesperson for the campaign. "We are grateful for his endorsement, and look forward to seeing her represent the citizens of Wyoming."

Trump was quick to respond to Cheney's statement, saying "Poor little Dick Cheney! He's so mad that I got elected president instead of him. Boo hoo! Maybe he should stop shooting dudes in the face! Sorry, Dick!"

At publishing time, Liz Cheney's approval dipped again after her Dad accidentally shot another dude in the face.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    5 days ago

512

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1  devangelical  replied to  GregTx @1    4 days ago

I'm enjoying the latest installment of the GOP civil war. so when do the AR's come out? I'm guessing after the midterms, since every vote counts. /s

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
1.1.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  devangelical @1.1    4 days ago

Cheap thrills are among the best.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
1.1.2  Sparty On  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.1.1    4 days ago

I don’t know, the expensive ones are pretty damn good if you can afford them.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
1.1.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Sparty On @1.1.2    4 days ago

I was assuming that devangelical can’t..

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
1.1.4  Sparty On  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.1.3    3 days ago

Probably a good assumption.

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Senior Silent
2  SteevieGee    5 days ago

So...  Trump's worse than the worst person in the world. 

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
2.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  SteevieGee @2    5 days ago

Wouldn't that technically make him the worst person in the world?

 
 
 
zuksam
Junior Silent
2.1.1  zuksam  replied to  GregTx @2.1    3 days ago

Darth Cheney has a lot of balls talking shit, he needs to crawl back in his hole.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
2.1.2  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  zuksam @2.1.1    3 days ago
he needs to crawl back in his hole

As in Jackson Hole, where is lives when he's not in McLean, VA.

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
2.2  Ronin2  replied to  SteevieGee @2    4 days ago

Only in TDS wet dreams.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
3  JohnRussell    5 days ago

There has been a deluge of pathetic satire seeded here from the Babylon Bee, but this one might be the worst yet. I agree with

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
3.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JohnRussell @3    5 days ago

[Deleted]

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
3.1.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.1    5 days ago

I can only try...

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.1.2  Tessylo  replied to  GregTx @3.1.1    3 days ago

You're failing constantly.

None of these are funny

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
3.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @3    5 days ago

Deluge? I find that humorous, considering the source. Thank you...

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
3.2.1  JohnRussell  replied to  GregTx @3.2    5 days ago

Since you keep seeding Babylon Bee I would have to wonder about your sense of humor. 

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
3.2.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @3.2.1    5 days ago

As you and several others have.. and then and then?

 
 
 
squiggy
Sophomore Quiet
3.2.3  squiggy  replied to  JohnRussell @3.2.1    5 days ago

“…have to wonder…”

We could probably set you up a GoFundMe page if you want the surgery.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
3.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JohnRussell @3    5 days ago
There has been a deluge of pathetic satire

Those Eastern Kentuckians that saw 8-10 inches of rain in 24 hours saw a deluge, hope yo've done better with yours than they did with theirs.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
3.4  Texan1211  replied to  JohnRussell @3    4 days ago

Yeah, not everyone is blessed enough to be able to not only understand satire, but to appreciate it.

I wonder how many more people will display that they can do neither?

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
4  Dismayed Patriot    5 days ago

If Lord Voldemort himself tells you to watch out for 'that guy' because of how evil they are, I would likely give him the benefit of the doubt.

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
4.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @4    5 days ago

Personally that would make me want to keep an eye on Lord Voldermort as well but.....yeah.

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
4.2  Ronin2  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @4    4 days ago

Democrats must be desperate to be siding with Dick.

Liz is definitely her father's daughter. Complete with delusions of grandeur; and an obsession with having a power she will never obtain.

Wonder if their is another Bush out there looking capable of winning puppet presidency for Liz to rule over?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
4.2.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Ronin2 @4.2    3 days ago

And tell me that you didn't vote for Bush over Al Gore or John Kerry.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
5  Thrawn 31    5 days ago

Man he looks like shit. That aside, Dick Cheney is the last person on Earth who should be making statements like the ones he gave. I read some of them earlier and my first thought was "oh, he is finally coming to terms with what he did as VP?"  

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
5.1  Ronin2  replied to  Thrawn 31 @5    4 days ago

Dick is just pissed the TDS have given Trump his title of "Greatest threat to America".

Liz is hoping to pick up her father's mantle and run with it. So far she is off to an excellent start. She has sold out whatever morals; the law; and all integrity in her "get Trump at all costs" gambit.

Looking for another Bush capable of winning the presidency and being her puppet is her next step.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
5.1.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Ronin2 @5.1    3 days ago

Please reference 4.2.1  

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
5.2  Mark in Wyoming   replied to  Thrawn 31 @5    3 days ago
Man he looks like shit.

And how many heart attacks has he had ? i can think of at least 5 going back to the 80s .

( I know , most people would say Dick  doesnt and never had a heart to begin with )

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6  Sparty On    4 days ago

The best satire has a component of believability.    This one is very believable since his daughter is the lead cheerleader for the Republican establishment, never Trumper movement.

Very believable.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
6.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Sparty On @6    3 days ago

Ummm... It's true.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
6.1.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @6.1    3 days ago

Who's going to believe Dick Cheney?

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.2  Sparty On  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @6.1    3 days ago

I saw that after I posted.    The “satire” tag threw me off but as noted, It was very believable for the reasons mentioned.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
6.1.3  Sparty On  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @6.1.1    3 days ago

Only when he’s bagging on Trump .....

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
6.1.4  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @6.1.1    3 days ago

IDK? All the people who voted for Dubbya?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
6.1.5  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Sparty On @6.1.2    3 days ago
I saw that after I posted.    The “satire” tag threw me off but as noted, It was very believable for the reasons mentioned.

I can understand that.

 
 

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