Mildew, Ohio is no longer "WOKE", We be "BROKE"! Thanks to the Re-Puritans who invaded our lovely community!
Hello, my fellow Lipschitzers, this is Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored", coming to you "LIVE From URANUS".
You know that "scratchy, itchy" feeling you get, that ain't hemorrhoids, that's our "Potty Cast". So, whatever you do don't scratch it. That interferes with the reception and might lead to electrocution.
I can't tell you how many "forced" subscribers we lost that way.
As many of you know, I am CEO & FLOUNDER of the Less Than Prestigious BIRD DROPPINGS INSTITUTE - A Think Tank for Morons, No Idiots, please.
We are located in the lovely, but nearly all torn down hamlet of Mildew, Ohio, where there are NO JOBS, Not Even Blow Jobs, thanks to the Re-Puritans who invaded our community and forced the leadership to close down our only factory, the "Cork Sacking Factory"!
Everyone in Mildew was a "cork sacker", and we just love "sacking them cork."
The Right Awful, Religious Conservative, Book Burning Re-Puritans threaten to "tear our community down, and burn it to the ground" if we refuse.
So, naturally, as natural born "cork sackers", we succumbed, fell to our knees and turned over the keys to their leader, Majorie Taylor Green, who is one scary looking "Hag".
Now we are no longer "WOKE", we be jus' BROKE!
Won't you all nice Lipschitzers help up by sending $8.00 per month for our "Free Speech" catalogue that comes out every now and again, and we will let you write or say anything you want to.
"FREE SPEECH Ain't Free!
It is $8.00 per month (Cash Only)!
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Please, don't write in CRAYONS, or doodle in the margins, it is disrespectful. Besides, that is our thing.
Then you will never understand what we write.
Or, you can pay with coins at 50 cents per word, or 10 cents per letter. You get all the FREE SPEECH your vocabulary allows.
Don't be shy. Spew, spew until you get it all out!
At 10 cents a letter or 50 cents a word makes it pay for speech not free speech or are you going to be paying us?
Well, that is a good idea. I'll talk it over with the other Morons, No Idiots, though. We make collective decisions, cause none of us can think for ourselves, sort like MAGALLLLOOOONS.
Marjorie Taylor Green likes to post on our site.
She is our poster girl, and is on the Billboard, that is passed the one that says,
"Twilight Zone".
The image posted at the top of the woman dining with a dwarf is yet just another example of Life Imitating Art, because in the movie Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Frances McDormand sat on a date for dinner with the famous dwarf actor Peter Dinklage.
They both are brilliant actors, wonderful talent and riveting to watch. Thanks for your post.
The first thing that popped in to my head was that tv show Schitt"s Creek.
Ender, that place "stank"! Schitt Creek. I never got it until just now!
And, I know something about Schitt.
I lost my paddle while traversing Schitt's Creek and cried all the way home. My sadistic Middle School principal gave it to me when I graduated, as something to remember him by, and now I only have the bruises which are still tender.
Life can be so unfair for the "twisted"!
I wished that I would have found out about "SCHITT CREEK" sooner. I would have made it the location of my Bird Droppings Institute-A Think/Stink Tank for Morons, No Idiots, please.
Unfortunately, it is located in Mildew, Oh-High-Ho, where there are NO JOBS,
NOT EVEN BLOW JOBS!
It used to be a thriving little borough located at the confluence of Mildew's Waste Treatment Plant, and the County Dump. The smell could be appreciated from all over the county, and people liked it, or got used to it cause it smelt like a cache of Hashish burning 24/7/365. Even those in law-enforcement would drive down to get a Whiff. We only charged them $8.00 per month to get all of the FREE SMELL they wanted.
Come see us! We are just a SHARP RIGHT TURN from Anywhere, in 'Mureeka!
Don't be turned off by the barbwire fence, the machine gun turrets, or the minefields. That's just decorations.
We don't know who built it, or why. But we love it. It makes us a "Gated Community", and that gives us "gravitas".
This story is not about dwarfs. It is about Re-Puritans "lipschitting", a lovely community with roots all the way back to 1619, when "Cork Sacking" was an honorable trade, not a sin.
Dag-gone it, boys and girls, do I have to tell you everything? We saved the town by building closets so the "Cork Sackers" had a place to hide when the Puritans came knocking, knocking on our doors. It worked, too.
I love getting crayons.
Great! I will send you a FREE box for Only $8.00 per month. You can write, post and scribble your FREE First American Rights all over America for just $8.00 per month, plus shipping and handling.