Some amusing inscriptions on old tombstones!
Category: The Lighter Side/ HumorBy: buzz-of-the-orient • 3 weeks ago • 22 comments
Some amusing inscriptions on old tombstones!
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903--Died 1942.
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up
and no place to go.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
Only the good die young
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid
but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon him for not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
and that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our Anna,
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod,
Pease shelled out and went to God.
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be,
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent,
Until I know which way you went.
And the final one...
On a tombstone in Boothill Cemetery, Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a 44
No Les, No more
Burger & Fries - LOL
Morning..yes wandering around in old cemeteries is rather fascinating I think..
The sayings and scriptures etc especially when I was staying in England were quite remarkable and I spent hours looking.
The part I couldn't grasp people had passed in 16th 17th century etc and Australia hadn't even been discovered..🤣🤣, but the Kooris were here watching over the Great Southern Land...🦘🐨
Although I have been to a number of cemeteries over the years, I don't recall ever seeing an inscription that was funny.
But this is what I want on my tombstone...
Might put on mine...
Missed being shark bait...🏊🏄
You just made me burst out laughing.
Not sure if you meant a hurricane or a medical digestive problem.
Digestive.. they were being polite...
I wonder what happened - did the person just blow up to be a balloon? Balloons ate big news these days.
Probably where the expression comes from..
Blow up and bust..🤣🤣
Or get shot down?
Shot down in a blaze of glory..😁
That makes me curious about something. The equipment carried by the so-called Chinese "spy" balloon was gathered up and sent to the FBI more than a month ago. I was wondering why it takes the world's most technologically advanced nation so long to determine whether that equipment was meant for weather observation or spying - at least I've never seen any absolute statement about that. What can the USA be hiding?
If the Chinese shot down an American balloon over China and the U.S. said it was a weather balloon blown off course, would you say the American "weather balloon? or the American "spy" balloon?
Typical weather balloon:
Weather balloons are about 6 feet wide when they're launched, and then expand to about 20 feet in diameter as they rise. The Chinese balloon was estimated to be as big as three buses.
Weather balloons are designed to deploy an instrument called a radiosonde to measure temperature, pressure and humidity. Once at altitude - typically around 60,000 feet or higher - the balloon bursts and the radiosonde floats back to Earth on a parachute.
Weather balloons are only in the air for a couple of hours. The U.S. tracked the China balloon for three days over the interior on the U.S. before shooting it down.
Weather balloons usually only fly about 100 miles from where they were launched.
Chinese Balloon Shot Down Differs From Weather Balloons | Weather.com
I didn't realize that the Weather Channel authors who wrote that the day after the balloon was shot down had studied the contents of the balloon that were collected and sent to the FBI. Thank you for their opinion. Now, I'm still curious about why it's taking more than a month for a definitive statement.
The Weather Channel didn't say they studied the contents, they stated facts about weather balloons.
China's balloon was a hell of a lot larger than the standard balloon, stayed at 60,000 feet for days, not just a couple of hours and it flew for thousands of miles. Doesn't sound like a weather balloon to me and I bet it doesn't to you.
Would you believe the U.S. if they said a balloon that size flew for thousands of miles staying in the air for over a week before it reached China was a weather balloon? I think not.
New developments are happening all the time - some may think that bigger is better. With hindsight I should not have gone off topic with this issue, so any further comment on it will be deleted as off topic, if not taunting or trolling.
I should have on my marker:
I guess I'll have mine de-coffin-ated now.
He got long in the tooth, now he's a pain in the neck.
Emailed to me by my 90 year old brother. I wonder if he's trying to make up a good one for himself.