Melania Concerned That Trump Will Be Unavailable to Attend Divorce Proceedings
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
PALM BEACH ( The Borowitz Report )—Shortly after a Georgia grand jury indicted Donald J. Trump for trying to overturn the 2020 election, Melania Trump expressed concern that her husband’s mounting court dates could make him unavailable to attend “any divorce proceedings that might come up.”
Stressing that she was speaking “totally hypothetically,” Mrs. Trump said that the former President’s blizzard of court appearances would present scheduling challenges “if someone wanted to divorce him.”
“I know that stealing documents, falsifying business records, and subverting democracy are serious matters, but should prosecuting him mean—and, again, I’m just spitballing here—that someone should have to be married to him a day longer than she can stand?” she asked. “There’s a human cost to this.”
Mrs. Trump urged the judges overseeing her husband’s multiple trials to delay them until after any divorce proceedings are concluded. “I think that be best,” she said.
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She’s got a point.
if she holds out just a bit longer she can turn his office at mar-a-lardo into an eastern block 1st lady cam-girl studio.
Since Donny will likely be out of town for awhile, she might just have to wait.
Sharing Mar-A Lardo with the pool boy shouldn't be too much of an inconvenience.
I wonder if the foot traffic in and out of her private residence at mar-a-lardo is caught on all the surveillance cameras there too ...
Ha!
What will be her alimony payments to him?
Melania was the first First Lady I saw naked...
Thank god that Hillary was less comfortable with her body.
It’s not about being comfortable with her body, it’s about being a money grubbing whore with no scruples.
I have no problem with whores. If she had just done it with a little integrity and then tried to hide it
The comment that I replied to was about a model and an assignment.
Hide her modelling career in the internet age?
Should have left off the first first. Funnier that way. Speaking as an editor.
The last time I posted pictures from those assignments here they were removed because of how whore-ish they are. Let that sink in.
Who know why they were removed except for the moderator. It's not like there is consistency there.
Isn't the photographer in charge of directing the shoot?
she was trying to start her carpet cleaning business back then...
As long as the rug matches the drapes it's all OK.
Do NYC woman still have rugs?
Please don't encourage them.
If this is their version of "intellectualism" it is a sad display.
Have never known a NYC woman. Some in Philly and KC still do.
Yep, that's Hillary all right.
More like slut-shaming.
I'm sure it isn't for a lack of trying.
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Why the hell would you want to?
Lesbians can be sluts too.
[deleted]
penile accessory...
Very prudish here.
How about giving us a link, though?
Is it possible to divorce someone by proxy?
inmates wind up divorced after incarceration all the time...
I've even drawn blood for paternity tests on inmates.
The hits just keep on coming for some folk.
didn't she have someone sleep with him by proxy?
wasn't there a poisonous mushroom story published here recently?
plenty of brain dead bimbos willing to volunteer at his rallies...
Probably.
It was about your dumb ass president's treasure secretary being served magic mushrooms to here when she was in China.
Wonder what your dumb ass president did about it s/
really and speaking of brain dead . . .
derp.
Might want to slap a satire tag on this lest people think it is real!
You mean like the one that is listed under “tags”?
Judging by the comments here, apparently everybody missed it!
he only reads the headline...
Your comment is incorrect.
OMG not again. Every one by now should know what the Borowitz report is
Hopefully the comments will soon reflect that.
don't like it? [deleted]
just pointing many comments here lead me to believe not everyone knew this was satire.
Think I'll stay a while.
Seems he "f'n left" instead.........
looks like it.
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If that.
Yes, but the problem is that the Borowitz Report is more accurate than the Usual Suspects' habitual "news" sources.
It's funnier than that other one that gets seeded here. What's the name of that unfunny satire site?
are you talking about those satire seeds that average comment numbers in the low single digits and time out after about 75 minutes on the front page?
those would be the ones
yeah, that particular brand of humor even falls short of slapstick...
Fox News
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... far short.
Is the author kidding? This isn't satire? I wonder next to what golf hole in the rough Melania will eventually find herself buried like Ivana is, ignored and goodbye.
read 5.1
Oh, never checked a tag before so obviously I missed it. However, I don't think the rest of my comment is out of place.
from the earlier comments it is apparent you were not the only one
So I've now noticed. I have now learned to check the "tags" every time I read an article or seed.
I would like to point out to those that think our comments "don't seem to mesh with the satire in the article"....
...one must use satire and sarcasm to understand satire. If you can't see that, you have major problems in reading comprehension
I think there’s only one moron here who is consistently not making that connection. It’s completely expected with that one. I purposely cropped the image for this seed to include the publication and author, in addition to tagging it satire, and it still was immediately questioned.
Because some have to come into seeds to troll. That is their only purpose in life.
... all the way down the contrarian rabbit hole.
it's kind of like when thumpers crash your party...