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Did #45, do #2, during Jury selection?

  

Category:  News & Politics

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  3 months ago  •  42 comments

Did #45, do #2, during Jury selection?
"Fragrance is a powerful influence..." Perfume Tester

The Juror selection process was interrupted this afternoon to allow "Dirty Diaper Donnie" to be removed from the Courtroom to address his biological needs.
 
Several potential jurors held their noise, while the Defense claimed it was an "orchestrated protestation of  'bias' against their client, 'Dirty Diaper Donnie', aka Donald J. Trump".

The judge, Juanita Mushroom-Head, a statuous, bright man/woman was the one that noticed that nearly everyone in the courtroom, including many of the defense attorneys, were also, holding their nose. Some were even holding each other noses.

Two previously selected jurors collapsed onto the floor, merely for the fun of it, and were nearly swept up by Court janitor, who, per usual, was always drunk.

Both jurors were unceremoniously dismissed, according to our "sauce", Jonathan
Lipschitz, who was not present in the courtroom, but is a sentient capable of picking up anything from anywhere, even your underwear.

(And, if you do not think that is true, you should see the skanks he/she pick up.They make MTG look like a princess).

Er, let we continue with my dissertation for today.
The disruption in the courtroom apparently ruined the lunch period for those in attendance, as a number of the potential jurors were retching incessantly, and, they, too, were politely holding each others nose.

A protestor, became confused and set himself on fire accidentally, because he was a "first time user".

It seems, he was a bit out of sorts, and somewhat of an idiot, because he was standing outside bh the wrong courthouse, about 50 feet from the one he was supposed to be inside, per HAMAS' INSTRUCTIONS. 

256 The entire diabolical plan was built around "Dirty Diaper Donnie" continuous torturing of everyone in the courtroom with his unrelenting fumigation.

The key to the plan, as our "sauce", (Mike Johnson) explained to our inebriated sauce, was to seat himself next to "Dirty Diaper Donnie" and light up a "fag", (slang for cigarette).

This would set off a gigantic explosion due to Donnie continuous, uncontrollable jettison of his highly flammable natural gas materials. 

Unfortunately, the martyr, like so many MAGA LOONS, and got mixed up, which only resulted in ruining everyone's lunch, while he accidentally set himself on fire, in front of the wrong building, and to far from Trump fume power. 


Well, My Fellow Fiends:

You hear it here, first!

Don't jeer, sneer, or call anyone "queer". That is a "No-No"! Blowing someone up is not.

Remember, "Don't Say, GAY!" (Ron De Sanctimonious will have your testicles on a stick).

This has been a PUBLIC SERVICE announcement from another "Has Been", Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo!

FOLKS:  We ain't doing this fer nuttin'!

Send you donations (CASH ONLY) to Eat the Press-Do Not Read It. The Content is Worthless, the Value is in the Pulp when one eats it.

Your contribution will help save a BILLIONAIRE from financial disaster. 


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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

The hidden power of NATURE can change circumstances in a nanosecond. Thank GOD!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1    3 months ago

The more I view the Front (Home) Page on this site the more I feel that your articles make more and more sense to me. 

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.1    3 months ago

Yes, I, too, sense that, and have no clue as to why it does, but it does. 
Is that wrong?

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1.2  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1.1.1    3 months ago

Why would it be wrong?

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
2  MrFrost    3 months ago

512

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  MrFrost @2    3 months ago

There is something very sinister about this picture. I can't put my finger on it, but anything with the name TRUMP on it is highly questionable.

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
3  JBB    3 months ago

original

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
3.1  Right Down the Center  replied to  JBB @3    3 months ago

5zugxe.jpg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Right Down the Center @3.1    3 months ago

Trump is so desperate that he is crapping in other folks pants.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Right Down the Center @3.1    3 months ago

Stealing Trump's moves, I see! Trump invented that when he was still doing the Apprentice.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
3.1.3  Right Down the Center  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3.1.1    3 months ago

64c97a562fac4.jpeg

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
3.1.4  Right Down the Center  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3.1.2    3 months ago

5t7vte.jpg

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
3.1.5  MrFrost  replied to  Right Down the Center @3.1    3 months ago

512

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
3.1.6  George  replied to  MrFrost @3.1.5    3 months ago

Sigh…….

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Right Down the Center @3.1.3    3 months ago

Wrong PHOTO! 

That is TRUMP, aka, "DIRTY DIAPER DONNIE'S" stitz.


 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Right Down the Center @3.1.4    3 months ago

Sorry, but you got that's the wrong guy. NOT BIDEN!

That is left overs from Dirty Diaper Donnie when he was dropping his loads in the White House. Donnie can't control his bowels, his rages, or his MOUTH!

It's his trademark!

That is why MAGA- LUNATICS L O V E him. It reminds them of their own drunken outings. Beating their wives, spitting tobacco juice, and still wiping their big, fat butt with corn cobs.

That's the rural South fer ya!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.9  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  MrFrost @3.1.5    3 months ago

Notice the moisture between his legs?  Donnie can't control his bladder either. 

What is the attraction to a man like this? A rapist? A Career Criminal, a man who thinks his followers are disgusting, stupid, someone he would never want to be around.

Only at rallies, when he is on stage and they are lapping it up as if it was MANNA from the Second Coming of Jesus.

It's not "Manna", its MANURE!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1.10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Right Down the Center @3.1.3    3 months ago

Have you notice how right-wing Re-Tard-i-tans are always stealing lines from Democrats?  It is, as if, they can't come up with their own material.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JBB @3    3 months ago

Oh, no I did it 17 times. That a record for one day.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

The Judge in Trump's "Pant Crap" incident that Trump must, hence forth, sit in a PORTA JOHN for the rest of the trial.

And, that the jurors are required to wear a GAS MASK.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

Enquiring Minds Want To Know:

Will Trump's inability to control his bowel interfere with the Jury's ability to make a "No Stinking" decision?

Enquiring Minds Want To Kown, the Other Kind Don't give a SHAT!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

BrokeBack Mountain's Sissy Reporters are suggesting that Donald J. Trump be airlifter to IRAN, where he can be of considerable help to the World Order by dropping his loads on military targets. 

"It is a powerful influence that could immediately bring a ceasefire to the conflict between Israel and Iran," giggled the authors of the "Sissy's Report". 

Secretary of State Blinken stated that "it is being seriously contemplated by the White House". His aides elaborated that it would be the best use of DJT, if used in a "Stealth Stink Blitz".

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

I, like my idol, Marjorie Taylor Green (Half Man-Half-Arse Woman) get my ludicrous messages from the ECLYPSE, also.

However, it takes me longer to decipher them, since I am not an idiot, just a full time moron, with an aversion to IDIOTS.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

When and if the USA falls, will it do so,because the entire country is covered in TRUMP BULL SHAT?

"Enquiring Minds Want To Know - The Other Kind Love Bull Shat"

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
9  JohnRussell    3 months ago

436357662_1142031643617228_7377250689304758200_n.jpg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @9    3 months ago

A Stab In The Back is Not as Painful as a Stab In the Arse.  What goes around comes around. In Trump's case, he gets both.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
10  JohnRussell    3 months ago

GLaF-ogXYAA7OVg.jpeg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @10    3 months ago

What a lovely, fatherly photo of daughter and the DEVIL!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @10    3 months ago

Oh that is not Trump that Putin is holding up, it is Trump's new girlfriend, Marjorie Taylor Green. They look like identical twins, and think the same, too!

256

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

There is NOTHING wrong with T-Rump that a good enema couldn't solve.
It would, however, require years of suppositories injected, three times daily, according to our sauce, "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, an expert of these matters.

NATO is considering passing a Resolution to this effect, ASAP, to, as they say, "Bring Sanity & Sobriety to the World".

What say ye, News Yawkers.com?


 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
12  JohnRussell    3 months ago

435186604_868774345294050_8241857201989641745_n.jpg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @12    3 months ago

Our sauces say that Donnie's Adderall use is wearing off, but, his bowels are not. Do his fans know how "Shatty" Donnie is?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @12    3 months ago

This Donnie is the TRIAL OF YOUR LIFE!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

My Fellow News Yakers, here, I sit, in my den, in my "wet depends" commenting on "Dirty Diaper Donnie" sitting in the courtroom in his soiled, dirty diaper.

Is that wrong?

I am 82.4.19 years old, rapidly approaching my EXPIRATION DATE, while Donnie is only 79, and rapidly coordinating America's EXPIRATION DATE.
 
I ask you, which is the worse?

Donnie STINKS, 24/7/365. 

I, on the other hand, "tingle", occasionally, when I laugh. (Please, I beg you, do not make me laugh).

There is a difference, at least in fragrance, and volume.

As a resident of the Dick Cheney NURSING HOME FOR WAYWARD REPUBLICANS (where waterboarding is a therapy, NOT a TORTURE) by condition has been acerbate by Nurse Ratchet's constant finagling with me "Jonson", while "Dirty Diaper Donnie" is so full of SHAT, it involuntarily spews from every orifice in his orange, sagging, blubbering body, non-stop, profulsively from his A-Hole MOUTH.

In a word, Donnie "STINKS"!

I don't. My "Depends" are doused with George Orwell's cologne for "Real Men".

How could any sane person vote for this "BOWEL BOMBER"?
Where is their decency?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
14  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

"The World will little note what was said here", but, it can never forget what STENCH Trump left here - Archibald Mac Lish

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
15  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

"Trump RAGING ABOUT Gag Order"! 

Wait till he hears about the "GAS MASK ORDER"?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
16  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

Will the World end with a Big Bang from Donnie's Big Arse, or, a Whimper, when "Dirty Diaper Donnie" gets clobbered in the General Election?

You decide, we deride!


 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
17  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

Here, at Eat The Press we tell the Tooth, Nuttin' Butt da Tooth, so help me, Herpes.
If you would like to read another of our witless, Toothful Expose, send a quarter and subscribe. 


 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
18  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

The world will little note what was said here, but, it can never forget what TRUMP did here. Any A-Hole butt the Dumpster. A man that cannot control his bowels, cannot control a country.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
19  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

Donnie can't control his bladder, his bowels, his rages, his lying, his exaggerations or his BIG, UGLY, LYING MOUTH.

Why would anyone in their right mind...oh that's it... their RIGHT mind.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
20  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

To fully understand the meaning of these Epistles, it is necessary to read our FRONT PAGE.  

It set the tone, explains the hidden insights, and light a fire in your arse that keeps you on fire all night long.

In the morning, you will find yourself calm, serene, nearly human, again, and realize that "the DEVIL had a hold on you".

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
21  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

WOW, with a PLEDGE like that, who wouldn't VOTE for Dirty Diaper Donnie, if one really wanted a "SHITTY POTUS"!

 
 

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