Should Franken be forced to resign?

Judge Roy Moore, the famous Gun Waving, Cowboy is running for Senate as a Republican in the highly contested election in Alabama has weighed in on the so called "Franken Sexual Harassment Incident". Judge Moore said that if he is elected, he will personally" force Franken to resign" at the point of his pistol.

"We can't have the Senate despoiled by Democrats! That's my job," added the accused Child Predator!

The question for our readers to consider is: "SHOULD FRANKEN BE SHOT" for "French Kissing" an actress as part of a comedy sketch? Republicans say, "Yes". Democrats say, "WTF"?

Would society be better served if All Franken was "Impaled on a stake in front of the Capital Building", as many Evangelicals hiss?

Historians, according to our non-existing pole, prefer that Franken be "burned at the staked! It's historically more accurate", noted a high school history student we never spoke to.

Southern Sadists, aka "Evangelical Preachers", prefer "horsewhipping" with some good old Southern traditional "tarred and feathering", throw in jest fer fun, then," hung". (Ouch)!

However, our friends in the LGBT community offered up the best remedy, "bitch slapping" him on national TV in front of a live audience of "angry lesbians"?

Here, at the "Less Than Prestigious", Eat The Press - Don't Wipe Your Bun With It, our internal research team (a wino living in the basement of the Washington Monument), concluded that "the public's reaction is all over the place". They observed that this incident is most frequently seen on Men's restroom stalls in upscale "Gay Baths".

However, dear, unenlightened readers, if, perchance, you are unaware of the lastest "Sex Scandal of the Day" sweeping the internet, or, for some personal reason you have had your head up your ass for a week, let us recap for you so, like the "Deplorables", you won't be left behind wondering, "WTF is he talking about?"

Al Franken, the United States Senator from Minnesota, is accused of the unholy act of "French Kissing" a female actress during a comedy sketch rehearsal, eleven years ago, when he was on a USO tour with her and several other entertainers. The comedy sketch script called for a "kiss".

Franken, ever, the child/prankster who never grew up, planted a wet "French Kiss" on the unsuspecting actresses lip and, according to Leeann Tweedem, a Playboy model, the comedian. "jammed his tongue down the back of my throat".

Judge Roy Moore, also, an "Accused Sexual Predator", has much more experience in these areas. He has racked up an impressive nine accusations from women who claimed "he fooled around with them down there, in that nasty place" when they were teenagers, and he was a 32 year old District of Attorney.

So, the Judges know a thing or two about sexual aggression! He is kind of an expert on the subject.
The "GODLY JUDGE", as he knows to his Goofus supporters, explained to our staff reporter, Linda Lovelace, the former actress, turned Urinalist, "that as an attractive man. . . Naturally, women, girls, even, mothers are attracted" to him.

"Cause I am a babe magnet and a lecherous old reprobate that chases teenage nokki!", the obnoxious judge bragged.

The now disgraced Judge confined to our reporter, "Deep Throat", Linda, (in case you didn't get it), as he seductively ran his gnarled hands through her hair, unhooked her bra and nibbled on her ear lobes.

"As a born and bred Southern gentleman, we be raised not to disrespect women. That's why I accommodated as many of them as I could, but, only with their Mother's permission! Cause I am a Christian. Franken ain't! He is Jewish," added the judge as he moved his hand under her skirt, only to find that she was sans underwear.

The Judge excited, railed for several hours, about how "this disgusting Al Frankenstein scandal is totally un-American and hurtful to 'Merica."

Several times during his rant he waved his pistol at the audience and point it at imaginary Democrat. Screaming like a hysterical girl, the red faced, red neck from a red state shouted," French Kiss! Why, shucks, French Kissing is tantamount to a Sin. It's foreign. That is the worst of sins. If one is going to sin at least be patriotic enough to bring it home. French Kissing ain't even 'Merican! It's French!"

In full transparency, we, here, at the Real Fake News, (not the "real" news our FAKE PRESIDENT whines about, conducted a "Telepathic Interview" with the "Godly Judge", as slept with his newest 14 year old "squeeze". Roy may or may not have any memory of it.

"In regards to the sexual attack involving Senator Franken", the Godly Judge said, "it can in no way be compared to my well thought out, well plan seduction."

"Senator Franken is a Northerner, they screw up everything", he added.

"Can you image the horrors of horror this poor, innocent, naïve debutante must have felt, as the older actor, surprised her by stinking his Jewish tongue deep into her soul palate in that pure, all white, Christian mouth? Why it is a sin, against God, hisself", he hissed, grunted and backfired.

"Horror of Horrors!", shouted, the man of God, of the Law, and a former D.A.is also a disbarred Alabama Supreme Court Judge.

"In Alabama we hanged folks for less! Or more! We like to hang people. It like a hobby with some folks".
Linda Lovelace, our star reporter from Dallas, is a professional urinalist, not a stodgy journalist, as some of her peers are believed to be. Linda, the facts, digging, "Urinalist", was able to track down the accuser's Mother, Teresa's.

Mother Theresa confirmed that Leeann Tweeden is a FOX TV Sports contributor, who prefer to pose NUDE in men's magazines, like Playboy, Hustler, and "Big 'Em", Al Bundy's favorite magazine.
"But", Mother Teresa added, "she is as pure as driven snow during a sleet storm! White as white, can be. So, you can believe anything she says," she said, holding her fingers crossed behind her back.

"Tweedely-Dee", Leeanne's biker name, is a highly paid Nude Men's Magazine Model who is, coincidentally, a PERSONAL FRIEND of Sean Hannity, Fox TV Network's "FAKE News for Morons" show, where she can be seen overtly flirting, teasing and tempting the former Alter Boy, Sean, in, of course, totally "acceptable, Christian ways".

"Tweedlee-Dumb" is currently making the rounds of networks TV programs, garbed in a very sheik, black nun's dress gushing forth in great, lurid detail how she was "sexually assaulted" by Franken and traumatized for life.
She even compares her misadventure with Franken to "the trauma suffered by victims of Harvey Weinstein's sexual assaults", adding, that she, now, "knows how they felt".
Because prior to her AWAKENING, she was just a "Show Biz Slut" showing her tits for money, or, words not remotely similar to this.

Linda Lovelace, no novice to smut, observed that the movie mogul, Weinstein, (also "a dirty Jew, bastard", according to Judge Roy Moore reportedly likes to masturbate in front of actresses. Roy doesn't, he would like to but has never gotten that far.
When Harvey first learned of Leeann's horrific experience, he said to ACCESS HOLLYWOOD, "I would do her".

Weinstein, allegedly claimed that his encounter where business transactions. "They were a way that a young actress could pay her Union dues".

"If a young, innocent actress wanted to become a STAR, and NOT PARK CARS, you have to pay to play", explained Mister Weinstein, a close personal friend of the Judge Moore, who he met at Cemetery School, when they were starting out in their career.

"It's like a screen test without the screen!"
Although, as "disquieting" as this practice might seem to those of us on the outside of the "industry", it is the key to jump starting, or, slamming shut, one's acting career in the film industry, especially for female actresses and some good looking male leads."

Linda, no barb to Sex Scandals, noted, "that as a professional urinalist, I, have to say in Mr. Weinstein's defense, "that at least it was a quid pro quo"!
(Something for something). "That's how I got my first film job".
"Not so with the Jewish, tightwad, Al Franken's sex crazed incident. Franken is a washed up hack from SNL. Besides, he has a big nozzle with impure blood", expounded the good Judge, Roy Moore, during his speech to Alabama's "Retarded Preachers Supporting Judge Roy Moore", at a $7.50 per plate rally held at "Hooters"!

"Why Frankenstein, ain't even a Christian!", evoked the Judge, again, and, again, as the most self-ordained, backwoods, backward
Evil-Genital pastors cheered, stomped their feet and grabbed the wait staff's by their pussies.
The Judge thundered in his best biblical voice, "this incident, this sexual misconduct involving a one time French Kiss of actress, during a comedy scene rehearsal, may well be, the beginning of the end of our Christian Civilization. As we know it!"

At which point, the rowdy group of Alabamian pastors worked themselves up into a "religious frenzy" when Moore pulled his pistol out and plunged into his own, loudmouth to demonstrate the act of "French Kissing" and licked with his tongue.

"Franken is a Jew. A Killer of Jesus! He is not a Christian like you and me," the Judge exhorted his Fake Christian audience, then, leaped upon a table so all 23 pastors might see him in his new Cowboy attire.
"This Jew boy, stuck his ethnic, uncleansed tongue deep into the throat of an innocent, white women sending her into a lifetime of compulsive behavior, which cause her to pose nude for Men's Magazine for money."

"Shame, shame on Franken!", shouted back the now drunk crowd of Fake pastors and several prostitutes, now in full attendance.

"Why this forced, unwanted SEXUAL ACT could have ignited a Nuclear War with Evangelical Christians and North Korea. if I had not interceded and settle my folks down. I am the hero, here. Elect me. I know hot to stir up shit. And stop it."

"Beside", the frothing Judge added, "there was No Qui Pro Quo. Ms. Tweedem didn't even get an autograph from Franken. How cheap is that?"

Unfortunately the other 900 pages of the Telepathic Interview were garbled forcing us to shred them before Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller subpoenas us.

We don't want that cause we don't know what a subpoenas is. Is it something you suck?
In closing, now, that all of you are all fast asleep, let me say this about that:

"REPUBLICANS SENATORS want to hold hearings on this "FRENCH KISS" incident, but, refuse to hold any hearings on CURBING GUN VIOLENCE!"

Which is more obscene?