WTF happened to me article?

My Fellow, Left Leaning Liberals, this is Jonathan Livingston-Pigeon Shat, coming to you "LIVE - From Inside Uranus!"You know that scratchy, itchy feeling you get? That's not hemorrhoids, that's our "POTTY CAST," coming to you live from UR-ANUS, so, whatever you do-do...don't scratch...it interferes with the microphone.Brothers & Sistas of the "Cornhole Degeneration," you know who I am...

"PSYCHOANALYSIS NOW - PAY LATER", is a new psychological service available at all Quickie Marts, courtesy of Drs. Ding Dong and Ding-A-Ling", conjoined Siamese Twins, who specialize in treating this highly contagious disease, currently, sweeping through Congress like a BLUE TSUNAMI, known pejoratively, as the "Ass to Mouth" Syndrome.These highly defamed professors, little known scholars and...

As many of you may know, I, too, am a Man of Glob, er, "Man of GOD", ordained by the Universal Church of Lice, er, "Life", in the early 1970s. I preach under the nom de plume of Reverend Oral Fleece, Pasteur, of the Church of the "How Big Is Your Wallet, How Small Is Your Brain?" Located in the lovely, but, nearly all torn down Mildew, Ohio, "Where There Are No Jobs", not even "Blow Jobs",...

A disclaimer: This libelous piece of dribble is the sole responsibility of the half-wits at EAT THE PRESS – Do Not Read It! All complaints should be folded, stapled and shoved up your crevice, where the sun doesn’t shine. If, on the other hand, you are upset by words, but, not deeds, then, please, by all speedy means, skip this piece of "Literary Trash" and go directly to your favorite...

BREAKING NEWS:   July 7, 2019: ttps://www.cbsnews.com/news/jeffrey-epstein-arrested-in-new-york-today-on-charges-related-to-sex-trafficking-2019-07-05/ JEFFREY EPSTEIN, Trumps Best Friend, and fellow traveler Child Sexual Predator arrested. Charges of Child Sex Trafficking have been brought against him in the Southern District Court of NEW YORK, they reach back to the days when Trump and...

FRANKEN is resigning at this moment to an oration of praise by his fellow Democrat Senators for his contributions to the Senate and for his work on behalf of his Constituents from the "State of 1000 Lakes", Minnesota. Why is Franken resigning? The accusations against him, especially those from the former MALE MAGAZINE NUDE MODEL, Leeann Tweeden, a notorious porn model are BOGUS,...

What does a Christmas in the Alt-Right, All-White Folks-Only Trump White House look like? One see the most gigantic, "biggest, best ever" Xmas tree hung with "Indictments" dangling from its barren branches. "The Halls Are Decked" with droves of Russian Conspirators rehearsing their denials with "Holiday Cheer", slurped from a vat of cheap Trump Beer! Under the tree, gifts galore from the...

Another "Mighty, left leaning Liberal" has fallen! "FIRED" for alleged "improper behavior", dallying in the Valley of Love. With so many going down, do you think DONALD J. TRUMP, "America's Biggest SEXUAL PREDATOR", could be next in line? Trump leads the pack with 19 women accusing him of sexual misconduct; 4 others claiming he RAPED them, while two of those four are alleging that he...

Should Franken be forced to resign?Judge Roy Moore, the famous Gun Waving, Cowboy is running for Senate as a Republican in the highly contested election in Alabama has weighed in on the so called "Franken Sexual Harassment Incident". Judge Moore said that if he is elected, he will personally" force Franken to resign" at the point of his pistol."We can't have the Senate despoiled by Democrats!...