Connecticut recruiting LGBTQ families to adopt, foster kids: Connecticut's initiative comes at a time when other states, like Oklahoma and Kansas, are passing bills to curtail gay adoptions.
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
From NBCNEWS:
WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — Connecticut’s child welfare agency has launched an initiative to actively recruit members of the state’s LGBTQ community to become foster and adoptive parents, bucking recent efforts in some states to curtail gay adoptions. Democratic Gov. Dannel P. Malloy said Thursday that Connecticut wants to be known as a state that welcomes and embraces the LGBTQ community, especially considering there are 4,300 children in state care and about half of them likely won’t return to their biological families.
“We just have to get this word out,” Malloy said. “We have to get more of our children placed with our families in our state.” The Connecticut Department of Children and Families’ new outreach campaign is one of a handful of efforts by state and city governments across the U.S. to encourage gays and lesbians to consider becoming adoptive or foster parents. There are similar initiatives in New York City and San Francisco. Alison Delpercio, the Human Rights Foundation’s deputy director of children, youth and families program, said she has seen such recruitment efforts mostly at a county level or from private agencies. She said it’s unusual for a large statewide system to take a proactive approach.
Connecticut’s department plans to work with gay and lesbian organizations, such as the Connecticut Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and LGBTQ community centers, to encourage people to apply to become parents. DCF Commissioner Joette Katz said there are roughly 100 LGBTQ adoptive families already in the state’s system. She said she wants to increase that number to at least 250 by January, when Malloy’s term expires.
“There are hundreds, if not thousands of families, that have a lot of love to give,” she said, noting a 2013 study by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law that found same-sex couples are four times more likely than different-sex couples to raise an adopted child and six times more likely to raise foster children. While there’s no official, up-to-date count of gay and lesbian adoptive parents, advocates say the number is on the rise. The Kansas Legislature this year passed legislation that prevents barring faith-based agencies from providing adoption or foster care services for the state because the agencies won’t place children in homes that violate their “sincerely held” religious beliefs. Republican Gov. Jeff Colyer is expected to sign it into law. Derided by LGBTQ rights advocates, the bill was backed by the state’s Catholic bishops and conservative groups. The Oklahoma Legislature overwhelming approved a similar bill, granting legal protections to faith-based adoption agencies that won’t place children in LGBTQ homes. Other bills aimed at curtailing LGBTQ rights in Oklahoma were derailed.
Efforts to place restrictions on gay adoptions have dissuaded some in the LGBTQ community from trying to become foster or adoptive parents, said Shannon Smith, who adopted two young brothers in DCF care with his husband Ross Stencil about six years ago. He said that’s why it’s important for Connecticut to reach out to families.
“I think it’s nice DCF is pulling out the stops to really let people know, ’Hey, your love is just as good as anybody else’s. Don’t listen to that other garbage that everyone is saying. If you’re a great parent, we’re going to get you a kid,” he said. John Pica-Sneeden, executive director of the Connecticut Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, and an adoptive father, said he plans to invite DCF representatives to talk with gay and lesbian business people at meetings across the state about becoming a foster or adoptive parent. He said many in the LGBT community can relate to what these children are going through, especially those who may have been shunned by their families years ago. “Those are the ones who become the best parents,” he said. “They’re the ones that look at this child and say, ‘I will never throw you away.’ And that says everything to a child.
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Kudos to Connecticut and the gay (and straight) parents willing to adopt. It can really make a positive difference in a child's life. There is no logical reason to not allow gay couples to adopt. If they want to adopt and nurture and raise an otherwise unwanted child, they should have the opportunity.
WOW!
So little Heather should have two daddies? What harm could possibly come from that?
the same harm that could come from Heather having 1 mommy and 1 daddy or 2 mommies - did you have a point to all of this ?
First option is preferable, and two women is fine...but are telling me that two men trying to raise a little girl is a good thing, or good for her?? It's ridiculous!
you are kidding right ? you think men are unable to raise little girls ? should we take away daughters from all single fathers too since you seem to be under the erroneous impression that men are unable to raise little girls ?
what's ridiculous is that you'd rather children be orphans etc instead of being raised by two loving parents just because of the gender of those parents.
Better than not having anyone.
Do tell, what harm exactly? None that I'm aware of.
Why can't 2 men raise a child? How is it bad exactly?
You know what Greg's comments remind me of?
Back when I used to travel a lot, I had a co-worker (male) ask me what I did with my kids when I had to travel overnight?
My answer....Duh....they have a father?
should we take away daughters from all single fathers too since you seem to be under the erroneous impression that men are unable to raise little girls ?
Moronic response. Being a single father implies having had a wife or girlfriend, and who is probably current dating. Having two gay men as parents won't provide any mothering or a female role model.
LMAO I am a guy and raised my little girl all by myself (and can only guess two guys would have done even more), she turned into a fine upstanding person. Try to see past your personal biases
Just more prejudging without knowing the persons involved. I've known some men who were far more feminine and into tea parties and dress up than many mothers, why do you assume there would be no "mothering" with two dads? Before you've even met the couple you're already inventing fantasy problems and issues that still don't address the fact that two dads would be far better than no parents leaving an unwanted child in the care of the State or foster care. I suppose it's as hard for a conservative to open their hearts as it is for them to open their minds.
Because in your perception men are pedophiles and gay men are attracted to female children, obvious malfunction there!
So a female provides a male role model based on some magical instinct?
yes, that was your response
no it absolutely does not imply any such thing - there are limited stats and about 40% of single fathers are cohabitating with a partner (no gender specified - which leaves 60% not cohabitating )
There are many single fathers out there who do not date and never were married to the mother of their child - they just simply raise the female child (or male child or children etc) alone . Try getting out into the world sometime.
oh ? so the gay men don't have female friends or aunts or female cousins or mothers of their own ? seriously ? yes, your comment was a moronic response - thanks for illustrating it to everyone
There is a woman that I know (from the platform that shall not be named) that has two fathers. She is happily married and has a child of her own. One of the nicest people I have come across on any of these boards.
Isn't it quite common for gay males to have feminine attributes at least more so than their hetero counterparts? It is often seen that gay men dress phenomenally better than straight guys, bubbas excluded! Single mothers are most often lacking noticeable masculine traits yet they seem to do quite well raising boys.
Next up will be an explanation as to how those gay men became gay and what could have been done to prevent such an abomination or what could be changed to save them now./s
I am sure they visualized the bumbling, totally out of touch and incapable portrayal of men in society, that the idea of cooking a meal or operating a washing machine would be well beyond their technical ability. I am sure your husband did a fine job when needed.
Someone who is raising children has no business dating....even to find his "poor, motherless little girl" a mother figure. He needs to concentrate on raising his children and finding a mate later
later will be complaints about the number of single mothers plus about all the children who were never adopted and draining on the system. It's all about control and they wish to control the everyone to be in an opposite sex marriage family no matter what the circumstances - everyone has to lockstep with their version of the "ideal" family type (even given all the horror stories involving drugs, violence, abuse etc - they just can't see any other alternative than the opposite sex marriage family and demand everyone be the same way)
They were breathing when I got home, so yeah. LOL!
I really am tired of today's social media showing fathers as lovable, inept doofuses. There are fathers out there that are much better at parenting than mothers. My husband was the better parent, by far. He had more patience and was actually willing to play Barbies with our daughter. I helped with the homework, especially the math homework.
I know her, too! She's a very lovely person and always talks lovingly about her 2 dads
A single father won't have that either. So your argument falls apart on that point. But two fathers can be two role models and nurturing. That's what really matters.
What harm comes from a child having a permanent home and not being in the foster agency?
Do you have any proof that LGBTQ couples are not good parents?
"but are telling me that two men trying to raise a little girl is a good thing, or good for her??
Look at it this way. One if not both of the Dads is bound to be feminine
What are you trying to suggest? What can an LGBTQ parent not give a child than a heterosexual parent can? Did you learn how to have sex by watching your parents?
Someone who is raising children has no business dating.
Are you seriously saying a single mother or father can't be a good parent?
I'm saying at least one of the dads is probably feminine making two dads suitable to raise a girl.
I was a single parent after we divorced. Are you saying that all single parents are bad, or just the ones who are not heterosexual or only members of your chosen church?
Greg,
What about all the single dads that are raising little girls without a mother. Do you think they are growing up abnormal?
I happen to know one such family, and the little girl grew into a beautiful hetro woman.
A person's gender identity and sexual orientation do not come from those around them. They are innate to the person.
Do you know more than professional psychologists on this subject?
Someone who is raising children has no business dating
I take that as saying a single mother or dad is incapable of being a good parent. If I'm mistaken let Trout Giggles say what she met.
Is that what I said?
No, it isn't.
I said someone who is raising children really has no business dating. Raising children is hard enough without bringing strangers into the home.
I don't think that a person who is a single parent should be "barred" from dating and, not for the reason of "finding a mother" for their children or, for that matter a father for their children. I feel that the person, should they find someone they like, be able to date or, even marry should the mood strike them in a relationship but, I think that it should be because they are in love with each other and, want to make a life together, the children would just be an added benefit in the relationship.
i think (and correct me if i'm wrong Trout) she meant that the parent should be focused on raising that child to be a good person and productive member of society instead of worrying about dating someone and possibly bringing in more stress/chaos into the child's life with (possibly) failed relationships
Yes, exactly what I meant. Thanks for saying it in English
I dated when it was the weekend for my spouse to have our daughter. We had equal custody. I was only 26 when we separated and I was not going to live like a nun for the next 15 years.
I've been a step parent, still am one and, I love my kids as much as the "blood" mother did when she was alive, they call me Dad instead of Galen. the right person in a relationship can add to the household, not take from it.
It's a lot of work raising children even when you have two parents doing it, being single makes it twice as hard. I don't think children should be put through a revolving door of girlfriends/boyfriends. My brothers-in-law have done that and their kids are seriously messed up.
And Galen:
It worked for you, but I call you the exceptions to the rule. Please see my comment about my BILs
None of that has anything to do with what I said. I wasn't arguing same-sex couples can't be good parents. Why do you find it necessary to always find someone to pick on?
I'm sorry to hear that but, I have been on the "joining a home already in progress", yes, it was difficult for the kids when I first arrived in the home but, we survived and, the kids have turned out great, it can work but, both people have to be willing to make it work, marriage and, parenting is a partnership not a dictatorship and, their are times when the kids have to be included in the relationship between the couple, especially when it comes to a big move, all must be willing to listen to the needs and, wants of everyone in the house.
Why do you?
And it takes a level of commitment that some are not willing to put forth.
Mr Giggles' mother married a man after his father died. He calls him Dad and loves him very much. Mr G's Dad took on 4 boys that weren't his blood and loved all of them. His mom and dad made it work and I'm glad they did because I would never have married a messed up man. lol
I was a single Mother with two children under the age of 5 after I was able to leave a very physical, mental and emotionally abusive marriage. Not only way I in a state of recovery, but, the children were as well having witnessed it all. I worked with a councilor on how to help the children at home. I had to play the role of both Mother and Father, as I had a Daughter and a Son. I used my own Father as a role model in my role of Father when needed. But, there were some things that truly needed the help of a male, and my Father helped in those times. It was due to these times that my Son and Father bonded, and he became the Father figure in my Son's life. Both my children grew and flourished well even being raised by a single Mother. And the world is full of such children.
And even if there are same sex couple raising children, as long as their is unconditional love and their needs are met in all aspects, there is no reason why they would not grow up to be well adjusted and intelligent adults. And the world is becoming full of such children.
Just my own POV.
A single mom or dad doesn't have to bring the person their dating into the home.
My brothers wife died when his kids were 12 & 9. Over three years later he started to date but he never introduced his children to the women he was dating until at least six months into the relationship and they never spend the night at his home unless the kids were spending the night at a relatives or friends house. The lady was gone before is kids came home.
I vehemently disagree that single parents shouldn't date. Companionship can be part of healthy mental stability. There are good and bad ways to this.
I come from a "broken home", my mother raised me and, my sister Beth, yes, we have problems, my mother never remarried, my father did, she was a lovely lady named Kay, I never called her mother or, mom simply because I already had one but, I considered her someone I could go to if I had a problem and, I consider her sons, Rick and, Bob my brothers. It really is about a state of mind for the kids, if they feel loved by the step parent then there won't be a problem but, the step has to make an effort with the kids, sometimes going above what the parents do, to prove that they love the kids as well as the real parents. My mother never married even though she dated, there were a few of her boyfriends that I would have liked to have as a stepfather but, it never happened.
Exactly
Mr G's ex-wife is currently on husband number 4 and her kids aren't doing all that great
How many women did he introduce to his kids while they were growing up?
If they see relationships as something that comes and go and there's no real level of commitment, you can seriously mess up a kid's mind...just like my BIL's kids
are you two different posters here?
As with all placements with foster parents they need to be securitized better which, in most cases, aren't. Look at the gay couple who abused their adoptive children and drove off a cliff killing them all. Look at heterosexual couples who abuse the foster home situation. In it for the money.
BTW, that was a good question you asked.
Two, the second one he married when his kids were 20 & 17
You are disgusting.
i can agree with you - relationships take a lot of work, that's just how they are (whether they are friendships or romantic relationships etc), and raising children takes a lot of work as well. I think the parent should be focused on raising the child, not focused on going out looking for a romantic relationship. If the parent happens to find a romantic relationship that works out - fantastic ! But, all too often, we find children who have to be subjected to the experience of a new "mommy" or a new "daddy" every few months/years, experiencing the stress and pain of another person entering/leaving their life and seeing that broken relationships are the "norm" since that's what their parent is showing them constantly. There are cases it works out - i think they are great, but i suspect they are more of the exception rather then the rule. Once you become a parent - you are responsible for a young human and should be focusing on protecting them, showing them what's right and wrong etc, not worrying about if you have a companion or not if you are single. (this is strictly my opinion and i'm not stating that single parents shouldn't be allowed to date etc, i'm just simply stating that their focus should be on the child first)
How fucking rude can you get?
Here's a pro tip, Greg.......there's virtually no court in the country which agrees with you today and there's no peer-reviewed sociological research which supports your homophobic views. No credible medical organization agrees with you either. That's why same-sex couples are free to adopt in all 50 states.
I don't think you get why she said that, PJ, that could be a disgusting comment but not in the context used.
SP: Episitte said this to me in her comment 1.1.25 Did you learn how to have sex by watching your parents?
That's a CoC violation, do your job delete it.
Oh sure stick up for her. Two peas in a pot.
She asked a very valid question of those who somehow think it's crazy to let two loving parents adopt a child. A parents sexual orientation has nothing to do with how well they can raise a child. Parents don't teach their kids about sex by showing them how it's done, thus any gay parent would be just as capable of teaching their children about procreation as any other. In fact, they're likely to be more understanding and less critical of their child's sexuality. So the only ones being rude here are those prejudging gay parents whom they've never met claiming they must be somehow inferior.
You are correct. You do not need a gender-specific role model to learn from because both our gender identity and sexual orientation are innate. Our biological drive to reproduce is also innate and not learned. Teaching us how it works and how to prevent pregnancy is learned.
A child does not need to have two heterosexual parents to be happy and well adjusted. A child only needs a stable and loving home, which is often not available in the foster system or even in a heterosexual home.
BTW, A father and daughter having sex would be either incest and/or pedophilia.
Pod, PJ, two peas in a pod, and yes, we are!
As always, you try to cover your tracks when called on a CoC violation.
"A child only needs a stable and loving home, ( true) which is often not available in the foster system or even in a heterosexual home.
And not always in a same-sex home as is evident by the same-sex couple that killed their adopted children.
Crash that killed lesbian couple and their six adopted children appears INTENTIONAL say authorities after revealing they plunged off the cliff at 90mph without braking
Read more:
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Portland’s KGW8 news confirmed that the Harts’ children had been identified as “potential victims of abuse or neglect” on March 23. CPS tried to make contact on multiple occasions between the referral and the family’s crash on March 28.
Bruce and Dana DeKalb, neighbors of the family, told KGW8 that they contacted CPS after one of the children told them his mothers were withholding food as punishment. It came after other accusations of abuse, including that the Harts had hit another child.
Dana DeKalb told KGW8 that a CPS official came to the Harts’ door, but was unable to make contact with the family. The following day, the Harts left in their SUV.
“The next morning when we saw that the vehicle was gone, and then Sunday morning when it still wasn’t there, we figured something was off,” said Bruce DeKalb, adding, “We figured that they saw the business card and loaded up the kids as quick as they could and took off.”
Another neighbor, Bill Groener described the Harts’ children as “wonderful,” but told CNN he “thought it was strange that I didn’t see the kids a lot. The weird thing was that the kids kind of seemed repressed and not communicative.” It is understood that the children were being home-schooled.
Sarah Hart also pleaded guilty to domestic assault and malicious punishment of a child in 2011, after admitting that she had struck one of her daughters, leaving visible bruising. Hard claimed she was spanking the child and got carried away.
https://www.metroweekly.com/2018/03/lesbian-mothers-at-least-three-children-killed-after-driving-off-cliff-in-california/
Same-sex couples don't always provide stable homes or are loving caring parents.
WAKEMAN, OHIO (AP) -- Sheriff's deputies found 11 children locked in cages less than 3½ feet high inside a home, but a couple denied they had abused or neglected the children. A judge on Monday put the children -- who have various disabilities, including autism -- in four foster homes.
They were found in nine cages built into the walls of the house near this small city in northern Ohio, according to the Huron County Sheriff's Office. They had no blankets or pillows, and the cages were rigged with alarms that sounded if opened, Lt. Randy Sommers said. The children told authorities they slept in the cages -- 40 inches high and 40 inches deep -- at night. Doors to some of the cages were blocked with heavy furniture.
Sharen and Mike Gravelle are adoptive or foster parents for all 11 children, officials said. Prosecutors were reviewing the case, but no charges had been filed as of Monday night. "There are several levels of child endangerment, but this could be considered a felony," Sommers said.
What's your point, some same-sex and heterosexual couples abuse their children? I agree.
That's obvious.
https://forum.wordreference.com/threads/peas-in-a-pot.1092162/
So Gay men don't have mothers, sisters, grandmothers or female friends? What fucking planet do you live on?
Your own unequivocally qualifies.
LOL, I remember my brother telling me how he taught his daughters about "the birds and, the bees", he had gotten two dolls from Mattel, Barbie and, Ken, that were gender correct and, told them using those dolls.
Your post at 1.17 seemed to hint that homosexual parents were more dangerous. I posted 1.72 as a way of saying that heterosexual parents weren't always proper parents.
I didn't have to worry about how to tell my Son about the birds and bees, as he walked on before he was old enough to learn about that. So it was my Daughter who was the one I had to deal with. So.....I got out the same High School Biology book that my Mother used to teach me about that subject and used it to teach my Daughter. And I still have that book. I was as frank and up front with her as my Mother had been with me, and left room for any questions she might have later. It was better that she learn the truth from me than the fallacies from those who really don't know themselves. She came home one day and told me that one of the girls at school had told her that babies were found in cabbage patches. We both got a big laugh out of that.
Yep, my brother is a retired nurse who has a Masters in psychology, I think that helped a lot with him, me, I did what I had felt like doing early on, I told my sons about the birds and, the bees and, then told them, "If you get a girl pregnant you will have to deal with me first and, then we will go see her father", as far as I know they didn't get a girl pregnant until they were married to that girl. My daughters were different, I sat at home on date night waiting for the young man to show up sharpening my knives.
"Andrea Yates drowned her five children in the bathtub. She started with John, Paul, and Luke, and then laid them in her bed. She then drowned Mary, whom she left floating in the tub. Noah came in and asked what was wrong with Mary. He then ran, but she soon caught and drowned him. She left him floating in the tub and laid Mary in John's arms in the bed. She then called the police repeatedly saying she needed an officer but would not say why."
"While in prison, Yates stated she had considered killing the children for two years, adding that they thought she was not a good mother and claimed her sons were developing improperly. She told her jail psychiatrist: "It was the seventh deadly sin. My children weren't righteous. They stumbled because I was evil. The way I was raising them, they could never be saved. They were doomed to perish in the fires of hell." She told her jail psychiatrist that Satan influenced her children and made them more disobedient."
So I guess if we're using single incidents to paint a whole community we shouldn't allow Christians to adopt either, right PJ?
That must have been a very impressive sight. And I think must have made a big impression on the dates. When my Father could not be home on date nights, he had one of his police buddies keep an eye on my date and I. I never told my dates about the surveillance for fear they would freak out. But, one night one of the guys walked up to the car where my date and I were watching a movie at a drive-in theater, and asked my date for his driver's license. It was then that I had to explain why the man wanted to know if he had a valid license. The guy never asked me out again.
Neither do heterosexual couples. So what's your point? Why do you target gay parents?
exactly what I'm trying to say. You have a knack for getting in my brain and figuring out what I'm trying to say.
I'm loving these dating stories.
GMR sitting up sharpening his knives is laugh out loud funny
thank you - i try my best to understand
i think, in this case, it's pretty easy to figure out what you are trying to communicate on this topic (in my opinion anyway, maybe we just think differently than some other people do ?) 
You took it wrong.
I used it as an example to prove all same sex-ex homes aren't loving environments for children as some have suggested.
The story is about same-sex couples adopting children, not heterosexual couples. I stayed on topic.
Do you believe that there is a legitimate reason to deny an LGB couple the ability to adopt that doesn't also apply to a heterosexual couple?
But your posts imply that same sex couples are not capable of being good adoptive parents or should not be allowed to adopt.
LOL, I can understand that. The young men would come into the house and see me sharpening my knives, they were for my job as a cook or, chef, depending one when in my life it was, anyway they would ask me about them and, I'd tell them the purpose behind each knife, when I got to my Buck knife I'd tell them it was for castrating pigs, living in a country setting they got the idea.
That's much more 'personal' than sitting on the stoop with a shotgun...
I live here and very proud of our state.
This action taken by CT is a good reason to be proud of it.
Congratulations, Connecticut!
Now let's see if we can get the other 49 to follow along
I doubt the southern or Midwest states will follow along.
Not as long as we have Republican majority politicians.
I'm sure that there are plenty of Republicans who support gay rights, gay marriage and gay adoption. The problem is with that half of the party who I would consider conservative Republican extremists, those who identified as "deplorable" when it was defined as those who are sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic and racist. It's that part of the Republican party, who also happen to be Trumps most fervent supporters, who will never allow gays to be treated with respect and as equals and recognize that they can be just as great a parent as any other American.
They're probably far and few in between.
At least here in California I've heard many Republicans call themselves "socially liberal, fiscally conservative" and while they still consider themselves Republicans, they didn't vote for Trump and do not support the right wing extremists and evangelical Republicans who seem to want to push their faith into their politics. A few have abandoned the Republican party altogether and now consider themselves libertarians, but they do exist.
They sound like a cross between Republicans and Democrats. Perhaps they are Republicrats? Or maybe Democans?
Applauding states that overcome personal biases and look to the betterment of their populace!
Most adults would agree children growing up a loving, nurturing environment is not only best for the child it's best for our society as a whole. Sexual preference has absolutely nothing to do with a person's ability to love or nurture.