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The Slap (NT Meta)

  

Category:  Other

Via:  perrie-halpern  •  9 years ago  •  200 comments

The Slap (NT Meta)

Last night I had a huge headache from the days turmoil and took the evening off to watch my TV shows. I have been following this mini-series called The Slap. It's the story of one family and their friends and the events that happen at a birthday party. We bear witness to the pivotal moment, when a bratty little boy is slapped inappropriately by an unrelated family friend and the progression of this singular act is told each week, as perceived by each member who witnessed it. 2056_discussions.jpg

I have found the show a very interesting exercise in its analysis of human nature and perception. But last night as I watched the show, I didnt realize the parallels it would have until I went to close NT down for the evening before going to bed, and found a meta article that left me feeling bewildered. After reading the article and the comments made by the author and the members, I felt as if a massive slap was laid on the site, and although each member of NT had their own perception of recent events on the site, the perspectives were just as complex and diverse as the characters on the show.

I guess my role here is the sites matriarch. The person that people go to for advice, complaints, anger, ideas. I am also the person who tries to mitigate the various slaps and the damage they cause on the site. But just like the family matriarch on the show, I can only offer advice, listen and sooth. I cant make anyone do anything they dont want to do that is outside the scope of the CoC. And just like the adult children and friends in the show, the members will do as they please, despite any pleas from me to the contrary.

But what I can tell you about the various slaps that go on, is that they happen on both sides of the political spectrum. I know since they are told to me in confidence daily. So I am well aware that the slapping goes both ways. People are slapped in so many ways, and each slap actually feeds the next one. What are these slaps? Members feel slapped when they see an inflammatory headline. When theres no real discussion on an article, but rather comments that derail. When they get one line snarky remarks that do nothing but add rancor. When they receive personal insults and innuendo from another member. These are just a few ways that members are slapped. And with each slap there is fallout. Some slap back in kind, but others will take to non-participation, since lets face it, no one likes to be slapped. Eventually things begin to unravel, and that is where we are at. We are a family on the brink of not talking to one another. So I guess the question is, does only the matriarch care about the family, or do the adult children care about it, too? Do they not think about how to make their family, NT a better place or are the willing to tear it apart over their petty differences? I cant answer that.

At the end of the day, left or right, we must be able to air our differences and work together if we really want to keep the site together. To all the naysayers I say, if you are not willing to fix the problem, then you are the problem. To those of you who just watch, I understand why. To those who are willing to make a change in the interaction here on the site, I know you care about NT.

Our family is years in the making, and just like any family, we are always going to have our differences. This is normal. But slapping each other never ends well. The outcome is usually people deciding it isnt worth it. I can try the my hardest as the matriarch to keep us together, but we are all adults here and people must understand that they alone are responsible for their own actions and not blame the other person. So look inward and ask yourself, who have I slapped? That would be a good start.


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Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Jim,

Gotta disagree. If someone is talking to you in an insulting manner, it should be reported. If you don't like their POV, you have the option of debating it with them or moving on. We chose our actions... and those who post stuff that is offensive to us, it is fine to tell them that. But slapping them only makes NT feel like a combat zone. Even I find it mind numbing and it wasn't always this way. We can all do better.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Very well put Enoch!

At one time, I was studying to be an administrator. We were given the book "How to make friends and influence people". I have to say that the book might be as old as the hills but when it comes to human nature, we haven't changed a bit. It has been a guide for me most of my adult life.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Max,

I do recognize that there are people here who follow the "Do as I say not as I do" attitude and yes they do complain to me, which does drive me crazy. I don't deny it. But also our words that we chose, well.. you know. They do amp up situations.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

LMAO!!

Me too!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

A hypocrite.

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    9 years ago

I was using racist as one example of an accusation , one of the more commonly used ones . But the principal could be applied to just about any accusation . As far as that previous comment about "another political website " , which one ? Who's comment ?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Here are the rules to political website that some here attend:

I think it is a reality check.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Grin.gif

 
 
 
Petey Coober
Freshman Silent
link   Petey Coober    9 years ago

How do you react when someone calls you out on your own ignorance ? Not well in my experience .

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

OK, that is one way... But still report it instead of leaving the dead avatars around!

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

Perrie

Well thought out and statedand the analogy to "The Slap" was masterful

It is highly unlikely that more rules is the answer to the never ending insult exchange masquerading as discussion and debate on the front page, but as you suggest treating each other with respect while aggressively disagreeing with the other's viewpoint on an issue will clear the miasma currently being endured.

As you know I have become very selective in my participation, not because I am suddenly without opinions or ideas, but rather because the struggle became more tiresome than rewarding.

We, the members, can make this site work as you and others envisioned it in the beginning (and many of us still envision as possible) but you cannot do it alone - - -

We have seen a number of meta articles about this and similar topics and always there seems to be a coming together of what everyone is going to do and changes that are going to be made in how we act and then the article is forgotten and everyone returns to their old ways.

Hopefully it will be different this time.

Thanks you for taking to time to post this article, field the comments and mostly for caring about "our" site, where we can speak our mind, but where we could also mind our manners a little better.

Thanks again.

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

I'll be honest, Perrie. I'm a fighter. I love a great discussion, but if it turns into a fight, I rarely get it worse than I give. This ISN'T a family for me, with the exception of my one private group. I don't like a lot of the people here. That's not an attack, it's simply fact. In any group, 70+% will not be people with whomI care to interact.. IT's that simple.

I respect what you do here. But it's impossible to do it correctly AND make everyone happy. You have my sympathies.

 
 
 
Que
Freshman Silent
link   Que    9 years ago

Although I joined Newstalkers a while ago, I just recently began posting articles here and joining in the discussion. I post on several other sites and Newstalkers is by far the most congenial and the best moderated site. I think that is because of the strong moderation and I would encourage you to continue to do so. I certainly appreciate it.

Here is a comment about trolls that I put in one of my articles .The last half of the article is an article about the behavior of trolls and how to deal with them:

Exposure would probably work with sock puppets,as those controlling them do not wish to be exposed.Those who troll for the fun of upsetting people would likely enjoy the diversion off topic, deny being a troll, and heap abuse on anyone whoevensuggested their motives were not pure.A good strategy is to just ignore trolls. If one wants to confront the lies and distortions, it is more effective to write a separate article refuting their premises. Running up a large number of comments on a trolls article is simply feeding the troll, giving them more opportunities to respond and enriching paid trolls. Clicking on trolls links only runs up the hit count of denier sites, making them appear more important than they are and possibly adding to their advertising value.

In most cases, ensuring civilityis up to the blog moderators.Blog sites can discourage trolling with good policies and strong moderation. Those who attack others or claim obvious lies as fact should not get posted. Repeat offenders should be banned or blacklisted. The trolls may claim violations of freedom of speech or censorship.If they do, invite them to resubmit their postswith valid references, in a civil manner, and without personal attacks. They will likely disappear. Dont we wish?

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Participates
link   pat wilson    9 years ago

I post a lot of one liners because I don't think it always takes lots of words to make a point. Some of them are snarky responses to inane comments or stupid seed/article titles. I loose patience with seeded articles that are glaringly inaccurate and very easily disproved. If a member just seeds article willy nilly with no thought to accuracy it really pisses me off.

I'm trying to be nice.22.gif

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

Let's all strive to take the higher path of positivity this spring.

Indeed!

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

But I'm positively afraid of heights!!!!! Grin.gif

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

First of all Raven, I am moderating this article, so there will be no personal attacks.

ATTACK! ATTACK! ATTACK!Grin.gif

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

If those rules were enforced here, we'd have a membership of 10...

Much less then that. It's not possible to have non-stilted conversation without violating at least some of those rules!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     9 years ago

Taken our rules....and what, the rest of the comment is missing.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

This list of things we can NOT say is too long and is WAAAAAY to restrictive!

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

Are we all supposed to light some incense and start singing kumbaya yet!!

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

I prefer "All we are saying...... is Give piece of ass..... er, give PEACE a CHANCE"

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I am a mouthy, smart-assed, highly opinionated mother fucker and will continue to be just the way I am and have been for the past years. I will not and am not ever going to change from how I always have been!

Please note the lack of a smiley face.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

How do you react when someone calls you out on your own ignorance ?

Why is it ignorance? How do you know what the other guy is thinking? Don't you think a line of questioning might be valuable instead of jumping to conclusions?

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

Me too! Hi, you mouthy, smart-assed,opinionated motherfucker! Welcome to the club!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Robert,

I think that there has been a level of comfort that people got used to when it came to their comments. I think that the only way to handle it might just be the way I am handling it on this article, by deleting the comments in their entirety. If people don't want to do that, but if people don't fall in line, I will.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

(Joining the conversation after seven pages of Replies.)

The nitty-gritty is

We are a family on the brink of not talking to one another. So I guess the question is does only the matriarch care about the family, or do their adult children care about it, too?

To reformulate a bit: Are members more concerned about the health of the site or about "winning"?

Lots of people have tempers -- I certainly do. So escalation comes quickly. If someone lights me up, there's no chance I won't react, probably even more strongly. The only way to avoid this is... to not start. We have quite a few members who specialize in drive-by trolling. (missing something? Read my first comment) It's tiresome. Calling in a mod, every time it happens? Seriously? Have we nothing better to do?

Carpet-bombing the Front Page is another form of putting one's own ego above the health of the site. (Unless it's paid work...)

Worthwhile conversation exists only when differing ideas are confronted, POLITELY. It's rare, and getting rarer.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I hope were not the only bastards who are in it!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Well Neale,

I am not asking you to like everyone. I am asking that you would behave as you would with any job you have. You might not like them either... but you have to be civil. Otherwise, I am willing to take this hardcore with the deletions.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

In partial answer. I am NOT an adult. I am a man.

Adult man is an oxymoron.

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

Well, I'm not a bastard (Mom and Pop were married for 11 months before I came out) but there are at least a few of us in here!

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Pretty soon it became a desire to see how pissed we could make one another. Seeds and articles were written that we KNEW would get under the skin of another member.

I agree with Bruce.

OMG! Did I just say that I agree with Bruce?

The hour is indeed grave...

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

J.C.,

First thank you for your kind words. I have tried to make this as user friendly as possible. So have the mods here, too!

I think you summed it up well about trolls. We only let them be trolls by feeding them. It something that we all know, but somehow, keep letting it get the better of us. Again, self control is necessary. Take a step back and breath.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I'm a fighter. I love a great discussion, but if it turns into a fight, I rarely get it worse than I give. This ISN'T a family for me, with the exception of my one private group. I don't like a lot of the people here.

And I only like slightly more people.

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

When Mama Ain't Happy....

Rest assured, my Dear, I follow your rules- homie don't mess wit' no redheaded honey!!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Pat,

Honestly, I have not seen anything from you that I find offensive.

The irony here is that I have seen far worse and they are not saying a word. Total lack of introspection about who they are.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

That list is to another politics site. It is not ours.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Randy, the answer to that (again) was no. But civility yes.

Neale

Yuck, Yuck.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I'm not really a bastard either, but I am a son of a bitch. My mother told me.

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

Because Annette might read this, I won't take it any farther...........

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Then please note, if you are aiming your smart ass at some member and it is a known CoC violation it will be gone.

Notice the lack of a smiley face.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Don't worry, I won't push you overGrin.gif

 
 
 
Neale Osborn
Freshman Silent
link   Neale Osborn    9 years ago

If I go over the edge, I'll drag ALL Y'ALL over with me! (I'll need the padding when we hit bottom!) Grin.gif

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

You know there is an expression about God.

He hears all prayers but sometimes the answer is no.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

There is no god..

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I mostly aim it at public figures, but some of these public figures are members of one or more different ethnic groups. I will not refrain from calling one or more of these public figures JUST about anything I want to. HOWEVER it will always be because that's what I think THEY are, not the group they are from, though some from those groups will accuse me of it anyway and I don't give a fuck if they do.

If you want an example I will give it in private.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   Buzz of the Orient    9 years ago

I'm happy you're sticking it out here on NT, Raven Wing, because it would be a great loss to this site if we could no longer see your magnificent creative images.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I moved 2000 miles to get away from my family...and most of them are glad for it...

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

OK back again.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I don't like my brother - but I love him to death.

I love most of my sisters, but I don't like most of them worth a damn.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

With some people and there are a few here, ignoring them is the worst thing to do. It just encourages them to see how close to breaking the rules they can get...and that's my territory.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

People come here for all the different reasons you can think of, but sometimes I come here just to SCREAM!!!!!! It's my therapy and I don't want to piss off the fine people who paid good money for the houses surrounding mine.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
link   Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    9 years ago

It would be easier to practicecommon sense etiquette if people would stop pissing me off every day hour minute 30 seconds.

(insert angel emoticon here)

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Ah Bob, i knew you would present an interesting comment.

To reformulate a bit: Are members more concerned about the health of the site or about "winning"?

Well, yes and no. Obviously the health of the site is important to most of the members ( including me), since without a site how can we discuss? Which leads me to the second part, the concept of "Winning". I think that is a bit problematic for me. I do realize that some of us come here to "win". But there is a whole different group that comes here to learn. I know I have. So I don't see those things as being necessarily related... other than to win, you still need a site.

And may I point out that there are many ways to win. Keeping your integrity is one. Your ethics another. Saving face another. Winning is different things to different people.

Tempers... yes.. people have tempers. I'll let you in with a dirty secret of mine. I have a terrible temper once I lose it. It just takes a long time to do that. I guess if you feel your temper rising, walk away and take a deep breath. If you have a drive by troll, don't get involved. We will take care of it.

Carpet bombing the front page has been dealt with to those that do it.

As for being polite... how are you in the real world? Try that.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   Buzz of the Orient    9 years ago

With rules like those, Shakespeare would rise out of his grave and say again: "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

I ask the members here...how hard is it to totally ignore a handful of people? Most everyone here on NT knows who they are, yet, they continue to feed them by giving them a stage to work from, which only encourages them to become even worse. Why let those few people continue to control and destroy NT for everyone else. Just stop being their feeder and/or enabler.

I totally agree. And thanks Raven.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Gene,

Everyday we get reports of attacks that turn out to be nothing more than "I don't like that guy" kind of stuff. That is why the answer is no.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

LMAO!

You're a pisser!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Aww.. that's sweet Buzz.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

Life has gotten in the way, lately... I promise to moderate more!

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

I love you, Enoch! Sure wish you could come home to my mother's house with me, and soothe me with your gentle words! Smile.gif

Because all seasons are represented there-- all the seasons of life.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

My mom (during an argument about me dropping out of high school) called me a son of a bitch and I said then you know what that makes you and she got all 4'10" (I was about 5'9" back then) of herself up in my face and said "And don't you forget it!". My mom is one of the great broads (and that's a compliment) of all time.Grin.gif

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I'll jopin y'all. Im a #1 asshole amd all those other words y'all used

Welcome as far as I'm concerned, but I have to give you a heads up that, while I am a vet, I'm ex-Air Force. It's been my experience that some Marines don't consider us to be real military.Grin.gif

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

I get that Marsha. Life is something none of us have control of. But any little bit of help is appreciated.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

I read "The Primal Scream"... I guess it works for some.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Oh brother... boy talk.

lucycard19.jpg

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

Says she who always pulls away the football!Smile.gif

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

I don't always hit what I'm aiming at though, so be warned! At my age it get's harder and harder to lift my leg that high!Smile.gif

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
link   Randy    9 years ago

At that point all she can do is to notify the next of kin.Grin.gif

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    9 years ago
 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    9 years ago
 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
link   Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    9 years ago

A self-assessment, or were you pointing a finger in someone else's direction?

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

Whose side are you on?

Why yours of course sweetie. I understand your position. And, I wholeheartedly agree with it.

I AM ON THE SIDE OF NEWSTALKERS!

Just in case anyone didn't understand that.

Those who want it to be a good place are willing to make it work, those who aren't will whine and cry till they get tired and leave, it is a CHOICE. But all it takes is a commitment to not play the game anymore.

Anyone who makes said commitment is welcome to contribute to a great place and a great group of personages.

Those to choose not to, well, they are welcome also, but expect the consequences of your free choice. what's been built here is seldom seen on the internet without such rules as Perrie posted above. This site is a testament that we as adults, do not need to be controlled by such draconian rules. By not acting like adults we prove that we do need such rules.

The choice is an individual one.

Choose wisely...

Love ya girl, keep going, what you've built can only be destroyed if we collectively as a group allow it.

and it seems like the group is saying that we aren't going to allow it.

Thank God...

NWM... Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

We agree, NWM, once again.

We must all accept the responsibilities of our actions-- and one of the consequences of that action is that we can all work together to build the site, or continue to tear it down. I'm all for building, personally.

Smile.gif

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    9 years ago

A self-assessment, or were you pointing a finger in someone else's direction?

None of the above Sister. My funny bone was acting up. Feeling paranoid?

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
link   Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    9 years ago

Feeling paranoid?

Pfffttttt. Never. Unlessyou are talking about my preoccupation with the little guy that is alwaysfollowing me or spying on me in the shower or listening to my phone calls or hiding in that one part of the frozen food aisle where the light never works or breaking into the dry cleaners at night to press the perfect creases out of my silk blend capris or hiding in the gardening shed and laughing out loudwhen it takes me 15 minutes to start the lawn mower or is waiting to spring out of any body of water deeper than 3 inches or is constantly moving things from where I put them including but not limited to keys purse car bills important correspondence the last two cookies in the pantry my list of on-line passwords or...

I'm sorry...what was the question?

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     9 years ago

It's a good thing to feel a little ''paranoid'', it's makes for an interesting group of characters that follow you around.

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    9 years ago

Well that sounds pretty good Sister. I have some of those same afflictions.......

2059_discussions.jpg?width=721

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

Perrie

Sounds very reasonable to me

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
link   Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    9 years ago

But it's just the onetiny littledude. The others are just disembodied voices thatmake medo things...but in a Flip Wilson as Geraldine Jones, the-devil-made-me-do-it, kind of way.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     9 years ago

I love Geraldine.

14549flipwilson1.jpg

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
link   Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    9 years ago

I had forgotten how surprisingly attractive Geraldine was.

Sammy Davis Jr. brings back fond memories, as well.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

the way I am handling it on this article, by deleting the comments in their entirety

Yes. This is one of the things that is needed. Authors must have control of their articles. Red Rules are a poor stopgap, because they still require the intervention of a Mod.

Equally necessary is FP cleanup. Good articles get lost amid the red meat, and fall off too quickly. Meanwhile, it is childishly easy to keep the red meat up. One member and the author can maintain an article indefinitely, playing ping-pong. The only way I can see to lessen this problem is to limit each member's number of FP articles -- no new posting as long as there's already one there. A troll-pair could maintain two articles (one each), but no more.

An FP limit would encourage the members who are more and more discouraged when they look at the "quality" of the FP nowadays.

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

An FP limit would encourage the members who are more and more discouraged when they look at the "quality" of the FP nowadays.

I doubt the FP limit will be very popular (I would be okay with it) but your right on target about the qualityof FP content of late

Authors must have control of their articles.

In principal I agree with you on this, but I am not sure that it would be used wisely and fairly by all authors or if it would be used to eliminate opposing views. Is Perrie talking about authors deleting comments or moderators>

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Thanks NWM and Dowser. It's good to know that you are on board.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Total paranoia is total awareness.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
link   Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    9 years ago

Thank goodness. I would hate to becuckoo all by myself.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Gene,

Sometimes a comment is easy to see as offensive and it is removed. Other times it is more ambiguous, and I think that is where you and I are miss communicating. If we remove that kind of a post and it wasn't meant as an insult, than the other party is ticked off, and for the record, this has happened. We try hard to be fair to everyone, but that doesn't mean everyone will be happy.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     9 years ago

A quote from that great American, Foghorn Leghorn.

''If your not a little bit crazy, you'll go completely insane''

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

I doubt the FP limit will be very popular

I doubt it, too. I author a lot, and this would probably limit my articles. But the site's health is more important. Carpet-bombing and ping-pong are wrecking the FP.

I am not sure that it would be used wisely and fairly by all authors

I agree that that is a risk. But the answer is simple: if you don't like the way an author runs their articles, don't go there. There are several members whose articles I never bother to visit, because I know how the "conversation" will go down, and I'm not interested.

If an authors wants visitors, then they must manage their articles well.

(I hope that author-moderation will be available in the new platform Perrie is preparing.)

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

Please supply a link. I've been purple penning all morning, (except when I took a nap).

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Here is the problem with authors deleting.

First, this system doesn't allow it. It does on the blogs.

Second, if the system allowed it, removed comments would be gone forever. The mods are the people who log the comments right now.

The new platform will have different features, and I have a dedicated server, which I am hoping I can configure to have this as an option, if the group so votes on it.

As for the front page, I do have these present other options;Newest articles, Most Popular, featured (which means I pick them and I am not fond of that idea). We could try any of these.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

jwc,

I would like to know where that is. I am wasting no time in taking care of this business.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Took a nap?!?!?!

How dare you?

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Second, if the system allowed it, removed comments would be gone forever.

I see no problem with this, since we are assuming author-moderation. The only reason to conserve deletion is for an ulterior review process, which is illogical with author-moderation.

I hope you will think about the long-term consequences of FP rules. It seems obvious that the current rules are childishly easy to subvert, for any (even very small) group that wants to "occupy" the FP. I think we see it happening. And it isn't healthy for the site, in the long run.

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

Perrie

Would it be possible that articles would stay on the front page for a set period (new articles)after being posted (unless naturally falling off due to lack of participation) and then would be available in the sub-forums (N&P, H, S & T etc) unless they met the criteria to be among "most popular" or "featured"

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Robert,

I have no idea of what you are talking about. Could you be less cryptic?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

I see no problem with this, since we are assuming author-moderation. The only reason to conserve deletion is for an ulterior review process, which is illogical with author-moderation.

Well yes and no. On NV the authors could self delete a comment, but it could also be abused. That is when they could recover comments. I had this happen to me, where everyone of my comments were deleted, just because it was me, and I had an outing with the authors friend.

I hope you will think about the long-term consequences of FP rules. It seems obvious that the current rules are childishly easy to subvert, for any (even very small) group that wants to "occupy" the FP. I think we see it happening. And it isn't healthy for the site, in the long run.

I agree. Ideas? And as I said, I could just have only the newest article on there... but then articles could fall off the board very quickly.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

On this system, there is no way to set how long an article would stay up if it was "newest articles". Each new article would push the others further down the line and eventually off the board. This would happen at different rates due to how busy the board was. They would go into the sub forums, which would be found on the tabs at the top of the page. I am not sure what "most popular" does, since I have never tried it. We could give it a go.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

What about decreasing the limit on the number of articles one author can post per day to 3? If we check the number of "bumps", limit that to 1 bump, and there is a limit to 3 articles, maybe that would help...

I've been going with one comment when posted and one comment to bump. But I haven't deleted any articles. Smile.gif

We tried another system, once, and no one commented because they were mad about it...

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

But it is always good to have an opportunity to explain actual misperceptions of "offenses," instead of just some unsupported claims.

How 'bout this actual offense verbatim

"You are in fact full of shit."

Someone left that yesterday as a "rebuttal" to another member's comment.

Any misconception as to whether or not it could be construed as "offensive"?

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

What I was suggesting is that unless the article is selected as featured or earns the most popular level it would drop off the front page after a set period of time and be available only in the sub-forums

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

It's an idea Dowser. But it would put a lot of stress on the mods to keep track of the bumping.. which is a concern.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Thanks for the laugh. That guy is funny.

Not so much, Robert.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Yeah, that is what I thought you would say. Still, it will not prevent the outcome.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

The system will allow for only one choice, so I can't feature on the front page and have most popular. And who would pick what would be featured? It's a bit of a problem.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Robert,

You are being purposely obtuse. If you don't like the answer that a person gave you then press on with the questioning." Your full of shit" is a CoC violation and shuts down any further discussion, which is the issue here. You are free not to like Mac's comment, but you are not free to insult.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

That response, "you are, in fact, full of shit," was after "I am in fact educating."

That statement actually is representative of the biggest problem on NT. That being people who think we should worship their every utterance. They think they fart, and facts come out.

The Guru Syndrome.

Those are the people who want you to enforce their self perception.

You should be more discriminating, and less full of yourself.. Then you could laugh too.

This is the essence of the issue those who cannot deal with dissenting opinions project their character flaw on those who make viable arguments they cannot factually rebut and hurl personal insults instead.

In fact, the "full of shit comment" was made as the "third-man-in," it involved a conversation between two other members.

A disdain for truth that countermands incorrect, intentional misrepresentations or outright liesiswhat often gets posted, that in the form of insults. The most egregious and most frequent offender among us, when called out, is always good for one more insult thus perpetuating the very "Guru Syndrome," "Final Authority," and last word crap to which he feigns righteous indignation.

His net effect is two-fold egging on others like him and driving those who are not like him from good debate.

Whatever the basis of his malcontent "personality," manifesting it on NT is toxic.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

PLEASE stop trying to make NT suitable for babies.

When one plays a "man" in cyberspace, any threat to his macho-bravado brings out his adolescent tendencies and highlights his arrested emotional development.

Equating obnoxious behavior with maturity, that by referencing as "babies,"those with enough intelligence to call you out for making NT an unpleasant venue makes it even more unpleasant.

Confrontation from the shadows tough guy.

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    9 years ago

Well It Looks Like Right Now Would Be A Good Time For An Intermission

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

Robert, this is a "Social News Site"-- meaning that some social conventions of decent behavior and conversation should be observed by the members.

Telling someone they are full of shit is not a way to conduct oneself. I would refute your statement by asking, "Can you prove that you are not?" In my view, it is the pot calling the kettle black.

When you exert yourself, you offer insightful and very intelligent comments. Posting an insult is denigrating yourself and your own intelligence, which I know is real.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

If one desires and promotes nothing but snark, I'm sure there are lots of places to find it, even here-- what about in Heated Discussions?

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

I Never said I had a solution only restating the problem

Sorry about that

Smile.gif

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Let me put it this way and be very clear about it. The snark, when directed personally, will be deleted. End of story.

 
 
 
LoneRanger01
Freshman Silent
link   LoneRanger01    9 years ago

"Can you refute "you are, in fact, full of shit?""...this just begs for a reply....

with a healthy dose of Exlax yes, I can refute the fact that I am full of shit.... 2060_discussions.jpg

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Robert,

I am trying to make NT user friendly. And I would have loved to see you walk over to your boss and tell them they were full of shit. I just don't see that happening, unless your boss was a boob.

And while we are making personal observations, how about the considering that you never, ever conceded a point. Is that not being a guru?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

LOL!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

LMAO!!! You read my mind!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

LMAO...You two...

I am supposed to be serious here. How can I be when I am laugh this hard.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

Robert, could I moderate this article, I would delete your first sentence. There is no need for this.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

"You are, in fact, full of shit," is perfect in the real world, AND in the cyber world. There are no babysitters out there, and there should be no babysitters in here.

I used to make 6 figures with an indoor parking space plus other perks to copy and paste paper trails to be placed on-the-record where outcomes had real-life significance

and the most gratifying perk of all was to smack the shit out of tough-talkers like yourself, that in a formal venue where one peep uttered in your style would result in a formal reprimand, possible job termination and A LOST CASE.

And my counterpart "opponent" on the other side of the table and myself, once the issue-at-hand was decided one-way-or-the-other, would often shake hands and show mutual respect.

Wanting an end to name-calling, personal insults and complaints about posting facts that validate positions isn't asking for "babysitting," it's requesting the adolescent-like "adults" in the room cease making the room uninhabitable.

You can have the last word; I trust it will reflect on you as do most of your others.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

"You are, in fact, full of shit," is perfect in the real world, AND in the cyber world.

Let's try this again... and this time with some honesty. Tell me you would walk over to your boss and tell him He was "full of shit".

But you know the answer to this question... you just don't like the question.

This has nothing to do with being a babysitter. It has to do with being a civil human being. Are you saying that you have no capacity to be civil or just that you pick and chose when to do it? If so, please pick here to use it.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

I did Dowser.

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

Robert Said,

There are no babysitters out there, and there should be no babysitters in here.

You are in fact absolutely incorrect on this one. EVERY website that offers serious commentary and discussion has it's set of rules. after 20+ years of doing this I have a smidgen of experience with this. The Best sites are the ones that have a strict set of rules with absolute enforcement. As Perrie pointed out earlier in the thread.

Understand this, EVERY SITE WORTH A DAMN HAS THESE BEHAVIOR ABSOLUTES AS THEIR FOUNDATION.

Your depiction above shows that you really aren't on any good, well run sites and never have been. Otherwise you would understand this and wouldn't make such a whiny crybaby complaint.

Both sides have their members that have behavioral problems. What Perrie is saying is she has had enough, you either play like adults, or you will be moderated. And those that don't like it know what their choice is.

The ideal is to bring forth good involved conversation and content, to leave behind the sniveling tripe that drives people away.

Some people can handle the challenge, others cannot.

Time to separate the adults from the children, and it's about damn time, IMHO.

This site is unique, it proves the naysayers wrong, that we as people CAN be civil online without draconian rules and regulations. But there are those that wish to prove otherwise. those that can't handle it I guess can find an appropriate forum that will accept their brand of social shiving.

But to remain viable here, your going to need to scabbard your shivs & swords, cap your lances, and wet down your magazines.

The war is over.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

Thanks. I knew you were on top of things!

Much better than I, for sure! Grin.gif

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

Go ahead and laugh girl, you need it.

Besides we got your back... Smile.gif

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

Yep!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Well said NWM!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

This isn't about coddling, it is about following rules. In real life, we have social norms. Those are our rules by which we interact in the world.

But if you want to talk about Bullshit... leaving one line snipes is the ultimate derail... to what you by your judgment is blather. You don't like the blather, counter it with some meaningful content, or leave it alone.

Those are the rules in this social construct.

And if you want to see how long you would last, sign up for debate politics...

You have no idea how good you have it here.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago
 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     9 years ago

Some are more full of shit than others. Constipation causes ''brain farts'', since some seem to have their brains located in their ass....I've seen quite a few of those ''brain farts'' on this article.

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

Wasting time on idiotsis denigrating to myself and harmful to my intelligence.

Then why do it? Why bother insulting someone that you think of as an idiot?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Hey.. my brain farts all day....

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

"I find it interesting that some of the most prolific "slappers" on NT are MIA in this article. I can only feel they don't think it applies in any way to them, or have no interest in trying to build a better site for everyone."

Yeah I noticed that, too Raven.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     9 years ago

Possibly, but you have periods of ''non-farting'', thus the brain is engaged.

Others, not so much, it's like being stuck on stupid, or the endless fart for many.Smile.gif

 
 
 
Nigel Dogberry
Freshman Silent
link   Nigel Dogberry    9 years ago
 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Robert,

I know that you don't like moderation, but sadly it has led to people who don't want to participate. The freestyle that you refer, still has its boundaries which have been clearly spelled out a long time ago.

If this had been NV you would have been long gone... as demonstrated to you by Newsvine, so please don't make any comparisons.

The people who you call babies and whiners would shock you. Some you might even call compatriots. The issue has become a global one, whether you like it or not. And since you are not receiving the emails and I am... I have more judgment on what is going on here.

So this is not up for discussion. The CoC has been here since the first one was voted on and it will be enforced.

So either get with the program or find a venue that will put up with snarky one liners.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

And therein lies the key to the variations of discontent. Everything people do, say and post is a reflection of them. Not you, not me. So there is no reason to take one bit of it personally.

Feronia,

While I agree with you on a philosophical level, it becomes hard to have a serious discussion if everytime you post a comment, someone comes on and says, "You're an Idiot". Not only does it disturb the discussion, adds no content, and actually often deflects when a point is trying to be made, it becomes just tiresome. It's like the kid in high school, who punches you in the shoulder every time you go to the locker... it says a lot about them, but it ruins your experience of school. And while you could punch back with a brawl breaking out, more often than not, you will end up in the Principal's office...

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

LOL!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Gene,

I am going to give you an example of why that isn't always true.

If someone posts to you:

"I think it is f$cked up that you think that", it might be offensive to you... but it wouldn't be a CoC violation, since it is an opinion. If they say "You are f$cked up", then it is a violation. Subtle but a difference. And since we allow cursing on the site, that could happen. BTW some people find cursing offensive, but it is not a violation per se.

 
 
 
LoneRanger01
Freshman Silent
link   LoneRanger01    9 years ago

YIKES! Perrie,... that body doesn't have any kidneys. and without kidneys you can't filter out the shit. and if you can't filter out the shit you can't make new blood. and if you can't make new blood you can't stimulate the brain, and if you can't stimulate the brain you can't learn anything new,....

wow, some are masters of the universe and some are masters of shit, ...Me, I lucky enough to be both the Master of a Universe full of shit....

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

I can put up an umbrella. Yes. I do.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Article temporarily closed until I return.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Gene,

I will meet you halfway. If you give warning that you find something offensive, like using offensive language, and they do it again, I will have the comment removed. But I am also smart enough to know that when you say, "Bless you" that you are really saying "Go to hell". So don't do, what you don't like and then more than half the problems will go away.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

YIKES! Perrie,... that body doesn't have any kidneys.

That's because I had them for dinner with fava beans and a fine Chianti... favavavavaava...

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Ideas?

The best I can find is to limit the number articles any one member may have on the FP at one time. It's easy to manage, and would force us to post only the best we find.

How many "active" members are we? Thirty, maybe? So a two-per-person limit would encourage those who don't post often, and discourage the carpet-bombers.

 
 
 
Nigel Dogberry
Freshman Silent
link   Nigel Dogberry    9 years ago

You won't catch me loling.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Bob,

On the front page we avg. about 45-50 in a week. In the groups actually a lot more, they just never come out due to the tone of the front page.

I was accused of setting policy without asking the group, so I will put this to a vote. I think you make a valid point... it's just that the group should be able to decide how many posts in a day.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

How about LMAO?

You do know that I am kidding right?

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

If there are 45-50 active members, then perhaps the limit should be one per person.

Or try two, and see how it goes.

As for voting... It's your site, so you decide the process.

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

Perrie

What if a member is allowed to put up as many original articles as they wish (or 2 or 3), but is limited to 1 seed of a media article per day

It would encourage original content and likely provide a little more variety in the topics we see on the front page as well

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    9 years ago

Gene,

I am aware it is a southern tradition, since I lived in the south, hence why I know what it means, and a phrase that is meant as an insult is still an insult. And from context everyone gets it. And so it becomes an issue of skirting the CoC.

There is nothing here that has to do with minority rules. The whole point of this article is to get more civil conversation, which I believe is what you want, too.

I hate doing meta, yet sometimes it has to be done. It is a huge burden on me, since I actually take a lot of time answering everyone. I know that not all my answers will be taken well, but my job here is to make sure that I please the majority of the people.... not just the few. I didn't write the CoC. The group did. I have to write an update based on our last vote. This is how the majority of people are pleased.

Thank you for caring.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

RiO,

What if a member is allowed to put up as many original articles as they wish (or 2 or 3), but is limited to 1 seed of a media article per day

Good idea. The only danger I can see is seeds without links. Probably not a problem.

I definitely agree that original writing should not be limited.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Perrie,

Mike is being Lucy , if you see what I mean.

Someone must act. You or me. Your choice.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Perrie,

"I think it is f$cked up that you think that", it might be offensive to you... but it wouldn't be a CoC violation, since it is an opinion. If they say "You are f$cked up", then it is a violation.

I've said this before: Insulting a person's thinking is exactly the same as insulting the person. No one, no one ever , makes any difference between their ideas and themselves.

This way of applying the CoC is an engraved invitation to skirting. As an illustration: "Your opinion on this, Perrie, is incredibly stupid !"

Grin.gif

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Good luck, Perrie...

 
 
 
Robert in Ohio
Professor Guide
link   Robert in Ohio    9 years ago

"I think that the only way to handle it might just be the way I am handling it on this article, by deleting the comments in their entirety."

I agree 100%. Because by leaving any part of their comment will allow them and others to continue to build off what is left. Totally deleting the entire comment will leave nothing for fuel.

Absolutely!

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Yes.

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

That figures, buried in a hole somewhere. Smile.gif

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago
1. This is a term used by the people of the southern United States particularly near the Gulf of Mexico to express to someone that they are an idiot without saying such harsh words.

2. "You are an idiot but I like you and care about you so I dont want to hurt your feelings."
 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

No kidneys = "pissed OFF"?

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Very educational, Mac. Thanks.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

Southern Insults 101: Things Your Mama Taught You

By Kerri Case |April 30, 2014

Later, when shes insulted by Rhett Butler, she does her level best to hit him where it hurts, Sir, you are no gentleman. That probably would have been enough to cut your average fellow, but Rhett was an above average guy who quickly returned fire, And you, Miss, are no lady.

Fortunately, time goes on and Southerners have become more creative with their swearing. I dont mean four-letter words, although used properly, those can pack a punch. There are certain times when letting something fly is terribly liberating.But any fool who made it through a middle school locker room can use those words. Southerners are possessed of what I like to call, nice meanness. If you wrote the words anyone used down on paper, it would look just fine. But delivered with the right inflection, they are devastating.

BLESS YOUR HEART

If your children make it past third grade and do not yet understand that this is the lead-in to some of the most vile insults, they are not going far in life. If you attach some version of this phrase to even the most dreadful of insults, its totally fine to say.

Bless his heart, he is dumb as a sack of rocks.

Bless her heart, she has no fashion sense at all.

Adding cotton-picking or pea-picking to the phrase is typically a double insult.

Bless your cotton-picking heart, you really have no idea how this works, do you?

GOD LOVE EM

This is used similarly to bless your heart. It softens the blow on harsh statements.

God love him, hes a little slow on the uptake.

She is dressed like a $10 Memphis whore, God love her.

ILL PRAY FOR YOU

This is often used after someone makes a totally insane assertion or is about to make a terrible decision.

Them: Ive decided to quit my job to pursue a career as a trapeze performer.
You: Ill pray for you.

HOW NICE FOR YOU

This response is usually prompted when someone makes a claim to be higher than his actual station in life or expresses interest in something no one else can fathom why thats exciting.

Him: I have the largest earthworm collection west of the Mississippi.
You: How nice for you.

Her: Im a writer. Ive kept a journal every day since second grade.
You: How nice for you.

MEMORABLE/INTERESTING/CREATIVE/DIFFERENT

If you cant say something nice, use words that say nothing at all.

That sweater sure is memorable.

Thats an interesting way to decorate your home.

You know, I would have never thought to color my hair quite that shade. Youre so creative.

That movie sure was different.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING

Theres always that guy. The one who gives WAY too much personal information when youve only just met one another or the gal who gives details far beyond what you need to hear while eating.

Him: You know, they said that rash was incurable, but what do they know. I havent had any itchingyou knowdown theresince I started seeing the psychic.
You: Wellthank you for sharing.

IM JUST SAYIN

This particular phrase is used quite often by mamas trying to talk their children out of poor decisions.

I realize dying your hair purple before a job interview seems like a way to stand out from the crowd. Im just sayin Im not sure this company is looking for employees with Easter egg colored hair.

Of course, if none of these insults are appropriate for the particular situation youre in, never fear. The icy cold, unflinching stare is enough to make any mortal rethink the idea that the South is a warm climate.

 
 
 
Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty
Freshman Silent
link   Broliver "TheSquirrel" Stagnasty    9 years ago

or they did not know about it....

 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

We've been out target practicing and I'm about ready for another nap, too! Sorry, I'm old and need lots of naps. Smile.gif

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

I don't know but I think I need to make a general comment on what I see beginning to happen here.

The Board has two dominant posting personality sets here "A" persuasion people and "B" persuasion people.

The issue seems to center on how many posts are made of one persuasion over the other.

Right now the "A" pers are feeling dominated by the "B" pers. The discussion is slanting towards limiting content addition to the site to one or two seeds per day. the issue mentioned is one of flooding the board with "B" pers type articles to the disdain and disenfranchising of "A" pers articles.

For many years the site itself has had a policy of allowing five newly seeded articles per day, allowing for articles that were previously posted and bumped from previous days.

This worked well for many years and allowed users the freedom to post as they see fit without any undue burden or limitation and was so comfortable that was largely ignored for a long period of time. Of course there were many times where that limit was bypassed by both sides but it really wasn't an issue. (as long as the "A" pers felt that they were dominant)

Recently we have had a "B" pers sign on to the board who is a prolific poster/seeder, which caused all kinds of issues with "A" pers who disapprove of this particular "B" per and raised havoc with the board requiring the policy of the board to be directly restated in very loud terms.

Today, such feelings still persist that the "A" pers are not getting their fair share of the front page for their drivel and they are constantly being bombarded by "B" pers drivel. and are demanding fairness/ equal time.

My question?

Why would any site owner, who cares about their creation, limit content creation to satisfy one certain side of their membership. Particularly when current policy worked for so long a period of time. (when the "A" pers were dominant)

You cannot arbitrarily change the content of a free posting site to favor one side over the other. The best course of action is to allow the long standing policy to hold since it has worked for so long without trouble.

The current issue under discussion is behavior, acting like the adults we are not the children we disolve into when we are feeling butthurt (to steal an expression) cause we are not seeing articles we want to see in the amounts we want to see them, or, they are not getting the play that side wants to see or normally expects to see.

You cannot allow this, it is another form of slap.

I know it seems reasonable on the surface, but it never works in practice.

The only real answer is to have those "A" pers that feel they do not have enough representation post more content, not limit the "B" pers ability to post content. Since the "A" pers only seed one or two a day, they want the "B" pers limited to the same, by creating a more restrictive rule based upon their pattern of posting.

This kind of regulation of content only serves to limit content. It has never worked in the past, I know cause I tried it on one of my sites and have seen other sites try it and fail. It drives those posting away even if they are "B" pers.

The technical term is content balancing.

We need to be aware of such and the potential for this happening here. Affirmative Action, although aiming for a lofty goal, does not work in the long run. If anything the Colleges and Universities clearly established that in the real world and abandoned it 30 years ago.

WE should not start it here under any circumstances.

If the "A" pers are thinking that they do not have enough content, then they should take responsibility to add more, not demand a limit on the "B" pers content.

But this does bring up another issue that is valid.

A content war. Trivial postings from one side against the other side to dominate the FP which is handled by the current policy as long as it is enforced.

That's all I wanted to say, be aware of those claiming there is a problem when there really isn't.

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

IT IS NOT ALL DEROGATORY IN COMMENTS.

You do say! Smile.gif

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

Well Brother, Bless Your Heart!

Both You and Mac!

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    9 years ago

Trivial postings from one side against the other side to dominate the FP which is handled by the current policy as long as it is enforced.

That's the essential statement. It is not true.

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

"OH MY LORD!"

It's a conjunctive salutation to a statement.

Reading the inflection of the person using it is paramount when attempting to understand it.

With certain inflections imputed to it, it can be it's own statement.

And what is with the southerners angle, I've heard that salutation used all over the country, mostly by older people, younger people view it as quaint and to be avoided in conversations in the younger crowd lest you be categorized as a hick.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

I fear that limiting the number of discussions in a "discussion" forum might be counter-productive; some days are sparsely "attended" and limiting posts might make such days almost completely stagnant.

Indeed, this is about decorum; how many outcomes can result from a "slap"? Either a slap-back or a "fuck you I'm outta' here because why do I need to show up somewhere to be slapped!"

I look at it this way when addressing someone in cyberspace, would you address that individual in the same manner if he was standing in front of you? If not, why not, and if so

Really?

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

What'd I do?

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

I fear that limiting the number of discussions in a "discussion" forum might be counter-productive; some days are sparsely "attended" and limiting posts might make such days almost completely stagnant.

Thank you Mac for making this point, I forgot it in my posting above...

That is the other reason we shouldn't be thinking about changing a long standing policy on content creation that works.

I agree 100%

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

I didn't make them up, Mike; I posted the history and meanings.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

Thanks, Marine being an east coast city boy, I got concerned.

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

It was a friendly thank you brother, Southern style...Smile.gif

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Guide
link   Nowhere Man    9 years ago

I wish it was as simple as that Robert, but it isn't.

 
 
 
A. Macarthur
Professor Guide
link   A. Macarthur    9 years ago

It came from

Country Outfitter Style

I'm not taking a position, Mike, just providing information with regard to a discrepancy that arose in the thread.

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
link   sixpick    9 years ago

 
 
 
LoneRanger01
Freshman Silent
link   LoneRanger01    9 years ago

:I didn't make them up, Mike; I posted the history and meanings."

actually and for the record...that is not the history, those meanings were originated from and by Jeff Foxworthy from his Blue Collar Tour....just so you know.

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
link   XXJefferson51    9 years ago
Very well written and reasoned. I came from a different environment and when there was hamstrung by not being able to respond to other people's seeds and comments. I'd get there's an error posting your message replies. So, I couldnt comment on that site except on whatever I seeded. So I seeded a lot as I am a political junkie and love to debate and discuss issues. I have adjusted here to the limit here and have been following it. As to what I say to other members, the time I insult one personally, call them a name, put them down because of what they believe will be the first time I will have done so. Why reinforce an old rule and when it is complied with, advocate for changing it?
 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
link   XXJefferson51    9 years ago
I address people politely and with respect in my real world and here. I don't tbink even if we are anonymous here that we should treat people here any less than we would our own co workers, friends, church members, etc. that's my take.
 
 
 
Dowser
Sophomore Quiet
link   Dowser    9 years ago

I have never seen you, personally, as anything other than polite.

 
 

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