All Fisherman Are Liars 'cept You and Me and I'm Not Sure About You Anymore.
Ok folks this article is about fishing. I'm sure that we have some fisherpeople on NT and they have caught some really really big fish.
Here are the rules to this article.
1. No lies, well no big lies about the ''one that got away''
2. If you claim a huge fish a photo is required else you be branded as someone that takes liberties with the truth.
3. You cannot use a photo of someone else or one without you in the photo with the fish. If you photoshop one you'll be sentenced to digging for nightcrawlers for 3 months.
4. Ice fishing catches don't count. Well if the fish is bigger than the hole it counts.
I will start this conversation with a photo of a medimum sized largemouth bass. 10 lbs 5 ozs.
I will say that the second one that I caught that day and released was so big that the photo of it weighted 5 lbs...The whole truth and nothin' but the truth.
Let the stories began...
NO FRICKIN' POLITICS
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I have to go looking for photos.
This was my big catch the last time we went fishing
What, wait is that the bait?
you're making fun of my fish. I was really proud when I caught that!
It's probably 5 lbs but since the person taking the photo was quite a distance away it looks small.
Now's that?
Ok....I'll take it.
pssstttt....it was really only about a pound and half but it was one of the bigger ones caught that day
I can see that you're squeezing it to make it look smaller, because you don't like to brag.
And then it did something unspeakable in my hand.....
LOL
And another one from a time before
As you can see, I'm doing any lying here. I'm bad at lying
Hmmmm, you're not in the photo Trout.
BTW did you see the ''TROUT'' in the article avatar...It's wasn't giggling...
Rule 2 and 3 apply...LOL
oops
But do I get to use the worms?
and that's a salmon.....
Of course you get to keep and use the worms except for the couple of dozen that I'm going to confiscate.
Are you going to stand over my shoulder while I dig?
No, I'm going to depend on your honesty..Oh wait, your a fisherwoman...LOL
One uncredited photo and you're branded for life.....
LMAO
"It isn't that all fishermen are liars, it's just that a lot of liars like to fish". Quote on plaque I saw!
My first trip to Galveston with the grandkids, we went on a pleasure fishing boat cruise. Supposed to be fishing for redfish. I managed to hook a manta ray. Suctioned itself to bottom for a few minutes, but I got him up eventually. The guide stepped on him and cut his spike off. Weird thing. Some guys hang around the dock and offer to clean fish for a buck or two, and I wanted to see how they did it with the ray. Pretty cool--they peel the skin off. It exposed a layer of meat that was long and round. The dude cut it up and told us that when you order scallops, sometimes that was what you really got, and they sure did look like them when he cut it up! He wanted to know if I wanted the meat, but I told him he could have it!
BTW, my youngest grandson caught two redfish that were keepers! He was about 10, and thrilled to death!
Ha, good one.
Rule 2 and 3 apply...LOL, no photos but a good story. Actually I've gone fishing for red fish on the Texas coast (Port Aransas) a number of times. Never caught a ray though but I have heard that about passing off their meat as scallops.
Whe kids catch fish they are usuall jumping out of their skin with excitment and I can bet you grandson was over the moon with excitment.
It sure got him "hooked"!. He fishes at least once a week now, and bought a boat.
I can still remember the first one I caught, even though it was 64 years ago.
Between the thumb and hand of the Michigan mitten is the section of Lake Huron called Saginaw Bay. Right at the head of the bay is a small lagoon that used to have a pier sticking out over it. It was part of the Bay City State Park and kids with their dads were especially welcomed. My dad had bought me a rod and reel set and showed me how to use it. Then we went out on to the pier and got lines in the water. The spoilsport wouldn't let me bait the hook. What the heck, I was six; I could handle a wiggling worm and a sharp fishhook without sticking myself; oops, disregard that part, I still can't do that. I caught a Bullhead and a Perch, each about four inches long. I insisted that we take them home and that my dad cook them for my supper (I never have trusted my mother's cooking ability with fish). Dad was really nice and cooked them up for me. He didn't even suggest that I eat them raw as he did the first time I shot a rabbit. That part was OK, though. My mom could cook rabbit really well, she just had problems with fish.
A great memory TTGA...
I can bait a hook with a wiggling worm without sticking myself! Let's go fishing and I'll bait your hook but you have to take my fish off the hook....and gut it
I luvs fishing....and have caught some Big Ones in my day, but due to luving fish for dinner, I spent my time fileting, cooking and eating them, instead of taking pictures.
We did get a 10 pound lobster from my brothers outings on a code fishing boat in Chatham Mass.(Actually true) Had to take it to a "Red Lobster" to get it cooked, as we didn't have a pot to cook it in. They did it for free, as long as they could take a picture of it and use it in an advertisement. I didn't bitch one bit about that request. I just wanted to eat.....with lots of butter involved.
Rule 2 and 3 apply.
A 10 lb lobster, now that is a story for sure and taking it to the ''Red Lobster''...LOLOL good one.
I "Pinky Swear".....it's true !
My camera is at the bottom of an inlet on the Jersey coast, lol.
We went out on an uncles 35 footer at 4AM after an all nighter.
The Captain took us out 100 miles to get past the chop and small craft warning zone.
Apparently I was the only one who was able to sleep and not get sick...
After an agonizing morning of watching a half dozen friends and relatives puking over the side of the boat
we called it quits and headed back to NJ or DE which ever we could crash into first,
but trolled 2 lines and finally caught something about 50 miles out.
I grabbed one pole and a friend took the other.
After a half an hour his line broke.
Twice I almost lost the pole and still have the permanent bruises ( varicose patches) in one thigh to prove it.
Eventually (seemed like hours ) we landed an impressive Mahi Mahi the size of which has been debated for over 45 years.
On the way into the inlet our forward progress was suddenly halted with a sickening crunch.
the engine hatch went twenty feet straight up in the air followed by a whoosh of steam
then a second or two of utter silence.
While calling MAYday on the radio Uncle pushed those with life jackets on, overboard.
The boat started to go backwards with water coming in where the transom used to be.
We emptied the life jacket locker but there was no time as the boat disappeared beneath our feet.
In a matter of seconds where our boat once floated, up popped a telephone pole
which we could cling to while trying to get those crappy vests on.
Oh and the cooler, with the only fish we caught that day.
My fish.
As I said my camera ( and phone) are gone.
I offer this picture as to what the camera could contain.
but alas
when I saw pictures of how big the damned fish could have been I just ate the sucker
and it was so small, I couldn't share any if I wanted to, lol....
Now, there was a time we went Blue fishing and they were just jumpin' in d'boat,
LMAO, now that is quite the story...Your killin' me with it.
And they hit nothin' but net...LOL
A Dolphin (Mahi Mahi) … nice fish!
A "game" dolphin, lol, not to be confused with the mammals related to Flipper.
Yes, good eating for sure.
East Grand Traverse Bay. Morning run. I'm the taller fat guy...
Wait a minute. Your the taller fat guy.
One guy is standing on an elevated walk and the other is standing in a hole...LOL...Which one are you again?
BTW, nice fish and is that Lund your boat?
No its my buddies. A Lund Tyee, nice little boat. He uses it for fishing on the Mississippi mainly.
Here is my boat.
A boat as a giant beer coolor...Perfect.
Either your one fishing partner is a Baptist, or you've never learned that you should always take two Baptists with you.
All Fisherman Are Liars 'cept You and Me and I'm Not Sure About You Anymore.
Lol, so true.
Most of my good ones go back to analog pictures ..... that is paper and not digital. I'm gonna see if i can dig some up and scan them. I've got some doozies from the early days of the original Chinook/Coho planting in Lake Michigan.
Hand me the shovel and coffee can. Sadly, now that I have a camera handy, almost always, I don't get out much.
True story of the "one that got away."
Largest black bass I landed was out of a farm pond. She was the length of my arm, and easily bigger than the 2nd largest (9 lb 3 oz), which I did weigh. At the time, cell phones were popular, but none had cameras. As I was battling the behemoth, I heard the pond owner leaving his drive for the county road. With rod in one hand, I pulled the old Nokia out of my pocket, and dialed his number with the other. I advised that I was just about to land the mother of all bass, and that he needed to return with a camera, so that we could memorialize the feat.
Upon quitting the call, I proceeded to land the beauty. With no scales, or camera, I held her length to my left arm to "measure" her. From nose to tail, she was almost exactly the length of my extended arm, from tip to pit. Being mindful of her well-being, I quickly returned her to the water, holding her by the lip, there on the bank. It seemed like an eternity before I finally heard the sound of the owner's truck coming down the road to the pond. My catch had quieted in the time that I had her lipped, and her calm demeanor apparently relaxed me as well. As my friend pulled near the pond, where I knelt at the water's edge, she found some resolve and gave one head shake. Freed from my grip, she slowly drifted back to the stump she had ben laying beside when I hooked her. What a memory. Thanks to my carelessness, that's all I have.
That is quite the story Rex....Sounds like a real beauty and it's great that you returned her to the water unharmed.
All of my bass go back to fight another day.
Always the priority.
The only ones of my Bass that went back to fight another day were the ones that weren't keepers, the rest ended up in the pan. I must have been a better fisherman when I was a kid.. .
Because about 40 years later...
Unfortunately I have no photos of the only Muskie I ever caught, which was the biggest fresh water fish I ever caught, although the biggest was the Mahi Mahi I caught off the Kona coast of Hawaii, but my photos from Hawaii are all colour slides back in storage in Toronto, and I don't know when or even if I will ever return there.
Buzz the top photo is largemouth bass. The lower is a smallmouth, which are generally a smaller fish than the largemouth but great fighters.
The largemouth ones were caught in Lake Erie off a fishing launch with a guide, my father and a few of his friends. I loved to be out in the lake, would sit on top of the boat and eat my sandwiches at lunchtime - never got sick on a boat. The smallmouth was caught about 100 feet off my lakeside home dock. The bottom drops and it's weedy there - best spot for fishing in the lake. Back in those days Lake Erie and my lake were so clear you could look down and watch the fish take the bait.
I'm an average fisher. And a typical Floridian now too.
I live an hour away from Disney and 10 minutes from Lake Okeechobee and rarely visit either.
Wasn't always this way. When I lived in Tampa my wife was a fishing widow. My friend of 30 years now would be with me and we'd be in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico whacking grouper and snapper.
On other mornings I was up at 3 am and on the river by 4:30...
I came to the realization that it really wasn't the fish. It was being able to watch the sun rise, see the change of shifts from night animals to day animals working. Being with a friend that knows I love him without any doubts or discomforts.
Sometimes I would take a client out with me...I don't play golf and didn't talk business while fishing. Sometimes I would catch them watching the sun rise and I already knew I had a good business relationship ahead of me.
By 8 am my head was clear, and a calm was present when on my own.
I have had the pleasure of fishing as a tourist and that too has it's common language among enthusiasts as I found in Istanbul, Sfax, and Marbella.
But nothing like watching the sun rise 5 minutes from home.
I'm an hour and a half from Orlando (north) and I do know what your saying re the sunrise. I love it and can sit on my front porch and watch the sun come up.
I know exactly where you are and you have some beautiful areas around you. Just west of you is the Ocala National Forest one of my favorite places in the world. The springs around you are amazing!
Oh yeah! Watching the sun rise, then a dip in constant 72 degree water....that'll wake your ass up in the morning!
The Ocala National Forest is east of me. I live in the southern part of Ocala.
Yeah the springs are great and 72 degrees in the early AM does wake you up in a hurry.
They aren't speckled trout. They're speckled perch.
We have the "Speckled Perch Festival" every year here...I think that's when they crown Miss Squash Queen or something too. Sometimes this place has that "Bedford Falls / George Bailey" atmosphere which keeps me here.
Crappie and specs spawn just after bass do here.
We host the Bassmaster Elite tournament here.
My mother in law lives in Chiefland.
That's Manatee country.
You'll see plenty of them soon, they're everywhere down here.
Head to any powerplant in a month or so...100's !
Last January when we were visiting Florida we went to a power plant near St. Pete Beach and there were hundreds of them lying in the warm water...Quite the sight.
Next time bring a head of lettuce, they love that stuff.
Around here it is hard to fish without catching a saltwater catfish. Nasty buggers. You can't grab them or hold on to them. Their dorsal fins and side fins are barbed and sharp. They can slice you up real quick. One time my brother got mad at one and decided to stomp on it. It sliced right through his shoe and cut open the bottom of his foot.
I don't know who thought of it first but we take a metal coat hanger and bend it to make a handle on one end and a hook on the other. Hold the line and drag the hooked end along the line until it is against the catfish mouth where the hook is embedded and then flip it around and the fish usually flips off. Don't have to touch it.
In my younger days people use to go flounder gigging at night. Never see people doing that anymore.
Sometimes one can catch speckled trout. The redfish have a size limit, I believe.
I actually haven't fished in a long time. I got to where I would catch and release. My last time the fish swallowed the hook and I tore up the insides of the poor fish trying to get the hook out, so it died anyway. I haven't been fishing since.
And they will slime the shit out of you, your line, the floor of your boat...
It's a defense tactic so they can be slippery.
Oh, I've got plenty tall tales and of course no cameras. All of these are from my childhood. Something happened when I became an adult. Only fished when my daughter was young and she had her own little tackle box, rod and reel.
The start of my tall tales began while in 2nd grade. My dad and I went fishing with a buddy of his in a small little boat with small outboard somewhere on the Potomac.
It was a place where you had to motor your boat through a tunnel running under the C&O canal to get to the river. Like so many places on the Potomac, rocks everywhere.
Somewhere along the way snapped the shear pin from prop contact with a rock. Somehow we got to shore and started repairs. My job was to stay out of trouble.
Dad's style of fishing was lightest line and tackle as possible. 6lb test was a "heavy" line to him.
While repairing the boat he casts a line and sets it down then continues on the repairs.
At some point, something hit the line. He's working the line and really, he lets the thing run. not much else he could do with it.
Soon the prop is fixed we're back in the boat and following that fish while dad tries to wear it down without breaking the line.
we'll we followed that fish to Virginia and back to Maryland and then half way to Virginia again before we were finally able to get that along side the boat.
I can't recall the details of how they got that fish in the boat. It was much bigger than the net. But, somehow they got in on board.
Of course, the next day in school I had to tell everyone the fish story.
My teacher gave me an envelope to give my parents. The teachers letter said something about controlling my imagination and tall tales.
Mom gave me a letter to give to the teacher the next morning saying something to the effect of the story was true and some some other stuff.
I only remember the number 48. I forgot if that was the weight or length.
What I do remember was, that was a lot of gifilte fish.
End of story 1.
Look out dave.
That bear is on a mission.
I'm outta there.
I did some salmon fishing in Alaska, silver salmon. I don't know the difference between King, Silver, and Coho so it's all salmon to me.
Never saw a grizzly tho
It does get confusing as there are several types of salmon and annoyingly they have more than one name. The two i'm most familiar with were planted in the Great Lakes to control an overpopulation problem with a Alewives.
Here we have Silver Salmon, more commonly known as Coho Salmon here. Then you have the bigger, better tasting IMO, King Salmon also known as Chinook. I know its annoying, like streets with more than one name annoying but thats the scoop on Great Lakes Salmon.
Other than that i know of Sockeye Salmon because thats the canned stuff i put in my Salmon patties when the fresh stuff runs out. Never fished Sockeye but i hope to someday
It does get confusing with the different names. They all taste mighty good though.
Mr Giggles smokes them. I like a salmon fillet grilled. The best fish I ever had was in Alaska. We got cod, salmon, halibut....
That would be a lot of fun. I'd love to spend a few weeks doing that and fixing some fish right there on the spot.
All those names confuse the heck out of me too.
Come to think of it Catfish can suffer from local naming conventions.
They sure do.
This is the best salmon I've ever had....When we lived in Vegas a friend had a home in Alaska and Vegas. He would bring back FRESH COPPER RIVER SALMON...
It was outstanding.
Yep agreed, if you can get it, King (Chinook) Salmon is the best.
Almost too good to smoke ..... but not quite.
Hey Trout, got a question for ya. How do you smoke a fish, do you use a pipe or, rolling paper and, then what kind of rolling papers do you use?
Very large ones.....
When I lived in Anchorage, my neighbor was a commercial salmon smoker. He would sell me smoked salmon for 25 cents a pound and a six pack. When I ended up back in the lower 48 and saw the price of smoked salmon at the local super markets, I went into sticker shock.
I know, right?
Hell, when I moved back to the lower 48 I went into culture shock because all the "seafood" places were catfish and shrimp!
No more halibut, cod, or salmon!!!!!!!
Thank god for Webber grills and smokers
That looks very tasty Kavika.
My favorite fish were always the fist couple we would catch and fix them right there. Regardless of of what kind of fish...well, except "mud cat". Those were always free to go.
Any perch, crappie, trout, bass, blue or channel cat went straight in the pan.
It's been a long time since I've been fishing, I've never really been fishing on a boat, I prefer piers or, the shoreline, brooks and, streams for the shoreline and, bays for the piers. I have caught some nice ones off of piers but, can't say I have any pictures of them, they all ended up on the dinner table, if they were big enough, otherwise they got thrown back in to grow up.
Kavika, you're the best storyteller on NT, so maybe it's time you gave all of us a laugh and tell the story about fishing with Can't Catch Fish again - a lot of new members will not have have read it.
Funny that you should mention that Buzz. I talked to ''Can't Catch Fish'' today. He will be coming to Florida in Feb or March to do some bass fishing.. LOL...
I'll have to repost that story as soon as I finish with our project.
Why funny? Remember what I told you about a mental telepathic connection?
Great minds or blood brothers with a different mother...LOL
I used to go fishing off the coast of Washington with an old work friend of mine. Usually Kings and Silvers, get our limit, clean them then drop them off at a local smoke house where they pin-bone them and smoke them....very good, fairly cheap.
Anyway...
Always wanted to hook a 40 pound king salmon. In all the years he and I went fishing out there, it was my personal, "fishing goal".
On one trip, we both had Friday off, so we decided to take his boat out to the coast and spend a night eating crappy burritos and drinking at the local bar. We drank until ~1:30am? We staggered back to the boat and crashed for a few hours, then launched the boat at 5am. Big boat, 32 foot with a cabin and all the extra goodies. I was going to go up front and try to sleep but, "The Bar" was rough, so I just sat next to the helm out of the wind. Well, those burritos did their job. So I ripped ass and about 15 seconds later my buddy leans down and says, "I have a 30 mph wind in my face and I got some of that...you fucking STINK!!!!". Beer and burritos...what do you expect? Roses? Anyway...
We get to our fishing spot and start trolling. Nothing but more bad gas for 2 hours. Then.... I hooked into one. I fought it for a while and got it up to the boat, Micky netted it and his eyes got big... "That's that 40 you wanted!!!!" We get it on board, hook out, smile, hi fives...grab the scale.... 39 pounds, 6 ounces.
I grabbed salmon, released it. I was done.. LOL
Great story, Mr. Frost.
I SACRIFICE PRINCIPLE FOR LOVE -- A True Story
Years ago, a (former) girl friend of mine made an embarrassing, wrong selection on a multiple choice exam question; she identified a "dogma" as a "female puppy."
There were other reasons (some "bitchy") that relationship went south - not relevant beyond this point in the story, however.
Dogmas - "principles laid down by an authority as being incontrovertibly true" - interestingly, like dogs, can sometimes bite you in the ass. In an unlikely, but nonetheless applicable such dogma, a fishing-dogma of mine, in fact...bit me!
Yes, I said "fishing," and I know an explanation is required because I've opened a "can-of-worms" (pun sort of intended).
Actually, I'm talking grasshoppers...not worms, and a net...not a can.
I'm one of those fly-fisherman/environmentalist types and we don't fish with live bait, neither do we fish with hooks that have barbs (those reverse curved projections near the hook point). Fish will swallow live bait if at first they don't detect the hook, and consequently will swallow the hook which usually kills them. A barbless hook makes its removal from a fish's mouth, smooth and easy.
I'm a "catch-and-release" guy. That's the dogma - catch the fish, land the fish, gently unhook the fish, release the fish unharmed. I'm also an adult (although I do remind my wife occasionally that while "we can't stop the aging process, I can always act immature if I feel like") - and sometimes I do "feel like."
Being an "adult," on days when all those fishing around me are catching fish with bait - worms and minnows, I will still fish with an artificial insect imitation (a "fly") that I tied using thread, feathers and other materials which a hooked fish will know, once "tasting" it, to try and spit out. On such days, I don't catch many fish and being an adult, I stand by my catch-and-release dogma accepting the fact that I don't need to catch fish to enjoy the experience.
My grandson on the other hand, is a child. If he's not catching fish, it's just about impossible for him (after a half-hour or so), to accept...which is difficult for me to accept because when I'm fishing with my grandson, I never want it to end.
Late last summer, neither my grandson nor I, nor anyone fishing near us, were catching fish - not with bait, not with flies...not with anything.
Ideology, dogma and the emotional pragmatism of a grandfather's love...collided. From my dark past as a bait fisherman (hey, I went to the B.A. meetings, o.k.?)...sorry...it stands for "Baitfishers Anonymous," from my past, I pulled out a long-forsaken strategy...no...a formula, a compromise of principle, the rejection of a dogma...for the sake of love...for the sake of making my grandson happy.
Grasshoppers! All around the edge of the lake, like snakes-in-the-grass...scratch that unnecessary metaphor...like the grasshoppers they were...sat, yes... grasshoppers! While not the easiest of creatures to put firmly on a fishhook, once impaled and in the water, they catch fish - all kinds of fish. Even on a hot day in bright sunlight, a hungry bass, a curious trout and damn near any sunfish in America will rise from the shade of a submerged rock or a stand of water lilies to the distressed kicking of a grasshopper that wants out.
With my grandson kicking the grass in front of him as he walked, and I, waiting some ten feet ahead with a net to catch the grasshoppers fleeing in panic from his foot steps, one-at-a-time, the grasshoppers and my grandson made me compromise my fishing principles, my environmentalist ethic, my dogma.
It was in part, "vanity" that caused me to gloat (inwardly to myself) and to praise openly, over-and-over, my grandson, as baffled, fishless veteran anglers watched him catch-and-release while they couldn't even...catch.
I will personally, never go back to the insensitive and evil practice of bait fishing. I am, after all, a man of principle.
But I am also a grandfather; and to fish with my grandson is to receive a gift from the cosmos...from God...from whoever or whatever put men, grandfathers, grandchildren, bass, trout, those not-so-smart sunfish and even...grasshoppers down here.
For those who haven't experienced the words-can-never-express feeling of having a grandchild's fishy hands and fingers give you a hug, if/when you do, like a fish or two I've known, you also will be "caught." And you will then, without the slightest need to think about it, wish to forever...avoid the release.
"Practicing on the Front Porch" -- My Grandson -- Roughly 15 Years Ago
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NOTE: My Notification setting are all screwed up; I'm missing a lot of these articles … glad I found this one.
Gotta love it Mac.
And strictly for illustrative purposes …
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