Rate Trump's Military Parade for the FAKE POTUS, Real Five Time DRAFT DODGER!
It rained on Trump's Parade.
GOD must be displeased with the accused rapist and sexual predator, whose nickname is "Grab Them By the Pus*y!"
Our Chief Political Reporter, Steve Bunions (a former DEFROCKED, Whitehouse Adviser to the "COMMANDER-OF-DISEASED-FILLED-DEATH CAMPS") reported, from his TRASH SPEWN lair in the basement of the Washington Monument, that "it was the smallest 4th of July Celebration in the history of the nation, and possibly the world"!
Now, who can dispute Trump's top adviser?
"Trump", Steve added, somewhat incoherently, "cried himself to sleep" due to the sparse turnout, and blamed Obama and Hillary and Michelle for the small turn out.
Bunions was unable to suppress his resentment toward our "Commander-In-Lies", and, thus, thrust the dagger deep into the oversized gut of the "Commander-In-Cheetos" by divulging "confidential and personal information" that Steve gleaned from some of the Whitehouse staffers by bribing them with cash.
Mr. Bunions assured EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT READ IT, that this is "insider information", and, he must keep his "sauces secret". If not, Sarah Huckabee Slanders, who provided the information would not turn "Tricks for Him".
Steve extensive research (17 minutes with a hooker) revealed what the press has known for a long time, that nearly everyone in the Whitehouse hates Trump, including Melania.
The Secret Service is so "pissed" at our "Fake POTUS, real POS", that they refer to " the donald" as "666".
"666 is on the move again. Clear the bathrooms. He is in a bad mood."
Our much-clubbed reporter, Bunions, acknowledged, that the most recent person to leave the Whitehouse confirmed to him that Trump "had to have his bed changed six times during the night. He loves to SHAT the bed!" . . . claims his super-secret source, Kelly Ann Con Job!
Apparently, the Commander-In-Poop, shats himself on a regular basis. Pence, the VP, is the designated, "AZZ WIPE"!
Other, high-level people in the Whitehouse, Kerchner, and Ivanka, who are secretly plotting to steal Trump's office, leaked to Bunions, or, on him, that "the damp Donald" is especially "active" when his feelings are slighted by the left-leaning press.
Of course, we, here, at the less than prestigious EAT THE PRESS - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With It (It Scratches) always require a disreputable collaborating "sauce" for our "in house, special intel" report.
We have "happily" confirmed the above information with White House's Chief-Custodian, "Shaggy" Washington-Jefferson-Davis, who confided in Bunions "that his staff had the unfortunate duties of fumigating The Dumpster's bedroom", which sent six staffers to the hospital.
"Man, that Muther-Fucar stinks!"
"Shaggy" explained that NO ONE was able to enter "His High Azz's" room for 12 hours until every window in the Whitehouse was forced open to let the appalling stench out.
"Gorging on Mickey D's has drawbacks", explained Bunions. "I have stated that fact to the president on numerous occasions, but, to no avail. It would have been better to hit him in the noggin with an anvil than trying to talk sense into that hard-headed son of a bitch."
Steve stop trying to explain anything to Trump after The Donald's "I know more than the Generals" speech.
That is what led Trump to kick him out of the WH.
That is a very different story than the one put out by the Whitehouse Press core on Bunion's rabid departure.
HEADS UP!
This vile, piece of Journalistic Crap was written by Steve Bunions, former WhiteHouse Correspondent, now, political correspondent for EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT WIPE YOUR CAT USE IT AS A LITTER BOX!
Ok, folks, now, it is your turn, "Fellow, Pinko, Left Wing Commie Travellers"!
What is your unvarnished opinion about the FIVE-TIME DRAFT DODGER'S Military Parade for himself? Don't be shy. Let your hair down.
Weigh-in, your opinions may not be correct, or, remotely related to reality, but, they are your opinions and make great "mocking fiber" for our untrained reporters and registered "hacks".
Like Trump, we only hire the worst (mostly "winos") to cover these developing stories!
What is your opinion of the disastrous MILITARY PARADE for our Five-Time Draft Dodger?
Was it the rousing success the "DUMPSTER" claimed? Or, as everything this incompetent imposter does, just another load of "MONUMENTAL CRAP"?
Tags
Who is online
217 visitors
"I know more than the Generals!"
The "Libya" incident went well.....don't ya think ?
No!
Exactly !
Pics or it just ain't true.
[delete]
Now, now, Sister Ample Bottom, you know many "Trump Supporter" hear things that they do not see.
BTW: Have you had any intercourse with Sister Ample Bust. Is she still "burstin' out"? Man, I miss seeing her.
Now this could get interesting! Watch this space. (Smile.)
We did enjoy it.
After the first earthquake here, I went to a Dodger's Game.
Which "incident" was that....the ouster of Khaddafi or the one that rightwingers lied about so much, investigated by Republicans for two years and seven months ( that's 9 months longer than the Mueller probe) and came up with shit-all?
Personally, I found Trump's self-aggrandizing parade childish, disrespectful, and, nothing more than a cheap re-election campaign ad paid with taxpayers money.
Trump dodged the draft five times, using fraudulent means, a medical note from his father's tenant, which erroneously alleged that "the Donald" had a "bone spur," that should disqualify him.
Turns out his physician's children confirmed that their father admitted that he did it as a "favor" to his landlord, Frederich Trump, DJT's crooked daddy.
Let's see …… No NEW wars from Trump, Military personnel pulled out by Trump, but a simple "Celebration" of the "Military Folks" in this Country makes a flutter become a flat out "Cock Fight".
hmmmmmmmm…..
That really sucks don't it ?
So the best you can say is, he hasn't started a war yet, despite his trying?
Link ?
Your just doing the "Innuendo and Conjecture" CRAP.....ain't ya !
Fuuuuunnnnny !
No, it demonstrates that there are more patriots in America than "suckers".
As I understand it these days.....the Millennial "Lollipoppers" are trying to dominate !
You know the ones....the "Deserved", the "wanters", the "needers", the "I deserve a Freebie" !
Whose the "Suckers" again ?
Trump is INCOMPETENT
at all things.
Your doing well !
Trump hasn't done anything you claim in your …….. "Reporting" !
That's terrible.
And Trump made that happen over the decades ……. How ?
The CAREER CRIMINAL has not "Drained The Swamp", he has drained the Treasury!
Gotta love the "Lifer" Politicians !
Do you always bow down and kiss their rings ?
Me thinks they call that a "Fetish" !
There is only a declining population south of 4,500, and an aging one at that.
Any comment on their biggest employers? Should be a Democrat's wet dream.
Of course it is Trump's, and the Republican's, fault that it is so poor. They are the ones that forced the coal mines and tobacco companies out starting the 60's and 70's. See above linked articles.
Here is what the left is really, really pissed about.
Facts matter to get a complete picture, not some condescending picture with cherry picked facts.
So you offer up an old advertisement in which a young person seeks out the knowledge of an OLD person who proceeds to fuck him over and steal from him.
Hmmmmm......seems to be the symbol of your generation. lol
If I lived there I wouldn't be voting for Democrats because they aren't going to cut the food stamps. They have a better chance of freeing themselves from theft and redistribution of the food stamp socialists by voting for Republicans.
No, my modus operandum is to bite it off when it is thrust into me face. It doth make cowards of them all.
They vote overwhelmingly for REPUBLICANS, guided by their inherent racism and their inbred fundamentalist beliefs that GOD is a Republican.
Ignorance is NOT BLISS. It is misery.
LOBBYISTS have been buying Republican Lawmakers since the 1950s.
I am certain that you recall the incident when the Speaker of the House (John Boehner) was caught passing out checks from the Liquor Industry to Republicans about to vote on a bill coming up for a vote that would benefit that industry.
Boehner, the US 8th District Representatives hand the check out on the floor of the House, moments before the bill was voted on.
Buying votes has been going on since the inception of this country and is a bane on the integrity of our country.
Well how do you propose to feed all these unwanted children if Roe V. Wade is over turned?
Not to mention either mentally ill with a raging personality disorder or has dementia (and no reason it couldn't be both). Whatever it is, he's the biggest threat this country has faced since Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.
Anyway Donald, you must agree that Donald does walk around Washington, D.C. and well everywhere he lands with a chip on his shoulder figuratively daring anybody-somebody to knock it off, yes?
Trump:
Where do 'self-supported persons' get there money and wealth? Life's a complete cycle when it works as it should, Muva.
I would love to KNOCK IT OFF!
HA!
Reminds me of the "South Park" episode : Scott Tenorman Must Die
I'd be more to leaning on YOUR generation for that !
YOUR generation can't make up their own minds. They need someone else to TELL them what to think !
Oh the children of this president! How can they stand all this bad media ogling?! Security! Handlers! Sightings! Well, Trump did do his best to rear them up under a media spotlight! (Just hearing all the ins and outs of dear old dad - well, it could break my heart. On the other-hand, I am not a Trump!)
I needed to start my day with a smile. Reading TDS inspired hatefest material was the ticket. Thank you!
Don’t forget:
Tax cuts for the middle class top 1 percenters.
Most of the cuts went to the wealthy. Accept it.
And yet for me on the edge of the working and middle class it made a real difference in my life. And as a shareholder in mutual and exchange traded funds and individual company stock, some of what you say went to the rich actually came my way. I really don’t envy what those who earned more got. I chose to work in the social services field for reasons other than money and am grateful for what I did get.
Sensible people do not covet what others have. The issue before us is people who use their freedoms, talents, and ability to take more than what they need from the system (greedy capitalists) and return precious few of it to flow back into the system. Money is designed to flow throughout the system not meet its ultimate end in storage container systems stretched from one onshore bank to banks off-shore.
The fact is: People using money to have control of their own lives is desirable; people who manipulate money for power and extreme control over the masses is the problem!
Funny thing. That's how my day started (and still going and is now outright laughter) reading the desperate attempts of Shitbag's supporters trying to pretend he isn't the worst fukking miserable excuse for a man much less a "president" this country has ever encountered.
Well, I supplied a good 'report' for the 4th celebration by Donald. (I only saw the majority of the speechifying by Donald.) Just like I thought he would not lay back and bask in the glow of his presentation; this morning he "popped tall" on citizens tv and started in on Obama and Biden-Biden and Obama and expressions about how "great be I" and "There can be no one better than I (Donald)—bar none!" And so, he was off to one of his golf excursions, because it is how the one percent de-stress from their performances on the world stage.
Y'all know this already, of course!
I'd estimate by Saturday AM "tweet-time" he will have executed protocol - Take it all back and staff get ready for a real scorcher - hug your kids early!
There will be h-e- "double hockey sticks" to pay for that 'recruit' who let Donald appear ugly-fied for all time by a rain-splattered bullet-proof glass shield!!!
Thanks for proving my point. You have a good day now...
Well Donald, I am a tad upset. I do know what I should do about it, nevertheless.
You had a point?
I did indeed, but you aparrently did not...
Starting your day with a Smile is Job Accomplished.
I ignore him anytime he tries to talk about the military.
There is no justification for this Human Waste Budget, Trump. His loyalty is derived from the internal fears of his followers. Trump, like Hitler, exploits peoples insecurities and blames minorities for their discomfort.
All ruthless, Third World, Tin-Horn Dictators employ these tactics. Trump is not someone to be idolized.
He is someone that should be jailed or committed to a MENTAL INSTITUTION For the Criminally Insane.
Be careful who you choose to idolize. It speaks more about you than them.
This NATION is in a War Against Political CORRUPTION, and, Trump is the most corrupt person to ever illegal hold the office of POTUS.
He must be IMPEACHED, INDICTED and JAILED for numerous crime against humanity and the laws of this country.
This is not a game. We are not engaged in a Conflict of Political Ideologies. We are in a War for the SURVIVAL of this country, and, Trump, is the ENEMY OF THE STATE. He is the enemy of the people and of the planet.
Trump is an undereducated, incompetent pathological LIAR.
I agree that it’s war. Democrats and their Marxist statist ideology are the number one enemy of our Republic and our right of individualism
Did you start your day with your Morning Trump Dump? Don't forget to Wipe Your Pence. That thing is more toxic than your Trump Dump! This PSA is courtesy of EAT!
Yaawwnn.
The 4th of July celebration was the best in many decades. President Trump made millions of us proud to be Americans.
Anecdotally I have had (and they continue) nearly 1400 people like my Facebook article I wrote and photos praising President Trump for this event. Additionally, nearly 1200 have shared it which is the true mark of Facebook acceptance. Hundreds commented and more than 95% were to agree and praise and thank President Trump.
God bless America, God bless our President and his family
You overstate your case. Flies flock to cowpies in droves. Don't they?
I am not against President Trump's celebration as it turned out. But you are a harsh man in insisting your 'America' ideology for all, bar none. That makes you, at least based on your commentary, a dangerous man who must be closely watched.
While you are watching over "freedom" in quotes, did you notice that you are not vexed by that oversized Russian 'factor' and other strongmen who run their countries with closed-fists are occupying major 'real estate' in Trump's mind?
How much in control of Trump are—you and yours?
Yes I agree that it makes one a dangerous person to proclaim liberty against tyranny. But that is the calling of all who commit to follow Christ
those who worship at the altar of statist tyranny find easy refuge in denouncing this who proclaim the liberty of the individual that that Jesus proclaimed. It cost Jesus His life as it has millions of Christians who have followed and obeyed His teaching and commandments.
the Russia hoax is the biggest political farce in our nation’s history. Trump’s actions and policies have been polar opposite those of Putin.
Trump armed the Ukraine after Obama refused to do so
Increasing exports of oil and gas hurts Russia economically
rebuilding our military hurts Russia
building up our economy to its strongest in 70 years hurts Russia
standing up to Iran hurts Russia
Restoring our relationship with Israel after Obama tried to destroy it hurts Russia
the left makes themselves look like morons with their Russia/Trump claims.
How could you equate the spiritual work of Jesus Christ to ascend over sin and death to the natural state?! Did Jesus serve "mammon" or did he bow the knee in service to the highest rewarder: God?
Your vain attempt to bring Jesus down to the level of man's governing is a strong delusion. Perhaps, by now, it is incurable. You ought to be ashamed. But, you are not.
While Trump has done these things against Russia, do you admit to a dichotomy with punishing Russia while twrice sitting down in genial settings with a Russian head who matter-of-factly states he interferes in our elections, and leaves the question of whether he will interfere open to interpretation?
Where is the "hoax" —watch the short video @3.1.16 if you dare and I would like to hear your patriotic response afterwards!
When did Jesus declare your personal liberty and peace to be all encompassing? Why is it not enough that you are content within the churches and at ease in the realm of your faith? Instead, you set your sights on managing the world's systems! Nothing left over for others!
Where did Jesus instruct any saints to rally together and take down Rome?
It is possible to become a self-righteous individual or class. Self-righteousness is bane to followers of Jesus Christ.
Quite the opposite. I have no desire for large governments and especially am against them controlling anyone’s life or business
Jesus came to proclaim liberty to all who are oppressed. We have an oppressive government that seeks to control our lives, businesses, and faith. You are a worshipper of the state.
no where did Jesus EVER advocate for building governmentsor for relinquishing our personal responsibilities to any forced state collectivism which only glorifies man and not God
15 Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. 16 They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. 17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax [ a ] to Caesar or not?”
18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? 19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, 20 and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”
21 “Caesar’s,” they replied.
Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”
22 When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away. - Matthew 22:15-22
The Jews were under the thumb of a foreign government, they were occupied by Rome, and most Jews of the time believed the prophesied messiah was coming to free them of this oppression. It's why the Pharisees believed they could trap Jesus by getting him to essentially publicly admit to treason. But that wasn't what he was apparently preaching at all.
I think the current supposedly "statist" American government is far less oppressive than Rome was back then, yet you seem to believe, if Christ returned, he'd be advocating for its overthrow to put in place a Christian governed theocracy. Based on scripture this belief is sheer lunacy. What he did disrupt and undermine was the corrupt organized religion of the time run by the priests, scribes and Pharisees who were profiting off the backs of the poor and destitute. They were constantly promising their parishioners that their version of messiah was coming, one blessed by the temple, who would route Rome out of Jerusalem. Yet that is not at all what the carpenter prophet was promising, far from it.
If there is any parallel to today it would be evangelicals and religious conservatives playing the part of the priests, scribes and Pharisees, metaphorically on their street corners making big displays of their supposed piety, all while shearing the sheep and profiting off all things "God".
" 5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." - Matthew 6:5-6