Rate Trump's "MILITARY PARADE"; demanded by the COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, a FIVE time DRAFT DODGER!!
It rained on Trump's Parade. GOD must be displeased with the accused rapist and sexual predator, whose nickname is "Grab Them By the Pus*y!"
Our Chief Political Reporter, Steve Bunions, a former Whitehouse Adviser to the "COMMANDER-IN-DEATH CAMPS", reporting from his lair in the basement of the Washington Monument, stated that "it was the smallest 4th of July Celebration in the history of the nation, and possibly the world"!
"Trump", Steve added, somewhat incoherently, "cried himself to sleep" due to the sparse turnout, and blamed Obama and Hillary.
Bunions, admittedly, in his reporting was unable to suppress his resentment toward the "Commander-In-Lies", and, thus, thrust the dagger deep into the oversized gut of the "Commander-In-Cheetos" by divulging "confidential and personal information" that he squeezed out of many of the Whitehouse staffers by bribing them.
Steve added, this "inside information" matter factually, and, in the third person to protect his anonymity, because, we "sure as HELL will not."
Steve claims that nearly everyone in the Whitehouse hates Trump, including Melania. The Secret Service's classified name for "the donald" is "666".
Our much clubbed reported stated that "The most recent person to leave the Whitehouse, a very unattractive, female Whitehouse spokesperson (not to be named in this post) revealed to Bunions, aka "the Babe Magnet" after a vigorous romp in the hay, that Trump "had to have his bed changed six times during the night."
Apparently, the Commander-In-Poop, shats himself on a regular basis. It is well-known to the Whitehouse staff that "the baby Donald" is especially active when his feelings are slighted.
Collaborating this intel was none other than the White House Chief-Custodian, who alleged that his staff of fumigators, were NOT able to enter His Highness's room for 12 hours until every window in the Whitehouse was forced open to let the stench out.
"Gorging on Mickey D's has drawbacks", stated Bunions' anonymous source, the WH Chief Custodian, who is no longer employed there, as of this publication
- Steve Bunions, WhiteHouse Correspondent for EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT WIPE YOUR BUN WITH IT.
Now, it is your turn, Fellow Travellers, what is your unvarnished opinion about the FIVE-TIME DRAFT DODGER'S Military Parade for himself? What say you?
Weigh-in, your opinions may not be correct, or, remotely related to reality, but, they are your opinions and make great "mocking fiber" for our untrained reporters and registered "hacks". We only hire the worst, mostly "winos"!
Was this disastrous MILITARY PARADE for a Five-Time Draft Dodger a rousing success for the "DUMPSTER", or, as nearly everything this incompetent imposter does, just another load of "MONUMENTAL . . . the BESTEST EVER CRAP"?