Omenclature - Funny Street Signs

  
By:  enoch  •  4 weeks ago  •  270 comments

Omenclature - Funny Street Signs
"If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home By Now"

Do you have a funny sign, traffic or otherwise to share with fellow Newstalkers?

Please upload.

"Go ahead. Make My Day".

A smile to close out the week goes a long way.

Please follow the site CoC and TOS.

Enjoy.

Peace and Abundant Blessings Where Ever You Park.

Enoch. 

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Enoch
1  author  Enoch    4 weeks ago

Please post a funny sign.

We can all use a belly laugh from time to time.

Part of the charm of life.

Kindly follow site Coc and TOS.

Enoch, Doing Congregational Business Only and Not Driving on the Sabbath.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
1.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Enoch @1    4 weeks ago

Nice light Friday choice

sorry though, i haven't any sign to contribute, or means to load if i did

,

This could be a sign

,

i wasn't meant to read

at least from what ive read

 
 
 
Enoch
1.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  igknorantzrulz @1.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Igknorantzrulz: Thanks for the compliment.

You are most welcome in any of my discussion threads.

Any time.

Any topic.

Peace and Abundant Blessings.

Enoch.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
1.1.2  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Enoch @1.1.1    4 weeks ago
Thanks for the compliment.
, i thought they were complementary, like a continental break fast, or say, a plastic spork, salt and pepper packets, and or a Straw
Man, so we could Arguably argue about that as well...
.
We all need a break from what we are unfortunately, inundated with, 24 7 
Signs can be amusing.
Ive run over a few, but thats cause they said 
STAY OFF THE GASS
and i was only doing a therapy Caref' 
.
I used to have an old 71 Ford Van, that my buddy easily convinced me into converting to a convertible, it was quite unique.
I recall running over some signs and small trees as i was off road, and the trees were actually coming in the approximate 6'6" x 7' hole in my roof top and accumulating, till we had enough fire wood, ticks, and possibly a squirrel or 2, Christmas Vacation style, till a Chevy Chased us away
 
 
 
Enoch
1.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  igknorantzrulz @1.1.2    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Ignorantzrulz: Most welcome. 

The spork.

One of the marvels of model technology.

I am a fan.

Col. Harlan Enoch

 
 
 
cjcold
1.1.4  cjcold  replied to  Enoch @1.1.3    4 weeks ago

My spork is made of titanium.

 
 
 
Enoch
1.1.5  author  Enoch  replied to  cjcold @1.1.4    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend CJCold: Fancy Delancey.

I like it.

Titanium Sporks.

Anyone else feel like a Barium Bucket?

Smiles.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
1.1.6  Raven Wing  replied to  cjcold @1.1.4    4 weeks ago
My spork is made of titanium.

That sounds like a Spock spork. (grin)

 
 
 
Raven Wing
1.1.7  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @1.1.5    4 weeks ago
Anyone else feel like a Barium Bucket?

Dear Brother Enoch......I'll pass.

jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
1.1.8  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @1.1.6    4 weeks ago

Laffs.

 
 
 
Enoch
1.1.9  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @1.1.7    4 weeks ago

Deal.

 
 
 
cjcold
1.1.10  cjcold  replied to  Raven Wing @1.1.6    4 weeks ago

Around the campfire many are jealous of my titanium spork.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
1.1.11  Raven Wing  replied to  cjcold @1.1.10    4 weeks ago
Around the campfire many are jealous of my titanium spork.

I can imagine. Not everyone has a titan spork. (grin)

 
 
 
Raven Wing
1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @1    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Enoch, this is sign above is hilarious! Great article, and one sorely needed here on NT. 

May our Spirits be lifted and our funny bones well tickled. jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
1.2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @1.2    4 weeks ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: Thanks.

Agreed.

We all need a laugh every now and again.

Normally when I grab a gaffaw I look at my checkbook, then read the bills in my mailbox.

Now that's funny!

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
1.2.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @1.2.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Enoch,

I do the opposite, I look at my stack of bills, then look over at my checkbook and laugh without even opening it. (grin)

 
 
 
Enoch
1.2.3  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @1.2.2    4 weeks ago

Great Plan.

Hope springs eternal among those billing me who expect to get paid.

Let them keep up that lottery spirit.

E.

 
 
 
Kavika
2  Kavika     4 weeks ago

A sign in Sanford FL.

13bf7dc87b452647235add1a690e5bbc.jpg

 
 
 
Enoch
3  author  Enoch    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Kavika: So true.

"En Vino Veritas".

"In wine truth".

Enoch, Under the Affluence of Inchohol". 

 
 
 
Kavika
4  Kavika     4 weeks ago

Seems that gators in Florida have learned to post road signs. 

IgnoreSign.jpg

 
 
 
Raven Wing
4.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Kavika @4    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
TTGA
4.2  TTGA  replied to  Kavika @4    4 weeks ago

Wow!!!  How parental. I actually remember my mom telling me to keep my bike to the side of the road.  In the same vein, we have one on M-66 that says,

DO NOT PASS

WHEN OPPOSING

TRAFFIC IS APPROACHING

What????  Does the State of Michigan think that everybody on the road missed that day of driver ed.?

 
 
 
Enoch
4.2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  TTGA @4.2    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend TTGA: Last time I was in greater Detroit I was on the way back from Warren to Sterling Heights.

It took me eleven minutes to make a Michigan Left to the nearest Meijer's. 

Peace and Abundant Blessings to You and Yours.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
4.2.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  TTGA @4.2    3 weeks ago

It is like the commercials for medications on TV where they say not to take them if you allergic to them.

 
 
 
Enoch
5  author  Enoch    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Kavika: Learning how to game a system has its advantages.

When things play out in a court of law, who is the Allegator and who the Allegatee?

Additionally, if there is a Sunshine State Jay's Diner near a condominium complex with side dishes of shredded cabbage with mango and mayo will Gators be tried in a Court of Law or a Quart of Slaw?

Enoch, sitting with a lizard out in a yard.  

    

 
 
 
Kavika
6  Kavika     4 weeks ago

bbeb7520607caf56cb49f42a933fcd43.jpg

 
 
 
Raven Wing
6.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Kavika @6    4 weeks ago

Love it! jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
7  author  Enoch    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Kavika: BOL!

Love it!!!!!

Thanks.

Enoch (Making A Reservation)

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
8  Paula Bartholomew    4 weeks ago

I don't have pictures but remember two incidents.

Below a Denny's sign I saw was another sign...FAST GAS.

There was a elderly gentleman dressed in every color of the rainbow to include a hat with a pom pom standing underneath a DIP road sign.

 
 
 
Enoch
8.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @8    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Paula Bartholomew: Laughing.

Good ones.

Many thanks for sharing.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
9  Trout Giggles    4 weeks ago

There's a billboard outside Louisville, KY that says Nervous Charlie's Fireworks and Liquor Store or something like that.

Then I saw a taxidermy shop next to a veterinarian's office in Cheyenne, WY, I think it was. I told Mr Giggles that either way, you're getting Fluffy back

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
9.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Trout Giggles @9    4 weeks ago

And the classic Las Vegas sign that read "Liqueur in the Front" "Poker in the Rear"...

 
 
 
Enoch
9.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @9.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Dismayed Patriot: Classic indeed.

What happens in the Meadows stays in Las Vegas we assume.

They will let us know in nine months.

Smiles.

P&AB.

Enoch. 

 
 
 
Enoch
9.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Trout Giggles @9    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Trout Giggles: A pair of knee slappers.

We are most grateful.

Thanks.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
9.2.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Enoch @9.2    4 weeks ago
Dear Friend Trout Giggles: A pair of knee slappers.

I have an aunt with a pair of those... thankfully with some industrial grade fabrics she can keep them from hindering her ability to walk...

 
 
 
Enoch
9.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @9.2.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Dismayed Patriot: ROTF, LMAO.

Thanks. Does me good.

E.

 
 
 
It Is ME
10  It Is ME    4 weeks ago

384jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
10.1  author  Enoch  replied to  It Is ME @10    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Is It Me: BOL!

Love it.

Thanks for posting.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
11  Raven Wing    4 weeks ago

I took this picture when I lived in Warrenton VA a few years back. It is located on a hwy leading to Front Royal VA:

320

 
 
 
Enoch
11.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @11    4 weeks ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: As an antique I resemble that remark.

Laughs.

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
11.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @11.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Enoch,

ROFL!! Living in one of the founding states of our country, the state where the first settlers landed in Jamestown, and in the midst of the Civil War Battlegrounds, antiques abound at every curve. 

So when I first drove down that hwy and glanced at the building all my mind saw was 'Antique Tables'. It wasn't until later when I drive back down that hwy on my way home that I paid attention to the part of the sign under that heading that said, 'Made Daily' Seeing that I had to stop and take a picture of it to share.

However, you and I are not 'antiques', we just have a well earned expertise in life. jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
11.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @11.1.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: Now that is the power of positive thinking.

Well crafted phrase.

One road sign I always loved was a sign near a Deli in the Catskills.

It read, "Eat Here or We Both Starve".

Truth, stranger than fiction or the Blue Plate Special.

Enoch, Wondering What Is Really In The Daily Special Stew. 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
11.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @11.1.2    4 weeks ago
Enoch, Wondering What Is Really In The Daily Special Stew. 

Dear Brother Enoch.......best not to ask. Sometimes looks can be deceiving. Other times, truth beats out fiction. jrSmiley_85_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
11.1.4  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @11.1.3    4 weeks ago

Try their Chicken Friction Zee

 
 
 
Raven Wing
11.1.5  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @11.1.4    4 weeks ago

Sounds like my Maternal Grandmother's cooking. Bless her heart, she was no a very good cook, and thankfully my Grandfather was a good one. jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
11.1.6  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @11.1.5    4 weeks ago

To misquote Dale Carnagie, "I never met an entree I didn't like."

That could have been from the book, How to Win Calories, and Influence Taste if he had written it. 

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
11.1.7  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @11.1.6    3 weeks ago

LOL!!!  When I owned my business I took the Dale Carnagie "How to Win Friends and Influence Enemies" course. I was such a success that I was invited back as an "Instructor's Assistant."

Well......actually.....I did win a lot of Friends....but....they thought I needed a refresher course on how to influence enemies. jrSmiley_9_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
11.1.8  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @11.1.7    3 weeks ago

"I am proud of my enemies. After all, I made them." (Comedian Red Skelton).  

 
 
 
Raven Wing
11.1.9  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @11.1.8    3 weeks ago

LOL!  Red had it right. There are some people that deserve to be one's enemy, and recognizing them is also important. jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
11.1.10  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @11.1.9    3 weeks ago

True that.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
11.1.11  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Enoch @11.1    3 weeks ago

I was quite the party girl in my younger days and got made at least 3 days a week.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
11.1.12  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @11.1.11    3 weeks ago

?

 
 
 
arkpdx
12  arkpdx    4 weeks ago

This one is accurate too. I have been there.

https://images.app.goo.gl/7GZfcCs2N9uR4QbX6

 
 
 
Enoch
12.1  author  Enoch  replied to  arkpdx @12    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Arkpdx: Love it.

Reminds me that there are two municipalities, Heaven and Intercourse PA.

Roads are such that the only way to get to Heaven is through Intercourse.

You can't make this stuff up.

Peace and Abundant Blessings.

Enoch.   

 
 
 
MrFrost
12.2  MrFrost  replied to  arkpdx @12    4 weeks ago

I have as well, can confirm not much excitement in that town. 

 
 
 
Enoch
12.2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @12.2    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend MrFrost: I can personally confirm there are no liberals in Liberal, KS; and no industry in Industry, NY.

I would not want to have been on the marketing team panel that named Garbutt, NY. 

Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.

Enoch, Heading off to Truth of Consequences NM.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
13  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    4 weeks ago

I used to get the biggest giggle out of this salon name.

256

And then I turned 50.

256

 
 
 
arkpdx
13.1  arkpdx  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @13    4 weeks ago

Is that you?

 
 
 
Enoch
13.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  arkpdx @13.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend Arkpdx: More likely its me before I shave and have a morning cup of Java.

Winks.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
13.1.2  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  arkpdx @13.1    4 weeks ago
Is that you?

A really big cigar hides a multitude of age-related embarrassments. 

 
 
 
Enoch
13.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @13.1.2    4 weeks ago

Worked for George Burns

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
13.1.4  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Enoch @13.1.3    4 weeks ago
Worked for George Burns

Ha!!

 
 
 
Enoch
13.1.5  author  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @13.1.4    4 weeks ago

Say good night SMAABIE.

Good night.

E.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
13.1.6  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Enoch @13.1.5    4 weeks ago

Good night SMAABIE.

 
 
 
Enoch
13.1.7  author  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @13.1.6    4 weeks ago

Winks.

We are ever on the same wave length.

Ain't it grand?

E.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
13.1.8  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Enoch @13.1.7    3 weeks ago
Ain't it grand?

Indeed!

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
13.1.9  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Enoch @13.1.1    3 weeks ago

I've heard that really strong coffee can put hair on your chest, but the coffee that did that had to be reallllyyyyy strong.

 
 
 
arkpdx
13.1.10  arkpdx  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @13.1.9    3 weeks ago

That land lovers coffee! Really weak! If you coffee does not strip paint or go thru steel like blood from the alien movie its not early strong enough!

 
 
 
Enoch
13.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @13    4 weeks ago

Dear Friend SMAAB: Decades back on the TV show, The Honeymooners the Kramdens and the Nortons were on a vacation to Germany.

On a walking tour with a guide, they were told to go up to a local and say, "Guten Tag Mein Herr". (Hello Sir).

It turns out the man took off his hat and he was totally bald.

Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason) exclaimed shouted, "I ain't saying Mein Haiir to him"!

Enoch, Getting Ready to Leave My House (And Away We Go)!

 
 
 
Raven Wing
13.2.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @13.2    4 weeks ago

Oh my gosh, that was one of my favorite shows for many years. Shame they don't make them like that anymore.

 
 
 
Enoch
13.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @13.2.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: The show was a gem for sure and certain.

"Baby, Your the Greatest".

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
13.2.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @13.2.2    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
13.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @13    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
MrFrost
14  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
14.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @14    4 weeks ago

Dear Mr. Frost: LOL.

Good one.

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
15  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
15.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @15    4 weeks ago

Two for Two.

Talk about a circumcision joke.

Well, time for me to cut it short.

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
15.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @15.1    4 weeks ago

 Dear Brother Enoch,

You are on a roll today!! jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
15.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @15.1.1    4 weeks ago

Sesame Seed?

Special Sauce?

Winks.

E.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
15.1.3  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Enoch @15.1    4 weeks ago

A moyle was asked once what he charged.  He said nothing, but I do take tips.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
15.1.4  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @15.1.3    4 weeks ago

*he charged for circumcisions

 
 
 
Enoch
15.1.5  author  Enoch  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @15.1.3    4 weeks ago

Belly laughing.

Great one!

Thanks.

 
 
 
Enoch
15.1.6  author  Enoch  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @15.1.4    4 weeks ago

Heard about the Mohel who invented a wallet made by sewing together tips from circumcisions?

When it is rubbed right, it becomes a brief case.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
15.1.7  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Enoch @15.1.6    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif Thank you for spelling correction also.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
15.1.8  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @15.1.6    3 weeks ago
When it is rubbed right, it becomes a brief case.

ROTFL!!!  

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
15.1.9  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @15.1.7    3 weeks ago

Once I found out what a Mohel does, I finally understood a line from the Robin Williams movie, Mrs. Doubtfire.

"Never buy gribinus (sp) from a Mohel.  It's so chewey."

 
 
 
Raven Wing
15.2  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @15    4 weeks ago

Oh good gosh, don't let Kavika or Wiki see that! jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_85_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
15.2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @15.2    4 weeks ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: "Chop it clean with a Guillotine".

Enoch (Marie Antoinette), Substituting Cake for Bread.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
15.2.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @15.2.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Enoch,

Keep 'em coming!! jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
15.2.3  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @15.2.2    4 weeks ago

Done and done.

E.

 
 
 
arkpdx
15.2.4  arkpdx  replied to  Enoch @15.2.1    4 weeks ago

"Robin Hood: Men in tights - Rabbi Tuckman explaining what is circumcision" on YouTube

 
 
 
Enoch
15.2.5  author  Enoch  replied to  arkpdx @15.2.4    4 weeks ago

Very funny.

Thanks for sharing.

LOL.

E.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
15.3  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  MrFrost @15    4 weeks ago

Does Lorena Bobbit have a house there?

 
 
 
Enoch
15.3.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @15.3    4 weeks ago

"The unkindest cut of all." (Bill Shakesphere)

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
15.3.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Enoch @15.3.1    4 weeks ago

John Wayne Bobbit agreed to do a movie but the first time the director yelled "CUT!" he locked himself in his dressing room.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
15.3.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @15.3.2    3 weeks ago
he locked himself in his dressing room.

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
15.3.4  author  Enoch  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @15.3.2    3 weeks ago

BOL!.

Too funny.

 
 
 
MrFrost
16  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

Ok, here is my "list"... Enjoy...

512

 
 
 
Enoch
16.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @16    4 weeks ago

Seems about right.

Smiles.

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
17  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
17.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @17    4 weeks ago

Three inches six months?

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
18  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
18.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @18    4 weeks ago

Not my understanding of a threesome.

Live and learn.

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
19  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

This sign proves that someone, somewhere, tried to milk a cat. 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
19.1  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @19    4 weeks ago
This sign proves that someone, somewhere, tried to milk a cat. 

Hope their medical insurance was paid up. jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
MrFrost
19.1.1  MrFrost  replied to  Raven Wing @19.1    4 weeks ago

Exactly, I can't even imagine the amount of bloodshed would be involved. 

 
 
 
Enoch
19.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @19.1    4 weeks ago

The insurance agent who sold the policy was in a n RV with the motor running.

Their motto, "Insurance by handshake. No policy necessary". 

E.

 
 
 
Enoch
19.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @19.1.1    4 weeks ago

Alfred Hitchcock made of movie of that, I think.

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
19.1.4  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @19.1.2    4 weeks ago

ROTFL!! Good thing the policy was not necessary, as it would likely have been written in blood! jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
19.1.5  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @19.1.4    4 weeks ago

Invisible Plasma?

 
 
 
Raven Wing
19.1.6  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @19.1.5    4 weeks ago

Cheaper by the gallon I hear. (wink)

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
19.1.7  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  MrFrost @19.1.1    4 weeks ago

To wash a cat, place in toilet, shut the lid, and flush.

MEMO from the dog

 
 
 
Raven Wing
19.1.8  Raven Wing  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @19.1.7    3 weeks ago
MEMO from the dog

LOL! Sounds like that pooch needs a bit of kitteh acupuncture.

 
 
 
Enoch
19.2  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @19    4 weeks ago

I think I know that guy.

Tenured Professor at the University of Wha?

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
20  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
20.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @20    4 weeks ago

No comment.

Winks.

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
21  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
21.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @21    4 weeks ago

Speaks for itself, doesn't it?

E.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
21.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  MrFrost @21    3 weeks ago

Is that where the tiki torches are?

 
 
 
MrFrost
21.2.1  MrFrost  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @21.2    3 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
21.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @21.2.1    3 weeks ago

Kon Tiki then?

Hope it doesn't make anyone Thor.

 
 
 
MrFrost
22  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
22.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @22    4 weeks ago

I better not set down what I thought on this one.

E.

 
 
 
Steve Ott
23  Steve Ott    4 weeks ago

256

 
 
 
Enoch
23.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Steve Ott @23    4 weeks ago

Plan ahead always works.

Laughs.

Thanks.

Peace and Abundant Blessings.

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
24  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
24.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @24    4 weeks ago

A twofer.

E.

 
 
 
MrFrost
25  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Enoch
25.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @25    4 weeks ago

I put my right foot out, then my left foot out.

Shook then up and turned them all about. 

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
25.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @25.1    4 weeks ago

Dear Brother Enoch, 

That must have been a very uncomfortable rendition of that song. jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
25.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @25.1.1    4 weeks ago

Not as disturbing as listening to me sing.

I once headlined at a vocal concert.

Ticket prices:

$1 to enter.

$150 to leave before it was over.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
25.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @25.1.2    4 weeks ago

Sounds like some I have been to. Glad I have a strong constitution, and always carry a pair of ear plugs. (wink)

 
 
 
Enoch
25.1.4  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @25.1.3    4 weeks ago

Good plan.

I say GOOD PLAN

 
 
 
Raven Wing
25.1.5  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @25.1.4    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
MrFrost
26  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Raven Wing
26.1  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @26    4 weeks ago

There was a sign in the All Gender restroom at the Transit station where I used to board the Trolley in the mornings going to work that read;

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please lift the seat." 

 
 
 
MrFrost
26.1.1  MrFrost  replied to  Raven Wing @26.1    4 weeks ago

When I was a kid, my mom had a similar sign in our bathroom.. ;)

 
 
 
Raven Wing
26.1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @26.1.1    4 weeks ago

In our house the, the rule of the bathroom was, "If you stand to pee, lift the seat. If you lift the seat, put it down when down when your done."

One night in the winter when I was just a youngster I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and when I went to sit down I fell into the water, as the seat had been left up. It was very cold and my PJ's were all wet. There only male in our house at that time, my Brother, so I took my wet PJ's and put them under the covers with him in his bed. After that he never left the seat up again.

jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
MrFrost
26.1.3  MrFrost  replied to  Raven Wing @26.1.2    4 weeks ago

It wasn't until I was a parent I understood those sayings. I swear, my son couldn't hit the toilet for love nor money. 

 
 
 
arkpdx
26.1.4  arkpdx  replied to  Raven Wing @26.1.2    4 weeks ago

Why was it his fault you didn't look first?

 
 
 
Enoch
26.1.5  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @26.1.3    4 weeks ago

Reminds me of a commercial for Bear Whiz Beer.

"It's in the Water".

 
 
 
Raven Wing
26.1.6  Raven Wing  replied to  arkpdx @26.1.4    4 weeks ago

It wasn't my fault he broke the house rule. 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
26.1.7  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @26.1.3    4 weeks ago

Same here. Being a single Mom left me unprepared for a few things related to having a Son. Thankfully, my Father helped out with some of the more important details of personal needs for boys. (grin)

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
26.1.8  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Raven Wing @26.1.2    4 weeks ago

Growing up, I shared a bathroom with 2 brothers.  If I had a dollar for every time I fell in, I could afford to buy my brother's beautiful lakeside abode and have him thrown out of it.  

 
 
 
Raven Wing
26.1.9  Raven Wing  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @26.1.8    4 weeks ago

LOL! Falling in is bad enough, it is the not knowing if they flushed or not. jrSmiley_85_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
26.1.10  author  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @26.1.8    4 weeks ago

Reminds me of a Borscht Belt joke.

An Orthodox Jewish couple was at home preparing for sleep.

The lady of the house went into the rest room. 

She fell in and got caught in the seat.

Her husband called a plumber to deal with the emergency. 

Embarrassed, she insisted her husband give her his Kippah (Yarumulkah - skull cap) so she could cover up for modesty. 

The plumber, who sees all sorts of things on emergency call reassured her that with just a dab of Vaseline he would have her out and safe, no harm. 

He did advise her looking at the Kippah strategically placed that her Rabbi is most likely a gonner! 

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
26.1.11  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  MrFrost @26.1.1    3 weeks ago

My aunt has this one in her pool changing room.

I don't swim in your toilet so don't pee in my pool.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
26.1.12  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @26.1.10    3 weeks ago
He did advise her looking at the Kippah strategically placed that her Rabbi is most likely a gonner! 

Oh-My-Gosh! Now that is too funny. I'm ROTFL.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
26.1.13  Raven Wing  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @26.1.11    3 weeks ago

My Parents had one of those hanging from a rail at their pool too. 

 
 
 
Enoch
26.2  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @26    4 weeks ago

Sign in a bus stop men's room.

"We aim to keep this place sanitary.

Your aim can help".

 
 
 
MrFrost
26.2.1  MrFrost  replied to  Enoch @26.2    4 weeks ago

One that I saw in a truck stop restroom... a post-it-note above the urinal...

"Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed?"

 
 
 
Enoch
26.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @26.2.1    4 weeks ago

Big Ben isn't only a clock.

Winks.

 
 
 
MrFrost
27  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

And lastly...

512

 
 
 
Enoch
27.1  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @27    4 weeks ago

Booster shots anyone?

 
 
 
Raven Wing
27.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @27.1    4 weeks ago

I need one. Got to take my Yoda Girl kitty in for her yearly booster shots soon. And her protests can be heard by all going to and coming home from the Vet. 

Then I will be in need of another Booster Shot myself. jrSmiley_78_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
27.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @27.1.1    4 weeks ago

Cheers

 
 
 
MrFrost
28  MrFrost    4 weeks ago

512

 
 
 
Raven Wing
28.1  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @28    4 weeks ago

Epic Fail? I'll say! Any good advertiser would know the primary rule......" Location...Location...Location!" jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
28.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @28.1    4 weeks ago

I hear there are people just dying to get in.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
28.1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @28.1.1    4 weeks ago

And have already made a reservation is seems. jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif  

 
 
 
Enoch
28.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @28.1.2    4 weeks ago

Why not.

No danger of eviction notices.

Smiles.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
28.1.4  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @28.1.3    4 weeks ago

True. Unless...you get moved into the wrong apt and the real owner of the reservation finds out. jrSmiley_97_smiley_image.gif

jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
28.1.5  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @28.1.4    4 weeks ago

LOL

 
 
 
Enoch
28.2  author  Enoch  replied to  MrFrost @28    4 weeks ago

I bet.

There are people there now who were never there before.

 
 
 
lady in black
29  lady in black    4 weeks ago

septic-tanks.jpg

 
 
 
Raven Wing
29.1  Raven Wing  replied to  lady in black @29    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif Great one Lady! jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
29.2  author  Enoch  replied to  lady in black @29    4 weeks ago

There are some gene pools in which you never want to wade.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
29.2.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @29.2    4 weeks ago

I have a standing, and wading, rule. If I can't see the bottom I walk the other way. jrSmiley_55_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
29.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @29.2.1    4 weeks ago

Wise

 
 
 
MrFrost
29.3  MrFrost  replied to  lady in black @29    4 weeks ago

Sounds like they are #1 in #2

 
 
 
Raven Wing
30  Raven Wing    4 weeks ago

When I was a young girl we lived in Ft Worth TX, and my Paternal Grandparents lived in Sulfur Springs TX. Every few months we would drive up to visit my Grandparents, and along the hwy there were always Burma Shave signs that would tell a little poem. While the drive was not that long, having to sit still in the car even for a short while was very boring. So I would watch for the Burma Shave signs and laugh at the rhymes. 

384

Shaving brushes
You’ll soon see ’em
Way down east
In some
Museum
Burma-Shave

More of the rhymes are listed here;

https://www.legendsofamerica.com/66-burmashave/2/

 
 
 
Enoch
30.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @30    4 weeks ago

My favorite one is as follows.

"In this vail of toil and sin.

The head grows bald, but not the chin.

Burma Shave".

 
 
 
Raven Wing
30.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @30.1    4 weeks ago
"In this vail of toil and sin. The head grows bald, but not the chin.

I like that one too. After taking a read of all those old Burma Shave sign rhymes I forgot how much fun they were.

 
 
 
Enoch
30.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @30.1.1    4 weeks ago

I loved them.

A bye gone era.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
30.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @30.1.2    4 weeks ago

Indeed. They made a long rural drive less boring and more tolerable when you're only 7 y/o. jrSmiley_89_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
30.1.4  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @30.1.3    4 weeks ago

As kids, that is all we had on long trips at that age.

Roadside bill boards helped.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
30.1.5  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @30.1.4    4 weeks ago
As kids, that is all we had on long trips at that age.

Indeed. That and playing 'I Spy' with my older Brother. But, that only lasted a short while, as nothing I ever guess was right, so I could never win. (grin)

 
 
 
Enoch
30.1.6  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @30.1.5    4 weeks ago

We used to sing camp bus ride songs on long trips.

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

One hundred bottles of beer on the wall.

Also some cartoon theme songs.

Flintstones, meet the Flintstones.

It passed the time.

Today its all digital.

The easy thing is to keep kids with opposable thumbs entertained. 

The hard part is getting them to look up and speak with you.

"Not everything that is good is new. Not everything that is new is good". (Rabbi Dr. Gershon Weiner).

 
 
 
Raven Wing
30.1.7  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @30.1.6    4 weeks ago
"Not everything that is good is new. Not everything that is new is good".

How true that is. As a single parent, and thus a single driver, I had to be creative to keep the kids entertained when I had to travel a good ways. I found the Etch-A-Sketch toy was very good at holding their attention, as well as Mr Potato Head. These were traveling toys only so that they would not get tired of them by playing with too much. jrSmiley_9_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
MUVA
30.1.8  MUVA  replied to  Raven Wing @30.1.7    3 weeks ago

I used a adult dose of DramaminejrSmiley_55_smiley_image.gif  

 
 
 
Raven Wing
30.1.9  Raven Wing  replied to  MUVA @30.1.8    3 weeks ago
I used a adult dose of Dramamine

There were days when Chloroform would have come in handy. LOL

 
 
 
Enoch
30.1.10  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @30.1.7    3 weeks ago

Great sensitivity and wisdom shown here.

Well done.  

 
 
 
MrFrost
30.2  MrFrost  replied to  Raven Wing @30    4 weeks ago

Very nice RW!

 
 
 
Raven Wing
30.2.1  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @30.2    4 weeks ago

You're welcome!

 
 
 
dave-2693993
31  dave-2693993    4 weeks ago

Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming.

 
 
 
Enoch
31.1  author  Enoch  replied to  dave-2693993 @31    3 weeks ago

Why did someone throw a clock out the window?

Because the individual wanted to see time fly.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
31.1.1  dave-2693993  replied to  Enoch @31.1    3 weeks ago

LOL, was his name Albert?

 
 
 
Enoch
31.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  dave-2693993 @31.1.1    3 weeks ago

Albert One Stone

 
 
 
dave-2693993
32  dave-2693993    4 weeks ago

An old man is met by his attorney and is told he is going to be audited by the IRS.

They are saying he owes $3500 in back taxes.

The old man rides to the IRS office with his attorney and when he gets there he begins to talk with the IRS agent and tells him; I'll bet you $1500 I can bite my own eye.

The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task.

The old man laughs, pulls out his glass eye and bites it.

The IRS agent is dumbfounded.

The old man then wants to bet $2000 he can bite his other eye.

The IRS agent knows there's no possible way to do this, so he once more agrees.

The old man chuckles, pulls out his dentures and bites his other eye.

Finally, the old man wants one last wage with the IRS agent and says;

I'll bet you $3500 I can stand on the far side of your desk, pee over the desk and get get it in to your waste basket without getting anything on your desktop wet.

The old man convinces the IRS agent that this could be his opportunity to win back all he lost.

The agent knows he wont be able to, so once more he agrees.

The old man pees all over the desktop and on the paperwork.

The IRS agent jumps up with JOY, but notices the attorney over in the corner moaning.

The IRS agent asks the attorney; Are you alright?

No, no, no !!!

I'm NOT alright.

On the way over here, the old man bet me $10,000 he could pee all over your desk and you would be happy about it.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
32.1  Raven Wing  replied to  dave-2693993 @32    4 weeks ago

LOL!! Which only goes to prove how right the old saying is; "I may be old, but, I ain't stupid."

 
 
 
MUVA
32.1.1  MUVA  replied to  Raven Wing @32.1    4 weeks ago

I hate to disagree but it seem the old man needs flow maxjrSmiley_100_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
32.1.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  MUVA @32.1.1    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
dave-2693993
32.1.3  dave-2693993  replied to  Raven Wing @32.1    3 weeks ago

Sort of like: Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance...lol. 

 
 
 
dave-2693993
32.1.4  dave-2693993  replied to  MUVA @32.1.1    3 weeks ago

LOL.

 
 
 
Enoch
32.1.5  author  Enoch  replied to  dave-2693993 @32.1.3    3 weeks ago

Dear Brother Dave: A new broom sweeps clean.

An old broom knows where the dirt is.

E.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
32.1.6  dave-2693993  replied to  Enoch @32.1.5    3 weeks ago

It sure does Enoch.

T/Y

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
32.2  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  dave-2693993 @32    3 weeks ago

I heard a similar version but it involved a midget in a bar.  I like yours better.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
32.2.1  dave-2693993  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @32.2    3 weeks ago

I am not sure if I know that one. Can you post it?

 
 
 
Raven Wing
33  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

Here's a few that tickled my funny bone...

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
34  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
35  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
36  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
dave-2693993
38  dave-2693993    3 weeks ago

A genious, proud and confident, offers a bet to an idiot.

The genious says:

"HEY IDIOT every question that I ask you and you don't know the answer to , you have to give me $5. And if you ask a question that I can not answer , I will gladly give you $5,000".

The idiot says "Okie, dokie".

The genius then asks "How many continents are there in the world"? The idiot doesn't know and hands over $5.

The idiot says: 

"Now me ask you"!!!

"What animal stand with 2 legs but sleeps with 3"?

The genius tries to figure it out. He searches the very recesses of his mind for the answer, but has to give up. So he hands over $5000. The genius says:

"I can't believe it, I lost, I actually lost"!!!

By the way, what was the answer to your question"?

The idiot hands over $5.

 
 
 
Enoch
38.1  author  Enoch  replied to  dave-2693993 @38    3 weeks ago

Priceless.

Great joke.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
40  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

Here's a few more that got me laughing...

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
41  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

Here's a few more that got me laughing...

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
42  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
43  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
44  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
45  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
46  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Enoch
46.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @46    3 weeks ago

Great collection.

Loved every one.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
46.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @46.1    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
47  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

A few more just for fun...

384

 
 
 
Enoch
47.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @47    3 weeks ago

Covers the field.

Good sign.

Smiles.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
48  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Enoch
48.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @48    3 weeks ago

Who can fathum the finer points of the metric system?

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
48.1.1  Bob Nelson  replied to  Enoch @48.1    3 weeks ago

Did you know that the legal definition of an "inch" is... ... wait for it... ... 25.4 millimeters...

 
 
 
Raven Wing
48.1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @48.1    3 weeks ago
Who can fathum the finer points of the metric system?

My question is, does the elevator stop at the 9th floor?

 
 
 
Enoch
48.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  Bob Nelson @48.1.1    3 weeks ago

I think that was used in the trial of Ben V. Jerry

 
 
 
Raven Wing
48.1.4  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @48.1.3    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
49  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

Burger King loves this one....jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
49.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @49    3 weeks ago

Another win for directional royalty.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
50  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Enoch
50.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @50    3 weeks ago

Can't say there didn't know now. 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
50.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @50.1    3 weeks ago

Better have a really good lawyer. jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
51  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Enoch
51.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @51    3 weeks ago

Reminds me of the bird who backed into a fan.

Shredded tweet.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
51.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @51.1    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
52  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Enoch
52.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @52    3 weeks ago

10.0

9.75.

10.0

9.5

 
 
 
MrFrost
52.2  MrFrost  replied to  Raven Wing @52    3 weeks ago

Sure, now ya tell me.. ;)

 
 
 
Raven Wing
52.2.1  Raven Wing  replied to  MrFrost @52.2    3 weeks ago

Oooops jrSmiley_20_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
53.1  Bob Nelson  replied to  Raven Wing @53    3 weeks ago

Thanks for all of them RW! Wonderful!

 
 
 
Enoch
53.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Bob Nelson @53.1    3 weeks ago

Agreed.

Wonderful contribution.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53.1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Bob Nelson @53.1    3 weeks ago

You're welcome Bob. Glad you enjoyed them.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @53.1.1    3 weeks ago

Thank you! Some people have a real funny funny bone. Others just tend to think outside the norm. And we are the ones who get to enjoy them. jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif  

 
 
 
Enoch
53.1.4  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @53.1.3    3 weeks ago

Agreed

 
 
 
Enoch
53.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @53    3 weeks ago

I have no sters made of ham.

Said Sam I Yam.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53.2.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @53.2    3 weeks ago

I love those funny rhymes

They really make me laugh at times

 
 
 
Enoch
53.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @53.2.1    3 weeks ago

Me too.

Growing up, my kids loved Dr. Seuss books.

Now the grandchildren do.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53.2.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @53.2.2    3 weeks ago

When we were kids my Brother and I would go around talking like that. We would even make up our own rhymes to suit the situation at the time. After a while, my poor Mother would send us to our rooms to get a rest from it. 

Then when Star Wars came along, my Granddaughter would go around talking like Yoda. We even do that when we are together now at times. (grin) 

 
 
 
Enoch
53.2.4  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @53.2.3    3 weeks ago

When in a goofy mood, I like to sing romantic ballads to Mrs. E. using the accent of Elmer Fudd.

Cracks her up every time.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53.2.5  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @53.2.4    3 weeks ago
using the accent of Elmer Fudd.

LOL!!!  Elmer Fudd...now that would be worth paying to listen to. jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
53.2.6  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @53.2.5    3 weeks ago

Henry Mancini's, Moon River as vocalized by Elmer Fudd.

"Moon wibbah, wider dann a miew.

I'm kwossin you in styew some day.

Owd drweem makah, you hart bwakah, wherer ebbah yer goin, I'm goin yer way.

Two driftahs, off to see dah word.

Der's such a wotta word to see.

We're aftah da same, wainbow's end. Waitin wound dah bend.

My huckewbwerry freind.

Moon wibbah, and meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53.2.7  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @53.2.6    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif That ......is .....hilarious!!

 
 
 
Enoch
53.2.8  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @53.2.7    3 weeks ago

Dank ew.

Now I am off ta hunt ah wasscawee wabbit.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
53.2.9  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @53.2.8    3 weeks ago

Make dat wabbit seh Unca! 

 
 
 
Enoch
53.2.10  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @53.2.9    3 weeks ago

When our son, who is a Medical practitioner got his terminal degree we went out for a celebratory luncheon after the graduation ceremony. 

I told him I have been waiting for years to ask this.

"What's up, Doc"?

 
 
 
dave-2693993
54  dave-2693993    3 weeks ago

Today I stopped by this roadside stand that said; lobster tails $2.

So I paid my $2 and the guy said "Once upon a time there was this lobster..."

 
 
 
Enoch
54.1  author  Enoch  replied to  dave-2693993 @54    3 weeks ago

A woman enters a bar at Ladies Night.

The bar keep asks, "May I offer a free cocktail"?

She says, "Sure. Tell me one please".

 
 
 
dave-2693993
54.1.1  dave-2693993  replied to  Enoch @54.1    3 weeks ago

I guess  she was all ears.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
55  dave-2693993    3 weeks ago

800

 
 
 
Enoch
55.1  author  Enoch  replied to  dave-2693993 @55    3 weeks ago

Was Eddie Toad Away?

 
 
 
dave-2693993
55.1.1  dave-2693993  replied to  Enoch @55.1    3 weeks ago

LOL

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
55.1.2  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Enoch @55.1    3 weeks ago
Was Eddie Toad Away?

I'll call BULL

He now just sits on stools and has constant flashbacks of all those toad stools gone wild, like rice that appear to be moving like maggot mayonnaise, but you musta herd, notthat one would relish the thought, but frankly my dear, i don't give a dam concern about a dam breaking my fast, as i brunch things together as i'm too often outto lunch to realize whats for dinner, but i'm hungry now, but not Hungarian

N Joygood posters, as i prefer to be the poster chile

 
 
 
arkpdx
56  arkpdx    3 weeks ago

A termite enters a saloon and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

 
 
 
arkpdx
56.1  arkpdx  replied to  arkpdx @56    3 weeks ago

A three legged dog walks into a bar and shouts, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw!"

 
 
 
Enoch
56.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  arkpdx @56.1    3 weeks ago

The grudge that follows being de-feeted. 

 
 
 
Enoch
56.2  author  Enoch  replied to  arkpdx @56    3 weeks ago

LOL

 
 
 
Raven Wing
57  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

Here are a few more that caught my eye.....

384

 
 
 
Raven Wing
58  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Enoch
58.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @58    3 weeks ago

Was that sign made by the Census Bureau?

 
 
 
Raven Wing
58.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @58.1    3 weeks ago
Was that sign made by the Census Bureau?

LOL!!! Could be. jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
59  Raven Wing    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Enoch
59.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @59    3 weeks ago

At last, truth in advertising.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
59.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @59.1    3 weeks ago
At last, truth in advertising.

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
dave-2693993
60  dave-2693993    3 weeks ago

A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beautiful Porsche.

Naturally, his parents know that there’s no way he earned enough with his after-school job to buy such a car.

“Where did you get that car?” his mum and dad screamed in shock.

“I bought it today,” replied the teen calmly.

“With what money young man?” his mum demands. “We know how much a Porsche costs and you cannot afford it!”

“Well, it’s used and I got a good deal” says the boy, “This one cost me 20 dollars.”

“Who on earth would sell a car like that for 20 dollars?!”

“The woman up the street,” the boy replies. “I don’t know her name–she just moved in.
She ordered a pizza and when I delivered it to her, she asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for 20 dollars.”

The boy’s dad and mum hurry over to their new neighbours house, ready to demand an explanation. Curiously, their new neighbour is calmly planting flowers in her front yard.

“I’m the father of the kid you just sold a sports car to for $20,” the dad says. “I need an explanation from you!”

“Well,” the woman says, not looking up from her garden. “This morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip in Florida, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back.”

“What on earth does that have to do with selling our son a Porsche for $20?” The boy’s mum asks, utterly perplexed.

The new neighbour smiles very big, and pauses for a minute. “Well, my husband asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. 
So I did.....

 
 
 
Raven Wing
60.1  Raven Wing  replied to  dave-2693993 @60    3 weeks ago
“Well, my husband asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money.  So I did.....

Ahhhh.....the taste of sweet revenge. jrSmiley_9_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

 
 
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