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Uncle Melty

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

By:  enoch  •  5 years ago  •  80 comments

Uncle Melty
"What Do You Call A Relative Made Out of Cheese On a Hot Day"?

Today is Mrs. E's Birthday.

The celebration began yesterday.

We drove about the State taking our son, daughter, son and daughter in law and grandchildren out for a celebratory meal.

For many of the young ones yesterday was their last day of freedom.

The new school year starts for them today. 

As is our custom, the young ones pick out presents for their Saftah (Grandmother in Hebrew) and one each for themselves.

No one leaves empty handed. 

That's just not what a party is all about.

Another family tradition is telling, and making up jokes and riddles. 

The one that got the most traction yesterday was the question in the article quotation.

Q. What do you call a relative made out of cheese on a hot day?

A. Uncle Melty.

Another was: Q. What do you call diet Cous Cous?

A. Cous (Half the calories of regular). 

Of all the things Mrs. E. favors on her birthday, its hearing her grandchildren laugh.

Now that's a birthday present!

How do you mark the passing of one year, and the beginning of a new one? 

P&AB.

Enoch.

     


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Enoch
Masters Quiet
1  author  Enoch    5 years ago

How do you celebrate a birthday?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1  devangelical  replied to  Enoch @1    5 years ago

... by waking up the next day. HB to Mrs. E.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
1.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  devangelical @1.1    5 years ago

Dear Friend Devangelical: Sounds like a plan to me.

Good call.

Beats the stuffing out of the alternative.

Will send your kind greetings to Mrs. E.

Thanks.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1.2  devangelical  replied to  Enoch @1.1.1    5 years ago
Beats the stuffing out of the alternative.

you got that right Rabbi.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
1.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  devangelical @1.1.2    5 years ago

Winks

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @1    5 years ago

For many years during their long married life, my Father would hand make his Birthday greeting for my Mother on a paper plate. It first started when my Father had been working out of town for several days and got home just in time for my Mothers Birthday. He didn't have time to run out and buy a card, so he found the stack of paper plates and decided to make his own 'card' for her. She loved it, as it was his own words and feelings. So it became a a Birthday tradition for them. (smile)   

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.1  devangelical  replied to  Raven Wing @1.2    5 years ago

very romantic

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
1.2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @1.2    5 years ago

The best gift is when you provide something of yourself.

Super tradition.

Love it.  

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
1.2.3  cjcold  replied to  Enoch @1.2.2    5 years ago

Gave my brother a high dollar flashlight for his birthday just a couple of days ago. Can't wait to see what he gives me on my birthday in a couple of weeks. We tend to try to outdo each other on our birthdays. Hoping for a Ferrari.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.2.4  CB  replied to  cjcold @1.2.3    5 years ago

I love it! HA!

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.2.5  CB  replied to  Raven Wing @1.2    5 years ago

Very interesting. Even the thought of placing a birthday card on the dinner plate is different. I will have to try, both! Good idea.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
1.2.6  author  Enoch  replied to  cjcold @1.2.3    5 years ago

Dear Friend CJCold: My older brother and I have birthdays to the day one month apart.

Growing up, I would hand him a greetings card with a $5 bill in it.

A month later he would return the fiver in a new greetings card.

Over time, we reduced the $5 bill to a single dollar.

This freed up capital for our active investment portfolios (collecting baseball cards). 

By the time we hit high school, we enclosed I.O.U. notes. 

Following college and graduate school, we would mail each other a blank check, unsigned and shredded.

That still cost us a postage stamp.

Now a days we send e-cards with images of defunct Biblical and post Biblical currency (Zuzim) instead. 

"Old jokes never die, they just fade away".

Smiles.

Enoch.

 

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
1.2.7  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @1.2.5    5 years ago

Dear Brother CB: All great ideas.

Original works best.

Keep us posted on what happens. 

E.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
1.2.8  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @1.2.6    5 years ago

Dear Brother Enoch, 

For many years I have created my own greeting cards for Family and close Friends. I create the graphics of the cards based upon what their current interests are. Making them personal and timely makes them a gift in themselves they say, and most keep the cards year after year. 

It started when the children were small and the bought cards did not mean as much as the gifts, so I decided to create more personal cards for them, keeping them funny and entertaining. And from the children it grew into doing the same for the adults as well. 

My Granddaughter is more excited to open the cards from me to see what I came up with for her before opening the gifts. jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     5 years ago

I have quit recognizing my birthdate...Upright and breathing is good enough for me...jrSmiley_2_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2.1  Kavika   replied to  Kavika @2    5 years ago

Happy Birthday to Mrs. E.....

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Kavika @2.1    5 years ago

Dear Brother Kavika: Many thanks.

Will pass along your kind greetings.

E. 

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Kavika @2    5 years ago

Dear Brother Kavika: The local volunteer fire department formally requested no candles be placed on my birthday cake.

One for each year constitutes a dangerous fire hazard.

Upright and breathing.

Gotta try it.

P&AB. Enoch.   

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.2.1  devangelical  replied to  Enoch @2.2    5 years ago
One for each year constitutes a dangerous fire hazard.

disconnecting the home smoke detector to celebrate a birthday is pretty common among my friends

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
2.2.2  Raven Wing  replied to  devangelical @2.2.1    5 years ago

I have found an answer to that. All the candles are on the cake, but, they aren't lit. That way I don't wind up with singed eyebrows, and I don't have to waste so much time getting to the cake. jrSmiley_101_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.2.3  devangelical  replied to  Raven Wing @2.2.2    5 years ago

at my age it would be more efficient to set the whole cake on fire

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.2.4  author  Enoch  replied to  devangelical @2.2.1    5 years ago

Sounds like we got a group rate coming to us at the forthcoming annual meeting.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.2.5  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @2.2.2    5 years ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: Save me a nice slice. 

Enoch, Salivating like a Pavlov dog.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.2.6  author  Enoch  replied to  devangelical @2.2.3    5 years ago

LOL

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.2.7  Tessylo  replied to  devangelical @2.2.3    5 years ago

I remember on Absolutely Fabulous when it was I think, Edina's 50th birthday, they put 50 candles on the cake.

She had a fire extinguisher behind her back and let her rip.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.2.8  author  Enoch  replied to  Tessylo @2.2.7    5 years ago

My daughter loved that show.

We would sit and watch it for hours. 

I recall one episode when actress Joanna Lumley told Edina that once a fly bit her.

The next day the insect checked itself into the Betty Ford Clinic.

Laughing at the great memories.

P&AB.   

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
2.2.9  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @2.2.5    5 years ago
Save me a nice slice.

Dear Brother Enoch, of course the first slice is yours. jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
2.2.10  Raven Wing  replied to  devangelical @2.2.3    5 years ago
at my age it would be more efficient to set the whole cake on fire

I could go for that if the frosting is Caramel. I love burnt Caramel frosting. jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif  

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.2.11  Tessylo  replied to  Enoch @2.2.8    5 years ago

Great show sweetie darling!

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.2.12  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @2.2.9    5 years ago

TY.

Yum!

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.2.13  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @2.2.10    5 years ago

You and me both

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
2.3  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Kavika @2    5 years ago

So has my mom. Something about being your age, I think..

Or as my dad wakes up each day and says to my mom:

"We're still here"
 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
2.3.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.3    5 years ago

Our daughter in law's father and I were once reading newspapers in a park in Montreal.

When he got to the Obits, he noticed his name, bio and photo were not posted.

He shared that the editors need to get out more.

They are way behind the times.

Smiles.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
3  Buzz of the Orient    5 years ago

I'd like mine to go into reverse.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
3.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    5 years ago

Dear Brother Buzz: Reverse it is.

Pedal to the metal.

You and me both.

For late lunch/early dinner am taking Mrs. E. to an Israeli Bistro along the Erie Canal. 

One of her favorite places and locations.

Will think of you when we dip flat bread in Hummus.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
4  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    5 years ago

I just sang Happy Birthday to Mrs. E.  My actual gift to her is that she didn't have to hear it.  I couldn't carry a tune in a suitcase.

jrSmiley_93_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
4.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4    5 years ago
I couldn't carry a tune in a suitcase.

jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
4.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4    5 years ago

Dear Friend SMAAB: I once serenaded Mrs. E.

They convened a session at the International Court of Justice in the Hague.

War crime, don't you know.

Winks.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
4.3  devangelical  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4    5 years ago
I couldn't carry a tune in a suitcase.

how about a carry on bag?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4    5 years ago

And I accompanied you on the piano.

The good thing about that is...Nobody had to hear me playing the piano because I've not had one lesson!

Happy Birthday to Mrs E. May she enjoy many more

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
4.4.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Trout Giggles @4.4    5 years ago

Dear Friend Trout Giggles: Done and done.

Many thanks for the kind greetings, and the tune.

P&AB.

E.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
4.5  author  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4    5 years ago

Mrs. E. formally requests a recording.

This is to drown out the sound waves from CD players and radios.

She isn't the fan of popular music now she was in her teens. 

Time marches on.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
5  Raven Wing    5 years ago

Happy Birthday to Mrs E   jrSmiley_24_smiley_image.gif jrSmiley_96_smiley_image.png jrSmiley_15_smiley_image.gif

I actually outgrew the thrill of my Birthday by the time I was 12 years old and it was just another day to me. However, Family and Friends insisted on celebrating my Birthday.

While I no longer have any Family with me besides my Granddaughter, and as there is now only the two of us left, she still insists on celebrating my Birthday every year. Birthdays are a big day for celebration for her, and a way of her showing me that she is grateful for every year I am still with her. 

So I go along with the B-Day celebration of cake and ice cream and a special dinner out, and am thankful for each new year that I am still here to be with and for her, and watch her continue to grow into the wonderful person she is as she finds her own path in life, as that is a beautiful part of life is all about. 

Happy Birthday to all who become a year older this month!  jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
5.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @5    5 years ago

Thanks.

Will pass on the kind greeting.

Family, it is what keeps so many of us going on past our time.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
5.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @5.1    5 years ago
Family, it is what keeps so many of us going on past our time.

Or perhaps it is what keeps so many of us going until we 'reach' our time. (big smile)

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7  Trout Giggles    5 years ago

Since my birthday falls in the middle of February, I like to go to the casino for the weekend and spend all of Mr G's money.

Have a Grand Birthday, Mrs E!

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
7.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    5 years ago

You kind birthday wishes have been transmitted.
Thanks.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
8  Perrie Halpern R.A.    5 years ago

Happy Birthday to Mrs. E! May she have many more. 

These days I'm ambivalent about my birthdays. I'm not just getting older, but so are my parents. They may be PITAs, but I love them. 

I'm feeling more and more like this song:

Sorry for not being upbeat about this, but events as of late have me feeling a bit off. 

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
8.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8    5 years ago

Your kind greetings have been passed on.

Thanks.

Sorry recent events not more positive.

I am here for you in site and personal email notes 24/7.

Keep a good thought.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
9  CB    5 years ago

Happy Birthday, Mrs. E! Love to and Mr. E's world! (Big hugs!)

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
9.1  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @9    5 years ago

Dear Brother CB: Many thanks for your ind greeting.

Already conveyed to Mrs. E.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
9.1.1  CB  replied to  Enoch @9.1    5 years ago

I usually have an annual birthday party, thrown together by family that loves me. It involves card-playing and music and cheer with family and friends. What's interesting is I don't stage it - never have - my family does. Interesting too, since during the year a couple of 'em get on my last nerve and I tell them so!

BTW, what is up with that article picture? Disturbing.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
9.1.2  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @9.1.1    5 years ago

The image of of a "melty".

One of the jokes told at the various birthday party sessions.

Sooner or later we all get on each others nerves as much as uplift one another.

A value to celebrations of personal and communal events (holidays) is that they give us ways to express ourselves individually and collectively.

This is as true for the highs as the lows of life.

Cards music and cheer with family and friends sounds just fine to me.

You deserve it, as do those who provide it.

Good on you all.

P&AB.

E.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
9.1.3  CB  replied to  Enoch @9.1.2    5 years ago

Enoch! You are like a national treasure. You make me feel good about being me! (Biggest Smile Ever.)

Radiate Enoch Radiate!

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
9.1.4  author  Enoch  replied to  CB @9.1.3    5 years ago

Dear Brother CB: Who better to be you than you?

Being you is more than good enough.

E.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
10  sandy-2021492    5 years ago

Happy Birthday to Mrs. E!  I hope she enjoyed her day.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
10.1  author  Enoch  replied to  sandy-2021492 @10    5 years ago

Dear Friend Sandy: Indeed she did.

Thanks.

This is the best of life.

Time with family.

All enjoying themsleves and each other.

Best of the best.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
11  dave-2693993    5 years ago

Great news Enoch.

Happy Birthday to Mrs. E!!!

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
11.1  author  Enoch  replied to  dave-2693993 @11    5 years ago

Dear Brother Dave: Thanks.

Good news rules the day.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
12  igknorantzrulz    5 years ago

a Happy Belated Birthday to Mrs. E..

though i doubt she would know me, 

but mine is next month, and last year it was a two plus day bender, 

i was lucky to wake up the same gender, but,

i was told i had a blast, hopefully we ALL make it to our next ones, and

the next ones aren't    OUR LAST !

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
12.1  author  Enoch  replied to  igknorantzrulz @12    5 years ago

Dear Friend Ignorantzrulz: Thanks for the kind greeting.

All Mrs. E. needs to know is that good people like yourself and others here wish her well for her to appreciate that and all of you.

In the 1940's there was a radio show, "Fibber Mc Gee and Molly".

Your post on last year's birthday for you reminds me of this.

In one episode Mc Gee related a News Years Eve party he attended the previous year.

Moonshine jugs were passed around. 

His wife Molly asked, "Did you enjoy the libations"?

He replied, "They tell me I did"!

Smiles.

Yes, indeed.

Happy forthcoming birthday to you.

May it be only one of many many more.

P&AB.

Enoch.

 

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
PhD Quiet
12.1.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Enoch @12.1    5 years ago

"Fibber Mc Gee"

I haven't heard that reference in quite some time ,

and since well before mine, i now understand the reference from this Irish family that i grew up with, a tad better. (i think)

id have to guess, this character might also share something in common with possibly a certain pol, but i'd never wish to tarnish what was only meant as a BirthDay Wish for your lovely wife !

i'll check him out and about, and to you and yours ,   over n

out

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
12.1.2  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Enoch @12.1    5 years ago
In the 1940's there was a radio show, "Fibber Mc Gee and Molly".

Whatever you do, do NOT open the closet door.  Ah, the memories.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
12.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @12.1.2    5 years ago

LOL. Wasn't it a grand time?

Family sitting about the radio listening to such shows?

Because all you had were words and music, you needed to use your imagination to paint mind pictures.

That greatly added to the experience.

It was more than just passive media.

Oops. Pardon me. Mayor La Trivia is at the door.

Gotta run.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
13  Buzz of the Orient    5 years ago
"...all you had were words and music, you needed to use your imagination to paint mind pictures."

Nobody needs an imagination today - TV, Internet, movies, smartphones, video games....and, in a way I'm sorry to say.....Disney World (imagineering).

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
13.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @13    5 years ago
Nobody needs an imagination today

That is very true. The videos, TV and Internet does our thinking for us, more or less. But, for me, there is just too many other things that keeps my own imagination and creative juices flowing that makes me happy to just cede them to someone else to do for me. (big smile)

I have my computer for my work and some entertainment, but, I don't even own a TV and haven't for 15+ years. jrSmiley_74_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
13.2  author  Enoch  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @13    5 years ago

Dear Friend Buzz: So true.

As Rabbi Dr. Gershon Weiner once said and wrote, "not everything that is new is good. Not everything that is good is new".

Unleashing the power of imagination adds greatly to any experience.

E.   

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
14  author  Enoch    5 years ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: You are not missing much by forgoing a TV.

Contrary to what you may hear from my neighbours, I actually do have a working mind.

Using it keeps the wolves of Dementia from the door or getting a foothold.

By giving the mind active daily workouts we retain our ability to cogitate out of a paper bag.

One sign of intelligence is not getting trapped in paper bag to begin with.

Enoch, Forgoing entrapment in Tupperware.  

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
14.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @14    5 years ago
Enoch, Forgoing entrapment in Tupperware.

Dear Brother Enoch, 

LOL!! I agree. I find life without TV is much more entertaining and interesting, at least for the things that interest me. Instead of sitting and staring at something on the TV that seems like it is intended to dumb me down, irritates the bejeebus out of me, or makes me feel bored to death, I spend my time doing things that make me happy, and hopefully, others as well. 

And also hoping it will stave off the Mind Reaper for a few more years. (smile)

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
14.1.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @14.1    5 years ago

Dear Sister Raven Wing: Staying happy is staying healthy.

We all wish you many more years of both happiness, health and every good thing life has to offer you and yours.

Enoch Heading Out to the Lake With Mrs. E. This Afternoon.

We find peace and contentment at the gentle lake shore waters edge.  

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
14.1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @14.1.1    5 years ago
We all wish you many more years of both happiness, health and every good thing life has to offer you and yours.

Dear Brother Enoch,

Thank you for your very kind words. They truly mean a lot. 

Sitting by or near a lake is very soothing to the mind and soul. Being able to delight in what Mother Earth and Mother Nature provides for us is a great joy indeed.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
14.1.3  author  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @14.1.2    5 years ago

Most welcome, dear Sister.

E.

 
 
 
Al-316
Professor Silent
14.2  Al-316  replied to  Enoch @14    5 years ago

I just might have to borrow your TV, Enoch.

My TV only seems to broadcast shows about people who suffer from dementia; especially the evening news..

We really don't need more dementia in this house. lol

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
14.2.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Al-316 @14.2    5 years ago

Dear Brother Al-316: One evening I viewed the TV for three hours.

I thought it was tuned to a 24 hour  day news station.

Turns out it was the Sci Fi channel.

From now on, only books for me.

P&AB.

E. 

 
 
 
Moonchild63
Freshman Silent
15  Moonchild63    5 years ago

Hello old buddy & belated b-day wishes to the Mrs.!💃

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
15.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Moonchild63 @15    5 years ago

Dear Friend Moonchild63: Welcome back.

You are always welcome in each and every discussion thread in which I am involved. 

Particularly you.

Kind wishes conveyed, and appreciated by Mrs. E.

P&AB Always.

Enoch. 

 
 
 
Al-316
Professor Silent
16  Al-316    5 years ago

Enoch, my celebratory friend.

A tradition is nine letter word for a habit. A habit is a five letter word for a rut. A rut is a three letter word.

The manner of celebrating a birthday should be a tradition. The tradition I follow is either a gathering or a phone call.

A gathering always means food and food makes everyone happy.

Texting and birthday cards are not adequate substitutes for a smile, a hug, or a warm voice.

Give Mrs. E a smile, a hug, and a warm voice for me.

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
16.1  author  Enoch  replied to  Al-316 @16    5 years ago

Dear Brother Al-316: Done, done and done again.

Mrs. E. sends you her very best.

As is the case with family, love is the order of the day.

You have been, are and always shall be family to us.

Close family.

Peace and Abundant Blessings Always.

Enoch, Having My Cake and Eating It Too.

 
 

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