Trump's Best Moments
"Epstein was my best friend, but I never slept with him, or, Melania, Never"! - Donald J. Trump
"Donald's" BE BEST moments:
1. "WINDMILLS Cause Cancer!"
2. "Why Don't We NUKE HURRICANES?"
3. "I Believe PUTIN!"
4. "I Am The CHOSEN ONE!"
5. "I Kown More Than The GENERALS!"
6. "Epstein is a FUN guy."
7. "Thought & Prayers."
8. "FAKE NEWS!"
9. "Bolton might as well be a DEMOCRAT!"
10. "Grab Them By The PUSSY."
What are your favorites Trump "Be Best" moments? Please, share. The stupider the better!
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Never in the history of this country has one so deviant, so inarticulate, so stupid been elevated to the highest office in the land. Please, leave your favorite Trump quotes!
You should do a companion seed.....Words Trump can't spell or pronounce.
Great suggestion, however I can't spell, either. The Dumpster and and I are about the same age. Trump is 74 and lies about his age. I am 77.9.12 and never lie about it. I am proud to still be poking fun at this ORANGE BEAST!
In the 40s, after the end of WWII, some Monkey came up with the "Look See" Method of Spelling, instead of teaching phonetic, which was only taught in Catholic Schools.
It is much harder, but, at least give the reader the tools one needs to "attack" a word to figure how to read it, or, say it.
So, you see, Trump is my peer, my lesser peer.
I love your idea, and, may use it. Thanks.
I will start the ball rolling.
He pronounced the word Nazi... Nozi. Also, in one tweet, he not only spelled his mistress's name wrong, but his wife's also.
Just the other day he said his "wife has a son"... But he doesn't? WTF?
And lets not forget... "I spoke with the president of Puerto Rico." So he talked to a mirror?
What a moron.. LOL
Wouldn't be fair. He only has a vocabulary of 250 words and he can only spell 10% of them.
Since this is "eat the news", didn't trump once ask "can't we just nuke 'em" when he was in confere with his advisors in reference to some middle east country that he was mad at?
Yes, Trump's intellectual level is that a teenager. He is irresponsible, lazy, and unwilling to put the work in that is required to make serious decisions.
Trump improvizes, makes it up as he goes along.
Remember when he said that he never slept with Epstein or Malenia...ever?
Maybe...the kid , like his father, was illegitimate?
One of my neighbor's grandson, age 7, has a fascination with latitudes and longitudes of islands and what bodies of water they are located in. I asked him where PR was and he gave me the correct info. He knew that it is in the Caribbean Sea and not an ocean as Trump said when asked.
Could be, they are a family of cheaters and liars.
Melania has a son.
Rumors have circulated in NYC for decades that Gary is Eric's dad.
So, of course, Horse, I am circulating the rumors, here. At Eat The Press - Do Not Read It, we never vet any of our stories. We don't even know what they means.
We are the ORIGINAL FAKE NEWS, not the "Real News" that our "FAKE POTUS", real "POS" whines about. We are so fake, we just make sh*t up! It is quicker, cheaper, and, less accurate.
Any journalist is able to write the truth. We are not journalist, we are URINALIST. We piss on the News.
We specialize in "near truth", like "near death", it involves the SUPERNATURAL.
Our CEO & Publisher, the lovely Jonathan Livingston Pigeon is a Certified Psychic who has the unique ability to interview anyone from thousands of miles away while they are sleeping and he is "fiddling".
This seance/reading by the "Sleeping Prophet" gets at the tooth, because, when one is asleep, it is impossible for them to lie, except for Trump, who does lie in his sleep.
Therefore, "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo is able to get at the "Tooth, the Whole Tooth, Nothing But the Tooth, so, help me Tooth Fairy."
That, unfortunately, is why Calcified Conservative Republicans desparagingly call him a "fairy", instead of "Doctored", 'cause they can't spell "Doctored".
However, the good-bad "doctored" is able to Brain Wash Trump's lies and get at the "Tooth"!
If you, or some sap, you know would like to LEARN HOW TO READ SOMEONE'S MIND , while they are "napping" and you are "yacking", send $25.00 cash, no checks, please, to:
Eat The Press - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With It
Mildew, Ohio
"Where There Are No Jobs - Not Even Blow Jobs"
It tends to be toxic and will lead to bleeding hemorrhoids.
I take it you tried it!
I heard about it from a friend of a friend of a non-friend.
I'm never the first to try what my sick friends can imagine.
Scary part is that it looks like the UK is following along behind us...
Putin is definitely getting his money's worth.
Boris is Trump brother by another Mother. One that is not so ugly. The Curse Moves on!
"One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace"
Donald Trump
Such a ridicules statement.
Trump is the PRIMARY reason that it is. He is a UNIVERSAL DISGRACE.
All those other decades, without Trump in Politics, has just been "Grand" ….. hasn't it ?
Exactly, compared to the CHAOS, CORRUPTION of this administration even's GRANT'S Administration with all of its corruption is far superior to the disaster that is Trump cobbled together from Robber Barons' Administration.
I
Definitely very ridicules!
I know …. right ?
He shoulda said:
"One of the key things today is that politics is such a "Saving Grace".
My favorite moment was when he proclaimed his love for Kim Jong.
This man is a Certifiable LUNATIC! Republican should be running away from this nut, instead of "covering" for him.
KICK EVERY DAMN REPUBLICAN OUT OF OFFICE.
trump is in love with a LOT of men. Putin first and foremost of course, but also Un, Macron, the ruler of the Philippines, Israel's PM.... and basically any other authoritarian dipstick he's ever met with enough money or power that are willing to act like they like him at all..too bad none of them love him back, they're just using him, poor thing. But then, maybe he wants to be used by some people.
trump is a whore!!!!!
I'll play
March 4 - “just found out that Obama had my ‘wires tapped’
(Technically inaccurate, yet FACTUALLY TRUE!!!!). The FBI did have Trump and all his people under surveillance. The FBI did have a spy in the White House. I suppose any normal human being observing so much of the inner workings of the administration being so extensively covered by the media would reflexively make a statement like that!
The media's insistence that Trump was referring only to wiretapping and no other form of surveillance, told us a lot more about them than it did about him..
Don't you have another thread to be on, the bash Hillary thread, where you said: ' He's a tireless human dynamo, who thrives on adversity & fast food!'
No Tess, I'm free to be where I want. My good friend wants to focus only on what the President says/tweets and I say go for it!
What good friend? What friend?
Don't you know? "Eat the press" and I are friends. We can disagree and be friends, just ask him.
Didn't know, didn't care.
"Eat the press" has tons of friends. He has been my friend since we enjoyed fine vine together years ago.
I think Tessylo was surprised to hear that you have a friend.
That's exactly correct my friend.
You cared enough to ask
Even at Newsvine (that bastion of liberalism) I had friends. On the other hand, there are those who could never be my friend.
Don't forget to give each other a vote.
[Deleted]
[Deleted]
I usually vote for your comments twice.
I have found Vic Eldred's comments on my site to be "refreshingly intectual".
I, naturally, assumed he was an East Coast Liberal Professor.
Give the guy a break. He is a great, gifted writer.
Indeed, Mister Elder is a fantastic wit, a gentleman and a tough debater. I appreciate real discource, instead of all that typical coarse vulgarity slung by the Religious Right when they have their backs to the wall.
If you're a liberal he stated you should be impaled on a spike on top of the border wall. What a pal !
You're half right.
Oh, you sly wit, yourself. We do not have to agree with each other. However, it is helpful to know how the other sides thinks, or, doesn't.
That's okay. I refuse to give pompous arseholes a break, ever.
No, he isn't.
Hyperbole! Trump does it with the truth.
Trump has his "WIRES" tapped! That explains why he speaks like an IDIOT, acts like a H.S. BULLY, and, grabs women by their genitals. (He new way of saying, "Hello"!
If he was smart he would have done what I advocated for any Republican who might win the WH in 2016 - GET RID OF ALL THE OBAMA PEOPLE!
What is hurting Trump's bid for re-election is TRUMP. He is incompetent, an International Criminal, a common thief and a very disturbed object of contempt.
Wow, I'll bet that he was involved in the Lindbergh kidnapping too, even though it took place long before he was born . After all, he can do that because he's TRUMP and TRUMP is the most evil creature in the world. He must be in league with SATAN, just because the Left wants him to be.
A little advice; when trying to convince people, adult behavior works better than childish rants.
Tell that to TRUMP.
He rants, never discusses, spews never defeat.
Trump is totally incompetent, a NY THUG, wannabe Mafia Boss. He is a NATIONAL DISGRACE and an International embarrassment.
Soon you will be able to visit him in PRISON!
Yeah I know, sad. Too bad the investigating authorities didn't realize that even as a presidential candidate with Russian sympathies he was already pure and beyond reproach by mortal men.
No liberal ever gets to say that about anybody. That goes back to when professors were making apologies for Joe Stalin and leftist scientist were giving the Soviets the Bomb secrets. Progressives like to deal in hyperbole & smearing, never in truth. They were traitors then and worse now.
Oh please. Do you have any idea what you sound like?
Trump's "BE BEST" quotes encapsulate how out of touch with REALITY this former REALITY TV STAR really is. Additionally, he is a suspected child predator, rapist, compulsive liar, a pal of Putin, loves Kim Jong Un and is a cruel, selfish "spoiled brat" who has no empathy for anyone.
In a "free" and "open" country there is a multitude of intellectuals that embraces a variety of ideologues, but, none captured the soul of those who may call themselves "LIBERAL".
There is no NATIONAL LIBERAL ORGANIZATION that we all belong to, nor do we have Secret Meetings with Socialist, Commies, or, Fascists.
We are "free thinker", embrace ideas, concepts, people, sexes, ethnic groups, but, there is no LIBERAL AGENDA.
Conservatives are fearful folks that look backward, afraid of change and the future. Many, too many are CALCIFIED lost in the 30s and 40s when calling someone a "liberal" was a kind to referring to them as a "libertine".
Every good change was brought about my LIBERAL. CONSERVATIVE CHANGE NOTHING
Actually John, I think he does; just about the same way you sound when talking about Trump.
What goes around, comes around.
Considering the tactics they are now using (following the party line in unison), Joseph Stalin comes pretty close, although the KGB may have had a hand in the whole agenda back in the 70's.
The KGB had nothing to do with the Civil Rights Movement, or, the Anti-Vietnam demonstrations. They were often led by former Vietnam soldiers who were tired of the lies.
Russia's involvment was clearly observable in Trump's campaign, and the numerous business transaction "the Donald" has had, and still does with the Russian MOB.
With the overwhelming evidence continuing to mount every day, the ONLY people who support Trump are either RICH, RACIST, or, just plain STUPID!
When asked where Puerto Rico is located
"This is an island sitting in the middle of an ocean — and it's a big ocean, a really, really big ocean,"
And lots of water. Really, really wet
I take it that the Natural Sciences stumped Trump.
Geography, along with Reading were not his "favorite" subjects. "Piss and Moaning", where, according to our sauces, "Steve Bunions", a former WH advisor to the "SEWER MOUTH - CHIEF!
Heck, PR isn't even located in an ocean, it is located in the Caribbean Sea.
Thanx for using one of my memes as the "article image".
Here's a new meme:
C'mon man, it's lunch
What a great lunch, and, you can eat as much as you want and still lose weight. It's in the Kamasutra, or, the King James Bible. That cat was out there, Baby!
al Jizz-error, may I use it as my Header for EAT THE PRESS? It feels so right, don't you think.
Yes, I am honored that you have found a use for my meme.
Anyone on this site is welcome to use my memes for any purpose.
Many of the memes I post here are created by others.
Most of the memes I create say "makeameme.org" in the lower right hand corner.
I'm a cheap bastard and makeameme.org is free .
Well, the man does love junk food.
Here's a Trump tweet:
Does Trump plan to run in 2024 after he loses in 2020?
Or does he think he'll win in 2020 and run for a third term in 2024?
No, of course not. He will be in prison. They are saving Jerrey Epstein's old cell for him . . . even the same bed sheets.
No, Trump is just bad at Arithmetic, too. He can't add very well. That why he is always starting a new business, just as his old one plunges into financial ruins. Trump always sells new investors on putting up their money in his projects, then, declaring "bankruptcy".
That was an entire course at his, now, shuttered FAKE UNIVERSITY, Trump University. It wasn't a "University", it was a SCAM, one of many of his SCAMS.
The Presidency is, aslo!
Trump is bereft of the CONSTITUTION,
he thinks he will., but, his Doral BED BUGS will bite him again.
Covfefe
From this article:
Now, that is Journalism at it's finest. Reminds me of our work!
The Daily Show presents some of The Donald's best quotations:
I get together with my dad usually every Thursday for dinner and we catch up with Trevor and laugh our asses off!
Your Father must be a great man. Trevor is fantastic.
I love Trevor!!!!! I love his dimples!!! I love everything Trevor!!!!!
Trump is having the longest STROKE in the history of this country. It is continuous.
Thank you, al Jizzerror, that was hysterical!
Too bad his mother was never "spayed".
Well, then, fellow Left Leaning, Commie-Pinko-Socialist, here, at TheNewsTalkers.commie, I thank you for sharing your RESEARCH. Bravo!
Jerry Nadler just called wanted to know if he might use our RESEARCH for his "Impeachment Investigations". He noted that our research is spot on.
So, is everyone on board?
John Bolton said that he would personally deliver it to the Judiciary Committee now that he HATE Trump. Trump says that he FIRED BOLTON for "Violation of the No Facial Hair Policy" that he put in place upon illegally obtaining the office of POTUS.
An ASIDE: Trump is unable to grow a beard, so, he despised anyone that can! I have it on "highly questionable sauces."
He cannot grow it on his head either.
Thank you for asking.
Here is an X-ray of Trump's skull. As you can see, the contents of his skull are 95% Cerebrospinal fluid and 5% brain.
Nothing, a Black Hole?
That explains why the "Deplorables" and the "Poorly Educated" stick to him like flies to Fly Paper!
like stink on shit
'What do you think is under that hair flap?'
666
A dead RAT!
The flap IS a dead rat.
Remember, be kind to the Dumb, they may come to their senses, but, propablely, not. At least we can confuse them!
You simply cannot make that shit up. Everything they said about Obama, applies to Trump.
I would like everyone that spoke to be reminded of what they said and asked "Do your comments apply to Trump as well?" If any of them say no, someone needs to be all up in their grills.
These are the best words he has said. He will get to say them one more time.
Saying words does not mean you believe them or will honor them.
paraphrased
'me and Lil' Kim....are in LOVE, as he sends me love letters.
You mean to tell me that FOX NETWORK FAKE NEWS is partial? No?
There is a movie called Tank with James Garner. A general used the term Posse Commits and all the redneck sheriff heard was Pussy Communist. It was a total Trump moment.
i vaguely recall that horrible movie
I liked it because I first saw a great future actor...James Cromwell.
I can't wait for the day in 2020, the day after the election, when Trump is once again announced as the duly elected President of the United States.
That will be the day where we will once again see liberal cable "journalists" break down and cry, liberals screaming at the sky, and liberals mass protesting and destroying public and private property, mostly in liberal cities.
That day will be music to my ears and a beautiful sight to see.
Well I hope you have the right "meds" to keep you in the dream world you live in.
Don't need meds. I live in reality.
Let's put it this way...for 8 years of Obama and especially a couple of years before Trump's election, liberals tried to paint anyone that did not approve of Obama 's policies, and conservatives in general, racists, and that was the kind word. Abuella labeled us a deplorable.
Up to today, even after a ass handing, liberals have not learned their lesson. They have recycled every name they previously called us, doubled down on them, and even added to them, highlighting "supremist" as one of their go to words.
Aside from the Russia hoax, and thousands of articles by the rabid leftist media that constantly accused Trump of things they couldn't prove, or had to retract because of outright lies, absolutely none of this has taken Trump down. As a matter of fact, it has made him, and his supporters, stronger.
Look at the current crop of 2020 democratic candidates. Be honest with yourself. Can you, with a straight face, pull the lever for any one of these clowns, or is it because they have a D behind their name, it really doesn't matter.
Trump has this one in the bag.
Actually,it has made USAll far weaker.
Russia hoax ? How ANYONE could call this report a Hoax, after actually reading it, is pathetic and only proves Ignorance DOES Rule
.
Things that have yet to be proven , do not make them not true.
.
How many retractions would Trump have to make (12,587 ? or so) compared to ?
.
The only reason Trump has not been taken down, is due to defenders of A TRUE HOAX
.
No one is Stronger, WE are ALL WEAKER
.
Wake up Trumpsters, you've been taken, and the MAJORITY, refuses to go along with your 'dreams',
.
as we are awake, and more are being awoken everyday, as this POS makes his supporters,
look like ewes, and ewes prove it , in each and every way, as the Shepard leads the bleatin flockers off the cliff
n joy the fall
I have "the right meds" to watch Trump go up in smoke on the night of the election.
In fact I'm sorta "smoking" some right now.
I vape my weed now (partially because Trump hates vaping).
How has Trump made the US weaker?
The rest of your post made zero sense.
When you attempt to answer my question, please be specific and don't let your feelings get in the way of facts.
Thanks.
Your "reality" consists of an unlimited supply of Kool Aid.
What's wrong with Kool Aid?
Actually, I haven't had Kool Aid for over 40 years. So, your "insult" was a fail....again.
BREAKING NEWS: Trump wants to shoot "Whistle Blowers!" What kind of man says things like that? A "wannabe" NYC MOBSTER.
He does ?
How is that different than pulling the lever for the other clowns simply because they have an R behind their names. Until people start voting for the most qualified, no matter what their affiliation is, this dog and pony show will go on.
And we all DO know how they used to deal with "traitors", and we DO know what the "Left" wants to do to Trump !
Please, by all means hold your breath.
Uh-oh.
You can't "death wish" anyone.
You can hope they receive multiple life sentences.
According to Parkes (2005) , a normal person cannot even hold their breath to unconsciousness, let alone death. Parkes says:
Parkes explains that voluntary breath‐holding does not stop the central respiratory rhythm. Instead, breath holding merely suppresses its expression by voluntarily holding the chest at a certain volume. At the time of writing, no simple explanation for the break point existed. It is known to be caused by partial pressures of blood gases activating the carotid arterial chemoreceptors . They are peripheral sensory neurons that detect changes in chemical concentrations, including low oxygen (hypoxia) and high carbon dioxide (hypercapnia). Both hypoxia and hypercapnia are signs of breath holding and both are detected by the chemoreceptors. These receptors send nerve signals to the vasomotor center of the medulla which eventually overrides the conscious breath holding.
The breaking point can be postponed by large lung inflations, hyperoxia and hypocapnia, and it is shortened by increased metabolic rates.
Reference
- Parkes, Exp Physiol (2006); 91 (1): 1-15
Okay, I'm holding a hit.
BTW, I sent you a "Private Note" (don't let the teacher see it).
I'm NOT normal.
I was given a "pulmonary function test" at a local hospital. They had me sit in a plexiglass booth and blow into a tube so they could measure my lung capacity. As I blew into the tube, the pulmonary technician started saying keep blowing, keep blowing, keep blowing. So I did.
I woke up on the floor halfway out of the booth surrounded by very concerned hospital staffers. When I passed out I guess I fell into the door. I was uninjured.
That's the only time I've ever passed out. Butt, I was NOT "holding my breath" so I guess Parkes is right.
One of my favorite trump lies..um..lines.
"I'll be too busy as president to play any golf."
Not only did he have time to spend 300 days playing golf, he has plenty of time to come up with fun names for everyone in the Democratic debate, as well as pet names for his enemies past, present and future and STILL have time to stump for his buddies, bitch about light bulbs and try to smooch up to Putin, Un, Netanyahu and any other "strong ruler" that will let trump bend over for them.
trump will be heartbroken when he finds out king wanna be Netanyahu can't just COMMAND Jewish U,S. citizens to vote for trump.
Bad.
Sad.
I am looking forward to Trump and his criminal enterprise, Trump Organization, and his Family and his key Administration Appointees in chains on their way to the gallows.
There have already been a few Trump administration perp walks. There will be more.
Who in the Trump ADMINISTRATION has ,made the perp walk. Last I counted it was zero.
I agree!
Michael Flynn IS a fucking zero. And he was a fucking foreign agent and Trump's National Security Advisor. Here is the perp walking.
Well, I gave you three days to come up with something coherent, and you failed.
TRUMP - TRUMP - TRUMP (29 TIMES); 6 rape accusations, BF: Jeffrey Epstein. The question is: Who isn't!
Video is fairly long-- but lots of big LOLs once he gets warmed up!
Seth Meyers - Whistleblower Alleges Trump Cover-Up of Ukraine Scandal: A Closer Look
But, that is not a crime because he did not shoot anyone on 5th Avenue, besides Trump was ANNOITED by GOD because he is such a "good person."
Another fav moment of mine was when he deplaned AF1 once and wandered off looking for his limo. It was parked almost at the base of the steps. That man could not find his own ass with both hands, a map, and a guide.