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Eat The Press Do Not Read It

Eat the Press - Do Not Read It! The content is worthless.

Spewing SHAT is where it is at! - Jonathan Livingston Lipschitz ("Doctored")

CAUTION: These Epistles are not yet rated! 256  
(Read first, Masturbate later!)

Our Journalistic CREED:

"The PUBLIC'S right to know EVERY damn thing, right this damn minute, SUPERSEDES our right to tell the truth.

So, we don't! We just make SHAT UP, like "Fox TV Fake News!"

It is quicker, CHEAPER, and a hell of a lot easier, folks.

Try it. Lick It. Isn't that exhilarating? 

Here at "Eat the Press - Do Not Read It" (Don't Read Anything) we adhere to our strict code of ethics, which we expect you to follow as well, or you will go straight to HELL for reading this epistle.

Be advised, Wise Guy!

Do what we do, or no moonshine fur you! No, SHAT, too.

Things you need to know about us:

1.  We DO NOT hire highfalutin j
ournalists, with their noses in the air. We hire exclusively Urinalists .

They, like Donnie J. Trump, like to piss on the News. If it is good enough for Donnie, it is good enough for us, Gus. So, don't cuss.

Urinalists, you see, have their nose in places most journalists "fear to tread" - politicians' restrooms, where the real political shenanigans are formulated by miscreants. (Republicans)
 
2. Our Mission is S imple , as we are. We are called "simpleton" by our chief competitor, FOX TV's "FAKE NEWS for LUNATICS", and we do not deny it.

Our MISSION is, in case, you didn't get it, to "Piss on the News!"

Fox TV Network News' purpose is to LIE, LIE, LIE.

We, here at, "Eat The Press - Don't Read It", rarely lie, but when we do, it is a "humdinger"!

("Rite" that down, Folk-Laurates! It will become handy in your defamation hearings) .

Folks, Eat the Press - Do Not Wipe Your Bun With it, is the headquarters  of Wis-Dumb.

Wis-Dumb must be preserved, written down, or, carved into stone, in order to be preserved on for eons and eons to our intellectually limited Trump progenitors!

 We are the "
Damaged Goods Sold to America" by Dirty Diaper Donnie, who may soon to be your president (not mind)!

My vision for America is "Trump the prisoner"
decked out in an orange jumpsuit, and  forced to bend over every damn day to "PICK UP THE SOAP", until Hell Freezes Over!

Write that down in your " Book of WIZ-DUMB", o n sale now, at all "Hustler Magazine" stores, everywhere in Mur-Ree-KKK-Land!

You see, my beloved, NewsTalkers.commies, Donald John Trump (aka, "Dirty Diaper Donnie") wants to be known as a New York Mafia Don , like John Gotti.

I say, let him. Gotti died in PRISON!


T-Rump loves the limelight and can't keep his mouth shut. So, let's shut it for him.

"Dirty Diaper Donnie" is not "Mafia Don" material. He is "Ronald McDonald" material. Trump is a clown show.

Everyone that is anyone knows that Trump is "insane"! Donnie is a rich, spoiled brats, a confirmed "lying"cork-saker", that aspires to be POSTUS, instead of a POS, which he is. 


DJT is his own worst enemy. He, and, of course, Jack Smith (Special Counsel for the United States Department of Justice, know that Donnie is not the "Genius" that Donnie thinks that he is, but Jack Smith knows that he is a stupid, mentally deranged danger to America and the world.

Our "sauces", Stinky & Devine, former street walkers, now permanent members of Trump entourage, confessed to our Research Team (the Bird Dropping Institute - A Think Bank for Morons, No Idiots, Please, located in Mildew, Ohio, where there are No Jobs, not even "blow jobs", that they don't have a clue about anything, let along DJT.

However, they stated that "Donnie is kinky, a stinky, so stanky and hanky-panty", that he should be locked up, knocked up, and the key thrown away to protect the world from another, impending "Orange-Glow disaster", or, words not remotely similar to these.

256  


Our NYC "sauce" ( Ghouliani) claims that DJT wants to destroy our NATION, install himself as "President for Life", and steal every freaking thing he can get his tiny, orange hands on, including grabbing women by their "Pudy" without asking permission.

Now, folks, that just ain't right in the head!

Ghouliani , also warned, that, "Trump doesn't pay anyone, even his lawyers!

Ghouliani , whines on national TV (Fox Fake News) that, he knows, that Trump doesn't pay his bills, because Donnie has yet to pay Ghouliani's legal fees.
 
It doesn't help that Ghouliani is known tool when looking at young girls, has a compulsion to take off his clothes, and pleasure himself on a cheap hotel bed, while being secretly videotaped.

(Please note:  We use BOLD and ITALICS for the Deaf, Dumb and really Stupid MAGA LUNATICS might more easily get the pun.)

Trump, on the other hand (the right hand) explained why he never pays for anything!

"You don't get RICH, Bitches, paying bills!", explained Trump as he groped a 16 year old girl. Trump explained to our reporter that "If re-elected, I promise not to RAPE anymore underage girls. Boys, however may be another thing. I am quite virle, you know"!

Folks, everyone that is anyone, knows that  "Dirty Diaper Donnie" is a Certified Nut, Career Criminal, Rapist, Compulsive Liar, Cheat, and Adulterer, weighed down not by his official duties, rather a full dirty diaper!

That, folks, is every "Ding-Dong Day", that Dirty Diaper Donnie walks upright, spoiling our environment with his droppings.

As any Nimrods know,   we, here, at "Eat the Press-Do Not Read It", are the "weakest link" in our parent company, the Bird Droppings Institute - a Think Tank for Moron, No Idiots, please, and, therefore, are not responsible for anything that we say or print. Not that we say anything or print anything, worth saying, repeating, or reading.

We are NOT RESPONSIBLE reporters, we are muck ruckers, and proud of it. 

Therefore, what we say, write, discuss, etc., may not be 100% accurate, or, even .10% accurate.

(Well, never is more accurate.)

We just make "SHAT UP"! We like it like that. That is harder, it requires an imagination to make shat up.  Anyone can report on the truth. What fun is that?

Fellow News Talkers.communists, supporting T-Rump does not make you a "GREAT AMERICAN PATRIOT", it makes you a "DIRTY DONNIE LOONEY BIN CONTAINER", a loser, a follower, not a HERO. We be heroes. Trumpers are low-life losers, it's in the Bible, somewhere.

Trump Yappers are known as registered "Death Nil" for America! 

WAKE THE FUGAZI UP, NAZIS!
Pull your head out of Dirty Diaper Donnie's oversized arse before you suffocate. 

I know you are stupid, but, my God, that can't be good for your health or breath.

Why idolize a man who despises you?


______________________________ M
ORE ABOUT US:
256

FOX FAKE NEWS
does it:

"LIE, SPEWS BULL SHAT"! So why can't we?

Our staff is as empty-headed as theirs. Perhaps, more empty-headed than some MAGA-LOONS. (If that is possible?)

Trump supporters, you must admit, are not right in the head! For instance, take the phrase, Trump Athletic Cup Holders.

Listen up dummies, these are not a trophy given to you my your "Golden Ox".

They are his jockey strap, idiots. Suck on that. Oh, that is why you buy them.


It protects one's scrotum. How dumb can Trumpies get?

There is no know answer to that question, is there?


Now, let us discuss more kitchen table items:

SPEAKING of CODES, is there a procedure, or method that I might use on Facebook to avoid those long, lovely, lonely FB Jail sentences when we defame, explain and mansplain Donnie?

Here, on the much more "White Bread Platform For White Folks Only", I get flagged when I mention the word "FAGS".

It is "FLAG", without the "L", for "Lesbian".  Are there any lesbians out their in RED NECK A-Mur-Ree-KKK-Ah left?
The purge of gay people is almost complete due to Trump's eradication program.

"Fag", you see, fellow NewsTalkers.commies, is a Welch word, that mean "to plow the field", and is often I confused with the more word "Fuc", which is the most used word in world, according to our Research Team, Doctors Ding-Dong & Ding-A-Ling.

"Fag" is also and English word short for "Faggot", meaning a small number of twigs tied together, and used to start a fire.

So, if someone is offended by the word "Fag", it also is a term used by teenagers in the '50s-'60s-'70s for cigarettes.

These words send chills up and down the spine of Right- Wing, Christian Evangelicals, or, more parochially, referred to by unphinologists, as  "MAGA-LOONS"! 

Back in my days of growing up in the 40s, 50s, and 60s no one was ever arrested for asking:  "Hey, man, I am out of fags! Have you an extra fag. I am dying for a fag!"

That was when Blacks were colored people, and Whites were always right, and "Peace Reigned Supremely, and Angels Sang in Saloons"!

Things were said to be "copacetic", then, and men were men, and some women were men, too.

WORDS, WORDS, WORDS?

Back in the day, before I was born, my Mother said to me: 
"If you don't stop kicking me, I am going to rip your ass up with a can opener".

So I learned my lesson, and obeyed her.

Daddy didn't. He beat the shit out of her every time he got drunk, which was only on the weekends. "Cause he was a Christian. 

During the weekdays, he was busy banging her, and, of course, paying for that service. That how we paid the rent, utilities, and bought food for the family.


What is a CLEAN, what is a DIRTY?  (Who the FUGAZI decide?)

Is "Faire" , or, the friendlier word "Ferry" a  pejorative?

"Pejorative"
sounds more like a crueler word to me than "faggot".

Who wants to be called "pejorative"? Does anyone even know what that word means? I still don't know.

If someone calls me that, I'll knock them on their "tookass," you know being a fairy, and all.

People are too sensitive nowadays. Apparently, in this newly forming, "Christian Nationalist Era", words are changing faster than a f$%@ing DJT grabbing a woman by her "Pututa".

I am tempted to tell you another inside SCOOP, but I cannot afford another ticket.

Damn it, fart, Hell, I am a "TOOTH TELLER", which angers MAGA LOONS to a WAR FEVER pitch, and send me hurrying to the nearest restroom, because I am a "Born Again Coward", and proud of it!

Besides, as a Registered Chicken SHAT, I tend to too easily "Wet My Pants", in public about as Donnie SHAT's Diaper. No wonder they call him, "Dirty Diaper Donnie"!

I can soil my breeches as much as that Bitches, DIRTY DIAPER DONNIE" soils his DEPENDS.

It's a good thing I was born an upside down, backwoods boy, with a "Compulsive Flight Syndrome"!

I can instinctively sense D A N G E R from a mile away.

256

Especially whenever a drunken, angry MAGA-LUNATICS calls me "DEAR", instead of the colloquial, "QUEER"!

So, I shoot out of there like TRUMP on "Speed, Mixed With Cocaine and Sniffing Adderall tablets up his NOSE, that is when the "Orange Orangutan" grabs a LISBO by her "O? PRUDY", and gets coldcocked every time.

That is why DONNIE is a little off.

"Now, you know the rest of the story!" - Walter Concrete

Chapter II
Warning: "This is for suckers only. Vomit bags may be required for the faint-hearted
, especially if your girdle is too tight. (Applies to Men & Women)!


REMINDER,
my Fellow, Dumb Butt- Wipers, Trump ain't paying you either.

The author of this "frequently condemned" post is considered innocent until proven guilty by a Court of   disgruntled MAGA LUNATICS!

(What other kind is there?) 

Presently, the author, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo ("Doctored") Publisher of the "Less Than Prestigious, Eat The Press - Do Not Read  is on trial for "Congenital Fallaciousness."

A common Republican malady, not known to Demon-Crates, who according to our RESEARCH Team  (within a seven-second analysis) concluded that   EMOCRATES is "Clean", and Republicans are "Dirty"!

Let that sink in, Girl Friend.

Who's "Squirely, Now, Baby?

Folk Laureats, raise your skirt, but, please be tolerant,  respectful,  and kind, or STFU!

256


We, his loyal band of Certified Prevaricators, look forward to a Not Guilty Verdict, as soon as our attorney kicks the shat out of that communist/socialist punk, the prosecuting attorney, Miss Lindsey Graham-Cracker (R, S.C).

She/He is known as the "turncoat Senator" from Dixie, who wears dresses nicely, but, suits dopily. 

Please be courteous, to "Miss Lind-seed Oil Graham-Cracker".

She has taken leave of her senses and has had an unfortunate, bitter, angry, hostile, vindictive turn since we broke up.

I had no idea, a "She", was a "He", and 
"He" did not know that "He" was a "She". 

Since that sad day, the "He" of the "She" coupling has publicly threatened to sue anyone that says "He" is a "Fruit Cake".


So, I am not saying he is a "fruitcake"!

WHICH IS SO OBVIOUS .

"He", formerly, "She" is, you know, in a full-on "Twisted Sisters"  who are recognized immediately, as a "SHE/HE", known as, "Silly Willy"!

If that isn't enough evidence, I don't know what would be enough!


PISS BREAK:

256

Now, that we have settled that sensitive issue about "Miss Lindsey", allow me to introduce myself:

My pen deplume is Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored".


If you don't think I am "Doctored", just take a gander at my Medicine Cabinet.

I take one, two, maybe three hundred pills a day. If I ain't "doctored" who the HELL is?

I entered life directly from an explosion, which accounts for some of my  peculiarities.

Like Donald J. Trump, I am a "Part-Time Idiot and a Full-Time Moron" whose primary role is to "ed-you-mud-cate" folks.

I am not a QUACK, I am an "Unemployed Philosopher" who teaches folks profane things, FREE of charge, for ONLY $8.00 per month.  (CASH)

(Same as Elon Musk's does on Twitter, with his fans.

NO DAMN checks or check marks.

That's just a damn silly shat!

 Well, folks, if you haven't guessed it, I  am a dang-gum-up "BIG SHOT"!
256 NOT BIG SNOT!



  As CEO and FLOUNDER of Eat the Press - Do Not Read It, I advise our readers not to read it, either!  But to eat it, or wipe one's Butt with it.

If you ever want a job as a Trump Wiper, it makes great training.

The value is in the pulp when one EATS IT!

So, Eat It, Michael, Don't Beat It! (That is so passe.)

What many of our illiterate readers may not know is that I am, if I may say so myself, a kind of Kingfish, without the black makeup.

I am  da soul FLOUNDER of the less than prestigious , Bird Droppings Institute-a Think/Stink Tank for Morons, No Idiots, please, also.

We are   located in the nearly all torn-down community of Mildew, Ohio, where there are NO JOBS, NOT EVEN BLOW JOBS!

Thanks to the Re-Puritans who invaded our town and forced us to close down our largest factory, CORK SACKNG, Inc.

You see, we have historic roots.

Big Ones!

Would you like me to show you mine?

Back to the American Revolution, everyone in our neck of the woods was a "Certified Cork-SACKER".

256 The candle stick maker, the undertaker, the mayor (Jonathan-Livingston Lipschitz, and everyone that was anyone, except, of course, Horse, Reverend Oral Fleece, Pasteur of the church of the How Big Is Your Wallet, How Small Is Your BRAIN?

The "Rev" is a distant relative of the current, Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas, and, like his uncle, has a few deals on the side, so he doesn't need to be a cork sacker.

Oral has amassed a fortune from his less-than-bright congregation of "Willing Rubes", just as Billionaire Preacher, Joel Oil Stain does conning his gullible followers.

So, folks if you want to become a gullible follower, come visit us sometime.

256

We are just a sharp RIGHT turn from anywhere in

MUR-EEE-KKK-LAND.

Since we got shut down by the Re-Puritans and lost our biggest employer we had to improvise, so we are now in the Tourist Biz.

If you are driving, instead of walking as most of us do, we are the second exit from the sign that reads, "Twilight Zone"!

Just make that super, SHARP, RIGHT turn and you will be right there!


To Be Continued
(Maybe, if you send your hard-earned money to me, instead of to "Dirty Diaper Donnie", we would have as much as that "Orange A-Hole, Shat Shoveler" has!

More episodes are coming, of this compelling book are coming as soon as JACK GETS OFF.

Sorry, folks, my "Drug Dealer" has arrived. I need my   medicines to get all riled up, again, so I man right.


************************** 

I have a " Tale Two Tell of Two Cities Two You" (Only $8.00 per month). I ain't spreading my wisdom for nuttin' !
It's all about the MONEY, HONEY!

I, like my fellow neighbors, was born and bred in Mildew, Oh-High-Oh!

We are a modestly prosperous "holler" located next to the county's Waste Treatment Plant, and adjacent to the city Dump.

Nevertheless, we were a successful village with our factory, "The Cork Sacking Factory"! 

Why, folks we even had our own "Spin-Off" factory, a Knee Pad factory. If one is a CORK SACKER, one needs lots of sturdy kneepads.

Everyone in town was a "Cork Sacker", including the mayor, the candlestick maker, and the undertaker!

People traveled from all over the Midwest to get their Cork Sacked. We were renowned as the "Best Cork Sacking Holler in all of 'Murica"!

Until those self-righteous, religious nut-jobs, Talkin'-In-Tongues, Right-Wing Maga-Lunatics invaded our lovely little paradise and shut everything down!

Their mouthpiece declared "Corn Sacking" illegal, and vile! (It ain't, it just smells that way. and sinful.)

The Re-Purr-I-KKKans took charge and ruined our town, then packed up, and moved on to another town to sack.

One might say, "They became CORKSAKERS , too"!
 
Needless to say, our brains are minuscule, and our hands are big!

Currently, we are located in that lovely, but, nearly all torn-down Village of Mildew, Ohio, where there are NO JOBS - NOT EVEN BLOW JOBS!

So, naturally, as mostly demon-crats we had to go on the "guv'mint tit" living like rats on guv'mint's cheese.

We dang near evaporated. If it weren't for "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Lipschitz we would have all perished in that "Hill Billy Paradise in the Sky," where classical music was played all the time.

It was this lizard wizard who recommended that we get into the "Tourist Trade" that saved our palookas. 

MORE LIES AND WHINING COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU SOON!

Send $8.00 per month for  all the free speech you want, sent to you "free of charge".

To Be Continued, or not. "You decide, we write!"












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Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
33  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    2 months ago

To understand my tomes, it might serve your well, as Buzz of The Orient, explained to me, that to better understand these heart felt pieces of literary smut, it may serve you well, if you read our FRONT PAGE.

Richard Pryor told me me, after reading a monologue I wrote for him, "Man, you one funny white dude, but you is a SICK FUC"!

I took it as a compliment. To this day, I am still waiting patiently for that $500 he promised me.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
32  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

MOMMAS:

"Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Trump Thumb Suckers.

Donnie Suck enough for all of us."

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
31  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

Donnie has a new SCAM. The most corrupt sinner in 'Mur-Ree-KKK-Ah is now peddling BIBLES!

Is there no bottom to low for Donald to Go?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
30  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

A lot of peoples, don't know dis, but eighter do eye. So that is why I ain't gonna tell you nothing. Jesus is Donnie, Donnie is Jesus, God is their Father, and HE needs MONEY, TOO.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
29  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

As many of you LEFT LEANING LIBERALS, too lazy to get a job, 'cause you spend all day day & night playing that damn Demon's Game, "CORN HOLING", when you ought to be out looking fer a JOB, that don't exist in the Biden Administration of "Do Nothing" policy.

-Mur-Ree-KKK-Ah is going to HELL in a handbag, what different does it make if it is a DESINGER'S handbag, it was probably made in CHINESE LAND by Communists, and sold on the Streets of New York Cities by "Illegals takin' good jobs from our recently released felons.

That ain't right.

What's Right is "Dirty Diaper Donnie's" had, fart...er...fought battle to get back in the White House, where the first thing he is gonna do is to paint the White House ORANGE!

Don-Don, "The Con" stinks ahead and intents to make brown eyes, blue.
In order to accomplish Donnie's Agenda, Don The Con, needs your MONEY, Honey.

So if you want to save 'MUR-REE-KKK-AH, then did dig. We cannot have BOOK MOBILES driving all over creation, shoving Scientology down the throats of tinny-tiny, innocent Christian child's throats filled with non-Jesus messages.

We, America's White Saviors, must be the guardrail, front tires, and back door to protecting our country from East Coast Liberals who attended upscale colleges with in-door plumbing. 

How in Hades can one teach our killdren if'n we don't stag a-head of the game.

So, send MONEY, Honey, that is what it is all about...shake it out and turn you spouse, the louse around, and till he is so confused, he doesn't know he got pick-pocketed. That is how the money drops.

Remember, Jesus and Donnie are one in da same. Hallelujah, and pass the ammunition.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
28  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

It's time to WAKE UP, MAGA LOONS, this time you won't be shooting at children in a CLASS ROOM.

A Well Armed Military is going to teach you a lesson you. Drop you Weapon, Pull Your Pants Up, make a decision:

Do I want to die for "Dirty Diaper Donnie" and the "CLUSTER FUGAZIS" that suck as his trough? Or, do I want to LIVE to see another day?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
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27  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
27.1  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @27    3 months ago

And you want to re-elected the BEAST? To do  WHAT? Tear our democracy because this ORANGE MONSTER has a bur up his ARSE.

It's time to grow up. It ain't happening.

A VOTE FOR DUMP  is proof positive that you are a MAGA LOONEY TUNE, pissed off because your life is a broken promise, divorce, stuck in a job you hate, and others, possibly, your former friends are succeeding, so you, an ARSE WHIP want to grab your weapons and start shooting unarmed Americans!

STAY THE F&^% HOME.

There will be an Army present and you will be shredded.

Pull your head out of "Dirty Diaper Donnie's" ARSE, and smell the roses, not his soiled DEPENDS.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
27.2  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @27    3 months ago

And, this is who you want LEADING our country?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
26  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

At 82.3.14 years, I can't keep tell you how to run your LIFE.  AVOID "Dirty Diaper Donnie" at all cost!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
25  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

At 82.3.14 years, I can't keep tell you how to run your LIFE.  AVOID "Dirty Diaper Donnie" at all cost!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
24  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    3 months ago

So few realize the time and energy it takes to produce an 

EPISTLE as complicated as this, and as depressing...

Send MONEY, Honey!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
23  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    9 months ago

Wasn't this enlightening? It was so enlightening that the curtains caught.

I thought for a moment that I was being RAPTURED.

Then I realized it was smoke, not clouds and I had to act quickly or the house might go up in flames.

And, I certainly want to explain that to my wife.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
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22  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    last year

Do you know how much I had to pay for those two posters?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
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21  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    2 years ago

It is getting worse, CB. I am now 80.11 years, rapidly approaching my EXPIRATION DATE, and no one, not even you are sending me the "$8.00 per month, to read by 
FREE Blog. (What the HELL is a "Blog.", anyway!

Where have I gone wrong?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
21.1  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @21    last year

Excuse me for the length, I had to get this poison out of my system. I feel cleanse. I bet you don't after reading a few sentences.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
20  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    2 years ago

If I seem brief, I apologize, but I only had 25 minutes between my shock therapy sessions, so I had to race thorough as fast as me little fingers would allowed me to do so.

Otherwise, Nurse Rachet would cut them off.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
19  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

Someday, someone will read this tome, and, say, "This is hilarious," or, not!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
18  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

WTF is this piece about? I have no idea. Do you?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
17  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

This is the Introductory page to Eat The Press - Do Not Read It! Do Not Read Anything, Ignorance is Bliss. Ask any Trump Supporter!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
16  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 years ago

It seems that very few, here, on the NewsTalker.com appreciate the unsung songs of a Liberal tossed into a Sea of Conservative Chips. Lonely, literate and unabashed, I remain, respectfully yours, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, aka, Wintrope Merridethe, the Turd, Reverend Oral Fleece, Little Johnnie Jump Up and Doctors Ding-Dong & Ding-A-Ling, conjoined Siamese Twins.

Send Money. I am drowing here, and can't get up.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
15  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago



The Noose around the Fake POTUS, real POS, is tightening. Two of Trump's cabinet picks, and Rudy Giuliani, are photographed partying with Jeffrey Epstein, the accused Child Sex Traifficer and BF of "Don, the Con".

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
14  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

Sometimes, like now, I wish I could SHUT UP, don't you?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

I keep editing and re-editing this introductory article. I believe it is improving, do you?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13.1  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @13    5 years ago

No!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
13.2  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @13    2 years ago

And, still it sucks.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

Help Me, Help. I am still here. Someone, anyone toss me a rope!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

The reality of our life that we see, like light, can be distorted through the prism of one's mind, beliefs, even, under an aluminum foil hat.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

This is a "Work In Progress". I am using it as an opportunity to jump around through the ages of me life without restraint. One day I hope to sell it for a new used TV.

Be patient, my love. I did not go cracker all at once. It took time.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

A Point of Inquiry:

Is there a method to save one's work, without posting/publishing it, in order, to edit it when the medications wear off?

I like to write as rapidly as possible exposing all the demons at once, then. go back later and disguise them with corrections.

But, how does one SAVE a work in progress, here, on The News Talker, when composing a "Block Buster Article", I ask?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

Read it and Weep, Muther - Fuckars! The icing is in the cake, not on it.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

CB:  Here, I hope, is the link to one of me FB pages:




 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

Not much action, Jackson! What is up with all these pro-Trump, neophytes?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
5  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

196

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

Now, 77.5 years ripe, and "befuddled" as ever.  How do I find the page where I might "illuminate" my Fellow News Talkers with my "twisted, Unemployed Philosopher's Wisdom"?

I cannot find the correct button to hit. So, I smack my favorite photo of Trump.24

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4.1  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @4    5 years ago

That was an excellent improvisation. Do it again. It will make you swoon!196

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    5 years ago

Hey BadFish, "Peaking", are you? Right back at you. I throw it all up there, then, from time to time go back and edit.

A lot of the time, I wonder "What the Freakin' Frack is WRONG WITH ME?"


 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    7 years ago

Have I heal, ye, Badfish?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2.1  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2    3 months ago

No, offense, BAD FISH, but, I was under the impression that a BAD FISH, was not a good thing.

Is there a CODED MESSAGE in there somewhere. That is the rage now.  People write in CODED MESSAGE.

I think I do, do you. (Get It? I don't)

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1  CB    7 years ago

HEY BADFISH! Now here's a real 'Joker!'

Close to 76 years are ye, Eat The Press? Or shall I appropriately state, "Ye are close to 76 years old?" Well buddy, it took me a while to locate you on Newstalkers! This story is priceless! A bit exotic and uncultured, but thou are a great comedian, aren't ye? I was having a discussion with my family physician, and guess what?! I was told to decompress, to crack up more often, to stop 'grinding rocks,' and *poof* your article lands in my lap! So hop out of there and up on the platform you go!

NewTalkers needs a staff comedian (and they don't even know it yet!) Don't forget: keep your paystubs! You're going to need. . . maybe not. It's the age of Trump after all!  Old topic: New subject: Got "pampered" Manafort?!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.1  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1    5 years ago

Thanks, CB, that Joker Crack was a joke, right. 'Cause I am a "congenital cracker".

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.1.1  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1.1    3 months ago

Now, 82.3.16 year, wow how times flies buy when one is having fun.  You, CB, are a good person, friend and a lot of F U N!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.2  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1    5 years ago

CB:  I've revised this some. Give me some feedback.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.2.1  CB  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1.2    5 years ago

I don't see these things (over here); is this a blind spot? I came here on another mission (looking for an article where an insurrectionist ID himself!)

Is this place still active and under production? Or has it seen the light of day yet?

Hey you!

You have to publish you know, before we can know it, mi amigo!!!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.2.2  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1.2.1    5 years ago

Currently, as you forecasted, I am under seize by a cabal of Right Wing "Agitators" who swarm to my site like a beetle to dung, whipping themselves into a froth.

This place is riddled with arrogant right-wing zealots that abuse their combined role as "moderators" and Trump Apologist like Weapons of Mass Destruction.

Their objective for some time, now, is to get me suspended. Several of my articles have been "LOCKED" for spurious reasons, and some "Metalized", whatever the Hell that is.

I have perused the CofC and do not find my posts or articles in violation. I do, however, find the same angry Trump posters, a cluster fu*k of 4-5 five hardball "Trumpers" to be "screwball" pitchers.

Any advice?




 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.2.3  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1.2.1    4 years ago

Yes, CB. I love to but the Harpies are out in force with their ticket books. Takes the fun away when they shut down half of the respondents and me for expressing my view.

WTF is up with "Sweeping Generalizations?"


 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.2.4  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1.2.1    4 years ago

Big BLIND SPOT in me head.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.2.5  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1.2.1    3 months ago

I think my Mania is accelerating since I stopped taking my meds.

What say you!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.3  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1    2 years ago

I am now 80.6 years, and, you are the only friend I have, here, on thenewstalkers.communist.

What is wrong with you?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.4  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  CB @1    3 months ago

I resemble that accusation. I am NOT a "Joker", I am a "Stroker", a "Choker" and, on the week-ends, to earn extra money, a "Hooker". Is that wrong?

In today market, it is the wise owl that is multi-tasked.