Did #45, do #2, during Jury selection?

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  34 Comments  •  3 Likes  •  8 hours ago

“"Fragrance is a powerful influence..." Perfume Tester”

The Juror selection process was interrupted this afternoon to allow "Dirty Diaper Donnie" to be removed from the Courtroom to address his biological needs. Several potential jurors held their noise, while the Defense claimed it was an "orchestrated protestation of  'bias' against their client,...

Republicans' new Conspiracy: "Hunter Biden Snuffed O.J."!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  31 Comments  •  4 Likes  •  2 days ago

“"Desperate people say desperate things about other people!" - Animus”

Broke Back Mountain's BREAKING NEWS:"The Hole News & Nothing But the HO's News, So Help me GOD of Redemption! According to Broke Back Mountain's sordid "sauces", Ghouliani, and Steve ("Never Bathes") Bunions,  a "RIGHT WING cabal", spearheaded by Margaret Taylor Green (aka, "Three Toes"), and...

Sissified LIBERALS - "Stand Back & Stand Down"!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  56 Comments  •  5 Likes  •  2 weeks ago

“"Don't hire the STUPIST, most corrupt Ass-wipe to do your job. Hire the most pristine". -Anal-molus”

Brothers & Sisters of the "CORNHOLE DEGENERATION", you know who I am talking about:You Left Leaning Liberals & Right Wing-Nut Jobs to lazy to get a job, because you are wasting your life away playing that damnable Devil's game, "CORN HOLE"!Why when I was a kid if I told my parents I...

Is "Dirty Diaper Donnie" losing his SHAT!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  1 Comments  •  1 Like  •  2 weeks ago

“"A brown stain, of unknown substance, and putrid odors FOLLOWS Dirty Diaper Donnie, where every he goes!" Jonathan Lipschitz, Part Time Idiot &...”

My Fellow Lipschitz, Donald J. Trump, aka, "Dirty Diaper Donnie" is single-handedly turning 'Mur-Ree-KKK-Ah into a SHAT HOLE.Under "Sleepy Joe's" watch, NO one has a job, not even a blow jobs, that is what Donnie is screaming to his MAGA LOON CROWD of Whack-A-Doodle!"Things is dat bad, Honey",...

We Must Prepare For WAR! Our Enemies Are!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  13 Comments  •  2 Likes  •  2 weeks ago

“"Trump is under the control of PUTIN!" - John K Roberts”

Trump is not in charge of anything, except creating CHAOS, distrust, dissension, FEAR from within.The sexually perverted CIRCUS CLOWN is not a free agent.Trump is Putin's "BITCH".T-Rump Bone-Spur is dancing to the tune of a maniacal leader, Vladimir Putin, who is first and foremost, a ruthless...

Donnie's SECRET WEAPON. It's not his charm, intelligence, competence. It is his DIAPER!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  Satire  •  18 Comments  •  1 Like  •  4 weeks ago

“"Dirty Diaper Donnie" is losing his SHAT! - Jonathan Lipschitz, Part Time Idiot & Full Time Moron”

Donnie J. Trump's threat to HUMANITY is not his hot tempers, insane rantings or "know-nothing" approach to governance.No, Sir-Ree-Bob-A-Looney Tunes, it is his DIAPERS, always filled with a gigantic, full load to protect him from would-be assassins, warrant servers, and Melanoma.No one with a...

My Fellow Americanos, 'Dis is Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, with another "down & dirty" PIGEON REPORT

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  68 Comments  •  4 Likes  •  4 weeks ago

“"da TOOTH is NOT da TOOTH, if yu touch it with your fingers". - Anomy”

Friends, Romans, and Fellow Cunt-ree-menes, the World, as weed know it, but didn't smoke it, is going to "HELL 'N a HANDBAG"!What difference does it make if it is a DESIGNER'S handbag?It was probably made in China by Communist Chinese workers, and sold on the street of 'Mur-Ree-KKK-Can-Operns, by...

Putin Tells Trump, Trump Tell Mike Johnson, Mikey Tells Republicans in Congress

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  8 Comments  •  4 Likes  •  one month ago

“"Mamas Don't Let Your Children Grow Up To Be Putin's Bitches!" - Unknown”

When "Telephone Tag", and the World's Diplomacy lags, it's time to send the Children to a Home.Sing-A-Long wit me:"Momma and set the Children Free,or throw their cute, tiny, round arses in the Freezer, if'n dat is to be."Momma don't let your babies grow up to me Putin's Bitches.Nor play dat...

Trump Spiraling Out of Control, Again!

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  News & Politics  •  10 Comments  •  2 Likes  •  one month ago

“"Don't hire the STUPIST, most corrupt Ass-wipe to do your job. Hire the most pristine". -Anal-molus”

This morning I was awakened by much clattered, so I hollered out in my sleep.The next thing I knew I was hustle out of bed by the CIA, FBI, PUTIN CUTE COMMIES FOR KRIST, KIM JUNG UN'S UNATTRACTIVE DAUGHTER, AND A SQUAD OF CHINESS CHINKS.It was a loud, unholy mess, so I went back to sleep, and...

Mike Jonson, Speaker of the Louse, SCREAMED out his fellow girlfriends, "I am NOT GAY", even though no one ask.

By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It  •  Satire  •  6 Comments  •  2 Likes  •  one month ago

“"The Tooth Will Out You" - Symonds Freeohlies”

BREAKING NEWSDirect from "Broke My Back Mountain"In a shocking lack of decorum, Speaker of the Louse, Mickey Johnson, lashed out at his fellow girlfriends, screaming, "I am NOT GAY! I just look that way"!He, quickly followed up with this explanation, which no one believed:"My wife cure me in just...