Recently I retired after working 47 years as a Hand Towel in a Gay Bath, in NYC. Having reached the rank of "head wiper" there was nowhere else for me to go. So, management, did the right thing and kicked my white ass out the bad door with nothing but a tin can. Then, ten minutes later returned and took the tin can back.

So, at 75, I decided to return to my first disappointment, "Stand Up, Sit Down, Roll Over Comedy".

Are there a number of Open Mics in Dayton, where you do not have to bribe your friends to buy tickets to see you make an ass of yourself?

How might I become an inmate of your Exclusive Group of Dysfunctional Society Rejects clamoring for attention, here, at The News Talker?

Like my boyhood hero, Jonathan Winters, I, too, was hatched in Dayton, Ohio, but, was asked by Officials to leave at an early age.

Currently, I am the Publisher and Flounder of Eat The Press - Don't Read It - The Content is worthless. We are the REAL FAKE NEWS, not the "real news" that our FAKE president whines about. We are so fake, we just make SHIT UP!

Send money, honey.