Ender

The Bad Shopper

  
By:  Ender  •  Advice  •  6 days ago  •  204 comments

The Bad Shopper

Those that know me know I like to complain. I have a tendency to burden people with my problems. Sorry about that.

For some reason I cannot stop myself though. Maybe I am just selfish that way. So I am going to burden you all with my problems again. I have another one.

All of my underwear seems to be bad. I put on a pair today and the elastic was shot. Pulled them up and nothing. Just about fell down again. Then I tried to pull my pants up, usual stuff and the band folded over on itself.

I know people would say, just put on another pair. I did think of that. I tried on another pair and it had a hole in it. I thought come on. How does that even happen?

Then I need to do laundry and the only pair I have left now are really small. I would feel like something would pop out any any moment. Not that anyone would see, just be a tad bit uncomfortable for a while.

Besides being a tightwad and really just lazy, I guess I need to break down and buy some.

I really hate shopping for them though. Standing in the middle of a department store staring at men's underwear.

People look at you like you are a weirdo or something.

Then add on top of it, boxers, boxer briefs, briefs. I saw a pair of I guess some kind of weird hybrid boxer brief kind of thing. It went down to your knees. I almost want to go in, grab some tighy whities and run...

The ones I have with the elastic shot are Adidas. Lasted for a while. I like Adidas but when these got wet they made my ass itch if I had to sit down like on the boat...So kinda looking for something else.

What I will probably end up doing is waiting until I break down one night and try to find something online. I just have to figure out what I want. I don't necessarily want to know what people wear but any recommendations would be helpful. I am thinking about a mixture of different kinds. Just order a whole bunch at once. Bite the bullet and be done with it.

Until the next time...

Tags

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JohnRussell
Professor Principal
1  JohnRussell    6 days ago

TMI

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.1  author  Ender  replied to  JohnRussell @1    6 days ago

Just having a little fun John....Haha

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
1.1.1  JohnRussell  replied to  Ender @1.1    6 days ago

I recommend plaid boxers by Hanes. Hide accidents well. 

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Principal
1.2  Split Personality  replied to  JohnRussell @1    6 days ago

I have similar issues on the days I bother to get dressed, lol.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.1  devangelical  replied to  Split Personality @1.2    6 days ago

with winter here and no place I need to be, I find myself conserving a lot of water by not showering as much or creating any unnecessary laundry. call first if you want to come visit...

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.2.2  author  Ender  replied to  devangelical @1.2.1    6 days ago

We'll smoke on the patio....

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.3  devangelical  replied to  Ender @1.2.2    6 days ago

right after you vote up your own article...

give me something to work with ffs...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.4  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @1.2.3    5 days ago

... well?

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
1.2.5  CB   replied to  devangelical @1.2.4    5 days ago

Ender is a/n/former EMT specialist, I think. I wonder what underwear 'horror' stories have climbed/landed in his transport.  EMT Transport Horrors - Underwear Edition!!

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.2.6  author  Ender  replied to  devangelical @1.2.4    4 days ago

Alright. Jeez...Haha

I voted it up. I usually never vote my own articles.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
1.2.7  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @1.2.3    4 days ago
right after you vote up your own article...

Vickie always does that.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.8  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @1.2.7    4 days ago

she has to.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.2.9  author  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @1.2.7    4 days ago

I am bad about voting though.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.2.10  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @1.2.9    4 days ago

I always vote mine up. It helps it make it to the front page. Dont be shy, Voting up your own comments on the other hand....

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
1.2.11  cobaltblue  replied to  Ender @1.2.9    4 days ago

I am bad about voting though.

Read my avatar lips.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
1.2.12  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  cobaltblue @1.2.11    3 days ago

I love it when you talk dirty, even when it’s not to me.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
1.2.13  cobaltblue  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.2.12    3 days ago

I love it when you talk dirty, even when it’s not to me.

It's been proven that 69% of people see something dirty in every sentence.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
1.2.14  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  cobaltblue @1.2.13    3 days ago

You nailed it, or I nailed it, it’s definitely nailed.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     6 days ago

Order your new boxers on Amazon. No visit to the store and you'll get them in a couple of days.

Other than that I have no other advice.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
2.1  author  Ender  replied to  Kavika @2    6 days ago

It's not like I want you to model some or anything...

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Principal
2.2  Split Personality  replied to  Kavika @2    6 days ago

You beat me too it.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.3  devangelical  replied to  Kavika @2    6 days ago

I agree, buy everything online, as long as you know your sizes...   ...the last time I was in a clothing store, I had spent more time finding a preferred parking spot than shopping inside the store. wait until you see the prices of clothes now. I'm ready to go back to strictly polo shirts and levi's or shorts... oh wait, that's what I'm wearing...   

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  Kavika @2    6 days ago

Best idea. I buy as much on line as I can. I hate shopping

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.4.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.4    6 days ago

shopping got me divorced. I can't tell you how many times I tried to be the good husband and go shopping with the ex, only to spend all fucking day wandering thru every f'n store in the mall and ending up with the first item that she saw in a store hours before. when people wonder why mass shootings happen in malls, I've got a pretty good idea...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.4.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @2.4.1    6 days ago

My husband got lucky. I avoid the malls as much as I can. He likes to shop more than I do

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
2.4.3  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.4    4 days ago

Best idea. I buy as much on line as I can. I hate shopping

I hate shopping too. Even as a young girl, I hated shopping. But I had to because of work. Wore 3" fuck me pumps every day for work ... like just about every other woman ... for decades. Luckily I started out in Los Angeles then went with my boss to the Century City office. Both places had fantastic shopping within walking distance so shopping could be limited to lunch hours or an hour or so after work. Never had to fuck up my weekend by having to go shopping. Ugh. 

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
2.4.4  author  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.4.2    4 days ago
He likes to shop more than I do

Home Depot doesn't count...jrSmiley_100_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
2.4.5  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @2.4.3    4 days ago
Wore 3" fuck me pumps every day for work .

Do you own a pair of Fort Worth "fuck me boots/"

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Sophomore Quiet
2.4.6  afrayedknot  replied to  al Jizzerror @2.4.5    4 days ago

Just guessing our friend can pick and choose, shoes or no shoes…

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.4.7  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @2.4.5    4 days ago

I used to keep a pair of "Me love you long time" cruisers in my 'bag.'  But that was, Once Upon A Time in a Land Far Away. . . . Memories. That's all I have nowadays. Infamous/famous reflections on bygones that likely will not cast a shadow on this life again (or now that I have put that in the air- 'somebody,' some forbidden to me lonely old soul might 'spirit' me away into a sustained marriage. . . that's forbidden (to me), but I can't help myself to say "Stop, no, don't."  (I have been known to swoon every now and again, Al Jezz' and take to my 'cushions.')

Anyway, you were being 'charming' to Cobalt, so let me step back and not be a third-wheeler looking for a 'turn'. . . .

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.4.8  devangelical  replied to  cobaltblue @2.4.3    4 days ago

dressed to the nines and wearing shoes you can't run in somehow doesn't make good sense.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
2.4.9  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @2.4.8    4 days ago
shoes you can't run in

Have you seen her spinning heel kick?

512

Boom!

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.4.10  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @2.4.4    4 days ago

LOL! We were in another town one day for one of my daughter's band thingies. We had some time to waste so we went to Lowe's. My son says to his dad:

  "Dad, is Lowe's like a Toys R Us for grown-ups?"

We all laughed our selves silly.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.4.11  Trout Giggles  replied to  al Jizzerror @2.4.5    4 days ago

I don't think they make cowboy boots with 3 inch spike heels...do they?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.4.12  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @2.4.8    4 days ago

Why do you think men invented high heels?

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
2.4.13  cobaltblue  replied to  al Jizzerror @2.4.5    4 days ago

Do you own a pair of Fort Worth "fuck me boots/"

Do have cowboy boots. Don't have 3" of heel on them however.  

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
2.4.14  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.4.12    4 days ago

Why do you think men invented high heels?

No shit. Instruments of torture until you realize after years, your calves have stretched to accommodate the stride. Then trying to wear ballet flats are torturous.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
2.4.15  cobaltblue  replied to  afrayedknot @2.4.6    4 days ago

Just guessing our friend can pick and choose, shoes or no shoes…

Mmmmm ... flirty poetry. 

83c59d661d0d6d736b9baea68aced8b8.jpg

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Sophomore Quiet
2.4.16  afrayedknot  replied to  cobaltblue @2.4.15    4 days ago

Too kind, but never mind…the outcome is the desired result. I wonder just where we’ve met before…perhaps on  the ethereal plane…a lovely place indeed. 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
2.4.17  cobaltblue  replied to  afrayedknot @2.4.16    4 days ago
I wonder just where we’ve met before

I found you when I didn't even know I was looking for you....

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
3  Buzz of the Orient    6 days ago

I had the same problem with the elastic waistband after my jockey underwear was washed many times, so I used a safety pin to tighten it - works okay. 

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Principal
3.1  Split Personality  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    6 days ago

It's taken a lifetime to get over being raised Catholic by survivors of the Great Depression and WWII.

I finally started throwing out socks and briefs that have holes or failed elastic.

I can still hear my mother (still alive at 93?) telling us to eat everything when we were little

or the Armenians & Ethiopians will be mad at us /s 

I lie to her and tell her I donate the underwear and socks to GoodWill for rags...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1.1  devangelical  replied to  Split Personality @3.1    6 days ago

I hear that. I buy the 12 pairs for $xx white socks so I won't have to toss the entire pair if I destroy one.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.1.2  author  Ender  replied to  devangelical @3.1.1    6 days ago

You all a bunch of cheap ass....

Haha

The last socks I got was from Christmas two years ago.

All in a box called twelve days of socks. All with a picture from the cartoon Rick and Morty....

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1.3  devangelical  replied to  Ender @3.1.2    6 days ago

when I was employed I bought my wardrobe once a year, based upon how often I wanted to do laundry. so like 10 or 12 of everything, and I still got the shopping done in way less than an hour.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Principal
3.1.4  Split Personality  replied to  Ender @3.1.2    6 days ago
You all a bunch of cheap ass....

320

Why YES !!!!

320

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.1.5  CB   replied to  Split Personality @3.1    6 days ago

God bless "Moms" - Gotta love her! :)

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.1.6  CB   replied to  devangelical @3.1.3    6 days ago

Okay,. . . here comes 'trouble" — I'm just going, uh, nope, . . .yeah,....okay-K here we go: Boxers or Briefs, 'beefcake'?!  . . . WHATa What? I'm just sayin'!

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1.7  devangelical  replied to  CB @3.1.6    6 days ago

boxers, since I sometimes have to answer the door...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.1.8  CB   replied to  devangelical @3.1.7    6 days ago

Allllrriiiighty now. Is it 'warm' in here or is it somebody I know ?!!!

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
3.1.9  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @3.1.7    4 days ago
boxers, since I sometimes have to answer the door...

I answer the door naked if it's Mormons or fucking Jehovah's Witnesses.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1.10  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @3.1.9    4 days ago

the JW's sound more fun. they usually have a female involved...

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
3.1.11  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @3.1.10    4 days ago
the JW's sound more fun. they usually have a female involved...

They pretend to cover their eyes, butt the smile give them away.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.1.12  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @3.1.11    2 days ago

it's that snake in the garden of eden thing...

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
3.1.13  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @3.1.12    2 days ago
it's that snake in the garden of eden thing...

There was a snake under Adam's fig leaf.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.2  author  Ender  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    6 days ago

Hahaha

I had a pair of pajama bottoms I did that to. All stretched out. I thought, what if I roll over in my sleep and it stabs me...

I threw them away. Now I done have any pajama bottoms....jrSmiley_85_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.2.1  CB   replied to  Ender @3.2    6 days ago

320   Now you know I want to be all in your 'biz'!  And I'm being 'coy.'  (You don't have to respond to that.)  jrSmiley_36_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
3.2.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Ender @3.2    4 days ago

I threw them away. Now I done have any pajama bottoms....

Pictures or it's not true.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.2.3  author  Ender  replied to  cobaltblue @3.2.2    4 days ago

Wait a minute....(uh yes, the number to planet fitness)...Sorry, anyway, wait hold on...(yes do you all offer instructors? I kinda need to work on my legs)...Pictures you say? One second....(it is how much? let me get back to you)...I think I am going to start riding my bike again. I will snap a pic...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.2.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @3.2.3    4 days ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

that was way clever

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
3.2.5  cobaltblue  replied to  Ender @3.2.3    4 days ago

I will snap a pic...

Clever as the devil, and twice as hot.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.3  CB   replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    6 days ago

HA

Oh my! Now that is a 'ringer.'  Makes me remember the days growing up of babies in the house, cloth diapers, and 'safety pins.'  . . . somebody would ask why is that baby bawling its lungs out? On closer inspection: An open safety pin was "sticking" it.  Boy, do babes today not know how "good" they have it!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
3.3.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  CB @3.3    6 days ago

Have to admit that the safety pin opening has happened now and then.  Of course I felt it, but at least the pin didn't penetrate.  

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.3.2  CB   replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3.3.1    6 days ago

Snap * 256   2 Snaps* * up and you sir are my next big adventure!

See. Okay now. That's when you know you have been 'heard'! A real international man has been keeping up with my 'penetrating' comments. "Read" Buzz! I love it when you 'quote' me. (Just funni' with you, sir!)  

—Dirty Boy Enterprises .

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
3.4  cobaltblue  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    4 days ago

I had the same problem with the elastic waistband after my jockey underwear was washed many times, so I used a safety pin to tighten it - works okay. 

What if your glasses break at the temple and you need to use that safety pin to fix them?

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
3.4.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @3.4    4 days ago
What if your glasses break at the temple

What about glasses that break in the middle?

Do you recommend a "nerd band aid?"

512

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
3.5  cobaltblue  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    4 days ago
so I used a safety pin to tighten it - works okay. 

I just realized safety pinned underwear is another indication of old age. It's like one day you're all young, daring and fun and poof! The next day you're turning down the radio in the car so you can see better.

 
 
 
Hallux
Junior Principal
3.5.1  Hallux  replied to  cobaltblue @3.5    4 days ago

Whenever I see you I turn the volume up ...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.5.2  CB   replied to  cobaltblue @3.5    4 days ago

Now see hear original , what you seem to be sayin' is "safety shorts" is a conservative way of dealing with unruly underwear. :)

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
3.5.3  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @3.5    4 days ago
turning down the radio in the car

I have to blast rock or death metal to drown out the hip hop bass coming from the fucking Jeep in front of me.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.5.4  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @3.5.3    4 days ago

Damn! I'd imagine the two 'cells' wrapping around each other might cause sound tornadic activity and a broadcast event from your local weather center!

I think the exact opposite of hip hop bass is death metal rock, right? AeroSmith got it just about as close can go with getting 'lit':

Aerosmith - Walk This Way (Live From The Office Depot Center, Sunrise, FL, April 3, 2004)

RUN DMC - Walk This Way (Official HD Video) ft. Aerosmith
 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
3.5.5  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @3.5.4    4 days ago

That’s quite the imagination CB, good for you.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.5.6  CB   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.5.5    4 days ago

Well, I couldn't choose which to imagine properly. So we go with both as Winners! It's just so uplifting and good for ya too!

LIKE THIS!

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
3.5.7  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @3.5.6    4 days ago

Exactly 

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.5.8  author  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @3.5.3    4 days ago

I always wanted a Wrangler....

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
3.5.9  cobaltblue  replied to  Hallux @3.5.1    4 days ago
Whenever I see you I turn the volume up ...

Another sexy survivor. Smart too. Loved your idea of using "meatloaf" as our safe word since it's clear there are some things I will do for love, but I won't do that.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
3.5.10  cobaltblue  replied to  CB @3.5.6    4 days ago
It's just so uplifting and good for ya too!

Like bras without underwires.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
3.5.11  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  cobaltblue @3.5.10    3 days ago
Like bras without underwires

Underwire hell, just Free the Nipples.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.5.12  CB   replied to  cobaltblue @3.5.10    3 days ago

Walk this way . . . kiss this waaaay . . . . kiss-smiley-clipart-smiley-emoticon-kiss-face-clip-art-kiss-smiley-900.jpg

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.5.13  CB   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.5.11    3 days ago

I am seeing your avatar in a whole new 'stiff' profile right now. Ugh!

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
3.5.14  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @3.5.13    3 days ago

You see what your bias allows.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.5.15  CB   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.5.14    3 days ago

Now and again: That's rich (of you)! I apologize for being 'mean,' nevertheless.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
3.5.16  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @3.5.15    3 days ago

Mean?

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
3.5.17  CB   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.5.16    3 days ago

Accept the apology. Don't over-think it,. . .please.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4  author  Ender    6 days ago

For a while it was the style that the band mattered. Walk around with the underwear band above the jeans and have a logo...

Supreme.....

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
4.1  devangelical  replied to  Ender @4    6 days ago

I had suspenders attached to my tool belt so it hung off my shoulders instead of pulling my pants down.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4.1.1  author  Ender  replied to  devangelical @4.1    6 days ago

That is a good idea actually.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
4.1.2  CB   replied to  Ender @4.1.1    6 days ago

No. NO. NO!

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Principal
4.1.3  Split Personality  replied to  CB @4.1.2    6 days ago

yethhhhhhh

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
5  Mark in Wyoming     6 days ago

wear a kilt and ya dont have to worry bout those under things , tis a bit "breezy" this time of year though ....

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1  author  Ender  replied to  Mark in Wyoming @5    6 days ago

May be a little shrinkage involved in the cold up there...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.1  CB   replied to  Ender @5.1    6 days ago

Now, I have GOT to share this, because it is something that happens to "me" cargo pants with tie in front. Immediately after I bought this one specific pair (I "keeps" me some 'cargos' at this point in my life) the tie came out and got lost. Unlike you, Ender,. . .and just like you as a matter of principle I wear this pair of cargos without a tie in front. And, glory be, I have never approved of "sagging" in my life. . . but, you could beat me with a stick if when I go out in public those damn cargos don't start 'waisting' on me. And I am doing that thing 'saggers' do: the "pull-up, release, repeat" through-out.

Well, I got 'smart, (really?) and decided to belt those "puppies" atop the waist. . . and go out in public. . . my thinking is no one would know the difference—they did not. Until.

Now I go to a store for shopping that has bins all over the store. So I am bending. . . in a bin. . . and I imagine I am giving great 'form' and superb 'shape' back there. . . only to come back up and the darn belt is 'riding up' around my waist (women I 'feel' your suffering) and me-cargos are, you got it—sagging.

What's a. . . guy to do?

Well, and Ender this is where you come in to the story: I have decided to get rid of those 'peculiar' cargos and PAY FOR another pair of cargo "my lovelies" with my own money! Of course it is my money, I just repeated that as an enhancement.

Ender! Splurge on yourself. Indulge yourself!  Be thankful you still got something down there that interest you in covering up and go get yourself something nice - boutique/couture  even -  just for you (It's a small shop and no one will laugh/gawk because 'everybody' is there for the same things)!

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.2  author  Ender  replied to  CB @5.1.1    6 days ago

I have done that. The walk trying to keep your pants up.   Hahaha

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.3  CB   replied to  Ender @5.1.2    6 days ago

I hope it was not because your "unmentionables" were dropping it like its 'hot'! Ahem! jrSmiley_68_smiley_image.png    (Personal note: I think, could it be, the first time I have used the "devil" emoticon in a comment?)

On a serious note: Who was it that said:  "You've got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,"*. . .?   Deal with the 'undies' life have given you. And go get yourself some new pairs.

I have been supplied two lessons in life about undies. 1. You don't want to fall out in public and have EMTs talk about cutting your clothing away/off and you can't let them because of your underwear 'situation.'    2. You want everything to be 'in proper order' in those undies if you wake up 'naked' in a hospital in a gown.

SPLURGE!

JUST DO IT! (No reference to the corporation.)

* The great Kenny Rodgers. The Gambler. 1978.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.4  CB   replied to  Ender @5.1.2    6 days ago

I felt like (and occasionally did it too) women when they are walking and have to 'step it wide' to change the slant/tilt of what's underneath. Really, I do. But, this article is having a positive effect, because though I have not gotten all I can out of this pair of cargos, I have made a 'command decision' to retire those bad 'boys.' 

Ender! You made it happen. Round of applause ! 256

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
5.1.5  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @5.1.4    6 days ago

I apologize because I don’t understand your reply to Ender.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.6  CB   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @5.1.5    6 days ago

5.1.1   CB   replied to  Ender @ 5.1  

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.7  al Jizzerror  replied to  CB @5.1.1    6 days ago
me-cargos are, you got it—sagging.

I never wear a belt because I have a huge scar on my lower back.  If my pants are too loose, I just put my hands in my pockets.  People think I'm playing "pocket pool.  I kinda like that.

It's a shame that cargo pants have no pockets

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.8  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.7    6 days ago

Cargo pants have pockets, my friend! :)

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.9  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.7    6 days ago

OOOh, sorry about the scar. :(

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.10  al Jizzerror  replied to  CB @5.1.8    6 days ago
Cargo pants have pockets, my friend!

Duh.

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
5.1.11  Mark in Wyoming   replied to  Ender @5.1    6 days ago

well it IS the season of the old Carhart joke . 

Tis the time of year to be digging through 6 inches of carhart insulated clothing  to find a half inch of ding ding .....

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.12  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.10    5 days ago

Point of clarification: Cargo fleece pants are my 'dream' outfit these days:

f448ea98-21f3-4057-9df5-c8eef33199e8.fa74b5f3218018765707a73130b2713d.jpeg

I want those cargos just looking at them! And I am going to go get a pair or two (again) any day now!

 
 
 
shona1
Junior Participates
5.1.13  shona1  replied to  CB @5.1.12    5 days ago

Arvo...ahhh tracky dacks with pockets...

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Guide
5.1.14  pat wilson  replied to  shona1 @5.1.13    5 days ago

I always enjoy your Aussie expressions.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.15  al Jizzerror  replied to  shona1 @5.1.13    5 days ago
ahhh tracky dacks with pockets...

I love all kinds of sweatpants (but they hafta have pockets).

The pockets eventually get "holey" (and then you can scratch your balls without taking them off).

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.16  CB   replied to  shona1 @5.1.13    5 days ago

Yes! Yes! And, yes! These are 'everything' in comfort to me nowadays! And yes Al Jizz', I love 'me-cargo' pockets galore! I love how these pants drape, hang, and feel on the body. And the outer material takes 'forever' to give out! (Which is why I am going to hate dropping my newest pair out of the line-up; no matter it will be replaced by two more pairs, nevertheless!)

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Guide
5.1.17  pat wilson  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.15    5 days ago

jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.18  author  Ender  replied to  CB @5.1.12    5 days ago

I kinda like the shoes...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.19  CB   replied to  Ender @5.1.18    5 days ago

Yeah boy! "He" is sharp dressed 'man.'

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.20  devangelical  replied to  Ender @5.1.18    5 days ago

albino vans...

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.21  author  Ender  replied to  CB @5.1.19    5 days ago

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.22  CB   replied to  Ender @5.1.21    5 days ago

Great tunes! 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.23  cobaltblue  replied to  CB @5.1.8    4 days ago

Cargo pants have pockets, my friend!

al knows that. He was just offering a 'dad' quip. 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.24  cobaltblue  replied to  CB @5.1.9    4 days ago

OOOh, sorry about the scar.

It's sexy. I love scars. Not those silly "I shaved my legs with a new razor" scars, I mean surgery or accident scars. Wear them proudly. It's evidence of survival, evidence of overcoming adversity, evidence of mental strength. 

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.25  CB   replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.24    4 days ago

Al Jeez! It's me with an update: Cobalt thinks you're way hot! "Rattle" your bones and get 'with' it!

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Sophomore Quiet
5.1.26  afrayedknot  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.24    4 days ago

“…evidence of mental strength.”

Scars galore…a knee, an ankle, and a prominent one on a jaw…good stories all. And I’m as mental as they come.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.27  al Jizzerror  replied to  afrayedknot @5.1.26    4 days ago
Scars galore

Hold my beer.  

Here's a couple of my scars.

1.  I went thru a windshield.  I got over 2,000 stitches in my face and neck.  They used up all of the sutures in the OR and finished up with "butterflies".

2.  Cervical fusion.  Metal plate and six screws in my cervical vertebrae.  Unknown number of stitches.

3.  Lumbar laminectomy.  Unknown number of staples in back.

4.  Wrist and leg lacerations (barbed wire).  Several stitches here and there. 

5.  Other "minor" shit, not worth mentioning.

6.  I used to party with hockey players (before they wore helmets).  I got respect because I had more stitches (and teeth). 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.28  cobaltblue  replied to  afrayedknot @5.1.26    4 days ago

Scars galore…a knee, an ankle, and a prominent one on a jaw…good stories all. And I’m as mental as they come.

Scars are stories of your life. They're meant to be kissed. Although I am confused as to why practically every single man on earth (only a slight exaggeration) has that horizontal scar at the bottom of the chin just where it curves under. I always ask about how it happened, and it's always something different; falling onto handlebars, climbing a fence, shaving. 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.29  cobaltblue  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.27    4 days ago
 I got over 2,000 stitches in my face and neck.

Survivor. Sexy af.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.30  author  Ender  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.28    4 days ago

I have a scar on my forehead and one on my wrist. According to some religions the evil will be marked on the forehead and wrist.

So I live like I was doomed anyway....

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.31  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.29    4 days ago
Survivor.

It was a car wreck (obviously).  I had just "graduated" from boot camp.  My fucking company commander was drunk driving.  I was shot gun.  The responding ambulance took us to the closest ER.  They wrapped some gauze around my head an told the ambulance driver to take me to the Navy Base because they didn't want me on their death records.

I had lost a lot of blood butt I never even lost consciousness.  I would have cussed the fucker out but the ambulance driver did that for me.

Those were the good old daze.

Q:  What does a shipwreck have in common with a deflowered virgin?

A:  Bloody semen.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.32  al Jizzerror  replied to  Ender @5.1.30    4 days ago
I have a scar on my forehead and one on my wrist. According to some religions the evil will be marked on the forehead and wrist.

Are you hitting on Cobalt (again)?

I always do.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.33  author  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.32    4 days ago
Are you hitting on Cobalt (again)?

Why the nerve!

512

You have to romance a lady like that.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.34  author  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.31    4 days ago

Damn. We didn't wear seatbelts back then.

One time three of us were going somewhere, I forget where. The driver a friend of mine was a terrible driver anyway, I could tell stories. We were all in a van at night and he decided he needed to lean over and get a kleenex or something and when he turned he turned the wheel. We rammed into a telephone pole.

I was actually ok even though I ended up in the front of the van when I was in the back.

The guy shotgun lost his front teeth when he hit the dashboard.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.35  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.29    4 days ago

One reason I got so many stitches is luck.  The Doctor that had ER duty was Dr. Anderson who happened to be a plastic surgeon.  I heard him ask the nurse to prepare the anesthesia.  I told him I didn't want it because I was going off of active duty at 8AM.  He said, "Okay, it's ready when you want it.

Anyone can handle a few stitches (I didn't know the extent of my injuries).  He started sewing above my left eye brow.  When he sewed up my eyelid he said, "You're lucky, somehow you cut through you eyelid butt your eye is fine."  I kept thinking that I could leave after a few more stitches.

When he finished the eye he said, "Geez, you cut your nose in half.  Let me give you the anesthesia now."

I said, " No thanks, I'm going home when you finish."

He said, "Good.  You've got a concussion, so I shouldn't give you anything for pain anyway."

He finished with my nose and he started looking at my throat.   He said, "Damn, you cut is already healing so i need to open back up...  Holy shit!  You carotid artery is exposed, if it had been cut, you would be dead."

He used up the rest of the sutures on my throat.  Then he said, "I'm going to hav to use butterflies on these little cuts so the scars will be worse.  Butt most of the little cuts are above your hairline so they won't show when your hair grows back (I had a boot camp buzz cut - no fucking hair).

The surgery took about 8 1/2 hours.  When they finished cleaning the blood off of my eyes, my sight returned. I got off the table and started to walk out.  A Corpsman grabbed me and said, "Wait, what do you think you're doing?"

I said, "I hafta pee, where's the fucking men's room?"

The Doctor said, "Go with him and be ready to catch him."

As we walked across the crowded waiting room everyone was looking quickly away.  The people were military personnel and dependents who had probably seen battle scarred Vietnam vets.  I knew then that i was a scary looking mother fucker.  For some reason i started smiling.

After I peed, i went to the sink to wash my blood caked hands.  I made the mistake of looking at  the fucking Frankenstein Monster in the mirror.  My knees buckled, butt I caught myself on the sink.  I knew I would NOT be discharged from active duty today.

My Battalion Commander was waiting for me with a wheelchair when I came out of the bathroom.  I found out later that he beat the shit out of the Company Commander (the driver).  And I was taken to the dispensary where the Navy ambulance guys hung out playing poker and listening to the radio calls.

They asked me if I wanted to play butt I told them I just wanted to lay down.  I didn't know I was on fifteen minute vital signs.  I thought I would go to sleep butt they kept taking my vital signs every fifteen minutes and told me not to sleep because of the concussion.  I said, "Fuck it and I got up and played poker through the night."

I apologize for the length of this comment.

 In retrospect, not all of the "good old daze" were all that good.

Butt Cobalt is right - I'm a fucking survivor.

 
 
 
shona1
Junior Participates
5.1.36  shona1  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.35    4 days ago

Evening Al...well one thing... after all that nothing here would eat you..to tough..

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.37  al Jizzerror  replied to  shona1 @5.1.36    4 days ago
nothing here would eat

Wait... what about the fucking "Shelias?"

Australia eve has tiny jelly fish that  are deadly.

Everything in Australia is dangerous.

Even the cute little Kolas will bite your fucking pecker off.

You guys even have Tasmanian Devils.

 
 
 
shona1
Junior Participates
5.1.38  shona1  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.37    4 days ago

What... our Tassie devils are cuties!!..how could you not love them..😁

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.39  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.24    4 days ago

Then you would love the one on my ankle. Looks like a shark took a bite out of my lower leg

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.40  Trout Giggles  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.27    4 days ago

You win. I have my fair share especially one on my face where I ran into a barbed wire fence on a sled...but you win.

I still have that ankle fracture scar.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.41  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.28    4 days ago

I've got on on my chin...where I fell on the asphalt on the playground chin first

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.42  al Jizzerror  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.40    4 days ago
You win.

As they would say in the UK; "It's not a bloody competition."

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.43  Trout Giggles  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.42    4 days ago

The more blood the better!

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.44  al Jizzerror  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.43    4 days ago

I've donated over 50 units of blood to the Red Cross butt I've never received a transfusion. 

With various wounds, I've, at times, lost lots of blood.

We should be "blood brothers" (or would you be a "blood mother?"). 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.45  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.39    4 days ago

Then you would love the one on my ankle. Looks like a shark took a bite out of my lower leg

I would love it! Scars are signs of strength, emotional stamina, and living life and carrying on. 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.46  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.40    4 days ago

I still have that ankle fracture scar.

I say "I rolled one" and I mean a joint. You say "I rolled one ... and fractured the shit out of that rolled ankle."

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.47  author  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.40    4 days ago

The perils of sledding in farm country...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.48  devangelical  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.45    4 days ago
Scars are stories of your life. They're meant to be kissed.

I have a circular scar that I got when I was a baby...

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.49  cobaltblue  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.35    4 days ago

Butt Cobalt is right - I'm a fucking survivor.

Which is why every scar should be kissed. As gratitude. 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
5.1.50  cobaltblue  replied to  devangelical @5.1.48    4 days ago

I have a circular scar that I got when I was a baby...

Is yours a white cool cat with shades?

e08240b54404d4ad059496ed5bc5dc82.jpg

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5.1.51  author  Ender  replied to  devangelical @5.1.48    4 days ago

That took me a minute...

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.52  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.46    3 days ago
"I rolled one ... and fractured the shit out of that rolled ankle."

Yep.

Been there and broke my ankle too.

I had to wear a brace on my ankle to play volleyball for about a year.

Butt, Santos had to have both of his knees replaced for lying about playing volleyball.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.53  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @5.1.48    3 days ago
I have a circular scar that I got when I was a baby...

Yeah,  I got one of those too (no I'm not Jewish).

Circumcision is fucking genital mutilation of innocent babies.

My son has his fucking foreskin. 

 
 
 
MonsterMash
Sophomore Participates
5.1.54  MonsterMash  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.53    3 days ago
circumcision is fucking genital mutilation of innocent babies.

My son has his fucking foreskin. 

I guess that's OK for guys that don't mind their dicks looking like anteaters.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.55  al Jizzerror  replied to  MonsterMash @5.1.54    3 days ago
dicks looking like anteaters.

512

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.56  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.55    3 days ago

No way; not if 'it' looks like that!!!

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
5.1.57  al Jizzerror  replied to  CB @5.1.56    3 days ago

Apparently MonsterMash thinks an uncircumcised " dicks look like anteaters."  (see comment # 5.1.54  )

jrSmiley_88_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.58  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.57    3 days ago

he seems to be the site authority on the subject...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
5.1.59  CB   replied to  al Jizzerror @5.1.57    3 days ago

With that 'thing,' where do you begin doing 'business'? Looks. . .threatening. There is a lot of words one can say about a penis: dangerous should not be one of them. jrSmiley_100_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
6  al Jizzerror    6 days ago

I can' believe no one has posted the simple solution to crappy under wear.

Q:  Boxers or briefs or boxer/briefs?

A:  Save time (and money) just go COMMANDO.

I haven't worn underwear (it's no fun to wear) since my hippie daze in the late sixties.

Every woman who has made that discovery, has found it to be a turn-on.

And, of course, when women make discovery, I find it to be a turn-on too.

512

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
6.1  author  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @6    6 days ago

Last time I didn't I was a teen. A bunch called into the office and they wanted to search us for drugs. The wanted to search us and told us to drop them. My friend kept saying, you do don't us to do that...

Back and forth a couple of times and he finally said fuck it. Dropped and bared it all.

They dismissed us so fast after that...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.1.1  CB   replied to  Ender @6.1    6 days ago

Do you know if women go, "Commanda"? 

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
6.1.2  al Jizzerror  replied to  Ender @6.1    6 days ago

jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
6.1.3  al Jizzerror  replied to  CB @6.1.1    6 days ago
Do you know if women go, "Commanda"? 

YES!

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
6.1.4  author  Ender  replied to  Ender @6.1    6 days ago

That didn't make much sense. A lot of errors in there haha

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
6.1.5  devangelical  replied to  CB @6.1.1    6 days ago

... only on the weekends. date night to be specific...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.1.6  CB   replied to  devangelical @6.1.5    6 days ago

LOL!

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  al Jizzerror @6    6 days ago

Mr G goes commando in the winter when he wears jeans. He wears those weird boxer briefs in the summer when he wears shorts. I guess he's afraid Little G is going to pop out.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.2.1  CB   replied to  Trout Giggles @6.2    6 days ago

"Little G"? Trout G', did you 'out' Mister G'?  :)

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.2.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  CB @6.2.1    6 days ago

Uh...Little G isn't 5 foot 10,,,,thank Mary

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.2.3  CB   replied to  Trout Giggles @6.2.2    6 days ago

I understand 'brilliantly'! :):):)  (You handled that perfectly. Thank you for being a sport!)

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.2.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  CB @6.2.3    6 days ago

jrSmiley_93_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
6.2.5  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @6.2    5 days ago

the only time I ever went commando was late 70's early 80's working construction, but I was wearing bib overalls all the time and it was summer.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Participates
6.3  Freefaller  replied to  al Jizzerror @6    6 days ago

The down side of Commando is accidently zipping up a little bit of skin from the little guy.  Time has not faded that memory a bit.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.3.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Freefaller @6.3    6 days ago

ow

except I don't really have a point of reference

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
6.3.2  Kavika   replied to  Freefaller @6.3    6 days ago

LMAO, a not so fond memory.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
6.3.3  al Jizzerror  replied to  Freefaller @6.3    5 days ago
The down side of Commando is accidently zipping up a little bit of skin

After that (OW!) happens you get very careful and tuck with the left hand while zipping.

It's also painful when you zip up you pubic hair (so, I trim that fucking bush).

Cobalt trimmed her bush into a lovely "heart shape".

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
6.3.4  CB   replied to  Trout Giggles @6.3.1    5 days ago

Ouch is correct, TG'! And I will tell you that every guy who has ever gone 'commando' remembers that sensation of "Got ya."  Thanks to Freefaller for reminding ME of why I 99.99 percent STOPPED going commando. It is not a nice feeling at all to be caught by that zipper (which we have with us all our days)!  And if the pain/shreik of zipping it 'up' isn't enough—unzipping off the captured piece of skin is similar (if not exactly) to having a stuck zipper on any clothing apparel! It is stuck zipper apparel times 2!

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Sophomore Principal
6.3.5  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  al Jizzerror @6.3.3    5 days ago
Cobalt trimmed her bush into a lovely "heart shape".

That was a lovely photo.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
6.3.6  al Jizzerror  replied to  Kavika @6.3.2    5 days ago
LMAO, a not so fond memory.

There is a somewhat painful learning curve.

A pirate with a hook and an eyepatch encountered an old pirate friend on a bar.

His friend said, "Holy shit!  What happened to your fucking hand?"

The pirate said, "Shark."

His friend asked, "What about your eye?"

The pirate answered, "Well there a learning curve with a hook...." 

"Aye!"

"Yep."

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Sophomore Quiet
6.3.7  afrayedknot  replied to  al Jizzerror @6.3.6    5 days ago

“ I don’t want to be a pirate.”

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Participates
6.3.8  Freefaller  replied to  Trout Giggles @6.3.1    5 days ago

Lol that was an ow, unfortunately the only cure for zipping it up is unzipping it.  YOW!!

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
6.3.9  al Jizzerror  replied to  Freefaller @6.3.8    5 days ago
the only cure for zipping it up is unzipping it.  YOW!!

Yeah, it's a fucking "twofer".

512

I never went to the fucking ER, I just used a BandAid and cussed a lot.

A woman once confessed to me that she put her mini pad (with "wings") sticky side up in her panties.

She said when she pulled it off slowly, it was worse than getting waxed (the pad was covered with pubic hair).

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
6.3.10  Kavika   replied to  al Jizzerror @6.3.6    5 days ago

LOL, no instruction book with the hook.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
6.3.11  devangelical  replied to  Kavika @6.3.10    5 days ago

I wore button fly levi's for decades because of an incident in the past.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Participates
6.3.12  Freefaller  replied to  al Jizzerror @6.3.9    4 days ago
I never went to the fucking ER

Me neither but I'd probably still be standing there in fear and pain (I was only 9 at the time) if my brothers friend hadn't seen and saved me

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
6.3.13  cobaltblue  replied to  Kavika @6.3.2    4 days ago

LMAO, a not so fond memory.

Oh no! Not you too Kavika! 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
6.3.14  cobaltblue  replied to  afrayedknot @6.3.7    4 days ago

“ I don’t want to be a pirate.”

Just wear the damn shirt!

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
6.3.15  author  Ender  replied to  cobaltblue @6.3.14    4 days ago

I can hear his whiney voice saying it every time I read that.   Hahaha

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
7  CB     6 days ago

One more thing from your "friendly" laundry side of things:

Downy Commercial "Date" (2020)

This is my best advice for the day! If not helpful for the 'here and nowers' it can assist with keeping the "newbies" in charge/shape for the future!

It is odd to me that he takes his 'top' off to sit down on a date. Who does that?!

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
7.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  CB @7    6 days ago

The poor bastard looks like a "eunuch"?

512

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
8  CB     6 days ago

This is my second best advice for the day!   A 'onesy' and a hoop!

Slave to the Rhythm - Grace Jones

Be a Spectacle! The hoop never drops down below her waist!!

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
8.1  CB   replied to  CB @8    6 days ago

I will be the 'first' to admit I have loved this song since the late 70's (Ms. Grace is not spring 'chick') but she has always been avant garde and she is a French citizen for most of her life. I admire that she can keep that hoop coming while talking, singing, and walking on stage before all those people. That said, I do under why her 'behind' is out for all to see. I mean she has an orchestra playing on stage behind all those 'hips.'  A bit grandiose, in a good way (I guess)?

I don't bring this up to be promoting of the video. The question has 'haunted' me all night since I posted the video and even when I showered this morning, so I feel I have to broach it even if no one takes it up!

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
8.1.1  devangelical  replied to  CB @8.1    5 days ago

my first thought was wtf? a hula hoop? goofy french TV... but I found the network logo and it's belgian TV,  close enough...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
8.1.2  CB   replied to  CB @8.1    5 days ago

Dept. of OOPS!

That said, I do NOT under why her 'behind' is out for all to see.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
8.1.3  devangelical  replied to  CB @8.1.2    5 days ago

french TV is so bad some state of undress is required in the programing, and nudity is expected in the commercials.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
8.1.4  CB   replied to  devangelical @8.1.1    5 days ago

Devangelical, you are like becoming my muse! I hope you don't mind. You give me 'cause' to reach back to another time. And I am having a ball! (I hope you get something out of it too. You researched Grace Jones 'performance'?! Outstanding!

And now this: Here is the 1985 MTV video ('early days of video 'killled the radio star'):

Grace Jones - Slave to the Rhythm (official video)

You think she is eccentric with a hoop; . . . what do you think of Ms. Grace JONES' 'art' circa 1985?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
9  Trout Giggles    6 days ago

I used to get socks and underwear every year for Xmas. When I was in college my Mom was helping me with my laundry and was very disapproving of the holey socks and underwear. She told me to go buy some and I said why bother you'll get them for me for Xmas.

I never got socks and underwear ever again from Mom.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
9.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  Trout Giggles @9    5 days ago
I never got socks and underwear ever again from Mom.

I was lucky.  When I was a teen, my Mom always hid a twelve pack of Trojans (marked one night supply) in my Xmas stocking.

512

(Please ignore that stupid "Roll Tide!" horse shit.)

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
9.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Trout Giggles @9    4 days ago

I never got socks and underwear ever again from Mom.

My Mom got my sister underwear for Christmas every single year. When she passed, I bought my sister underwear every Christmas. Still do. 

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
10  CB     5 days ago

A final bit of advice (in the train of suggestions): That stretched out underwear is akin to its 'cousin" - Holey.

Holey underwear is not H-o-l-y. underwear.

Don't celebrate it, don't kneel before it. Just let it go onto the trash heap of life. And when you stand before the trash bin of life remember to thank that wretched cotton/polyester blend for giving you the best that itS 'got.' That is, oh yes I'm going there:

THANK IT FOR ITS SERVICE.

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
11  Sparty On    4 days ago

Best underwear hack ever.

Go commando.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
11.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  Sparty On @11    4 days ago
Go commando.

Yep.  comment (6).

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
11.2  devangelical  replied to  Sparty On @11    4 days ago

... can't find it in camo?

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
11.2.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @11.2    4 days ago
... can't find it in camo?

All of his shit is camo, so he can't find his camo underwear in the pile.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
11.2.2  author  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @11.2.1    4 days ago

Now I want camo underwear...

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Participates
11.2.3  cobaltblue  replied to  Ender @11.2.2    4 days ago

Now I want camo underwear...

Victoria's biggest secret: Bondouflage.

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRaN2t4ybR_P1C0759EeLE1GbXHG9maQTRA_QaXZuH9waDOGJWRpp3KuPUqgSyUxsUzM0&usqp=CAU

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
11.2.4  Sparty On  replied to  al Jizzerror @11.2.1    3 days ago

Once again your logic is seriously flawed.    

If all his shit is camo and his camo underwear is lost in the pile.    How is he finding pile in the first place?    It’s all camo .......

Correcting you is getting old.    So old.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
11.2.5  devangelical  replied to  cobaltblue @11.2.3    3 days ago

snake boots won't protect that.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
11.2.6  author  Ender  replied to  devangelical @11.2.5    3 days ago
Y'know, my python boot is too tight
I couldn't get it off last night
A week went by, and now it's July
I finally got it off
And my girlfriend cry
"You got stink-foot!
Stink-foot, darlin'
Your stink-foot puts a hurt on my nose!
Stink-foot! Stink-foot! I ain't lyin'
Can you rinse it off, d'you suppose?"
 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Junior Expert
12  al Jizzerror    4 days ago

Pixelated underwear is also available:

512

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
12.1  author  Ender  replied to  al Jizzerror @12    4 days ago

That is actually hilarious.   Hahaha

I want a pair.

 
 
 
Veronica
Masters Expert
13  Veronica    4 days ago

I bought the hubby new FOTL whisking boxer briefs.  He loves them.  He is a heavy duty mechanic & gets wet & sweaty - whisks the moisture away from his private parts...