╌>
Perrie Halpern

Heroes

  
By:  Perrie Halpern R.A.  •  Personal  •  6 years ago  •  66 comments

Heroes

Most people think of heroes as people who do amazing selfless acts to aid those or act on behalf of those they do not know. And while this is true, most heroes are just everyday people facing everyday trials and tribulations. 

Tonight I lost a friend. She was one of the bravest people I have ever known and she was a hero to those of us who face chronic illness. Seven years ago, my friend Sue, was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. Against all odds, she fought it and she did it with a smile and with a joke to spare to lighten any tough moment. She was actually pronounced cancer free after 4 years, but her joy was short lived. About a month later the cancer had returned and she underwent the same grueling treatment that she did the first time around. She never complained. She never wanted to talk about it. She was too busy living life and enjoying her sons and her hubby. 

I went to see her about 2 weeks ago. She was was weak but her mind was sharp. She joked with me and asked me if she looked good enough to go dancing. I laughed as I tried not to cry. I told her I loved her and she told me she knew and she loved me, too. We had some time together and I am grateful for that, since that would be the last time I saw or spoke to her. She would not see anyone after that visit. 

Sue will forever be my hero. She taught me how to face adversity with grace and bravery. She was a wonderful woman who never deserved this kind of ending... but then again, no good person does. I will never forget her but I chose to remember her as the tiny girl who could take on the world and make it look easy.  

1936005_1069049333673_4428610_n.jpg

Tags

jrBlog - desc
[]
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago

Today there were two loses to face in my family. My friend Sue, and my daughter's boyfriend's grandmother both passed away within hours of each other. 

A line from W.H. Auden comes to mind...

"Death is the sound of distant thunder at a picnic." How very true.  

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
1.1  JohnRussell  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago

I'm sorry to hear about your friend passing Perrie. I know she was very special to you. 

You paid her a fine tribute here. 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
1.1.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  JohnRussell @1.1    6 years ago

Thank you John. She was an amazing person. 

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
1.2  Skrekk  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago

Sorry to hear that, Perrie.   That's pretty rough.....the hardest part of being good friends.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
1.2.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Skrekk @1.2    6 years ago
the hardest part of being good friends.

Yes it is. Saying good bye. Thank you for kind words. 

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
1.3  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago

I'm really sorry to read about your losses. I kinda know how you feel, because I also lost a good friend earlier this month. My friend Bill Sherman, collapsed and died suddenly while at his brothers'house 2 weeks ago. We hung out, chatted, debated (he was more left than me) We often camped up in the high peaks. But he had a good ear, he would listen to me forever no matter how long I rattled on

Good friends like Sue and Bill are hard to find

My condolences to you and your daughters' boyfriend..

 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
1.3.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Jerry Verlinger @1.3    6 years ago

Thank you very much for your kind words, Jerry 

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, Bill. It's never easy to say good bye. 

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
1.3.2  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1.3.1    6 years ago

It's never easy to say good bye

No, last good-bys are hard.

Thanks Perrie.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago

When a person gets to be my age, we have outlived too many who were close to us - my parents are very long gone, but the losses start to happen more often - my best friends (not including my wife) are gone, one at the young age of 48 (more than 30 years ago) and another only a year or two ago, causing us to realize how mortal we ourselves are.

But consider what John Donne wrote centuries ago, in his Meditation XVII, that because of our closeness with and knowledge of each other we become in a small way a part of each other, and when someone "walks on", a little of them lives on in us, in our memories. The friend you have lost is still there, and you carry that with you, and will never lose it. I know you will cherish those memories.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
2  dave-2693993    6 years ago

Condolences to you, Sue's family and her other friends.

Same sentiment for your daughter's boyfriend's grandmothers.

R.I.P. Sue.

R.I.P. Grandmother.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
2.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  dave-2693993 @2    6 years ago

Thanks Dave. 

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
3  charger 383    6 years ago

Sorry for your losses.  It is good you know their strength

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
3.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  charger 383 @3    6 years ago

Thank you charger. Her son Matthew is amazing. I will share what he wrote at another time.. it's a necessary topic. 

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
4  TᵢG    6 years ago

Sorry to hear this Perrie.   Cancer affects us all deeply - it seems we all have lost someone to this cursed aspect of our genetic structure.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
4.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  TᵢG @4    6 years ago

Thanks Tig. Yes it's true that cancer seems to touch everyone's life. Maybe one day, we will be able to over come our genetics. 

 
 
 
Jerry Verlinger
Freshman Silent
4.2  Jerry Verlinger  replied to  TᵢG @4    6 years ago
Cancer affects us all deeply

Your're right. If it's not ourselves, it's a relative, a friend, or a friend of a friend. But there is no way for us to completely escape the clutches of cancer.

Someday we'll figure it out. (Soon I hope).

When I was a kid I went to bed every night wondering if I would wake up in the morning with polio. Then in 1955 (I was 15) along came Dr. Jonas Salk with a successful vaccine.

Dr. Salk is my hero.   

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
4.2.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Jerry Verlinger @4.2    6 years ago

For those of us who are older, who go back to the time before Dr. Salk came up with his vaccine (refusing to patent it so it would be affordable for all humanity) when we as children worried about the possibility of ending up in an iron lung, we realize that Dr. Salk was in fact a genuine humanitarian, and as you say, a true hero.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
4.2.2  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @4.2.1    6 years ago

I never knew that.. he was an amazing man and a true humanitarian. 

 
 
 
sixpick
Professor Quiet
4.2.3  sixpick  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @4.2.1    6 years ago

Jonas Salk

Sorry to hear about your loss Perrie.  Each day is a blessing for each of us. 

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
4.2.4  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  sixpick @4.2.3    6 years ago

So deserving to have been a Nobel laureate. If that particular Nobel award did not exist at the time, it should be awarded to Salk posthumously.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
5  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    6 years ago

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you and the loss of your dear friend.  She sounds like she was an amazing woman on many levels.  Just in case no one has mentioned it today, so are you.

❤ ❤ ❤

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
5.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @5    6 years ago

Well, now you've gone an done it, Good Sister. I'm all choked up. You're pretty special, too.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
6  Kavika     6 years ago

I'm so very sorry to hear of the loss of your friend, sister. 

A thought that has helped me in difficult times.

''There is no death, only a changing of worlds''

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
6.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Kavika @6    6 years ago
''There is no death, only a changing of worlds''

I hope so, Brother. It would give this world a little more meaning. 

Thanks for your wise words. 

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
7  Ender    6 years ago

We can be heroes, just for one day

May you have peace and loving remembrance always.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
7.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Ender @7    6 years ago

Thank you Ender. She was a one of a kind. 

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
8  Spikegary    6 years ago

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, I do believe we will see our loved ones again, someday, somewhere.  Please treasure the memories you have of her!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
8.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Spikegary @8    6 years ago

Thanks for your kind words Gary. I hope that there is something after this.. not sure.. but at least her suffering is over. 

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
9  GaJenn78    6 years ago

I'm so sorry Perrie! Cancer really sucks and takes people we love far too early. You and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
9.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  GaJenn78 @9    6 years ago

Hi Jenn,

This has been an awful year with cancer. First Jonathan, then Andy's Grand-ma, and now Sue. Even poor Aretha who died of pancreatic cancer last night, a disease that took my mother in law died last year. And while I know that more people die of heart disease and stroke than all cancers combined, it seems that what cancer does to you and is what lingers. 

Anyway, didn't mean to be so grim. Thanks for your kind words. 

 
 
 
PJ
Masters Quiet
10  PJ    6 years ago

I'm so glad you were able to see and spend time with Sue before she passed.  I will offer this quote that I found because it can say what I want far better than I can. 

It takes a minute to find a special person

an hour to appreciate them

and a day to love them

but it takes an entire lifetime to forget them

Anonymous

I also offer my condolences on the death of your daughter's boyfriend's grandmother.  

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
10.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  PJ @10    6 years ago

Hi PJ,

That is a beautiful poem and very true. Thank you for your kind words about my friend Sue and Andy's grandmother. 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
11  Trout Giggles    6 years ago

I'm so sorry, Perrie. It's hard to lose a really good friend. May she rest in peace and condolences to you and her family

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
11.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @11    6 years ago

Hi Trout,

It is very hard to lose someone you care about. Good byes are always hard. 

Thanks for your kind words. 

 
 
 
1stwarrior
Professor Participates
12  1stwarrior    6 years ago

Sweet Perrie - I offer all support that I am capable of giving to you.  

Believe it or not, you can rest easy - you gave her your all and she loved you for it.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
12.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  1stwarrior @12    6 years ago

Hi 1st, 

It was her family that was amazing. Her son's post on facebook was amazing and a tribute to her on so many levels. Her hubby was steadfast throughout her illness. She knew she was loved. I will miss her forever. 

Thanks for your kindness. 

 
 
 
Phoenyx13
Sophomore Silent
13  Phoenyx13    6 years ago

you have my condolences - your friend sounded nothing short of amazing. they say that people are judged by the company they keep - which tells me you are nothing short of amazing as well and honor her memory well everyday. may you always remember her fondly and keep her close to your heart.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
13.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Phoenyx13 @13    6 years ago

What a beautiful sentiment Phoeny. That was so kind of you. And yes I will remember her always. 

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Participates
14  pat wilson    6 years ago

Condolences, Perrie. There are few words one can say at times like this.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
14.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  pat wilson @14    6 years ago

Hi Pat,

You are right.. I have always found it hard to express something profound at times like this. But thanks for taking the time to acknowledge my loss. 

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
16  Split Personality    6 years ago

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your families.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
16.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Split Personality @16    6 years ago

Thank you so much SP. It's going to be a rough couple of days. 

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
18  sandy-2021492    6 years ago

I'm sorry for your loss, Perrie.  I'm glad you got to say the important things to each other.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
18.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  sandy-2021492 @18    6 years ago

Hi Sandy,

I am glad I had the chance to say goodbye and talk and share memories. I know some of our other friends were not as lucky. Thank you for coming by. 

 
 
 
Enoch
Masters Quiet
19  Enoch    6 years ago

Dear Friend Perrie: May the Source of all comfort, consolation, and inspiration bring you all these and more in yhour and those close to you time of mourning and healing.

May the good memories, values and acts of loving kindness of those lost bring solace, and motivation to keep going the good things they did and stood for, for the next generations.

The best way to honor the legacy of those transited from this life is to be int he lives of others as they were in yours.

You are encouraged to read past articles I composed and placed on this site for such help as they may bring. 

My private notes and personal email remain open to you and yours for such Pastoral Care as is needed and wanted.

Always in confidence, and on terms which respect what you live by.

Peace and Abundant Blessings Now and Forthcoming.

Enoch.      

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
19.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Enoch @19    6 years ago

Dear Enoch,

Thank you so much for your words of guidance. It's been a rough year both losing Jonathan and now Sue. And irony to this that both died from cancers from organs that give life. How odd that our bodies can do that to us. 

It's good to know that you are there, if I need it. 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Quiet
20  cobaltblue    6 years ago

Oh Perrie. My heart aches for you and Sue's family. You are all in my thoughts. Women in general form tight bonds with one another, and I know Sue held you in her heart. I have now clasped Sue tightly to my heart. And I hold you in sweetly, closely, lovingly in my heart as well. 

May the sun bring you new energy by day, 
may the moon softly restore you by night, 
may the rain wash away your worries, 
may the breeze blow new strength into your being, 
may you walk gently through the world and 
know it's beauty all the days of your life.
 - Apache Blessing

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
20.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  cobaltblue @20    6 years ago

Cobalt, 

What a beautiful comment. You said everything so well, that I couldn't even add a word to it. Thank you for those the poem. It's perfect. Thank you for sharing Sue with me. It is beyond touching. 

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Junior Quiet
20.1.1  cobaltblue  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @20.1    6 years ago

I love you, Perrie. So very much. Trust me when I say I truly believe Sue is right this second dancing to music only angels can hear.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
20.1.2  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  cobaltblue @20.1.1    6 years ago

Love you right back, CB. I hope you are right. She did love to dance. 

 
 
 
Colour Me Free
Senior Quiet
21  Colour Me Free    6 years ago
Sue will forever be my hero. She taught me how to face adversity with grace and bravery. 

Sue had to be an amazing woman to have been able to teach a kind and caring person such as yourself, grace and bravery.  The 2 of you together must have been a force of nature for all things good.

My heart breaks for your loss .. Sue's light on earth has faded, but now she lights up the heavens .. as well as your heart with joyful memories of times past that the darkness of cancer cannot shade.

Thanks you Perrie for sharing a lil piece of Sue …  Hugs to you..

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
22  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago

Hi CMF, 

We could be. We were a team when were the parent reps for the start time change at our high school. Both of us did our homework and worked together on our presentation on the benefits of having high school kids go in later, not earlier to school. The measure got passed in big part because we both worked so hard on providing the necessary studies and information. That year, the grades in the high school rose over 30%. Our superintendent said we were quite a force in making that change. I look back on that and smile. It is a small legacy.   

I am right now trying to deal with why it seems that more good people die than bad ones. Maybe it's not true. Maybe we just notice the loss more. I am not sure. I know a piece of my life is now gone. 

Thank you for your thoughtful message. It really means a lot. 

 
 
 
Colour Me Free
Senior Quiet
22.1  Colour Me Free  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @22    6 years ago

Alas, I have no answers on why .. yet I do believe that the loss is felt so very deeply, as it is hard to lose a part of oneself, someone that knows your deepest thoughts and flaws but continues to love you for who you are anyways .. someone that reaches out and lends a shoulder at the moment it is most needed because they just sensed something was wrong...

All one can do is cherish the moments shared, knowing that one is a blessed and better person for having had them in ones life..

Remember angels live forever without suffering … 

Peace...

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
23  Raven Wing    6 years ago

Dear Friend and Sister in Spirit Perrie,

I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your very dear Friend. It is always hard to lose someone who is so close to you, so much more than just a Friend.

As long as you remember all the times you shared together over the years, she will forever live on in your heart and the many memories of her. 

While she has now moved on to the next steps of her own eternal journey, she will always be a part of you.

nv-wa-do-hi-ya-dv (Peace)

 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
23.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Raven Wing @23    6 years ago

Sister from another mother,

Thank you so much for your very kind words Raven. I so dread tomorrow. I know she's gone, but the actual funeral is such a final good bye. 

I thought about the first time I met her. She cracked me up from our very first phone call and always was so optimistic. I look for fairness, in an unfair world and I am not sure why.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Guide
23.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @23.1    6 years ago
I look for fairness, in an unfair world and I am not sure why.

I, like you, try to look for the fairness in our world, yet, like guarantees, other than we will all one day leave this world behind and move on to our next eternal journey, there is really no such thing as fairness, no matter how much we want to believe in it. 

All we can do as human beings is live each day as it comes, try to appreciate and enjoy the good things that come our way, and do our best to deal with the lesser things that we often have no control over. 

I never had a Sister of my own, just the one Brother, and we were never close. But, I did have a few closer Friends who were like Sisters to me, and we stayed close as we grew older and took different paths in our lives. All but one has now walked on, and I still feel the emptiness in my life that they once filled. But, they live on in my heart and in the many memories we shared over the  years together. They left much too young, and lived decent and compassionate lives, so I wondered why they were taken so soon. It seemed so unfair.

But, it is not our call to make. All we can do is do their life here on earth justice, and their loving Friendship with us by keeping their memory alive, and keep smiling even when we want to cry, and holding on to the joy their being with us gave us in what time we had together. 

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
24  MrFrost    6 years ago

I am very sorry for your loss and may Sue RIP. 

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Expert
25  MrFrost    6 years ago

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.     

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
25.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  MrFrost @25    6 years ago

Thank you Mr. Frost. It is true that she touched me in ways that will never leave me. 

 
 
 
Uptownchick
Junior Silent
26  Uptownchick    6 years ago

Perrie I have no words that we haven't already shared. I'm so sorry to hear of all the losses you, your family and friends have had to endure. It's never, ever easy as we both know. You all are in my thoughts. I'm here if you need to talk...call anytime.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
26.1  author  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Uptownchick @26    6 years ago

Thank you so much Uppy for your kind words. Of course, you lost the love of your life, so I know you know what a hole it can leave. Thanks for your kind offer.. might take you up on it. 

 
 
 
bitemore Gfotwo
Professor Silent
27  bitemore Gfotwo    6 years ago

Oh, Lord, how sad! I'm truly sorry for your loss. It is so painful even to contemplate the loss of someone we care about; I cannot imagine the reality of it. She was lucky in one respect: she had you for a friend, Perrie. And I'm darned certain that she was as grateful to you for your caring as you were, to her, for being your friend. Big hugs