The younger generations are avoiding marriage
The younger generations are avoiding marriage
Here's just one video of many on this topic :
Six Reasons Why Men Are Avoiding Marriage, with Helen Smith, Ph.D
By contrast women are taking the lack of interest in marriage in a frivolous way :
Aubrey Plaza Is Ready For The Zombie Apocalypse
Wait till the end of this video to see what I mean by "frivolous" .
What do you think about this topic ?
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Here's some music to listen to while you ponder this topic :
Trini Lopez - Lemon Tree with lyrics
No more "love at first sight" ?
I LOVE Linda Ronstandt!!!
She was quite the talent until her illness brought an end to her singing career ...
Dear Friend Petey Coober: The Dr. Helen Smith clip is worth reviewing.
One of my long time friends and colleagues is an attorney.
He tells me that at a meeting of the local County Bar Association divorce lawyers put on a presentation.
They documented in our county why the rate of marriage has fallen off a cliff for single men who never married.
Dr. Smith as a point.
With the divorce rate around 50% for first time marriages, and men generally getting the short end of the stick in divorce proceedings many men do not see any attraction to marriage for them. For all the reasons Dr. Smith articulated, there is more disincentive than incentive to remain single.
Mrs. E. and I are from a different generation.
In our day, when you married, you did so for life.
We meet in 1971. Wed in 1972. This is 2017.
We are together all these years. Closer than ever with each passing day.
It is not that way for the current younger generations.
The inequalities in marriage, as in military service, education, employment etc. do need to be addressed.
People of both genders will act out of enlightened self interest.
We need more checks and balances.
Otherwise the institution of marriage, as we know it will be damaged.
It has stood us well for thousands of years.
For men, women, children and society.
Good article Petey.
Please keep them coming.
Peace and Abundant Blessings.
Enoch.
Thanks for your comment.
Aside from the obvious shrinkage in the US middle class there are other issues .
The way I see it there were definite reasons for the laws on marriage . BUT society has changed since then . Marriage is no longer about bringing up children . And women have overwhelmed higher education pushing out males as candidates . Wasn't it President Obama who criticized their choices of majoring in art history ? Women don't seem to be interested in the practical subjects . What do you think ?
Dear Friend Petey Coober: Each person, in education, life partnerships and other arrangements, and such need to find what works for them.
To me, as long as adults consent, no one gets hurt, and children are properly cared for I am open to a diversity of ways for traveling the path of life.
I also try to support institutions which proved themselves over time.
No easy task that.
Still worth the time and effort, for the great4er good.
The trick is to temper change with constants, and vice versa.
All the best Always,
E.
Enoch, I wish I was lucky enough to have found someone like your venerable Missus. I've taken the ride on the marriage train, but it doesn't hold any real interest for me these days. I salute the work you two have done to build and maintain your relationship.
Dear Friend Spikegary: You know Mrs. E. and I wish you only well, happiness, fulfillment, and meaning in your days.
Your friendship means very much to us.
Until Soon in Real Life.
E.
Dear Friend Spikegary: You know Mrs. E. and I wish you only well, happiness, fulfillment, and meaning in your days.
Your friendship means very much to us.
Until Soon in Real Life.
E.
"What do you think about this topic ?"
Nothing - since I can't open your YouTubes.
However, since there is at least a HINT of what the topic is about I can say this.
In Canada, it is possible for the rights of marriage to be legally deemed for long term spousal (but unmarried) relationships (i.e. living together as H and W).
That sounds like the community property laws some states have . Basically they cause the male to lose resources if there is a separation . California comes to mind ...
Sorry about the lack of non-media explanation . I find quite a lot of topical material on youtube . Perhaps I could find a text link to something else by Dr. Helen Smith . Would that interest you ?
Both sixpick and John Russell have been able to provide videos or sound tracks that I have had no trouble opening. Maybe if one of them reads this they might convert your YouTubes for me. I won't know if I'm going to be interested in what Helen Smith says unless I can see or read something she has written.
OK , here is one article I quickly located . It was an interview with Dr. Smith :
Let me know if you can't access it ...
No problem. I read it. I guess I'm just not interested in that particular aspect of psychology - never paid much attention to the issue she is describing because my interactions where that information may have been noticeable by or a concern to me is way behind me. Anyway, thanks for giving me the taste of her philosophy (and I meant that rather than psychology).
Oh, I was somewhat amused by the Ayn Rand references in the article.
Here is an important quote from Dr. Smith in the article . Doesn't this issue concern you ?
There are huge risks involved in divorce which is very unfriendly to men. When we look at the workplace, sexual harassment laws and the growth of HR bureaucracies – which are mostly made up of women – these are hostile environments to men. People don’t think about that. They think of hostile environments as only places where things happen to women.
No. I've already been through my divorce, and I don't expect another. As well, I practise my profession on my own so HR doesn't apply to me. As Rhett Butler said: "Frankly,.........."
OK , thanks for commenting here anyway . I'm sure you can understand why most of NT would have a different interest than yours ...
Petey, I bear no disrespect for your situation, and for others on NT, but I am 80 years old without expectation for being Methuselah, and living on the other side of the world where the culture is markedly different than that which surrounds you. Of course I'm not unfamiliar with western life - my first 69 years were spent in Canada, other than vacations and business trips through much of America and the Islands surrounding it, some of Europe, North Africa and the Middle East, but essentially my experiences were not so different from yours. Helen Smith's writings really have no effect on me but I'm happy to have learned something of her beliefs and profession.
Dr. Helen Smith is a card carrying conservative pushing her propaganda.
Helen Smith (psychologist)
I believe you'll find her more of an anti-feminist than a conservative . In either case the problems she discusses are legitimate ones . And the trend towards marriage avoidance is real .
Thanks for the link :
Here's more;
John Hawkins of Right Wing News interviews Dr. Helen Smith about Men On Strike
Thanks for the link . I had no idea about this :
if a married man goes to a doctor and wants a vasectomy, most doctors in this country will not perform a vasectomy unless that man gets his wife to sign off.
That's unjust. Why don't people at least try try to change that law and other "unjust" laws as opposed to just complaining about them?
As I understand it this is not a matter of law . It is more of a custom practiced by doctors ...
I think the video is accurate. There was a time when women pushed for marriage out of a need for security. Now women can provide for their own security so they don't push for marriage. Because extra-marital sex is now acceptable, men don't need to think about getting married in order to have a reliable sex partner. And many don't want the same sex partner forever anyway. Marriage used to offer at least the hope that the woman was untouched by other men. But the notion of a marital virgin is long gone. In fact, if you compared a woman to a car, there are no new cars on the lot and you'd be lucky to find a used one where the tires aren't bald.
Old sayings like "why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free" and "getting married is like taking sand to the beach" move to the forefront and turn the notion of lifetime relationships into hook-ups. People can cohabit (without marriage) and then de facto divorce without involving the courts.
Marriage used to be viewed as a sacred bond between a man and a woman. Now it's a pseudo religious mockery that can include two men skipping down the aisle.
Married men seldom seem happy and divorced men are outwardly miserable. Married men rarely recommend that other men look for a wife. Younger men often tell me that they would never want to be married. Sometimes they say there's no point to marriage because they usually end in divorce.
My younger riding buddy told me that, if he has to chose between a woman and his motorcycle, he'd pick the bike because a wife would be too much trouble. And he's not the only one. They generally don't want any additional responsibilities (like children) at all and definitely don't want additional hassles (like being chained to a pushy wife). I have another younger friend who is planning to get married in two months but is getting cold feet because he has a new girlfriend on the side that is prettier!
I don't see much hope for marriage.
Here's a view from 2013 as to why men are deserting Western women for Asian women
I think the video is true but the problem is much deeper than western women forgetting to be feminine. We are now descending into a societal gender identity disorder and it's like being in a mental institution. Looking outside the asylum for a partner is a sane alternative.
The problem occurs when you import a woman from another region . She will still be influenced by the nation's society of unbalanced women ...
True. But it might be better to get a foreign woman and hope that society can't mess her up rather than get an American that's already messed up and there's no hope that she will get better.
You have a point . OR you can find a woman who actually thinks like a man ... Jennifer Lawrence comes to mind :