TRUMP: "The CLINTONS DID IT!"
-
CAUTION: No Room in this INN for prudes! Only "free spirits, free thinkers, left-leaning liberals and problem solvers."
Right-Wing Nuts, should probably "buzz off". The truth is frightening for those with a closed mind, little or no education, and, boxed in by their backwoods religious beliefs.
* * * *
Howdy Folks, Fellow NewsTalkers.commies, and, you Left-Leaning Liberals, too lazy to get a job, because you are wasting your life away playing that damnable game CORNHOLE.
Might I ask, of you, my fine feathered friends; the "upright, uptight aficionadoes", here, on theNewsTalkers.com, addicted, as I am, to this format, a personal question?
"Is it appropriate for the Commander-In-Bold Face, Jive-Ass Lies, Donald J. Trump, "to boldly go where no one has gone before"?
The orange-faced MAROON, fake POTUS, real POS, in the Whitehouse, stated publicly, on a Nationally Televised News Nut-work Channel, Fox News, that "The Clintons Did It!"?
Is that OK with you?
The audacity of that ill-bred CAREER CRIMINAL, Trump, the "congenital, third-generation crook" to accuse a "lovely," wonderful, "perfect", pure as the driven snow, all-white, Lilly White - White-White, American Christian family, like the much loved "Clintons", of the heinous crime of "MURDER", without a shred of lettuce, er., evidence?
As of this date, investigators are still trying to sort out if Trump's "best friend and life-long partying buddy", Jeffrey Epstein, committed suicide while locked down in a maximum-security, correctional facility awaiting trial, or, was it just another Trump orchestrated "hit job"?
WE REPORT - YOU SNORT
Suspicion still hangs over the FAKE POTUS-Real POS in the Whitehouse, according to our "sauce", Steve Bunions, a defrocked Trump Advisor and self-proclaimed "Leninist".
Trump's inflated head, mammoth ego, and history as a "pathological liar" makes him, not the Clintons, the "PRIME SUSPECT". Trump is the one with the most to lose.
Trump's feeling of guilt, in my "humbled by the years' opinion", is due in part, to the highly publicized, still unsolved, "Khashoggi Murder-Torture-Butcher Scandal" that, to this day, lingers over the fat, orange head of the "wannabe Mafia King-Pin".
Many pundits, including this one, believe that crime "may have been" carried out by the Saudis, but, suggested to them by Trump, or, at least conducted with his knowledge and consent. I state this without a shred of lettuce, er., I mean, "evidence".
Trump is a sociopath, as many respected psychiatrists and mental health professionals have pointed out repeatedly in numerous publications.
Indeed, over 1000 highly acclaimed mental health professionals signed a published "Chain Letter", putting their reputation and professional certifications on the line.
Trump, of course, Horse, just retorted on "Twitter", like a junior-high snot nose, another bull chip line for his "suckers to suck on".
"I know more than any damn psychiatrist or mental health professional in the world! I can tell you, categorically that I am NOT NUTS! I don't even have any nuts", Trump proclaimed.
Whereupon, the brazen "Dumpster" dropped his trousers on the set of "The View", in full view for millions of Americans to view, to illustrate to the world that Trump, indeed, does not have any.
Everyone "that is anyone" knows that Trump is a "chicken-sh*t, Punk", who talks big, but, carries a little stick.
To refresh the minds of our "now, nearly-napping", NT members accustomed to very short, slanted articles published, here, by "deeply disturbed, under-educated, right-wing Trump Idolaters", I apologize for the length of this OPUS. But, truthfully, it is not for some of y'll.
Run along, those closed-minded, Red Necks from Red states. For serious intellectual FACT CHECKERS, now, maybe the best time to find the restroom, get a beer, a packaged snack, or, stretch. We are in for a "humdinger raucous ride"
Please, fellow Newsvine.com fiends, "No Smoking Allowed". It stinks up the place, makes me nauseous and is a juvenile, unhealthy habit. Chew tobacco, if you must, but, no spitting. Swallow, you brought it in!
Chapter One - Disclaimers, previews are over, so sit down and shut up!
"OK, are we back, front, too, I assume? Where was I? Oh, yes!"
"Khashoggi, as some of you may recall, the butchered journalist was an American resident, a well known, worldwide, highly respected journalist (not like one of us) working on an "explosive" article about Trump's financial ties to the Saudis, when he was conveniently "slaughtered" in the Saudi's Embassy in Turkey.
Needless to say, the story and its supporting documents, never made it to publication. They were used to wrap the body parts, and sent, Express Mail, to the Saudi Prince as souvenirs.
Our highly placed "sauce", a skinny guy, inside the Whitehouse (S. Miller) confirmed that Trump "has one body part on display in the Oval Office", which the "Don" points to when he needs to emphasize an order to a reluctant WH Staff member. It was a personal gift from the Crown Prince, Salim De Chopper, next in line to the Saudi King.
Trump, as he often does with his own crimes, projects them onto innocent people to throw the suspicion off of him, and on to another.
Our sauce, Trump's mother, said, from the other side, that "the dullard", as she called him, "Did not care about whom he FRAMED."
"He would blame me, his own Mother, projecting his misdeeds onto me", whaled his mother crying hysterically.
"It excited his father so much that in his rage, Frederick would beat me senseless, instead of that young punk, Donnie".
Clever, huh? Unless one uses this technique every damn day.
This time, however, Trump did not as much as offer a "shred" of evidence. The rambling "Donald" blurted out in an impromptu press conference, on his way out of town, that "The Clintons Did It".
He offered no proof. Not one shred.
At the "Don's" impromptu press conference, the New York, "Don Fugazy" (as he is known to the NYC mafia) held up, for the world to see, his proof:
A handful of "shredded lettuce" provided to him by Attorney-General William Barr, fresh from Barr's office salad bar.
Ninety-nine cable outlets worldwide, all respected media operations, with the exception of Fox TV Fake News, called his stunt "downright despicable".
And, let me tell you, Brothers & Sistas of the NewsTalkers.com, I know despicable?
"Shame, Shame on the Drumpfu*k", I say. "Shame on that White Honky, Pussy-Grabbing, Projecting Freak".
By contrast, this tome is a tediously crafted, "EXCLUSIVE, HANDWRITTEN REPORT" (in large block letters) for Trump's "Deplorables" to have it read to them by their Mother, instead of that tired old bedtime tale, the "The Three Blind Mice".
The heavily redacted, "PIGEON REPORT", so named because of it infamous author, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, was produced, researched, edited, and used for toilet tissue by the "not so nice, not so bright arse wipes" at EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT LET YOUR CAT USE IT AS A LITTER BOX to test its strength, scratchiness, durability, and whether or not ,it would stand up to rigorous scrutiny in the Court of Public Opinion, the only court that matters.
Like many of you, sad sacks, Left-Leaning Liberals know, we, here, at "Eat It", are the ORIGINAL "FAKE NEWS"! Not the Real News that our FAKE POTUS, Real POS, calls "Fake News".
We are so fake, we just make SH*T UP.
It is quicker, cheaper and more fun than the Main Street Media's tired and boring method of "vetting the news".
Who gives a damn if it is "true".
"Does it sell?", that is what is important.
Therefore, we can assure readers that our stories are "never vetted". We don't even know what that means.
Most of our "hard-driving, fact-adverse interviews, that we rush to print, like this 'Block Buster Expose' , are the product of regurgitation of the infamous, "Doctored", Jonathan Livingston-Pigeon-Poo's and his unique ability to "divine the truth" via seance.
"The whole tooth, nothing, but the tooth, so, help me, Garf". That is his motto, and, I am sticking to it.
Pigeon-Poo has been involved with every high-profile case in modern times at various level, either as a "suspect", "analyst", or, "professional nuisance".
"Doctored", Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, his formal name, likes to enmesh himself in the HOT, popular headlines about Sex and Scandals and Things that Dangle , whether he is asked to do so, or not.
His technique is one that he learned from the noted "Sleeping Prophet" - Edgar Cayce.
Like his mentor, Cayce, "Jonathan", as his mother called him, is able to enter the minds of his sleeping subject while they sleep.
Once inside the subject's head, or, as in "the Donald's" case, "the suspect", Jonathan Pigeon is able to bypass that part of the brain that deals with lying. In Trump's case, it is practically his entire brain.
"Doctored" Livingston, in his own mind, is a "Certified Psychic", Semi-Registered Orthodox Charlatan, President, and CEO, of "Misfits Are People, Too!", an organization handed down from generation to generation, going all the way back to Adam and his first wife, Lillith, aka, the "First Tramp".
In his own, limited normal Jonathan's straight mind, and, on his own "normal" timeline, Jonathan is a lowly shoe salesman working in a woman's shoe store going by the name of "Bundy".
Don't get him started talking about High School football. You will never get away from his endless tale about how he scored five touchdowns in one game.
Just say, "Big 'Ems Alert, Jerk!", point, then, bolt out the store's door into the mall and run like HELL.
Well, NewsTalker fiends , please, I beg of you, to allow me to ask a "FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION" of you, Right Awful, Rightwing, Evangelical, Born Up-Side Down & Backwards, Fundamentalist Christians with a chip on your shoulder:
"Does the United States Constitution allow Congress to CENSURE a FAKE POTUS, Real POS, illegally installed in the White House?
Or, may they just march over there and kick his fat ass? Asking for a friend (CB).
Must we, America's weary, wet victims, forever be condemned to endure Trump's "daily, made-up, bull-crap spewing rants", because Trump is Putin's Bitch?
WARNING :
If you are offended by WORDS, but, not deeds, then, perhaps, you might be better served "to carry your sorry, uptight, White ARSE (as the British say) to another site.
Let it be known, near and far, that NO one is holding a freakin' gun to your forehead, or, forcing you to read this disjointed, chopped full of "factual nuts and highly questionable Mystery MASTERPIECES"!
We are not "Journalists", here, at "Eat It, Michael, Don't Beat It" , that is so passe.
We are "Urinalists", we piss on the news. That is why Trump reads us. He likes it like that!
Don't like it - Don't Read It!
There are plenty of Right-Wing Tomes filled with "fantasy conspiracy theories" that would make Linda Blair's head turn only to the RIGHT!
Now, for those very "special people" with the proper "Deep State Security Clearance", and, the "guts" to hear the truth, even if it is a "little twisted" (oh, alright, a lot "twisted"). Then, this article is for you to read at your own risk.
Be advised, Fellow NewsTalkers, this article has not been rated, contains American workingman's profanity, some nudity, sexual situations, and numerous grammatical mistakes, at NO ADDITIONAL cost.
Enjoy!
Please, leave your pithy, concise, or, verbose comments, so, we might correctly report you to the necessary authority.
As always, we remain the ONLY "REAL TRUE PATRIOTS IN AMERICA", all else are frauds.
Friends, Fiends, and Fellow Malcontents, we, hereby, affirm and attest, that this is as close to the "truth", as we are allowed to get without going to prison. Please, take notes. Tell us how this article changed your life.
And, now, here is the "Rest of the Story", as Walter Concrete used to say. Walter is our Chief Political Correspondent and Proud Eater of Horse Meat!
"Take it away, Walter":
(Now is as good of a time as any to put down the gun and run). You were warned!
"In an exclusive interview, conducted by the Sleeping Psychic , 'Doctored' Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, (Moi) CEO & Flounder of the Bird Droppings Institute, A Think Tank For Morons - No Idiots, Please, held a successful seance this morning, 8/14/19 at 5:00 A.M.
It was witnessed by more Trump morons than can squeeze into an ass-kissing Trump marathon Cabinet meeting.
"The incident (seance) was, and, I stake my professional reputation on it, witnessed by a number of top-level, unnamed Whitehouse 'snitches', for verification purposes".
Additionally, it was recorded for posterity. And, as a backup blackmail tool, according to our bought "sauce", S. Miller, who explained, "if things go sour for those of us working in the WH, we will have choices"!
S. Miller, the right-hand puppet master to our FAKE POTUS is a man of highly questionable authority, and, a screaming "girlie man".
(Please, keep that a secret, folks. )
Steve M. (for Miller) does not want Trump to fire him because it is common knowledge that no one in America wants to hire "a gay Jewish, Neo-Nazi Advocate, with balding hair".
The WH's internal staff is plagued with paranoia. They never know when they may be "fired" by their "crazy-ass, Fake POTUS - Real POS, Trump".
This INTEL was, also, collaborated by a high-level, Trump presidential advisor, known as, KCJ.
We shall refer to her, only as, "Kelly Ann Con-Job", the alias that we created to disguise her real name, Kelly Ann Conway!
(Damnit! I can't keep a secret for the life of me)!
She spoke of many things, including some juicy sexual situations, that we cannot divulge due to our strict adherence to our Urinalist Code , as set forth below:
"The public's right to know every damn thing about everyone, right this damn minute supersedes our right, to tell the truth, so we don't"!
We, here, at, the less than prestigious, EAT THE PRESS - Don't Wipe Your Bun With It, are steadfast in our assurances to our "sauces", that we will protect their IDENTITY at all times, unless, of course, the bribe is large enough, and, it would make sense not to pass it up.
As "Urinalists", not "Journalists", we WILL NEVER give up our sources for under ten grand!
Furthermore, as Certified "URINALISTS", we urinate on the news, not other people, like some bullies in the White House are known to do on a daily basis. We have standards, the WH staff does not, otherwise, they would not be working for a Nut.
Necessary background checks and history are required to proceed, henceforth!
Chapter Two: TALE OF TWO SEERS!
"Doctored" Livington, a proud member of the Whitehouse Oppressed Corp, is, as many of you know, a disreputable, renowned, natural-born psychic.
It is a gift he purchased from a roadside stand, managed by a young Edgar Cayce, for $1.00, cold cash, back in the day. When "Blacks were Whites and Whites were Negroes".
The "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo's extraordinary talent, gift, whatever, has enabled the sometimes bad, "Doctored" to instantly tap into the unconscious of anyone while they are sleeping, and, the "Good Doctor" is fiddling, even if they are thousands of miles apart.
When the young lad, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, then, a nine-year-old run-away from 'the Funny Farm" met the later, world-famous, Edgar Cayce, it changed his life forever!
Cayce readily revealed for an additional $1.25, that when "a subject is sleeping, or, drunk, the 'Truth"' is ripe for the pickin'", Edgar said, betraying his KY background, and backward, rural Evangelical upbringing.
"While we, you and I," explained Edgar, "probe unconscious minds for the TRUTH, the subject's conscious mind is busy looking at reruns of pornographic incidents from their life. Therefore, they are too busy to interrupt with jive-ass alternative bull-chips" the legendary "Seer", instructed.
"Can it be used on anyone", asked the young boy?
"Yes, on everyone! The only one that it would not work on was 'W', that boy, is too damn stupid! Alcohol, you know"!
Jonathan explained to the much older Edgar Cayce that he was "hitchhiking to Hollywood, California" because he had overheard two bums talking about all the "Charlatans, Psychics, Gypsys, Gay Folks, Sickos and Seers" attracted to Hollywood, like Koch Brother Roaches to the Trump Whitehouse.
"I know that", said, Cayce. "I am a Seer".
To prove his point Cayce blurted out:
"So, you overheard a man named, Mc Connell, a thin, turtle-faced, white hick from the sticks (my home state of KY) explain to his partner in crime, a fellow by the name of ' UnIndicted Co-Conspirator Number One', that "even a bad, stupid, Con-Man might make a good wage in that Shithole Town, Hollywood! Right?"
"Wow, that is amazing", Jonathan eagerly fell for it, hook, line, but no fish.
"How did you do it. Do you read minds?", asked the young lad.
"I can teach you for another $1.25 if you would like", Cayce offered.
"Shoot, fire, damn Hell! Yes, I would, indeed. You are making me pee", replied the young Jonathan with glee.
"Please, do not use profanity. I am an Evangelical Christian, and we do not cotton to that kind of language. In the South that could get you killed if you ARE NOT CAREFUL. If you slip, again, I will be forced to shoot you. It the only Christian thing to do", admonished Edgar.
"Sorry", said, Jonathan. "I could use that parlor trick to make a living in the 'Shit Hole, called Hollywood", offered the young lad.
"So, indeed you could", injected Cayce.
Cayce continued to engage the boy in conversation as an opportunity to demonstrate his AMAZING POWERS, as a "reader".
Cayce continued his monologue: "Mitch 'The Bitch' McConnell, a notorious Con-Man in KY was rushed out of that state and decided to go West, Young Man because he was wanted in the East."
True?", Cayce inquired of the still pissing himself young charge.
"That is absolutely correct," clapped the young Jonathan, dancing around his new mentor, as if he were a new convert to Scientology.
"Mc Connell", continued the eager, Edgar, to tutor the young lad. Cayce was going in for the kill desperate to prove the "validity of his psychic ability" by frequently interrupting Jonathan Livingston Pigeon with facts that ONLY Jonathan knew.
Cayce drove it home like an ace pitcher, "Mc Connel conned his suckered, easily led friend" by painting a glorious picture of how easily they could set up their panhandling, pick-pocketing business on a street corner to take advantage of the naive rubes".
"Yep, that's right, laughed Jonathan who was now deeply into the "Hard Cider" en route to becoming "doctored", very, very doctored. And, has remained to this day.
Mc Connell exclaimed, to his low-functioning, side-kick, that he occasionally kicked in the side for fun, more so, than his sadomasochistic tendencies demanded.
"They are three hours behind our time. So we could get a head start on the coppers", they said. Which made Jonathan and Cayce laugh out loud, as they both collapsed to the ground, hooting and hollering like school girls.
They crawled under the roadside stand to get out of the hot, mid-day sun, sip on the cold hard cider, chilling in a wooden tub of ice, fell fast to sleep in each others bosom, or, so the legend goes.
That evening they cooked their dinner on a warm BLAZE. They torched the roadside stand. The duo, "MindMelded", had no more use of it, since, they had found each other, and sealed their fates with a kiss, as was the custom, back in the day.
Satiated from their supper of roasted horse meat donated to them from a Good Samaritan, called Buzz of the Orient , as he "buzzed" by them on his journey to Indonesia, looking for the Orient. They melded their minds into one Man-Boy mind, then, celebrated by roasting each other's nuts over the roaring fire.
"What the Hell does this have to do with the title", interrupted the Moderator? "You are off-topic trying to please one member while sucking up to another. What is the point of this narrative?"
"That is just it", added the author, "there is none".
"I am calling PH and reporting you. You will never be able to write again, here, or, anywhere I rule", shouted the Moderator as It/He/She exited the stage, screeching like a Harpy from Hades.
"Calm down", commanded Cayce, "everyone from the future. You will get your chance to screw things up. Be patient. Chill out. Time for a refreshment break. Peanuts anyone, only a $1.25."
CHAPTER THREE: "Mitch The Bitch"
"Okey-Dokey," Cayce said, snapping everyone back in time.
"My reading of 'Mitch The Bitch' will now commence."
"When I first met my charge, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, he tasked me 'to prove' my psychic gift, so I did".
I explained to the young, impressionable Jonathan Livingston Pigeon that my "impression" of the bum, he called Mitch McConnell, was that a boat-load of weirdos, suckers, wannabe actors, and, nutjobs are drawn to Hollywood every year seeking 'fame and fortune'. Which translate to hucksters to mean, they rubes may have a little cash money. Ripe for a pickpocketer to relieve them of its burden".
In a final test of Cayce's credibility Jonathan, now, "christened" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, "Doctored" thew out another riddle for Edgar to unravel.
Jonathan look at his father figured idol with squinting eyes and said, "Mitch, also added a strange pronouncement - but, was silenced by Cayce's remarks.
Without a loss of a drop of the Hard Cider between them, both Seers, were "pretty cocked-eyed", when Cayce repeated word for word the exact conversation that Jonathan Livingston Pigeon had overheard.
Edgar, speaking now in a far-off sounding, weird, spooky voice shocked the lad: "Yes, I know", nodded the Master.
"The Turtled Faced one licked his thin lips succulently, didn't he?"
The nearly mesmerized boy nodded his head in the affirmative.
"The effeminate one called "Mitch The Bitch" made a revealing slip of the tongue, when he said, "There will be plenty of closeted queens for me to prey upon, er, I mean, play with, that is to say, pray with, too!"
Cayce sat down, like the wise man from Heaven, as Jonathan commenced to lick his boots sealing their friendship for a "thousand years", or, until some "dumbf*ck" like Trump shows up and screws everything up.
The silver-haired, silver-tongued Cayce, continued to use 'Mind Control" on the young, impressionable Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, "Doctored", encouraging him to "follow your dreams, not your screams."
"I see in the future", Edgar proclaimed, "you will be doing readings for a FAKE POTUS, real POS, residing in the WHITEHOUSE!"
"Your Mission Should You Accept It Is to get that POS out of the Whitehouse. The nation is depending on you!"
Cayce shouted his age-old, tarnished, overused wisdom at the tyke, who, at that precise moment was trying desperately to flag down his next ride with an "old reprobate", that the lad might induce him to give him a ride to California, as long as, the "gay blade" only looked at his crotch, but, did not touch it.
Just then, a bright, garish purple and pink Cadillac stopped abruptly. The driver opened the passenger's door, waved towards the young lad seductively. Smiling like Liberace cruising Hollywood Boulevard, the boa wrapped driver waved toward the of the boy with bejeweled hands and said with a pronounced lisp, "need a lift, Honey", as they say in the U.K., "yo Hollywood".
Over the decades, Jonathan reminisced about these events, never forgetting the predictions from the "Roadside Prophet".
Wherever his journey carried him, the lad "always, always" remembered what the Seer said, keeping them tucked away in an unwashed sock under his hat, as food for his ever-expanding mind.
The newly "Doctored", Jonathan Living Pigeon, remembered, too, that the Seer, said: "The piano playing freak is a pedophile, don't ride with him! He will want to pet you all the way to Hollywood. Just Say, 'No, Homo', er, and thank you, anyway.
To scare the weirdo driver off, Cayce, asked, "'Is that George in the backseat holding your lighted candelabra, Lee?"
The Seer turned to his young student, "After Liberace's gaudy, bejeweled Cadillac accelerates out of, here, there will arrive a fat, jolly man, that looks 'gay', but isn't".
"He calls himself Jonathan Winters, but, his real name is Aunt Maude.
"Jonathan, this Jonathan, will have a profound effect on your life, as I have".
"Do not fear him, he is not John Cayce, he is a 'hayseed' from Dayton, Ohio. Look for his Beverly Hills rusted out, Clampet-like, pick-up truck, with vanity plates that read, 'CERTIFIED NUT'.
"That is your ticket outta here, young man, and, into the future."
Jonathan, the boy, glanced back at the, now, fading image of Edgar Cayce picking his nose and wiping it on his clothes. His image fluttered, flickered, as the Seer, an optical illusion, slowly began to fade away on that isolated, lonely, seldom traveled, "Highway 66".
In a far off, distant voice the lad heard his mentor say, "Jonathan, this Jonathan, will take you SAFELY all the way to your destination, where you will meet 'destiny'. Wash your hands before you mess with her!"
"All that your guide/ride will ask of you, is, in exchange for the ride, the back rubs and washing his feet, that you listen to his non-stop comedy routines and laugh, when appropriate.
"Comedians are all so needy. They crave instant feedback. Give it to him, and, nothing else. Some of his comedy bits are so amusing you may have to stop the car and get out, or, you will PISS YOUR PANTS."
"Go with him - no other, Luke Sky Walker! And, may the Force Be With You!" Edgar saluted, evaporated into the ether, or, maybe, he was hit by a speeding semi-truck doing 110 m.p.h.
That my esteemed friends, who stayed with me, this far, is precisely what the young Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, "Doctored", did - and, as in all myths, that is "what made all the difference in the world" for him, but, none for anyone else.
CHAPTER FOUR: Epilogue - Hee - Hog!
Later, much later, while performing in every dirty, crack addict filled dive in Hollywood, "Doctored" Jonathan, (seen above), old, fat and disgusting picked up the nickname, "Poo" from his audiences.
It was unceremoniously added to his formal name, "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, due, in large part, from the non-stop, nightly barrages of suggestions hurled at him like grenades from his drunk, red neck audiences, amid boos and hisses", and flung missiles of "warmed poo".
The now aged, "UnEmployed Philosopher", and his agent, the People Fish Man, were covered in it from his ravenous fans.
FLASH FORWARD TO:
August 10, 2019 (the subject of this dissertation).
"Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo appeared to the sleeping Trump in a "seance", though he was hundreds of miles away, inside a Locked Down Maximum Security facility in New York, helping Jeffrey Epstein, Trump's "best friend", hang himself with prison bedsheets.
Because the "Good", sometimes, "Bad" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo is a multi-tasker, he is capable of doing multiple things simultaneously, and in different parts of the country.
Jonathan spoked to the sleeping FAKE POTUS, and, to the onlookers, explaining to them what they were experiencing.
"Psychic Readings are conducted when both parties, the 'Receiver', and the 'Tattler' are in a deep REM state", intoned Jonathan, in his best Edgar Cayce voice that he utilized for these occasions.
"When one is in a state of sleep, that may be artificially induced by ingesting certain drugs, combined with lots of alcohol. We open our closed MINDS to be read by SEERS!"
The "good" Jonathan Pigeon-Poo, then, cautioned, the ever-increasing group of onlookers, hanger-on-ers, and, regular run-of-the-mill staff, unable to get a job anywhere else in America of the proceeding.
Edgar, again, cautioned the growing crowd, "Do Not Try This At Home or When Driving a Tractor!"
"I am sensing a breakthrough in the Epstein Murder/Suicide Case", mumbled the Good, "Doctored", Johnathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo to no one in particular.
And, No One In Particular, mumbled back, "Shut the Fu*k Up, you Quack"!
CLIFF NOTES: For "our" people, not "those people!"
Only readers of this "less than prestigious" blog, EAT THE PRESS - DO NOT WIPE YOUR BUT WITH IT, are "cleared/queered" to read this classified, TRASH BLOCKBUSTER"!
Violaters will have their private parts removed and "fed to the fishes."
So, others, the timid, should "f*ck off"!
"Please, above all else, remember to scrub with a strong, aromantic, antibacterial soap every time you read, or, touch this TOME.
"It is, also, advised that one say three Hail Marys, and, promise to "never abuse oneself again in public. That is a no-no!"
Now, my weary Fellow Travelers, here, on this esteemed site, where we are gathered together, because we have nothing better to do, let us tarry no more.
Back to the present, and the real purpose of this rambling, asinine post: Cayce, or, someone that looks likes him, said:
"This morning I conducted a seance with our FAKE POTUS, REAL POS in the WHITEHOUSE's Lincoln Room with an unconscious Donald J. Trump, and recorded it, as I do all of my 'Super Secret Psychic Readings'
on Nixon's old audio recorder, which I purchased at a yard sale years ago.
"For safety reasons, I have instructed that these readings be stored, securely, locked away, in the safest place in 'Merica; the private safe of the owner of the National Enquirer, Mister David Pecker's wall safe .
The safe is cleverly hidden behind a life-size portrait of Donald J.Trump, donated to him from the Trump Foundation, as a token of their crimes together.
Clever, huh?
Kelly Ann, always the "showboat", asked the Fake Prez: "Who killed Epstein?"
"Who?", asked the Faked POTUS, Real POS in the Whitehouse, still a bit foggy?
"Epstein, your lifetime, best friend and, fellow Child Sexual Predator, Jeffrey Epstein", reiterated Con-Job, fiddling with the Fake POTUS's pajama bottoms.
Without hesitation, or, requiring any more prodding with the cattle prod, the loudly farting, Fake POTUS, Real POS in the WH, shot up in his bed and shouted:
"The CLINTON'S DID IT!"
"Hillary and Bill had him killed because they didn't want him talking to the public, or going to trial. They had a lot to lose.
"I don't. I lost it all when I cozied up to Putin", Trump confessed. Then collapsed back to sleep.
Trump roared like a satiated, King Henry, the VIII, slapping his enormous buttock with Kelly Ann's hand, then, running his hand up her skirt, which is Trump's new way of greeting women, and, some men, even while he sleeps.
Trump, in his mind, believes that he is King, and, no longer President.
The commotion erupting from Trump's loud mouth reverberated throughout the WH, but, but, it never penetrated the highly trained, sleeping secret service agents ears. They had been assigned by Obama to guard Trump's room as leftover security, so, they continued to dream of naked women they had bedded in Mexico and never paid.
Kelly Ann Con-Job, Trump's top Advisor (forever at his side) burst thru the Lincoln Bedroom doors with such a clamor that both of the sleeping guards were aroused from their drug and alcohol-fueled state of past euphoria!
Trump noticed the sleeping guards, shouting, "Obama should have fired them on his watched"!
Con-Job ignored the Commander-in-Cheetos protestation and calmly asked: "What did the Clintons do, Donnie, Honey-Poo-Poo?"
The nearly-naked, Trump T-Shirt clad, skinny Con-Job, tantalized the still sleepy FAKE POTUS.
Trump stared at her with lust, for an awkward moment. Con-Job always reminded him of an aged Ivanka, his favorite sibling, and, he immediately wanted to "bed her".
Con-Job, as one onlooker commented, "is masterful with calming the dazed Donald"!
She was very familiar with the Fake POTUS - REAL POS's Night Terrors, Bed "Shatting", Serial Affairs, and Relentless Blame Naming.
" Silly Ann ", as the FAKE POTUS, liked to call her, had been highly trained in preparation for this day, by the WH witch doctor, and, supervised by Nurse Ratchet, a White, Live-In "Dike", reporting only to Trump and, of course, Kellly Ann Cunt-Job, her lover.
Con-Job had been previously been put through rigorous training by a cadre of the nation's finest psychiatrists, quacks, charlatans and psychics.
Silly Kelly Ann groped Trump's groin while spoon-feeding the 'baby-tyke', Trump "soothing, simple words", when trying to stop his non-stop crying, whining, whimpering, child-like, frightening outbursts. FU, too!
CHAPTER V : The Advertisement, For readers ONLY:
The entire collection of "NIGHTMARES ON PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE" , will soon be released, as a Mini-Series, exclusively, on Fox TV Network cable TV, aired 24/7/365, on all programs until they have so much money, everyone can quit the network and open up their own "Little Shop of Horrors".
And, now back to our feature, "The CLINTONS DID IT"!
"THE CLINTONS DID IT!", shouted the deranged, demented Trump, again and again, until, Con -Job, had no other choice, but, to slap his fat, ugly, ORANGE FACE.
Trump whimpered, "Please, believe me. I did not have anything to do with Epstein's Murder/Suicide.
"I did not order the Saudis to do it!", the groggy, more subdued Commander-In-Lies slurred from the Lincoln Bed, littered with thousands of porno photos of "Stormy Daniels".
"Stormy Daniels is the real love of our FAKE POTUS-REAL POS's life", Con-Job addressed the gathering crowd. "She is the 'porn star' that got away. The one that hurts Donnie, the most."
As many Whitehouse "In-siders-Outsiders" know, the only way "The Dumpster" can fall to sleep at night is by listening to the mournful yearning of his favorite Wagnerian Opera, "Spring Time For Hitler", sung by that gravelly, velvet voice, Mel Brooks.
It is only after it is played seven times backward, straight in a row, without interruption that the "Orange Buffoon" might drop off to "Neverland", and, dream the dream of romping through Paradise eating bits of Ronald McDonald, while holding hands with Michael Jackson, that "the Baby Donald" is able to find solace in his sordid life of constant lies. Of course, Horse, there is always that other way.
"Who's up for the OTHER WAY. Let's have a show of hands."
To Be Continued.
Maybe, or, maybe not. Depending on how much money I am paid by theNewsTalkers.com posters to "NOT WRITE ANY MORE BULL SH*T".
Tags
Who is online
150 visitors
Epstein's death has nothing do with the Clintons. It would seem that his guards fell asleep so they didn't perform regular checks.
If he was murdered, I would look at who has the most to gain from his death. That's not Clinton, that's trump.
Seems the perfect storm came along for his demise.
Thank God for Storms. "Stormy Daniels" nearly took him down. She got Trump good. The other stormy's are coming out of the adult store, porn studios and from inside the WH.
Our "sauces", S. Miller, says that the First Porn Lady is about ready to turn on the FAKE POTUS, real POS.
If she "dallies in the Valley" too long, she may lose everything when The Commander-In-Crimes, Trump, gets indicted on multiple crimes!
All of "the Ding Don's" assets will be exhausted on lawyers, payoffs, assassinations, and, "witness tampering" to keep "the Donald" out of the Jail House.
Even the children's assets will be seized, and tied up for a decade.
Melanoma and her battery of high-priced, cutthroat attorneys are developing their strategy now.
The sound of Cash Register's ringing is drowning out the sounds of the traffic in NYC, where everyone wants in on the action, Jackson.
Please make comments that have some reality
What happened to the video tapes that were supposed to cover the inmate 24/7/365.
What do they reveal. Or, was the Video Player asleep as well.
Trump whould be CENSURED BY CONGRESS for using his office as a platform to accuse someone of a crime of murder on national TV without a shred of evidence, and to lie about his so called report.
Congress has the power to CENSURE this psychotic POS in the WH. They should immediately move forward with it.
You mean like half of the democratic congress (using their office) and pretty much all of the democrats running for President stating on TV that Trump is responsible for the murders of El Paso and Dayton? Of course, they won't censure themselves. That is our job as voters.
Well, Bugsy, I amend my theory.
Are you related, by change, to "Bugsy Siegel", the infamous Mob Boss that took a walk in the Nevada Desert and never was heard from again?
Actually Siegel died by gun shot in Beverly Hills in 1947.
Now you're making it up, no one is claiming Trump is responsible for the murders. People are stating that Trump's rhetoric is encouraging white supremacist extremism, and that many of the right extremists that are committing these crimes are repeating Trump's rhetoric.
Nobody is accusing Trump of personally being responsible.
What's that again???
You should actually try reading the articles before you post them...
I never do that. What a waste of time. I read the headlines, make up my mind, then, scan to the next one.
Facts are for "sissies", we always say, here, at Eat It! Like Fox TV NetWork Noise, we make up our own facts.
I did...Did you???
From the first link...
"Following two mass shootings in Ohio and Texas this weekend that left 29 dead, several 2020 Democratic candidates on Sunday said President Trump's rhetoric towards minorities and immigrants is at least partly to blame for inciting such violence"
From the second...
"JOE BIDEN: We have a problem with this rising tide of supremacy, white supremacy in America, and we have a president who encourages and emboldens it."
The third link does really nothing more than quote the candidates as they are stating that the "rhetoric" the President is using is causing the violence.
I guess with that liberal logic, Pocahantas is responsible for the Dayton shooting. Why does the media not report that?
Oh, wait....because....Trump...
Trump is a provocateur, not a leader.
His rallies are incendiary "name and blame calls" to the rumble, rousing roaring mob of "HATERS".
Trump, the Reality TV CON-MAN, is not a politician, has no plans, or, policies other than dismantling, tearing everything down that other built.
Like Hitler, Trump is all show, all theatrics, all talk. His entire life has been spent cheating, conning, stealing and exploiting others for his own benefit.
Trump is not, or, what people believe him to be, he is a charlatan in the style of this new breed of users: EVANGELICAL TELEVANGELISTS who prey upon the poor, the hurting, the ignorant, the fearful.
Violence, even violent rhetoric, leads to more violence. Trump is the criminal hiding from multiple indictments in the WH, protected only by a flimsy "policy" of the Attorney General's Office, not laws, an office policy that a "sitting president" cannot be indicted.
Will you look back on these dark times and tell your children and their children that you sent your time demanding a MONSTER because you were deceived.
We all know liberals think it is perfectly OK to use Hitler in any argument, no matter what it is, but the truth is, anytime you invoke the name, you have lost the debate.
This is no different. The rest of your rant was incohesive.
Penetrating the minds of "losers" who are filled with a lifetime of "bitterness" is a difficult task because the pathways to thinking are blocked with cultural hate of others.
We are all born ignorant, but, some choose to remain in that state because knowledge is frightening and rituals are not.
Scientists are not bias they are trained to see seek the truth where the data leads them.
Prejudice, angry, revengeful folks seek out only data that supports their preconceived notions, which explains why they are always wrong.
Why don't they censure, impeach, or whatever? What are they waiting for? Real evidence of wrong doing?
What are they afraid of. How are they going to handle his second term if they are so agitated and disturbed now??
Greg: As you may recall, Nixon won a SECOND TERM, even as he was under investigations for the crimes he helped to orchestrate during the Watergate Scandal.
The tapes cooked his goose.
Trump is in hot water up to his turkey neck, and, there are tapes, documents, etc, that will bring him to justice if he doesn't die in the office first.
The Clintons are not in the office, never been convicted or indicted after 26 years of Right-Wing Republicans with an agenda trying to do so.
Trump is and he is the PROBLEM. Putin may have him whacked when he no longer has a use for him.
For what, exactly...and if you have those tapes, documents, etc...that will bring him down, then the DOJ needs to charge you with obstruction because you never turned those things over to Mueller. Mueller had no choice but to say no collusion and no obstruction to charge all because you did not give up your hidden stash.
Now the entire loon left can blame you for not taking down Trump. You will be called a racist, a misogynist, a homophobe, a rapist, etc....all because you failed to act.
The evidence is laid out in the Mueller Report, but, of course, it requires the ability of folks to be able to read, comprehend, and decipher legal arguments.
The spooned fed, under-educated "Trump Supporters" glued to FOX FAKE NEWS have apparently lost the ability to read, understand, or process. They are totally dependent on verbal "Talking Points", spewed by Right Wing Nuts, like Hannity, Rush, or, the College dropout Glenn Beck.
These bitter sad-sacks have regressed to tribalism and reverted to their roots, rooting in the dirt for Conspiracy Theories.
Hate eats at the mind until it consumes it.
Epstein's just another ....." Associate " …. to add to ……. "THE LIST" !
That sounds like a comment from an "insider". Are you being subpoenaed to the Grand Jury?
My attorney says not to worry.
NEWSFLASH - The Clintons have been out of office for nearly twenty years...
They went "dormant" ?
Yea, the cons wanted her gone and to never be heard from again, now they bring her up almost daily then cry that she is always in the news. Pretty simple really, don't want to hear about her or read about her? Stop fucking bringing her up. But then some people simply cannot stop bringing her up. We have a person here on NT that has had CDS for the last 25 years.
Hillary has been the "Boogeyman" for the Republican Party for 4 presidents.
The GOP, Government of Putin, like to beat a dead dog and are animal haters, or, they are not very creative.
Perhaps, both!
So they're not Dormant ?
Wrong again...she weasels her way into the news. Then we jump all over the old skank again.
Greg Jones, Hilliary Clinton is an attorney, a former United State Senator, a former Secretary of State, and twice a Presidential Candidate.
What have you accomplished with your "Non-Skank Life"?
I take it you are not, any of the things that she was in her professional life. She was also Valedictorian of her College, were you?
Hillary, as a top attorney in Little Rock, Arkansas was the breadwinner for her family. Her husband, Bill, an attorney, also, and a Rhoades Scholar served as Governor of his state for six terms. She guided his career, served as his top political adviser, and as First Lady of Arkansas for twelve years.
Hillary guided Bill's political career to the Whitehouse and served as a working, advising First Lady for 8 years.
She is a brilliant, accomplished professional who dedicated hef life to public service. What have you dedicated yours to other thank tearing down those that have?
Perhaps, Greg, you should take a breather from politics and ask the Man Upstairs how you might be helpful, instead of hurtful.
I use my skills, talents and professional ability to expose FRAUDS, like Trump, Mc Connell and demons like Putin. At 77.8.12 days, I have learned a few things.
I figure my EXPIRATION DATE is rapidly approaching, so I want to "clean out the closet" before I am put out with the old shoes.
That is what I am doing. How about you? Are you tearing down or building up?
Well, that doesn't prevent them from killing people. One does not have to be in the Oval Office to commit nefarious crimes, now do they.
Admittedly, it makes it harder, nearly impossible to take them down.
When, and, if the Attorney General releases the redacted version of the Video Tape taken of Epstein 24/7, we, the public may be "more, or, less confused" about what happened to Epstein.
One thing we know for sure from Attorney General William Barr, "Trump was exonerated by the Video Tapes. A black,, light skin Afro-American man is shown in the video wearing a Harvard Law School "Hoody", is a "person of interest", noted Barr from a Men's Stall in the Attorney General office.
I rest my case!
I think this piece needs a bit of editing, don't you? Tomorrow I edit.
I would like to prosecute everyone I see.
Trump - NOT MY PRESIDENT! Is this theft yours?
When the "Truth" hits you like a "Pizza Pie" right smack in the eye, don't blame Dean Martin. "That's the Mora!"
He only sang about it. Dino didn't toss it.
Remember that at the Court Hearings!
"Some people are better locked up", that is what the Superintendent said to me when I protested by recent confinement to the Dick Cheney NURSING HOME For UnRepentent Republicans, where waterboarding is a THERAPY, not torture!
I have revised this piece seven-times, per my OCD, and, still, it makes no sense.
If you like it send CASH! No jewelry. My fence is upset with me about our past couple of exchanges.
I know that this is a long article. But, we are trying to save our planet. So read it, take you meds, memorize it, then, discards, the DEEP STATE is everywhere, even in your underwear. BEWARE!
"The world we little note what we say here", but, it will never forget what TRUMP Shat, here!
CLEAN IT UP, Asswipes to the rescue! Man up, or, Shut Up!
Why try to change someone's mind, when you can make them believe anything. (Duh?)
Mika Brzezinski says …..that's the "Medias" job.
Perhaps, but, there is a distinct difference between "Journalists" and the "Media".
Journalists root out the truth, investigate, vet their sources and share with the general public their findings.
The Media entertains, exploit and has a singular objective: MONEY, Honey!
These dangerous, menacing times call for clear thinking, for citizens to stand up to CORPORATE and political corruption unleashed upon this nation since the 1950s.
The emerging "Industrial - Military Complex", that a Republican President, Eisenhauer warn Americans about in his final speech to the nation that he helped save from NAZI GERMANY.
The Constitution does not PROTECT CRIMINALS, but, criminals hide behind it "loopholes" to conduct their nefarious deeds.
GREED has always been a major problem for humanity. We cannot, on our watch, allow it to become a "Standard Operating Procedure" because we were blinded by the promises of a slick, fast-talking charlatan.
We elect people, not deities.
Where are the "Journalists" now ?
In St. Maarten sipping Mai-Tai's ?
Everywhere but at Fox Fake News! However, reading has become so passe with Trump Supporters glue to the "boo- tube.
They would rather listen to raving of RUSH, a known pedophile like Trump. Or, slurp up the hot bile slung around from Fox TV FAKE NEWS.
Journalists, good ones, still exist, but, one must have the ability to read, to process information, and not the "Jones" to simply "repeat" false narratives.
Send me something from an actual "journalist" to read !
Seek and you can find. "No seeky, no findy".
Some, my son, can not see the forest for the trees.
Some.....Dad.
The NYC coroner has ruled it a suicide. Get over it conspiracy freaks.
Yes, and Barr, the Attorney General, appointed by the "Dumpster", RULED "No Obstruction - No Collusion", which only goes to show that information can be massaged by dishonest people with a paid A G E N D A.
Professionals, in the know, state that her report, the NY Coroner's, is a standard "summary", not a conclusive investigation. It is only a preliminary start.
Are you, too, a Seer, like "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, or, part of the Trump machine to throw authorities off the scent.
No one in their right man would accuse someone of a crime on national TV other than a nut, or, a guilty party.
For the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, a world leader to do so is highly suggestive of his "mental state", lack of civility, limited understanding of the law, or, he is hiding something.
Trump was made a millionaire at the age of nine. His father gave him that much money to teach him that he was different than others.
Trump believes it to this day. His supporters do, as well.
When his father Frederic Trump, a corrupt builder of low-income housing for the government, died in the 80S, he left his spoiled, little rich brat, Donald, the princely sum of $145,000,000, a fully operational company, and a legacy of "screwing over others" that, to this day, this CAREER CRIMINAL still EXERCISES to this very moment.
Trump claims that he pulled himself up by his own "bootstraps" creating a MYTH that he clings to protect his entitled, bull-crap filled arse, and fragile inner self-esteem.
Some people want HEROES, bigger than life ones, that will lead them, guide them, protect them from the "unknown harshness" of reality. They keep their nose to the grindstone, rarely lookup.
Con Men, religious televangelists, politicians, embossers, charlatans, fake seers, and, others unscrupulous scumbags feed upon humanities foibles like ravenous vultures.
Eventually, the sleeping, fearful, "masses of unwashed asses" awaken, turn angrily on everyone, until they get it through their thick heads, who really fu*ked them.
The French Revolution is an excellent example of this phenomenon. The Russian Revolt, even America's Revolution was a "Wake Up call".
The purely selfish tricksters that believed it is "OK to deceive", are always turned on, resulting in violent confrontations, and devoured.
Mussolini was viciously dragged through the streets of Italy and beaten by thousands of angry Italians.
Trump's day is coming!
Will he survive his first term in office, or, suffer the wrath of justice when VOTERS kick his oversized, oranged, spray-painted ass out of the highest office in the land?
What will his "poorly educated" supporters do then? Grab their guns and start killing their neighbors? Probably!
Interesting.
Well, as a psychic/psycho I can read folk's mind, and, listen in on their most intimate thought. Most of the time it is sex, sex, sex with their family members, etc.
My personal Psychic, Psycho, will validate any of my impressions, readings, or, attest to the truth of all the information I gathered during my Sleeping Seances with VIP.
QUESTION: What is the purpose of the large compass in the upper right hand of the comment section?
It seems to get larger at times, blocking my view to read my witty retorts.
Does anyone know what its purpose might be?
Go to this link on our site (NT) and learn about the Tracker and Navigator. (Smile.)
CS: Instead of doing that, I took your earlier advised and edited this MASTERPIECE, making it more comprehensive and much, much longer, as you suggested in your post.
Thank you!
https://thenewstalkers.com/tig/blog/1480/guide-to-the-tracker
Sorry, I left off the link! My fault, ETP! Paste it in your browser and read it, please. — CB
Thanks!
As is my compulsive custom, I revise, edit, and clean up "me" works of art, over and over until, even I do not know what they are about.
It is a technique that I learned while serving in the 8th RRU, an Army Intelligence Unit, in Vietnam. One cannot be too careful, "the DEEP STATE", is everywhere, even in your underwear.
Therefore, Brothers & Sistas, of the TNT commie Network, I periodically invite previous perusals to return and take another swipe at it for "clarity".
In other words, "The Chuckle Hut & Laundry Mat" is open for business.
Everything I write, is, of course, in C O D E.
We must, I believe, do our part to "Ed-u-may-cake" our fellow 'Mericans who were led ash-trays by their smoking habit, and, taken advantage of by the "Glowing Orange Glow Sticks".
BTW:
De-Coders may be purchased on our Webpage,"Suckers Will Buy Anything" for low, low prices of How Low Can You Go!
CS, you say that the "Tracker and Navigator SMILE"? Why?
At times, like these, I question if my multiple mini-strokes may have taken a toll on me ability to "ability to wipe my arse with both hands.
See @24.1.2. Sorry! (It's not your strokes, (this time).)
Writing tomes, like these, is how I lost my first six "Sister Wives". And, unceremoniously kicked out of the entire state of Utah.
Why is anyone still discussing a ridiculous conspiracy theory? Epstein killed himself because he was in despair over living in a squalid prison. Days before his suicide he was returned , from the suicide watch cell, to his regular cell. In the regular cell he had a bedsheet he could use to hang himself , and a structure from which to do it. On the night of the suicide the guard on duty to watch the cell block fell asleep. It is believed Epstein could have seen the guard sleeping from his cell. He went for his way out.
When I was a "sophomore" in college, I got the handle "Little Johnnie Jump Up" from my fellow debating students.
Because like so many people, here, on TNT, I thought I knew everything. I didn't, but, I had an opinions on everything. Especially on the subjects, I knew nothing about.
That handle has stayed with me, and, I use it as my stage name, "Little Johnnie Jump Up".
I loved to argue with my colleagues well into the night convinced that I alone understood what no one else did. Man, was I pumped up on "pomposity".
It is, it seems, what "sophomores" do!
At 77.8.18 years and counting, I am beginning to see that I know very, very little, but, still, love to shout from my makeshift pulpit.
"Hey, has anyone seen my orange crate? I have something to say!"
Nah! But, hey, I am holding a spot in the field for ya! Find it, and come on back!
Thanks, CB:
That damnable Steve Bunions had my Orange Crate. He was using it a Night Stand to hold his confidential papers that he took with him from the WH when he was tossed out by Trump for getting more press than the FAKE POTUS - REAL POS did.
As you know, I love to blow . . . that is "blow smoke up uptight, right-wingers ARSES to jump-start their threads.
I guess the "cooties" is the price we must pain orderer to engage them.
BTW:
I have a shortened version of this Masterpiece. It is a quicker read, more to the point!
Trump: "The CLINTONS DID IT"!
Trump's ugly mother, who looks just like him, tolds us the her "ugly son" had a inbred habit of blaming others, "especially me, she whimpered.
"I was raped by HITLER, you know," she confessed to our "sauce", Steve Bunions. "Adolf is his Father!"
"How was Trump as a young boy", Busion inquired.
"I always hated that little nose picker," his mother shot back."The little SOB was always projecting his crimes on to the other children, or, me", she said, still angry after all these years.
His step-father, Frederick, the KKK Wizard for NYC, would "beat the crap out of me, instead of him."
"When my half son-half Hitler's son says, 'The Clintons Did It', you know instantly, that he is 'projecting', and he did it", she said.
"Looks like Donald is going to prison", summarized Bunnions and filed this report.
The end!
Is that short enough for you?
"Know It All":
In 1962, at the end of my sophomore years in college, I dropped out, hitched hiked to NYC, and, met a "Street Philosopher/Panhandler" by the name of "Dirty Dan".
He supported a family of three was engaging and always had an opinion. He schooled me in the ways of the world, his world, in Manhattan and, I was spellbound.
"Opinions are like ass-holes", he said. "Everyone has one." "Some have two. Their mouth and their ass".
I smiled as this grizzled, man in rags as he shuffled about his business bumming "money to eat".
"And, remember this, son, everyone thinks that theirs doesn't stink. Opinions are a dime a dozen'", he said as he scurried up to his next donor.
Later, he became a very successful politician, as a Republican. He rose to prominence on a platform aimed at "Getting Rid of Street Panhandlers". And, was elected over and over, again, and again, in the Bowery District of NYC!
We all have to start somewhere. Our opinions evolve and change, as we (agh) become wiser.
When I lived in Greenwich Village in the 60s, I met a lot of artists, poets, writers, musicians, designers, filmmakers, actors, singers an comedians.
Tuesday was Open Mic Night when new talent would show up competing for a paid spot in our weekly line up.
Today, the Right Wing Culture Police would round them all up, shave their heads and throw them in the clink, as "Pinko-Communists-Socialists Queers who Hated 'Merica".
Or, beat them with baseball bats, until we started fighting back, iron posts and karate chops to the throat. The Right awful Conservative Republicans
have not changed in nearly 60 years - still, rigid, bitter, angry folks hiding behind their fears, using their Bibles as a battling ram to silence those "other folks".
"Fuzacy, 'em", I say.
In the future, after China, or, North Korea, or, Russia nukes America, historians will find these archives and say, "Boy, those folks at Eat The Press - sure knew what they were talking about!"
And no one will know what they are talking about.
We don't HATE TRUMP, or, anyone, we just believe that it is time for the CON-MAN to be undone. Don't you agree?
I don't mean to sound paranoid, but, I am.
Is the "Dumpster" listening in on our conversation?
I keep smelling sulfur like substance and out of the corner of my eye, I catch a brief glimpse of a fat Orange Gelatin mass darting by my desk en route to my private bathroom.
Who else could it be?
Too cruel. Is that a morphing effect? And did you do it yourself?
Cruel is Trump's middle name, "John" is where he sleeps and eat.
I did not create the image, Satan did on his day off.
Nor, is being deliberately misinformed because of one's cultural ignorance, and deprivation.
Locking kids in cages, separating them from their mothers, forcing them to be detained endlessly in overcrowded spaces, and, telling them to drink out of a toilet is not only cruel but it is INSANE.
Trump is the poster boy for A-Holes. He is a selfish, arrogant, spoiled brat who never grew up.
He is a pathological lying sociopath, a danger to our liberty and to the World.
Trump'S cruel, mean spirited selfish behavior is UNEXCUSABLE!
I have been editing this "tome", a little at a time when the Warden allows be to do so after my chores are completed.
Do you have a "Warden" at your domicile to keep you on track?
That is the key to our 43 years of marriage, 45 years of lust, as well.
You seem to have extensive biblical knowledge, how did you acquire it?
Trump is everywhere, even in my underwear.
ASSISTANCE ANYONE:
I used to have a link or method to share my articles with Facebook, Reddit, and other SITES, but, it seems to be missing on my page.
Is there a procedure to retrieve it?
I don't know about it. Not on any of those (or other) sites at this time. May be you can use the chat box with Tig or Perrie! Very helpful people. You know, I would share with you if I did use such a tool!
Thanks, CB.
In SUMMARY, the solution is:
We are all looking for the SIMPLE SOLUTION, or, as Scientist called it, "The Elegant Theory" that encompasses everything.
Well, here, it is: "GOD IS GOOD"!
HE can only do good. Got it? Now STFU!
In the end, when all is said and done, I, too, am undone. Where, or where is that "gun"?
The Keys to Heaven are hidden in the body of the article, as, well as, tucked neatly away in the comment section.
One cannot, or, should not, read one without the other. It's a "Shoe and foot, thing a-ma-gig."
Be Patient, My Little Ones, the Truth is Not Always Easily Found!
Sometimes one must send money, lots of it, by currier, to the one who knows, so he can live in splendor, while you are clothed in rags.
One must be humbled to know. Send cash ONLY!
There, I have done it. Edited as best I could while smoking a medicinal joint.
If you discover any additional grammatical errors, typos, etc., correct them yourself. I am not your MOTHER! iN TRUTH, I AM NOT ONE's MOTHER, even though I may be a MFer.
Only three more additionals "comments", and I will release you from your strain of reading this tome.
Get to it. I can't do it all by myself.
It looks like I will have to do it myself, since, most of you missed the literary jewels embedded within the content.
I fear, too many may have their flunked English Literature courses and have no idea of the importance of this piece.
Two hundred and one comments and climbing, suck on that critics.
My friend! Stop navel gazing and get back to work! Retirement is years off for ya! (Smile.)
Editing, re-editing, correcting and still there is more work to do.
I am having difficulty when I attempt to write a new article.
When I type one letter in the title bar it kicks me off the page back to a different location.
I text "PH", she said it is nothing on her end. Suggested I clear my cache. Does that mean my cache of weapons, missile, grenades, tanks, etc?
The one I am storing in my basement for the "END OF TIMES" dust-up that Evangelicals are looking forward to, and are working diligently to rush it in by supporting the "Dumpster" ever crazy act.
I tried emptying my caches on me computer, but, still, it tosses me off. PH implied that they or their Moderators are not the "guilty parties".
My computer may be upset with me. Any suggestions?
1. Computer 'fart' may be? What that means is a computer 'reboot" (manually turn it off and back on) is being called in order to close something hidden outside of your perception. Also, it refreshes stuff in general on the system.
2. What browser to you use? Either I can share a link to how to clear its cache; or you can look it up from this 'prompting.'
Thanks, went to Del Support. They got me back in business.
A gentleman and a scholar!
I trust (hope?) you made notes from Support. Keep those words in a safe, dry, and non-hostile environment marked: "In Case of Computer Farts!
Now, class, that wasn't so hard, was it?
It was too hard for yours truly. (I never returned from break as far as the reading is concerned.) I will suggest "less is more" on this week's project! We're busy people out here in reality and though our attention spans bring us here daily, we must expend a lot of mind-power across the platform. Less is more!!!
As the song lyric goes, "do the good inside the bad."
Give it a fresh read from the top. I have re-worked it and it reads much better.
This is me MASTERPIECE and has been tweaks so many times that it squeaks like well-running engines about to storm the WH.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
What is this little gem doing hiding halfway through that potent concoction of yours? Sleepy as I am today from the party on Saturday, I muddled through and found a column 'monitor' set to trip! Gotcha.
Okay, you have some real good 'butta' in there, but you got an over abundance of artificially-favored 'margarine' splashing around too! Tighten and tidy it up more:
Jimmy Stewart roast
Peace, "Tiger"! I told Nurse Betty to not disturb you tomorrow morning - let you sleep deep, long, and 'in the corner' for a change up!
Thank, you Comrade in Arms. Short, pithy and concise. Not verbose.
Good advise, but, I don't think I want folks beating a path to me door.
I want them beating Trump Supporters with a stick!
Is that wrong?
Nah!
Have you ever read Henry James, a British writer who sentences filled up a page?
I picked up some of his bad habits. However, once engaged, I cannot stop until exhausted. I lose myself in my imagination and do not want to come back.
Much of what I write is about me, as well as the subject matter. I write for me, I suppose.
I have been told that my work is an "acquired" taste.
Still, many of our Right Wing, Religious Trump Supporters say it is a piece of "shat".
A compliment coming forth from these poor deprived, self-hating, weapons touting Evangelical Christians polluting TNT.com.with their racism, and pro-fascist comments.
"Do right in the wrong . . . be strong"!
I never slept with him, or, Melania, Never"! - Donald J. Trump
Then who is Barron's father?
The Butler did it. In the Library. With a HazMat suit.
Clinton!
"The butler did it. In the Library wearing a HAZMAT SUIT"
.
lMAO, now that is "brilliant". Thank you, thank you, Raven Wing.