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In the living years

Posted by Perrie Halpern on April 23, 2014 at 2:00am 2 Comments

Crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defense

My childhood friend and stylist to the stars, Phillip Bloch, wrote an article to his deceased father on the first Father's Day that he had without him. Like many of us, he had had his differences with his dad. He talked of words now exchanged, that can no longer be taken back. The issues that seemed so important to him in life, no longer seemed as important to him now that his dad passed. As I read the article I cried. I cried because I knew his dad and had always had a warm relationship with him. I cried; for my friend, who was now regretting moments he could no longer fix. I cried because like my friend Phillip, I too, have had rough patches with my own mother and wondering it there is any possibility to fix them. There have been so many years of damage. Sometimes, because of situations and family dynamics you just can't find agreement, in the present tense ; a parent’s expectation of a child sharing their beliefs and values, only to find disappointment when they don't ; A child's frustration, in trying to get the parent to understand these differences, feeling a disconnect when their parents can't seem to bend.

This pattern of behavior has been going on since the beginning of time. It is…

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