Scores of angry Canadians explode after being told they can't get cheap smokes on reserves amid Covid-19 pandemic - Walking Eagle News
Category: SatireVia: kavika • one month ago • 25 comments
By: Walking Eagle News
The latest from Walking Eagle News.
When they are too full of shit to fly.
December 1, 2021
Hundreds of angry Canadians have spontaneously combusted after learning they're no longer allowed to go on reserves and purchase discount cigarettes or fuel because of the global Covid-19 pandemic.
"You have to understand, being told we're not allowed to go somewhere — even if it means spreading harmful disease — is like TNT to us," said Lily LeBlanc, a spokesperson for Canadians.
"We must have access to these Indigenous communities and their limited resources or we'll all blow up."
It's not just fuel and tobacco purchases causing the angry Canadian explosions either.
Other Indigenous communities are reporting an influx of angry Canadians blowing up after being told they can't go looking to fish, drive off-road vehicles, or appropriate culture like vacuums.
However, researchers are trying to determine how those who spontaneously combusted still had time to go on social media and post racist diatribes beforehand.