Republican Party Staves Off Red Wave

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  3 weeks ago  •  27 comments

Republican Party Staves Off Red Wave
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid record discontent around the economy, inflation, and education, the Republican Party has narrowly managed to stave off what many thought would be a record-breaking red wave.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid record discontent around the economy, inflation, and education, the Republican Party has narrowly managed to stave off what many thought would be a record-breaking red wave.

"This was a close call," said one Republican leader in Washington. "We were worried that we would achieve massive victories tonight, but we thankfully snatched defeat from the jaws of victory to achieve a much more proper and sensible red trickle, like the proper gentlemen we are."

Some Republicans achieved major victories, which were largely ignored by party leadership due to the fact that those Republicans were loud and icky "MEGA-MAGA" culture warriors. "Ron DeSantis won by double digits, and frankly, we find that quite uncouth," said a D.C. consultant while holding up a glass of red trickle victory champagne. "Everyone knows the key to being a good Republican is to muddle your message and make it really squishy so no one knows what you stand for and everyone will like you. Duh!"

Everyone in the room then golf-clapped politely.

At publishing time, Republican strategists were researching ways to keep their power in D.C. without achieving so much power that they'd actually have to become compelling leaders.


Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
[]
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.1  Ender  replied to  GregTx @1    3 weeks ago

That is a pretty pic though.

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Quiet
1.2  squiggy  replied to  GregTx @1    3 weeks ago

Yea, like high school football, no runaway scores. Yea, that's the ticket.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
2  Ozzwald    3 weeks ago
Republican Party Staves Off Red Wave

Republican strategists are beginning to understand that many republican voters will NOT vote against their own best interests every time there is an election.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
3  JohnRussell    3 weeks ago
"Everyone knows the key to being a good Republican is to muddle your message and make it really squishy so no one knows what you stand for and everyone will like you. Duh!"

Duh is right. The Republicans did not "muddle" their message, they had a horrible message. 

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Participates
4  Sunshine    3 weeks ago

People talk as if the election was a Blue wave....lol.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.1  JohnRussell  replied to  Sunshine @4    3 weeks ago

Rick Scott, the head of the GOP congressional re-election committee , predicted that the Republicans would end up with 56 seats in the Senate. 

If they didnt want the actual result to be universally seen as a failure he should have kept his mouth shut. 

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Participates
4.1.1  Sunshine  replied to  JohnRussell @4.1    3 weeks ago
If they didnt want the actual result to be universally seen as a failure he should have kept his mouth shut. 

Of course the leaders will stay positive.

No one sees the results as a failure except those who wish to spin it that way.

Many interpreted the polls wrong when actually most where within the margin of error.

Hopefully Republicans win the House and head committees again.  Oh boy, hang on to the TDS, this is going to be fun.  jrSmiley_82_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.1.2  JohnRussell  replied to  Sunshine @4.1.1    3 weeks ago
TDS

TRUMP is DERANGED SIS 

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Participates
4.1.4  Sunshine  replied to  JohnRussell @4.1.2    3 weeks ago

When they start investigating Biden for pimping out his son you are going to need a lot of TDS deflections.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
4.1.5  JohnRussell  replied to  Sunshine @4.1.4    3 weeks ago

trump derangement syndrome does not exist

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.1.6  Tessylo  replied to  JohnRussell @4.1.5    3 weeks ago

It really needs to be a violation.  I'm sick of it.

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Quiet
4.1.7  squiggy  replied to  Sunshine @4.1.4    3 weeks ago

I never know whether to laugh or laugh when I see some of this shit

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Participates
4.1.8  Sunshine  replied to  Tessylo @4.1.6    3 weeks ago

jrSmiley_90_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Gsquared
Senior Expert
5  Gsquared    3 weeks ago

As usual, the Republicans will claim that their candidates weren't "conservative" enough.  That American voters want really hard core right wing reactionaries.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
5.1  Ozzwald  replied to  Gsquared @5    3 weeks ago
That American voters want really hard core right wing reactionaries.

What do republicans offer?

  • Anti-choice, unless it is for vaccinations or Hershel Walker.
  • Traditional marriage, but only with gay people, mixed race marriages are still okay.  Although both were legalized from the same section of the Constitution.
  • Anti birth control AND anti welfare once those children are born.
  • Against big government, unless that government is republican.
  • Pro free speech, as long as you don't say anything bad about a republican.
  • Pro law enforcement, unless law enforcement is investigating a republican.

To start with.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
5.2  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Gsquared @5    3 weeks ago
As usual, the Republicans will claim that their candidates weren't "conservative" enough. 

I claim that many Repub politicians to include those that lost last night aren't conservatives at all, they are populists.  

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
6  JohnRussell    3 weeks ago

150 election denying Republicans won last night. 

The Congress will be filled with them. 

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
7  Sean Treacy    3 weeks ago

Republican and Democratic incumbents generally did fine.   Governors who the voters knew, DeSantis, Kemp DeWine,  Abbott etc pretty much all exceeded expectations.  Even Ron Johnson, an incumbent with a history of gaffes kept his Senate seat in a blue state.  Not a single Republican incumbent Senator or Governor lost.  But Republicans couldn't get voters to trust Republicans to knock off democratic incumbents in blue states (possibly excluding Laxalt).  

Voters are aligned with their team. It's a 50 -50 country.  They might not like their side, but they don't cross lines for unknowns.  That's particularly true in the House, where party identification matters more than in statewide elections where the candidate typically  has a larger  profile.  Republicans have to make improvements with their brand so the low information voter will not be afraid to vote for them.  The constant branding by the media as extremists and tying candidates to Trump hurt.  

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
8  Drinker of the Wry    3 weeks ago
especially given all the ammo the Republicans had.

Ammo or blanks?

But frankly, I think DeSantis will run and will probably get the nomination... so the Dems are going to have to do some soul-searching.

I agree.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
PhD Principal
8.1  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @8    3 weeks ago

Speaking of ammo, Beto had $77milion in his losing bid and Stacey Abrahams $105 million.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
9  Perrie Halpern R.A.    3 weeks ago

This was hardly the red wave that was expected, especially given all the ammo the Republicans had. You might want to ignore the fact, that DeSantis won in part because he is not going along with the mud-slinging and sticking on message. He also hasn't declared FLA as a no-abortion state. He is sticking to the tried and true message of the GOP.

On the other hand, Trump, who has viewed him as a threat for the presidency, has already a nasty nick name for him (DeSantimonious), which is something my elementary school kids would do, and has threatened him with exposing personal information. That is the very stuff that didn't give you the red wave you should have had, by all accounts.

Unless the GOP rebrands a bit, and believe or not I hope it does, this might be the shape of things to come.

But frankly, I think DeSantis will run and will probably get the nomination... so the Dems are going to have to do some soul-searching.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
9.1  Ender  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @9    3 weeks ago

I think Joe is just going to be a poor candidate in two years.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
9.1.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Ender @9.1    3 weeks ago

I agree. I hope for the sake of the Dems, that they can come up with someone better.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
9.1.2  Ender  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @9.1.1    3 weeks ago

What I see happening is the dems won't want to ruffle too many feathers and stick with Biden and he will lose.

The only one I think he would win against is trump.

And here we are already talking about the next election...Haha

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Guide
10  Greg Jones    3 weeks ago

Repubs really need to repudiate Trump starting NOW

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
10.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Greg Jones @10    3 weeks ago

I have to agree with you Greg. 

 
 

Who is online

Greg Jones
Ozzwald
squiggy
Vic Eldred
Kavika


14 visitors