╌>

America is going to Hell in a handbag!

  

Category:  News & Politics

By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  7 months ago  •  23 comments

America is going to Hell in a handbag!
"Mamas, don't let your kids sit next to Lauren Boebert. She is a handler!

DISCLAIMER: 

If words offend you, and deeds don't, you might PREFER to slink over to one of those dull, Right-Wing discussions where Christians are praying for Biden's IMPEACHMENT!

__________________ You Have Been Warned ______________

My Fellow Left-Wing Gifted Angels & Right-Wing Bottom-Dwellers, don't let your children sit next to Lauren Blow-Bert, in a public theater.

CAUTION:  

This She-Devil is a HANDLER!

That malady is a congenital, somewhat embarrassing habit, used by low-function kids to get out of school.

Blow-bert can't help herself, despite all the DWIs, she and her convicted husband have had over their drunk driving days, she still is a POS!

And, of course, Horse, her husband is a despicable pig, too. He was arrested twice for EXPOSING himself in public, once to children and the other times to his drunk patrons.

What the HELL is wrong with these so-called Christian Conservative Right-Wing, gun-touting, Drunk, Angry, fake self-proclaimed "patriots"?

256


Personally, I don't care if Kevin McCarthy is the official "Yack Off" in the House. Republican Proud Boys wipe feces on the "Sacred Halls of Congress because they had a burr of their ass for some damn reason.

Kevin McCarthy won the award for the biggest POS and the smallest spine in Congressional history.

His critics, of which I am one, proclaim him to be a "small bag of badly smelling graveyard dust!"  Whatever the Freakin' Frack that means.

Kevin is the type of a She/He-man, who easily falls under the spells of extremely ugly women. 

Marjorie Taylor Green, aka "Three Toes," for instance, has wrapped the horny ("Never Gets Any") McCarty around her bizarre, three-toe feet, forcing him to wash her them, in a biblical manner, with his tongue, according to my "sauces" (Sliver and Lactose Intolerant).

My fellow, former newsvine.com ex-patriots, you have your "sauces," and I have urine, too. 

Our greatest threat is the Republicans in Congress, not yet, out of their portable OUT HOUSE , who are hell-bent on impeaching President Joe Biden because he can read, and they can't!

That's what happens when you drop out of school in the 8th grade to marry your sister.

Re-Tard-I-KKK-cans, currently serving in the once great "Sacred Hall of Congress", have only one issue on their mind:

  "SHUT da GUVMINT DOWN!"

That way they get more time off...to jack off and are not burdened with any work.

Really, Re-Thug-I-KKK-Cans, with extremely low I.Q. should keep their Pie Hole shut. It is only polite.

What they really want to do, and why they want to shut Congress down, is because the "straight-arrow, Miss Linseed Oils-Graham Cracker is holding her "Annual Gay Bash"!

It is a feast, according to one of my numerous hallucinations, and is sponsored by that Right-Wing, Rich Billionaire non-Non Profit, " We Are Not Gay! Just DEPRESSED - NOT GAY"!

And, we will knock the SNOT out, and seize the property of anyone that says otherwise.

They are the "Ain't WOKE" and not broke!  They are filthy, stinking rich, Bitches.

Can I get an AMEND fer da?

My sauces, here, at the Bird Dropping Institute - Think/Stink Tank for Morons, No Idiots, please, claim chain-smoking scholars discovered, after being water-boarded 9 times, that this week-long retreat is more revealing than the one thrown at Brokeback Mountain by those great sad-sack politicians, Paul Gozar and Bobby Kenney, Jr. (rumored to be wed this Fall, you all).

Rumor has it, the "Twisted Sister's  Gay Bath Annual & Naked Horse Riding Celebrations, will feature the
 " NO BATH TOWEL ALLOWED"  rule, according to our top scholars, researchers, and psychics, "Wing Ding, and Ding Dong".  

Of course, they will sing their favorite song, "Show me your Junk Cowboy and I will show you mine." 

And, the biggest surprise of all is that Clarence Thomas' Bag Man, will pick up the costs.

Honored guests, this year include George Santos, Rand Paul, Lindsey Graham-Cracker, McCarthy, McConnell, Paul Gozar, Lauren Blow-Bert, Marjorie Taylor Green, and, possibly, the Man of the Year , "Dirty Diaper Donnie", who is coming out of the closet!

(He's just trying to get the GAY VOTE)

Come if you must, but get here by any means necessary, even it it means SHUTING CONGRESS DOWN!

Friends, fellow fiends, and Right Wing Nut Jobs,  we need your help to SAVE 'Mureee-KKK-a from yourself.

Please, do your country a favor and stay home.

This is a Public Service Plead From Folks That Can Read!

If you would like to see more articles like this, send $8.00 per nuts to:

BIDEN MIGHT BE OLD, BUT T-RUMP IS NUTS! 


Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
[]
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    7 months ago

Kevin is going to HELL!

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
1.1  Gsquared  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1    7 months ago

And he's trying his damnedest to bring the rest of us along with him.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2  devangelical  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1    7 months ago

lauren blowbert was dick... er, fund raising for her 2024 campaign...

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
1.2.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  devangelical @1.2    7 months ago

Well, devangelical that is OK, then. 

"Money, Honey, is money and sometimes, one must give up the Honey", My Momma said, just before they tied her down, as she chortled her last breath.

I was relieved! I was so sick and tired of all of her witless "Witticism" that I nearly bought a gun. But, after the background check, I was done with guns.

By the way, when applying for one, do not spell guns as "GUM". That really pisses those boys off.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
2  Ozzwald    7 months ago
America Is Going To Hell In A Handbag

I don't know about it going in a handbag, but if it goes it will definitely be sporting a MAGA hat.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
2.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Ozzwald @2    7 months ago

Yep, and have you noticed that they are all RED?
What do you think the "Hidden Message" is in that, Jack?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3  Trout Giggles    7 months ago
don't let your children sit next to Lauren Boebert in a theater. She is a HANDLER!

She''ll polish your knob whether you want her to or not

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
3.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Trout Giggles @3    7 months ago

Thank you, Trout Giggles for that insight. We, Mother Tuckers, must be every vigilant.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
4  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    7 months ago

It is NOT my intent to OFFEND, but if I do, it is a benefit!

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
5  JohnRussell    7 months ago

Marjorie Taylor Green, aka "Three Toes"

they call her that because thats as high as she can count

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
6  JohnRussell    7 months ago

The thing I like about  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it   articles is that they demand we approach MAGA at their own intellectual level. 

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
6.1  Texan1211  replied to  JohnRussell @6    7 months ago

Now, I don't care who you are, that there is FUNNY!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6.2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @6    7 months ago

Well, it is easier for me. I am there. All I have to do is open the door. And, Walleye, I am there, fish hook and all. My Mama always said, "You is one dumb son of a bum"!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
6.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JohnRussell @6    7 months ago

Yes, it is kind that when addressing intellectual dwarves one should get down in the mud with them.

"When in France, do the French," My Mama Always said. 

What did your Mama teach you about "BLACK PANTIES"?

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
7  Buzz of the Orient    7 months ago

I would post a comment if I had any idea what to say about this topic, but since it caused the only laughs I've had this morning I do thank everyone else.  Will I get deleted if I point out that I've posted a brand new movie quiz?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
7.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @7    7 months ago

Buzzard, there is a very good chance that it could happen. They are watching all of us, even our watches. 


 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
7.1.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @7.1    7 months ago

With all these amazing new electronic and AI advances being put into the watches by Apple and others we really do have to watch out for our watches and what they can do to us. 

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
8  al Jizzerror    7 months ago

2bm20d.jpg

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
8.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  al Jizzerror @8    7 months ago

That was my favorite song when I was a teen. Now, Donnie has ruined it for me. No one should sing out of every orifice at the same time.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
9  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    7 months ago

My first girlfriend was a Scare Crow! She left me for the "Farmer in the Dale", and I have been traumatized ever since. It's so much fun!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    7 months ago

It is not that I don't like Republicans. I let three of them sleep in my driveway:

Ghoulianni, Miss Linseed Oil and "Dirty Diaper Donnie". I would run them off, but I like running them over.

Is that wrong?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
11  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    7 months ago

Remember, folks, Sanity is Not ALL it is CRACKED up to be
Neither is the "Donald"!

Where is the FUN in "dat, I ass you"?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
Professor Guide
12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    7 months ago

We must weed out the WEEDS, if ever we are to have a GARDEN OF EDEN, again.

Start now, use Putin's Window Approach To Problem Solving. It is very effective, I am told.

 
 

Who is online




23 visitors