What actually makes us happy
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Loneliness and stress are high — but many of us struggle to find the right solutions.
By the numbers: 4 in 10 Americans said their mental health was only fair or poor, according to a 2022 report from the American Psychiatric Association.
More than 1 in 3 Americans are lonely, per a Harvard study. That rises to 61% when looking at younger people, and 51% among mothers with young children.
Between the lines: Part of the problem is that we aren’t very good at knowing what to do to feel better, Yale psychologist Laurie Santos tells Axios’ 1 big thing podcast.
Social connection is a critical part of the equation, she says.
Santos has three tips to cut through the self-help noise and find lasting happiness:
Know what counts as connection. Focus on real-time communication, which isn’t a text or posting on someone’s social media feed. As primates, we’re evolved for live conversations, which can be virtual.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be intimate. Even conversations with strangers on a train, or fleeting encounters, like smiling at someone, can boost our mood.
Happiness doesn’t mean dispelling all negative emotions, which are part of what make us human. “I think especially in the tough times we’re dealing with, negative emotions are normative. We need to pay attention to them because they’re signaling changes that we need to make,” Santos says. “Happiness really is about a decent ratio of positive to negative emotions.”
The bottom line: Reframe how you think about happiness.
It doesn’t have to be a big event like a long vacation or a promotion at work.
“The better metaphor is it’s kind of like a leaky tire,” says Santos. “You need to fill it up with these tiny moments, and those tiny social moments mean a lot for our positive emotion.”
These seem like disastrous numbers to me.
Trump behind bars would be a good start.
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The "Pursuit of Happyness" is more than a movie. I can be happy if NT members enjoy doing my movie quizzes, cause I enjoy creating them. I can be happy that approaching the age of 87 I'm still kicking and can go out and enjoy a walk on a nice sunny day, or when I play ping-pong with my wife. I can even be happy if once in a while because of a special occasion I can get to eat a nice piece of cake.