Trump Administration Announces That We Don’t Know Where the Sun Goes at Night
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
“President Trump on Thursday announced he was erasing the scientific finding that climate change endangers human health and the environment, ending the federal government’s legal authority to control the pollution that is dangerously heating the planet.” — The New York Times
A new ruling from the Trump administration says that when the sun disappears at night, we don’t know where it goes. All remaining top scientists have been taken from their positions and tasked with getting to the bottom of this.
The National Institutes of Health has orders to devote every whiteboard in every conference room to this pressing question. In the Oval Office, under the gold leaf, the president and his advisers are making a big list of possibilities:
The sun might be on the back of a big beetle—a dung beetle, maybe. (The EPA will work to determine what kind of beetle.) Where is the beetle going with it? Will the beetle bring it back?
Or maybe the witches take it. (They are pretty sure in the White House that witches are real.)
Maybe the immigrants steal the sun in the evenings.
Maybe the sun is the yellow scribble in the top corner of the page with sunglasses drawn on it in marker, and it disappears when someone puts it in a drawer. (But who? Emmanuel Macron?)
Maybe the sun is in Greenland. (If so, it is even more important to get control of Greenland.)
Maybe Bad Bunny has taken the sun hostage and is keeping it in his halftime grass. (He must be held to account.)
Maybe the groundhog knows. (Can the groundhog be made to talk?)
Maybe Jerome Powell has put the sun in his office.
Maybe the children have the sun, and we had better warehouse them all in Texas until one of them gives it up.
Maybe a wolf swallows it.
Maybe Mark Kelly and several other dissident members of Congress are hiding the sun in a big bag. (He got the bag when he was in space. Fortunately, soon only billionaires will be allowed to visit space and get the bags for the sun, and they will be required to give the bags to the president directly.)
Maybe Hillary Clinton ate it. (We put nothing past her.)
It’s very frightening when the sun goes away, now that we have decided we don’t know where it goes at night.
You can just decide that you don’t know things, it turns out, even if you do know them. You can simply decide to forget progress. Disease is caused by miasma, insufficient beef tallow, corn syrup, the evil eye. You can simply decide to burn coal and witches and books again.
Be especially sure to burn the books. We must do whatever we can to make light until the sun comes back.
I hope it comes back soon.
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After fathering 2-1/2 dull sons Donald wanted a brighter Sun ... it's being goldleafed.
No way he was going to let Saparmurat Niyazovm upstage him.
"Dirty Diaper Donnie" is getting NUTTIER, and nuttier with every passing hour. Perhaps, a FRONTAL LOBOTOMY might help.
Of course, nuttering him would make a GREAT TV SHOW.
It's just a suggestion. Don't get your knickers in a bunch.
BUT.... he was elected, therefore no one should take issue with him lest they expose their "TDS".
TRUMP is GOD, don't ya know!
NASA takes it down every night for a good washing. Then they tuck into bed and read "Good night Moon" to it
So, that is how it works?
The lessons we learn here on the News Talkers.com are illuminating.
Trump couldn't see the light if he was standing on the sun
He thinks gravity pulls water from northern California to southern California because southern is lower on the map.
Nah - that would be AOC.
Why would anyone be stupid enough to just believe what comes out of that monumental moron's mouth even if he is the President? The only thing dumber than Donald Trump are those who actually believe what is coming out of Trumps mouth.
There is NO LIGHT left in "Dirty Diaper Donnie", just SHAT STAINS everywhere, or so I have been advised by two of Trump'S legenanry advisors:
"GHOULIANI & The Smelly, Unbathed Steve BUNIONS"!
Samples are available at all MAGA meetings for only $50.00 per snif.
It's another cover up. Everyone knows Trump sticks it "where the sun don't shine".
The actual problem is caused because its got the wrong name. It shouldn't be called "The Sun". Rather, it must be renamed: "The Donald Trump Sun".
Exactly, that solves all the problems that Amercanos face to this day.
Well, now a new MAGA activity is afoot to stop the rest of MAGA youth from knowing where the sun goes at night. . . they're leaving the school issued chromebooks and Ipads out of their children's future educational planning. And these are the same set of folks that talk about liberals INTERFERING in the lives of children. Pen and paper is fair enough. . . until one realizes s/he is outclassed by someone who can use smart devices to get things done faster and efficiently to boot!
I am almost certain that I saw the SUN at a DRIVE-IN THEATER in Mildew, Ohio, where there are NO jobs! No, no, no!
Not even "Blow Jobs", whatever that means. It means!
no blow jobs at a drive-in movie?????
My first blow job was at drive in movie.
Wait! Why isn't it called a suck job?!
Without knowing or what the process was that that device used to come up with what it did.
This reminds me of going through high school and in the college math courses the other students invested in Texas Instruments calculators and they were entering equations into them to get the answers and all I had was a cheap calculator in which the highest function was the square root. I was the top of the class for I had to understand the equations and aced the tests where the TI calculators weren't to be used.
What makes you think smart devices equipped with AI can not help users understand its responses? Because AI can break down information. . . in bits 'consumable' to understand to children and adults. (Just ask it about it. . .if you have any AI around to ask that is.)
I probably ask AI a dozen questions a day that I already know the answer to.
It is not emotive. It has no intuition and is rarely correct.
In fact to get the correct answer one has to be so precise it isn't worth the time it takes to question it.
If it's a yes or no question it does pretty well and usually has more correct info than not.
but it is no panacea.
Kids should be able to read and write well enough to earn a device with AI, pad, tablet, phone etc. but AI itself is in its infancy and has a long way to go.
The government should heed this as well as the military and should not become dependent on Claude.
Ironically, I was in the process of bragging on my (new) refurbished HP Windows 11 Pro I5 32 bit ram. computer and accidentally deleted the response to your comment! I have not had this happen to a comment in several years (since I learned not to let it happen to me).
So the short version. I was addressing MAGA supporters "poo-pooing" change.
In my case, AI provides links in its articles which can be researched if/when something seems out of place or not 'whole.' Also, I take for granted (commonsense) kids will be taught to read and write. . . well. it is not that hard. At least, it was not for me!
As for what the future holds for 'tomorrow,'. . . the youth (of tomorrow) will have to 'go and see' as it will be amazing and incredible both—I'm sure. And one more thing, if tomorrow's youth do not learn to read and write well as youths that is on those who can not or will not 'do' it. Nobody else is responsible for them not acquiring the basics.
AI is here and if we do not advance it as a collective in this country, because of politics (dislike), no worries. . . other countries will do if for us. . . and likely use it to teach others the finer points of reading and writing.
Additionally, AI, when formally asked about breaking down complex data into portions that can be explained to 'babes'. . .I asked it can it do so. It states it can 'drill down' on information in a variety of ways to get points sufficiently across to 'anybody' (normally).
My old PC was becoming constipated on data and as version 10 Microsoft sent me a WDGAF anymore letter.
So I bought the best and last DELL PC I will ever need and still suffer from "operator error"
just lightning speed faster.
BTW, have you, Bob, or 'anybody else' ever gotten rid of old computers. . .? My old ones are stored around the house here. They are piling up!
We have a local recycler. I usually keep the hard drives and he disassembles them for the valuable elements and "rare earth".
I used to repair pc's back in the days of DOS. they take telephone cables, ethernet, old 2 prong extension cords etc
The magnets out of older hardrives are ridiculous and perfect for destroying data, so evetually the old hard drives are wiped and I just sent some over with all of the old smoke detectors
Phones, old batteries for Craftmaan tool or Roombas they take it all and make sure it is handled properly
Thank you!
I still have my Heath/Zenith H88/89 computer which I put together in 1978/79 from a kit and expanded it later with a double 5-1/4" floppy disc add on memory and a reel to reel cassette backup.
Been there, lol.
Whaaaaat?!!! That is remarkable, awesome, and 'amazing.'
(As much as I am enjoying this, I must remind myself (and us) that the topic is. . . satire.)
Maximum respect!!
Mind you, it is pretty much useless now. Incompatible and obsolete, no graphics, and a monochrome screen. It was basically a glorified calculator and word processor, which you had to write the programs in Basic and enter them into the computer using the keyboard and if you goofed you had to go through the debugging process to figure it out, but was able to use it for the business inventory system into the late 80s.
This was just the next logical step after so many years of conservatives telling everyone and their children they're going to stick Democrat policy 'where the sun don't shine' but failing miserably. Now they have to try and convince their voters that 'no one knows' where 'the sun doesn't shine' so it's not their fault.
So glad to hear that anthropogenic global warming/climate change doesn't exist. I should just stfu and let Trump solve all my sciency types of problems!