Do I Kill Him? Or Hug Him?
So roughly a month ago, we headed to Lowe's to get some lightbulbs. We picked them up and started wandering around the store.
In the tile aisle, we found a bargain on 4 inch tile that was a nice neutral tannish/brownish for only 15 cents a piece. That's when another lightbulb went on. The one over Steve's head.
"Hey! We should but a couple boxes of this and redo the center island in the kitchen!" My response? "Hey! That's a great idea!" That was the response that would come back to haunt me for al least the next month or two.
We bought the tile and as expected, got the little, center island project done in a weekend. It was a little bit of inconvenience because I use my center island a lot when I cook, but that inconvenience was worth it because...I got a new center island! YIPPEE! And it looked great!
The next morning, I catch Steve, coffee in hand, deep in contemplative thought. He is scratching his chin and staring critically at the kitchen. I approach him with a questioning look on my face. He says: "We need to paint. The center island is a warm toned brown and the walls as a cool based tan." I look. He's right. The contrast is not pleasing to the eye. So off to Lowes we go, piece of tile in hand to pick out paint. For the next two days, my kitchen is un-useable. Appliance are pulled out from the walls, they are tarped and everything that was on the countertops is now on the table.
Finally, the painting is done. And he decides the whitish/grey countertops look way to stark. I sigh. I know what's coming. Back to Lowes.
He takes measurements, has them in hand, we head to Lowes to check out and price countertops. I figure my ace in the hole this time is to just say: 'We can't afford it". Oops. Bad plan. They have deals on countertops and the quote for the whole shebang comes back at a mere $317. I resign myself to an unusable kitchen again. While we're there, Lowes has put even more tile on clearance and he finds some very nice 12 inch tile and matching 6 inch tile. I can see the wheels turning in his head on where to use it. Suddenly, it comes to him..."This will make a great, new fireplace hearth and surround!" Ugh.
It will be 1-2 weeks before the countertops come in. So I figure I have some down time where my kitchen will be useable. I'm happy about that. I come home one day and my livingroom is in complete disarray. I hear pounding. Banging. loud power tools. I rush around the corner and it looks like a disaster has hit. He has ripped out the fireplace surround and hearth. I almost pass out from shock. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!" He looks at me innocently. "Starting on the fireplace", he says. "But the kitchen isn't done!" He tells me that it will be a while before the countertops come in and he has "plenty of time" to get the fireplace done.
Oops. Countertops come in early. To save money, he opted to install them himself. Here we go again. Appliances pulled out from the wall. Everything on the table. He rips out the old countertops....and stops.
"We can't put that white sink back in. It's going to look shabby against these new countertops." I check the internet to see if there is a way I can make strangulation look like an accident. I can't. So I resign myself to sink shopping. We know a good plumber. he's also a goo friend and cheap. We buy a sink.
The next two days, the weather people are getting increasingly alarmed about the winter storm that's moving in. Steve is diligently working away on installing the countertops, including cutting the whole in them to fit the new sink. I'm getting nervous. It's a race against Mother Nature. I flat out REFUSE to go into a blizzard without a functioning kitchen. He tells me not to worry.
The storm is 8 hours away. I come home to Steve under the sink, swearing like a banshee, plumbing parts surrounding him. My hardwood floors are damp and the dog is hiding in the back bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I say. "Trying to install this goddam sink from hell!!!" He responds. "Call Mike". (plumber). After I said that, I swear I saw the devil in his eyes. "What?! You don't think I can do this?" I gesture helplessly at the water on the floor, the random mess of plumbing parts and the dissaray in the kitchen. I don't say a word.
We camped in our own house during a blizzard. Thank God for microwaves and paper plates.
The kitchen is mostly done now. I think. Unless he comes up with something else. And to be honest, he did a great job. It's beautiful. I truly love it.
My livingroom is still ripped apart and my fireplace has a naked, forlorn look. Steve has declared that he's *taking a break from home improvement projects*. I take this to mean the fireplace will be done sometime around June. But I can live with that after the kitchen drama.
And to think this all started from one little, agreed upon center island weekend project.
I love him. I love hims so much...I want to strangle him.
A man and his tools,....what better way of showing his wife he loves her,....
...
...
just think of all of the poor woman out therewhose husbands could care less,,....
OMG... I must be married to Steve, too! That's life with Matt! I just love this part:
Steve has declared that he's *taking a break from home improvement projects*. I take this to mean the fireplace will be done sometime around June.
Ask me how long I have been waiting for the fan unit to go into my powder room. Matt got distracted from trying to rewire the bad wiring job to our gas fireplace, which requires drilling through 2 layers of brick and the beam in the basement, which required a drill bit 5 feet long... no joke! And guess where we bought it... Yup! Lowes! Through no fault of his own, the job only took 3 days to do... mind you, he said it should only take a few hours.
I so understand when you say:I love him. I love hims so much...I want to strangle him.
Great story, Pat!
Perrie & Lone....
It sort of makes me want to pull some sort of over the top, female thing on him. But something that he will end up liking in the end.
I'm thinking curtains. I will take all of the curtains down. Every single one. We will live in a fish bowl for roughly a month. He won't be able to walk around in boxers anymore. He will have to skitter from the hallway to the kitchen when he is less than presentable so the neighbors don't see him.
If he is scratching his crotch, or pulling a wedgie out...I will remind him that the neighbors might be watching.
As soon as he has reached the brink of sanity...I will install lovely curtains and give him his privacy back.
Look on the bright side. I'm a construction worker and I NEVER work on stuff around the house unless it's completely busted! Drives Alicia crazy!
"I do it for work babe, not for fun.", just doesn't seem to placate her the way I hoped it would.
Stop your bitchin' or do it yourself.
;^)
LOL
It reminds me of when I made a request to my husband to hang cabinets in the laundry room. I was tired of looking at the junk on the shelves.
After choosing the cabinets and looking at them in their boxes for two months...hubby had some time off and declared he would put the cabinets up as I left for work. 9 hours later I arrived home and pulled in the driveway...opened the garage door and before I could pull in out comes hubby looking like he could attack the world. The front of his jeans were wet...and I thought, oh oh...he's either hit a pipe or a power line and wet himself. It isn't too late to just back out and leave. Being the 'good wife' I pulled in and asked what was wrong. He growled words that I'd never heard before and I can cuss like a sailor. Said he was going to buy some copper pipe to fix what he had drilled into. (The builders decided to put the pipping in with an L instead of straight.)
He returned an hour later and welded the new copper tubing in. He did a great job and the cabinets looked spectacular! No more staring at junk. Then he showed me a case that contained all kinds of expensive power tools. I asked which tools he needed to fix the pipe or hang the cabinets. He responded, "None of them...I bought them to make me feel better."
LMAO
So...if she whips out her wallet what kind of a discount will you give her?
...we....barter....
Bullseye!
The more I think about this, the more I like the idea. He will be forced to change his clothes in the master closet. He will have to strip naked from INSIDE the shower and toss his clothing out.
This will be fun. (insert sinister giggle here)
HA! Great story! And I can relate to the above line. When Steve was installing the sink from hell, he came up with some truly comical new swear words.
Bless your heart! I understand, more than I can say!
I lived through the major remodeling of my home years ago, while trying to survive in the house. At one point, you could wash your hands in the bathroom sink on the second floor and peer down, through the kitchen below into the basement-- it was like living in a bombed out house.
I'm so glad you survived! We've got to get started on updating things too, and UGH... I dread it!
Take care!
Great story! My hubby is like that too, he is never satisfied with someone else's work, so I have been his assistant while he installed kitchen countertops, remodeled the bathroom, painted, sheet-rocked, built a fence, deck, installed a dog door and added shelves and a storage loft to a new shed. For a while, I was considering just depositing my paycheck on account at Lowes, (I think the truck could auto-pilot itself there!) Men do love their projects, don't they?
Well... I'm the Steve in our relationship... I never stop home improvements. In fact it is really hurting me right now that we are renting... I seriously want to do some tile work so bad that I have offered to help my coworkers redo their houses.
We went and looked at a house to buy today and I thought I died and went to heaven... the basement is totally stripped and in great condition, the place needs so many things done to it. I convinced my husband to submit an offer, but I have very little hope of getting it since the housing market out here is super hot.
What's Steve's email address? I'd like to suggest that perhaps the colour of the floor doesn't go so well with the new counter tops, so maybe he can find some matching flooring at a good price.
(just kidding)
Hug him. My late husband, also Steve, did everything himself when we first married. Tearing down walls, installing tile, flooring, carpeting, etc. The only thing he ever "farmed out" was electricity. Said he liked frying, but not himself. Some of the best times we ever had were working together on the house. On the flip side, the closest we ever came to divorce was hanging wallpaper.
Pick your battles and remember, all those projects of his will eventually be done, THEN you can come up with projects of your own
Not a court in the country that would find you guilty. Just say you stood your ground and his throaat ran into your hands.
Grrrr.....
Get your butt over here and work on my fireplace! He's already talking about DIFFERENT stuff he's going to do when it warms up outside.
A couple I know wanted to sell their house and decided to get it show-ready. The first thing they did? Hired a couple of guys to come over and either fix or tear out all of the *home improvement* projects the husband had attempted over the years.
I'm not. Well, I sort of am. But not really. It's confusing.