How Far Out on a Limb Would You Go For a Friend or Relative?

I wouldn't lie for anyone Nona. To me, that isn't a sign of good friendship, because no good friend would ever burden you in that way.

An organ, money, time, those are things I am willing to give. 

An organ, money, time, those are things I am willing to give. 

Perrie, that speaks volumes about the kind of person you are, and I'm glad to know such a person!!

Woodie, I always thought that you would go" above and beyond the call of duty"!

Friends are treasures...

My response only applies if I were put under oath in court in which case a lie would endanger me to become incarcerated.  If the close friend or relative were a person who would put you in the position of becoming liable for committing perjury, by asking you to do perjure yourself, then that person is attempting to absolve themselves of facing the consequences of their wrongdoing and would be trying to impose their being penalized onto you, and in that circumstance I would not do it - even if it were my best friend or my wife or my brother or my parents. If they did not ask you to perjure yourself, then they must not expect you to do it or blame you if you did not volunteer to do it. A person would be a fool to voluntarily commit perjury.

You might say I don't intend to become a Sydney Carton from Dickens' Tale of Two Cities.

However, nothing wrong in telling little white lies (not in court or being under oath) in order not to hurt someone's feelings, or to protect a friend or relative from unwarranted danger.

I agree Buzz!  Sometimes, that little white lie, greases the wheels of civilization-- you can tell the truth, but it isn't always necessary to tell the whole truth...  Example:  Love your skirt!  It is a hideous color, isn't it?

One can stick to the truth, and still not answer questions.

Distraction can be a valuable tool indeed.

This is an extreme example, but the situation wasn't a normal one.

Once I was involved in a field operation to rescue operatives in a war zone where there was ethnic cleaning (genocide) committed by the government.

Our objective was to extricate native operatives who did things for our side. They were part of the group another tribe was killing off. Not just soldiers. The enemy was butchering women, children. the elderly the infirm etc. un addition to opposing combat soldiers.  

We drilled holes in the bottom of caskets for air. They got in and we sealed the caskets. They were already in the back of a flat bed truck.

At a border, we were stopped by armed guards. They demanded to know what was our cargo, where it was headed and why were we traveling so late at night.

Each of my responses was true, but never answered their questions. 

I advised them that in my religion it is customary to intern a body within 24 hours of demise, with the exception of the Sabbath. It is also religious law for us that a body should be buried in the cemetery nearest where they were born and grew up. We were pulling an all night roadie to arrive at our destination within a 24 hour time frame. It is important for us to treat the deceased with dignity, so they can transit from this world to the next in as much peace, grace, style and decorum as we can provide. Of all the commandments we can follow one of the highest calling is to bury the dead within the guidelines of our religious heritage. Why?

Of all the good deeds we can do, this is the one which we do not want anyone to do for us. We visit and tend to the sick, comfort the mourning, give charity. provide shelter, food, clothing, and work for others. We would not mind if such problems befall us now if others take us in that way.

We bury the dead because it is the last thing we can do for them in this plain of existence that they need done, but cannot do themselves. We do hope that no one will reciprocate now or any time soon, as that entails our moving on before our time.  

They let us through without checking the coffins contents. Possibly just to get me to shut up.

Nothing I told them was false.  

I also never told them the bodies in the coffins were live ones who are not of my religion. That they are enemies of their state who wanted to liquidate them.

Not sure if that is lying. It certainly wasn't telling all the truth, or answering any of their questions.

Enoch.    

Wow, dear Enoch!  That was completely an impressive show of telling the truth, but not the whole truth.  And a perfect example of sometimes, it is best to not tell the whole truth!

In court is a different matter entirely-- and a lot of times, they don't want to hear the whole truth.

BRAVO!

However, nothing wrong in telling little white lies (not in court or being under oath) in order not to hurt someone's feelings, or to protect a friend or relative from unwarranted danger.

I agree 100%

I was just thinking about this two weeks ago.  We had a band contest at a high school near Eastern KY University, (actually across the street), which was closed due to a terrorist threat.  I tried to prepare myself for what might happen, and what could I do.  Would I have the guts to say, Take me, instead of him/her?  I was trying to steel myself for that very thing, just in case.

I don't honestly know what I would do, in a life or death situation-- but I HOPE I would say, Take me, not her/him.  Lying under oath?  I would have to tell the truth.  I would HAVE to tell the truth, because I'm not smart enough to lie and get away with it.

I would do the best I could to help.  Sometimes, my best isn't good enough, no matter how hard I try.

RW       It will only come back to you ten fold.      That is so true!!

Dowser   A little "white lie" sometimes is the kindest thing  to do, but when it's something serious...NO WAY!!

 it seems like the replies are al out of order....sigh,   (maybe it's just me) oh well, I'm doing my best to reply to everyone I'm sure it's something I'm doing or not doing..it will work out one way or another.

Nona, dear friend, it you use the reply button under the posting, you can keep tings in better order, I hope!

I must admit, when I ask my husband if this sweater makes me look fat, I certainly expect him to lie and tell me it doesn't.  That is his husbandly duty!  It is my wifely duty to say, MY, that was a good shot, when he misses in skeet shooting, too.     I mean, that's what husbands are for, to keep one's spirits up... And visa versa!

For the most part, I agree-- when it is something serious, one should tell the truth.  But the way you tell the truth is very important.  I had a friend ask me if her husband was cheating with another mutual friend.  Well, I had to weigh my words carefully.  Did I know, for sure, that he was cheating?  No.  Had I seen the two in uncompromising circumstances?  Not really, they just seemed a bit friendly.  So I said, "They seem to be a bit too friendly to one another, but not that I know of."  The truth.  

Weeks later, I learned that yes, they were cheating.  But I had told the truth-- they seemed friendly, but I knew nothing, for sure.  My friend was suspicious, so it came as no surprise that he was...  I was utterly dismayed and completely, you-could-knock-me-down-with-a-feather, flummoxed!  If I had said that yes, he was, based on his apparent friendliness with this woman, who was also my friend, what kind of friend would I have been?  I really hadn't seen anything definitive.  What if I said they were, and they weren't?

Sometimes, it is best to say nothing.  I could have said, I don't know for sure, but it looks odd-- and no matter what, I'll still be your friend.  Sometimes, no matter what you say, it's wrong, and ends up hurting the one person that you care about...  Sometimes, there are people you can't be truthful with, because they end up using the truth to bash you over the head.  Sometimes, the exact truth can be so hurtful, you can't...  So, in general, telling the exact truth can be a sticky wicket.

When your mother looks you in the eye and asks, Have you ever hit your brother before?  What do you say?  Yes or no?  I learned from a fairly early age, to keep my mouth shut.  There's enough trouble in the world without going out and borrowing some...

I was six years old, when my father introduced me to his "girlfriend".  Daddy dropped me off at the house and went out for supper with the woman, telling Mama that he was going back to the base.  My mother questioned me very closely about where I had been with Daddy.  Finally, I said, yes, I had met Daddy's girl friend.  We packed the car and left that night.  That devastating turn of events taught me well.  

I must admit, when I ask my husband if this sweater makes me look fat, I certainly expect him to lie and tell me it doesn't.

We just got back for a 12 day cruise to Mexico. We got the Ultimate Dining Package ($110 a person, but worth it!) that gives you unlimited nights of dining at the ship's specialty restaurants. Now it's not a t-shirt that makes me look fat, it's my fat that makes me look fat!

LOL, Randy!  

As time passes, and I look more and more like Humpty Dumpty, I expect him to lie-- it's an illusion that I'm still pretty, and I treasure that illusion.  By that same token, I always tell him that to me, he is the handsomest man in the world!  And he is-- not a lie!  To me, handsome is mostly on the inside, anyway...  

I already swore I was going to get rid of the extra 10lbs, just before I ate 3 apple turnovers! LOl! What the hell, there's always tomorrow! Or next week!

I know...  I have whole days where I eat nothing but lunch meat.  Sigh!  It is most unsatisfying!  I've lost a grand total of 6 pounds...  Only 20 more to go!  UGH.

Bowls of whole grain cereal with no sugar. As much as you want. The pounds will fall off! Oh and low fat milk.

Sounds great!

           it's my fat that makes me look fat

No two ways about it, that was hilarious.

Nona, dear friend, it you use the reply button under the posting, you can keep tings in better order, I hope!

I must be doing something wrong.  I hit the reply button and still ended up here....sigh

I'll keep trying......Thanks Dear Dowser!!!♥♥

OOps...I just figured it out....( I think )

I love you, Nona!  It is confusing at first because when you nit the reply, it shoots you up to the top, and you don't know where it lands exactly!  You've got enough to worry about right now!

((( Dowser )))     I think I got it figured out now....we'll see.....sigh

If I loved them, anything short of what would get me sent to prison. I have other obligations to other people too.

Except for mi a more Perrie! No boundaries then Of course!

I take the 5th.

20 years old single malt.

Don Julio, Blanco. No salt. No lime. Salt and lime are for non-deserving gringos.

Lying under oath would be foolhardy in the extreme considering the penalty attached to it, even if one could dismiss the moral liability. As others here have said, anyone who would ask or expect  you to do so in light of the consequences should you be caught, would not be worth the risk.

Been to hell and back on this one. 

People end up doing all sorts things for love, or family, or greed, or fear, or all of the above. So I don't know what to say except until you've been in them moccasins, you honestly don't know what you would do.

All of these are VERY interesting!   I won't be around much  for quite a while, as I have to take hubby to Dr. appts. but, I will pop in when I can.

I remember when I was a teen, my mom told me "If you ever get put in jail, I'll not bond you out.  You are on your own".  I believed her, too.

If one of my friends or relatives committed a crime, they're on their own.  Perjuring my self for someone would only serve to convince them that they have a way out of their difficulties.

I cant even lie convincingly to protect myself, I know I would crack under the pressure of being in a courtroom.  I would probably start babbling and tell the prosecution more than they even asked for and the accused would end up in even more trouble.

Would you be commit perjury in court for a close friend or relative ,knowing that if you got caught you could go to prison?

No

Please let us know if you would OR if you have committed perjury for a friend or a relative, and why.

No

Think, somewhere, there is a saying - "I am not my brother's keeper".

Holds true for me.

All of my friends and family/relatives know - you make your bed, you lie in it (pun not intended).

All of my friends and family/relatives know - you make your bed, you lie in it (pun not intended).

LOL !!!

 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is Abel your brother?" And he said, "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?"

That's where the saying came from....

Well there is spouse privilege so spouses don't have to testify against each other. But not so for parents except for four states. The article I read made this statement but didn't say which four states. I tried to find other sources but couldn't.

Anyway in an ideal situation family can't be forced to testify against each other. So that leaves 'friends". No, I would not perjure myself. And "no" also to your second question.