Sydney Aiello, a Parkland school shooting survivor, kills herself
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Sydney Aiello, a student who survived the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Parkland, Florida, and graduated last year took her life over the weekend, officials said.
She was 19.
Aiello had been close friends with Meadow Pollack, one of the victims of the Feb. 14, 2018, mass shooting at the school that left 14 students and three staff members dead.
"Beautiful Sydney with such a bright future was taken from us way too soon," Pollack's brother, Hunter, wrote on Twitter.
Aiello died from a gunshot wound to the head, according to Heather A. Gálvez, with the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office.
"The death of Sydney Aiello is tragic, shocking and heartbreaking, and surely at least in significant part the result of the ripple effect of the MSD shooting," a statement from Pollack's family said.
A GoFundMe account set up for Aiello's family said the teenager's passions were cheerleading, yoga "and brightening up the days of others."
Aiello, who graduated from Stoneman Douglas in 2018, was intending to go into the medical field, the site said.
But her mother, Cara, told CBS Miami that her daughter was struggling with her college classes because classrooms now scared her.
Cara Aiello said her daughter suffered from survivor's guilt and had recently been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Dr. Victor Schwartz, chief medical officer at The Jed Foundation , a nonprofit that focuses on monitoring teenagers' and young adults' emotional health and preventing suicide, said that "exposure to death around you does to some small degree raise the risk of suicide."
"It stands to reason that there is some increased risk around the survivor guilt," he said.
"Parkland students have done an incredible job being out there and advocating for gun safety , but the sadness and distress are still there. I’m sure many of these students are still struggling with symptoms that look like PTSD," he said. "And how could they not be?"
He added that changes, like going off to college or getting jobs, as many Stoneman Douglas survivors are facing, can be especially challenging for young adults who have gone through trauma.
"They and their families and support systems need to be aware of potential risk times," such as transitional periods, family illnesses and anniversaries of the tragedy, he said.
Cindy Arenberg Seltzer, the president and CEO of the Children's Services Council of Broward County , told NBC News that " a great deal of trauma services have been made available" to Stoneman Douglas survivors.
Seltzer said the variety of resources, through both the school district and outside agencies, have in some cases made it difficult for victims to know exactly where to turn to, but information can be found through Broward 211 .
In an effort to further help the community after the shooting, Seltzer said, the Children Services Council also recently opened Eagle's Haven , a wellness center geared specifically toward Stoneman Douglas students, faculty and parents.
Schwartz said that those close to people who have experienced trauma should keep an eye out for sleep and concentration issues, erratic moods, increased despair, compulsive habits and substance use.
Loved ones should monitor victims and encourage them to seek help but be careful not to treat them like "walking time bombs," he said.
"You want to be a little bit more vigilant about what they're feeling and what their moods are and how they're functioning," Schwartz advised. "That just makes sense."
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255, text TALK to 741741 or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources.
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Parkland was not some random shooting for me and for those of us who knew the late Jonathan P of NT. His wife is one of the many Parkland teachers who lived through that terrible day, only to have to undergo more grief with the unexpected death of Jon within weeks of the Parkland shooting.
The human heart is a complicated thing. How different people deal with grief and trauma is always different and unpredictable. My heart goes out to Sydney's family, who must have felt relief that their daughter had survived a shooting only to die of a gunshot by her own hand. Life's cruel irony.
You can read Jonathan's personal feelings about the Parkland shooting HERE
A/noon. Once again the world has become just that little bit darker..The tragic loss of a young and vibrant soul. At times it makes you wonder if it can get any darker. This last week has been so grim...but hopefully light does prevail. My Maori friend in NZ sent me a message the other night. Her sons girl friend, her sister, had a baby that dreadful night in Christchurch. With all the chaos, confusion, intense grief and angst she refused to go hospital. Her baby was born at home...Even in the darkest of times, a tiny ray of light does shine out. When I saw this story on Sydney here on our news a few hours ago... it was truly upsetting...The family and friends that are left behind, their grief must be truly overwhelming...For Sydney, the darkness proved to much, the pain to prolonged and the grief must have seemed endless...From a Land that shares your names sake Sydney..your pain has gone, your fears are now a laid and peace, perfect peace at last...Sleep well....
Hi Shona,
At least amidst all the grief in Christchurch, there was a wonderful new life born. Congrats to your friends family and to you!
I am not shocked at the grief in the aftermath. I am shocked by the lingering effects. I guess we never think about it. All I keep thinking about is that this family thought their daughter missed the bullets only to die by one at her own hand. The horror for them. Knowing that she was not well, but not knowing how badly. Just awful.
At least she is at peace now.... but way too soon. There had to be some signs that people around her missed or didn't take seriously in the days leading up to her death.
Suicide is a way of stopping the pain that nothing else can make go away. You become fixated on it. Your mind plays through it over and over again on how you're going to make that pain stop. You reach a point to where it becomes a singular simple act because you've done it a thousand times in your mind. People don't understand it maybe because either they have different coping methods, or have never had to face such things. In any case, those that survive her will also guilt themselves into thinking what they could have done different.
And in a way, the cycle continues.
I have read about people who have lived through a suicide attempt and it's a very mixed bag. Jumpers usually regret it the moment they make the leap. Pill takers 50/50. Some are actually very mad when they wake up. People involved in bodily harm (cutting, guns), it's a moment in time for many.
Here is an assortment of scholarly articles on this topic to anyone who is interested:
Unfortunately, I doubt that this is the last of the fallout from that horrible day. I would imagine that for most who were personally affected, it will never be over.
I think you are right, Good Sister. I guess we only notice when it is something truly horrific like this.
Heartbreaking. My son is a veteran and has dealt with PTSD and survivors guilt, it has taken a lot of work and therapy getting through it, and I know he still has things that trigger it. Those poor kids aren't equipped to deal with the fallout, and frankly neither is society. We don't do mental health very well. And this is not a problem that just goes away, it can hit at any time. I feel sick for that family.
Hi Lib,
I am so sorry about your son. It seems that those who have served our country, are still paying for it with their mental health. I wish you both luck on his recovery. You are right, that these kids are not ready to deal with an event like this. As for mental health, it is the only disease that people still make light of. They really don't get that it is a chronic disease, like any other disease. We need to wake up to that fact.
Thanks Perrie. He's been out about 10 years now and is doing well, but a couple of years ago another one of his 'brothers' lost his life and that triggered him, it was also the time of year multiple things and deaths had occurred, which added extra heaviness. It broke my heart. We are letting ourselves down because there just aren't enough resources for everything. Every time I think about that poor girl and her family I can't help but feel that pain, because I also know what that feels like. Sometimes I have to shut out the real world because its hard to hear all the things that are wrong.
I think given what you have and had gone through, it is very understandable.
I often reflect on our discussions over the years about our sons. Regardless of our differences, please know my thoughts and prayers are always with you and your son.
Thank you
I have a niece who tried to kill herself with pills about 6 years ago when she was 16. It was a very serious attempt and she was hospitalized for five days having hallucinations for the first few. She then had to be placed in an out of state home for disturbed girls for two years. Six years later she has just resumed seeing a therapist every week.
I have read that teenagers don't understand that suicide is permanent. They see it as a way of externalizing their pain or distress and also as a way to get help. Of course if the suicide is successful all of that is sadly moot.
This poor girl in Florida seems to have been experiencing survivors guilt. Why did her best friend die in the shooting instead of her? Perhaps she was too young or otherwise unprepared to understand that it is a question for which there is no answer.
There was a period in my life where shit was so bad that I didn’t much care if I was alive or dead. Now that I’m beyond those darker times, I can attest that just having experienced those feelings at all changes a person permanently. It’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s helped me grasp what is worth worrying about, versus what isn’t worth wasting time and energy over.
When I communicate with someone who fusses and agonizes over shallow crap, I know that they’ve never been in that mindset, and I feel a little sorry for them for not having a proper sense of what kinds of things really matter in this life. I feel very sorry for this girl and those who cared about her. In time, I think she would have become a much stronger person because of her experience, and would cringe at the thought of what she did.
I guess you could say, whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. You pulled yourself through and it made you a stronger person (if I am reading what you meant right). Glad you pulled through your dark period and it had a positive outcome.
Of course there are some out there who make everything into drama, even "shallow crap". It is hard to feel sorry for them. And then there are those who suffer quietly till it's too late, like this young lady.
I have never heard that before. I will have to do some research.
I think it is more along the lines of the young mind. Where they don't really care nor do they completely understand the overall ramifications.
I have always considered it a very selfish thing to do.
It's possible that they might see their current crisis as permanent.
That sounds more like it.
"Loved ones should monitor victims and encourage them to seek help but be careful not to treat them like "walking time bombs," he said."
Maybe it's now time to do that ?
Not to be "insensitive" …. sort of …… But the "Shooters" seem to have had "Kid" gloves used on them too (according to reporting)...."BEFORE" disastrous things happened !
Neither is a time to try and "Protect" someone's "Feelings". The "Feelings" are the thing that is causing "THE PROBLEM" !
If you are saying that we need people to be proactive when it comes to mental health issues, I agree. It is still the great unknown in medicine sadly.
Yep !
They ARE ….. "Walking Time Bombs" …. to themselves and/or "OTHERS" !
You do know that most people who are mentally ill are not a danger to anyone. It's really not fair to say they are all walking time bombs. The majority are leading just very bleak lives, or are being treated.
We don't know that until they are made to get help !
How many times have we heard on the news ….. "They were such a good person" !
Sadly a tragedy within a tragedy.
sure is.
Unfortunately, today's kids are not ready for the real world. Mom's and Dad's have stepped in, knowingly/unknowingly, to protect them and keep them from harm's way to the point that the kids of today have become the "You owe me" generation.
Case in point. I married a wonderful woman from Venezuela who, at the time, had a 4 year old daughter, Audra asked me to "help" raise her in a way that would "prevent" surprises later in life. Well, I'm old school - raised in the 50's/60's and Audra is from the "Y" generation - her family had housekeepers and yard maintenance folks. All that meaning that Audra really didn't have to do anything such as household chores, etc..
Well, when the daughter reached the mid-teens, all of a sudden her five household chores "disappeared". When I asked Audra why the daughter wasn't helping around the house anymore, she said "well, I never had to do any of that when I was her age." Literally stunned, I reminded her of her household employees and she turned around and said that that's not important. Now, at 20, daughter is having difficulty in College and with her personal relationships because everything is "so hard".
Hmmmm - OK, Audra is a high school teacher with 168 students five days a week in 7 classes of Spanish I, II, III, and Medical Spanish. She'll come home just furious over some of the crap the students are doing - with all the calls from the student's parents wanting to know why Felix got a "C" when she had been told previously that Felix was skipping class, doesn't do his homework, calls the girls in the class "Bitch/Ho's" and, after being written up by Audra, the school dismisses it and says "oh, he's just a young boy growing up." Then there are many of the students who come from one/no parent, barely dressed, still high from last night's drugs/alcohol, 14/15/16/17/18 and pregnant and not knowing who the dad is.
And this is at one of the "better" schools in Southern NM. Audra knows this and is constantly trying to help the kids - but, she has forgotten the kid at home who is having the "come to Jesus" moments from real life.
Parents are "hands-off" parents - lack of discipline/spending time with their kids. Schools are "scared" of law suits. Drugs and alcohol are prevalent. Parents expect the schools/teachers to raise their kids 'cause they don't have time/patience/confidence/knowledge/support.
So, instead of "working with" the kids, the parents back off or get overly protective, such as Helo-parents, and just give in instead of giving direction.
True, that isn't happening in most households, but it is happening in far too many. Just look at the suicide rates of today's teens - where is the family - support - education - encouragement - and the strength of facing their convictions?
Maybe we should do something about a world in which children are shot in school, rather than blame children for not being tough enough to deal with being shot at in school.
He was blaming the parents for not preparing their kids for the real world, not blaming the kids.
Ok, then maybe we should do something about a world in which children get shot in school, rather than blame parents for not preparing their children to deal with being shot at in school.
As I see it, it's not that the children aren't tough enough. It's that the situation shouldn't exist. No child should have to recover from seeing her friends shot to death next to her in what should be a safe place.
I totally agree, IMO the shooters are a product of shitty parenting and the moral decay of society. America has become a moral cesspool.
I was friends with a girl that shot herself when I was about 16.
It destroyed the family and their friends.
It is always easy to lay blame.
I could say the opposite of you and say some parents are just blind to what their little darling is actually up to.
It is easy to blame the parent when some think their own can do no wrong.
It is no more a moral cesspool than it always has been.
One of my nephews committed suicide I'm well aware of what it does to a family
You're right some parents are blind to what their kids are doing or just don't give shit.
I can't speak to what happened in your family, but I know parents who have tried everything, and their kid fell through the rabbit hole. Mental illness is very hard to treat and no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, since people have such negative feelings about mental illness in general.
We baby boomers had parents that had grown up in the depression and went through a couple of wars. Those events I'm sure had quite a bit to do with how they raised their children. It was also very common to have a stay at home mother.
Those conditions are very different from what exists in most households today.
I was born in 1946 my mother was the only mom in my neighborhood that worked, but she was home within 1/2 hour after I got home from school and my dad was home when I left for school.
I was a latchkey kid and at the turn of the last century, most kids were, since their parents were working 12 hour shifts in factories. We all turned out OK for the most part. I do think that trauma played a big part of this. Also, our world is far more intense than it was when we were kids. I think that there is way too much stress and not enough awareness of this.
Second Parkland student survivor takes own life.
Now today, a parent of a Sandy Hook victim, apparently took hiw own life outside of the Newton Town Hall.
this story is still being investigated.