National Gigolo Day (Columbus Day)

  
By:  al Jizzerror  •  one week ago  •  53 comments


National Gigolo Day (Columbus Day)
Columbus managed to get Queen Isabel's family jewels.

Sponsored by group The Banned Played On

The Banned Played On


Today is Columbus Day.  The banks, post offices and schools are closed to "celebrate".

Butt Columbus did NOT discover America.  Columbus never made it to North America.  He crossed the Atlantic Ocean four times.  He was the first European to see the Bahamas and he landed on (and named) Hispaniola Island (where The Dominican Republic and Haiti are located).  He also made it to South and Central America.  While on Hispaniola he kidnaped a woman and let his crew rape her. 

After an attack by more than 2,000 Indians, Columbus had an underling, Alonso de Ojeda, bring him three Indian leaders, whom Columbus then ordered publicly beheaded. Ojeda also ordered his men to grab another Indian, bring him to the middle of his village, and "'cut off his ears' in retribution for the Indians' failing to be helpful to the Spaniards when fording a stream.

"The Indians destroyed their stores of bread so that neither they nor the invaders would be able to eat it. They plunged off cliffs, they poisoned themselves with roots, and they starved themselves to death. Oppressed by the impossible requirement to deliver tributes of gold, the Indians were no longer able to tend their fields, or care for their sick, children, and elderly. They had given up and committed mass suicide to avoid being killed or captured by Christians, and to avoid sharing their land with them, their fields, groves, beaches, forests, and women: the future of their people.

While paling in comparison to his crimes against Caribs and Taino Indians, Columbus's rule over Spanish settlers was also brutal. He ordered at least a dozen Spaniards "to be whipped in public, tied by the neck, and bound together by the feet" for trading gold for food to avoid starvation. He ordered a woman's tongue cut out for having "spoken ill of the Admiral and his brothers."

Another woman was "stripped and placed on the back of a donkey … to be whipped" as punishment for falsely claiming to be pregnant. He "ordered Spaniards to be hanged for stealing bread".

He even ordered the ears and nose cut off one miscreant, who was also whipped, shackled, and banished from the island. He ordered a cabin boy's hand nailed in public to the spot where he had pulled a trap from a river and caught a fish. Whippings for minor infractions occurred with alarming frequency. Columbus ordered one wrongdoer to receive a hundred lashes — which could be fatal — for stealing sheep, and another for lying about the incident. An unlucky fellow named Juan Moreno received a hundred lashes for failing to gather enough food for Columbus's pantry.

This one he admitted himself in a letter to Doña Juana de la Torre , a friend of the Spanish queen: "There are plenty of dealers who go about looking for girls; those from nine to ten are now in demand, and for all ages a good price must be paid."  

Benjamin Keen, a historian of the Spanish conquest of the Americas, noted that multiple sources confirmed accounts of "exhausted Indian carriers, chained by the neck, whose heads the Spaniards severed from their bodies so they might not have to stop to untie them."

https://www.vox.com/2014/10/13/6957875/christopher-columbus-murderer-tyrant-scoundrel

Columbus started the genocide of indigenous people, forced conversion to Christianity, the slave trade in the New World and child sex trafficking. 

So what did Columbus achieve?  Columbus could not finance his adventures.  He travelled all over Europe butt he could not get the funding he needed.  Columbus managed to get Queen Isabels family jewels.  He must have been an extremely successful gigolo.

There were lots of people in America centuries before Columbus was born.  Where did they come from?  They crossed into Alaska from Asia using the Bering Land Bridge.  They were the Clovis and Pre-Clovis people who eventually populated North and South America.  The first Europeans to reach North America were probably the Vikings.

Let's celebrate " Indigenous People's Day " instead of "Columbus Day".

Biden declares October 11 Indigenous Peoples' Day and says restoring national monuments is the 'easiest thing I've ever done so far as President'


Morgan Keith

Sat, October 9, 2021, 12:20 AM · 2 min read

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A demonstrator marches to Faneuil Hall with other protesters while participating in the Indigenous Peoples Day rally and march in Boston on Oct. 10, 2020. Photo by Erin Clark/The Boston Globe via Getty Image

    • President Joe Biden declared October 11 Indigenous Peoples' Day.

    • Biden acknowledged in a Columbus Day proclamation that European explorers harmed Native Americans.

    • On Friday, the Biden administration restored protections for two national monuments in Utah.

Following years of campaigning by Native Americans for federal recognition, President Joe Biden issued the first presidential proclamation of Indigenous Peoples' Day, which he declared would be observed on October 11 in honor of America's first inhabitants.

"Since time immemorial, American Indians, Alaska Natives, and Native Hawaiians have built vibrant and diverse cultures - safeguarding land, language, spirit, knowledge, and tradition across the generations," a White House proclamation release from Biden said .

Although Indigenous Peoples' Day will be celebrated on the same date as Columbus Day, Biden acknowledged the atrocities inflicted on Indigenous communities by European explorers in another proclamation and urged the country not to try and bury "shameful episodes of our past."

"For Native Americans, western exploration ushered in a wave of devastation: violence perpetrated against Native communities, displacement and theft of Tribal homelands, the introduction and spread of disease, and more," a White House proclamation from Biden said. "On this day, we recognize this painful past and recommit ourselves to investing in Native communities, upholding our solemn and sacred commitments to Tribal sovereignty, and pursuing a brighter future centered on dignity, respect, justice, and opportunity for all people."

Biden also announced Friday that his administration will restore protections for the Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments in Utah, as well two monuments in New England.

"This may be the easiest thing I've ever done so far as President," Biden said Friday during a speech outside the White House.

Former President Donald Trump had previously revoked protections for thousands of acres across the four monuments, Indian Country Today reported , which opened them up to mining, commercial fishing, and other developments.

"Today's announcement, it's not just about national monuments. It's about this administration centering the voices of Indigenous people and affirming the shared stewardship of this landscape with tribal nations," said Secretary of the Interior Deb Haaland , a citizen of the Laguna Pueblo nation.

https://news.yahoo.com/biden-declares-october-11-indigenous-042055347.html


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al Jizzerror
Sophomore Guide
1  author  al Jizzerror    one week ago

Let's celebrate Indigenous Peoples' Day.

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Senior Silent
1.1  SteevieGee  replied to  al Jizzerror @1    one week ago

Agreed.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
1.2  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  al Jizzerror @1    one week ago
 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.1  Kavika   replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1.2    one week ago

This is probably one of the biggest contributions. 

American Indian Influence on the American

Pharmacopeia. 

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2.2  Split Personality  replied to  Kavika @1.2.1    one week ago

Fascinating.  Reminds us of going to the pharmacy for a jolt of Coca Cola which contained cocaine.

CMTSU

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.3  devangelical  replied to  Split Personality @1.2.2    one week ago

my peruvian relatives are very big proponents of the health benefits of coca tea consumption, but are appalled at the price for it here. in peru coca tea is almost free.

back in the early 60's my aunt L drank a lot of coca cola in the little nickel bottles. as a kid, my sisters and I were always thrilled to visit her because drinking a soda was a very special treat. we were visiting one day and suddenly the coca cola delivery truck pulled up. I watched with total amazement as the driver wheeled in a stack of coke cases into the garage. for the next 60 years I have bragged about it.

 
 
 
r.t..b...
PhD Participates
1.2.4  r.t..b...  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1.2    one week ago

Good list.

How about putting a deep understanding of their environment, respect for the abundance it offers, and the cultural significance that inextricably binds us as number on that list. 

 
 
 
1stwarrior
Professor Guide
1.3  1stwarrior  replied to  al Jizzerror @1    one week ago

384

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.3.1  Kavika   replied to  1stwarrior @1.3    one week ago

LOL, gotta steal that one

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2  Kavika     one week ago

I'm in and already celebrating.

The rest of the frucking whiners are on another article complaining about it and praising Columbus. 

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Guide
2.1  author  al Jizzerror  replied to  Kavika @2    one week ago
The rest of the frucking whiners are on another article complaining about it and praising Columbus. 

Ha!

If they cum here to troll, we can laugh at their ignorance. 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2.1.1  Kavika   replied to  al Jizzerror @2.1    one week ago

I will be my pleasure, that and kicking their asses.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Guide
2.1.2  author  al Jizzerror  replied to  Kavika @2.1.1    one week ago

jrSmiley_81_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
2.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Kavika @2    one week ago
The rest of the frucking whiners are on another article complaining about it and praising Columbus. 

Of course they are. The same ones that don't give a damn that Trump has publicly, on several forums, that he'd like to "date" his daughter. What idiocy. Well, I guess holding a bible upside down absolves all that lust for his own. Christians, my ass. 

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
3  JohnRussell    one week ago

Yes, but remember, Columbus whipped , raped, and murdered the natives for their own good. 

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4  Ender    one week ago

Is that a picture of Columbus at the top?

My Lord he was an ugly fuck.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
4.1  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Ender @4    one week ago
My Lord he was an ugly fuck.

First double nostril expulsion of the day.  Coffee, with an over-sized portion of cinnamon-vanilla creamer. 

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
4.1.1  devangelical  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4.1    one week ago
Coffee, with an over-sized portion of cinnamon-vanilla creamer.

oh, baby...

french vanilla for me, but I'm always willing to experiment...

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
4.1.2  cobaltblue  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4.1    one week ago
First double nostril expulsion of the day.

Oh my! I am SOOOO accustomed  to you being Our Lady Of Perpetual Stellar Manners. I've never seen a double nostril expulsion from you. You've always been the ladylike sort. Never both nostrils, never a lean when passing wind. You singlehandedly gave Buttheads class. 

Love you, girl! Missed you too! 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
4.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  cobaltblue @4.1.2    one week ago

Hey Girl, good to see you back with us again. jrSmiley_15_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
4.1.4  cobaltblue  replied to  Raven Wing @4.1.3    one week ago
Hey Girl, good to see you back with us again

Thanks, Raven! It's good to see all the ladies I have had girl crushes on, and that includes you. I'm straight as can be, but damn ... intelligence combined with wit, talent and a well-developed sense of humor gets me every time, men or women. 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
4.1.5  Raven Wing  replied to  cobaltblue @4.1.4    one week ago

Thanks Cobalt. I am one of your female admirers and have a very high regard and respect for you as well. You have been sorely missed here on NT and it is so good to have you back. jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

My feeling is, "If ya ain't got no wit, you ain't gonna fit". (heeheehee)

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5  Trout Giggles    one week ago

I bet not all of this is satire. A lot of this is true shit, isn't it, Al?

Hell yeah...let's celebrate Indigenous Peoples Day!

 
 
 
1stwarrior
Professor Guide
5.1  1stwarrior  replied to  Trout Giggles @5    one week ago

Remind Mr. Giggles to get up a little earlier for his java so he can celebrate:-)

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  1stwarrior @5.1    one week ago

He's celebrating all right....he just left for the fishing camp

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.2  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.1    one week ago

a likely story...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @5.1.2    one week ago

My sister just sent me a photo of the campsite. It's right on the river. Wanna see it?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.4  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.3    one week ago

your sister was invited? sure, show me the picture...

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
5.1.5  cobaltblue  replied to  devangelical @5.1.4    one week ago
sure, show me the picture...

Don't bother, Giggles. Dev's the worst cyberboyfriend ever. I tried to tame him but convos eventually turned to breast pumps. Or was that d!ck pumps. It was pump something, but it never involved giving me jewelry. ["Pearl necklace ... heh, heh, heh" was the closest I got.]

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.6  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @5.1.4    one week ago

She's not in the picture

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.7  Trout Giggles  replied to  cobaltblue @5.1.5    one week ago

It sure is good to see you back here giving Dev what for

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.2  Kavika   replied to  Trout Giggles @5    one week ago
A lot of this is true shit, isn't it, Al?

It all true, Trout.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
5.2.1  cobaltblue  replied to  Kavika @5.2    one week ago
It all true, Trout.

Isn't that the saddest thing to say? 

Love you, Kavika. 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.2.2  Kavika   replied to  cobaltblue @5.2.1    one week ago

It's extremely sad and what is even sadder is that he is held up as a hero to a great part of America.

Luv ya back, Cobalt

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Guide
5.4  author  al Jizzerror  replied to  Trout Giggles @5    one week ago
A lot of this is true shit, isn't it, Al?
Good satire contains elements of "true shit".  There's lots of truth in this article.  Columbus was a horrible human being so I edited out some of the humor (the stuff about his gigantic penis because he was a gigantic dick).
 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.4.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  al Jizzerror @5.4    one week ago

I know he was a horrible human beiing. I just didn't realize how much

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.4.2  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.4.1    one week ago

nice bona fides, he seemed like a real shoe in for the GOP in 2024. too bad he's fucking dead.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
5.4.3  cobaltblue  replied to  devangelical @5.4.2    one week ago
too bad he's fucking dead.

They're all fuckin' dead inside. Unless you're an underage girl. [Yeah, I'm talking to you, Gaetz...]

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
5.4.4  Hallux  replied to  cobaltblue @5.4.3    one week ago

Good thing you are in Texas ... I'd be "fucking dead" by now.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
5.4.5  cobaltblue  replied to  Hallux @5.4.4    one week ago
I'd be "fucking dead" by now.

I'd hate it if you were fucking dead. I'd be sure that you were fucking exhausted though. Good to see you again. I love seeing you almost nude in bed. However, I could do without all the tubes, bandages and drip medications all over your body. I can't tell you how happy I am that you are my rude, crude totally hot dude again despite the health scare of some time back. 

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
5.4.6  Hallux  replied to  cobaltblue @5.4.5    one week ago

The gates to both Heaven and Hell had No Vacancy signs posted and Limbo was run by a bimbo.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
6  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    one week ago

If this is all true, then it's official:  I hate that horrid little man.  If it's not all true, then I think I'll hate him anyway, just for shits and giggles.

How could his heinous deeds and behavior have been concealed for so long?     

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Guide
6.1  author  al Jizzerror  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @6    one week ago

Unfortunately schools don't do a good job of teaching accurate history.

Critical Race Theory examines the disparity between real history and the sanitized BS being taught in school.  Butt, contrary to what the Retrumplicans say, Critical Race Theory is NOT taught in K-12 public schools.

 
 
 
1stwarrior
Professor Guide
6.2  1stwarrior  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @6    one week ago

Pssst - better watch how you use that term "giggles" ya know - I know a person in Arkansas who might get . . . .  - just say'in

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

'specially since they lost to Ol' Miss this weekend.

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Veronica
Junior Guide
6.2.1  Veronica  replied to  1stwarrior @6.2    one week ago
'specially since they lost to Ol' Miss this weekend.

Ouch.... that smarts....jrSmiley_54_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.2.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  1stwarrior @6.2    one week ago

I really don't care about the Razorbacks. I'm not from Arkansas just a transplant. So this morning when I heard the sports news...I said back to the TV...you really didn't expect to win, did you?

 
 
 
1stwarrior
Professor Guide
6.2.3  1stwarrior  replied to  Trout Giggles @6.2.2    one week ago

jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_12_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
6.2.4  Split Personality  replied to  1stwarrior @6.2.3    one week ago

Conversely, I'm warming up to most Texas teams except the Cowboys.

Great Red River contest game, bad for the State Fair. the Sooners  squeaked one out on the Longhorns, AGAIN.

My wife is from California and works in a TeXass law firm, downtown.

she said good, fuck them all, all the lawyers will be quiet tomorrow for a change.

Aggies had the bragging rights for once.

 
 
 
1stwarrior
Professor Guide
6.2.5  1stwarrior  replied to  Split Personality @6.2.4    one week ago

And they flat deserved it.

My two favorite teams are Miss State and anybody that beats Bama.

 
 
 
cobaltblue
Sophomore Participates
7  cobaltblue    one week ago

Great article ... informative, al. I'll bet this has enlightened some people and perhaps some folks have changed their position on the rapist and torturer. You've taught me tons about changing positions. 

 
 
 
Hallux
Sophomore Principal
7.1  Hallux  replied to  cobaltblue @7    one week ago
You've taught me tons about changing positions

Sounds like a sultry mix of Karma and Kama.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Guide
7.2  author  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @7    one week ago
You've taught me tons about changing positions.

When I was in college a professor from India was discussing Kama Sutra.  He said, "How many sexual positions can you name?"

An excited guy in the back raised his hand and yelled, "seventy-five!"

The instructor asked the beautiful coed in the front row, "how many can you name?"

She seemed nervous and she said, "well, there's missionary position, you know, man on top of woman...."

The loudmouth in the back row shouted, "seventy-six!"

800

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Sophomore Guide
7.3  author  al Jizzerror  replied to  cobaltblue @7    one week ago

I noticed on TWC that highs are in the 90s in Texas.

I blame you for being so hot.

I know you're cool so try wearing something a little less revealing until the temperature goes down.

 
 
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