Man caught stealing eggs from Loblaws charged with theft over $5,000
Category: SatireVia: hallux • 6 days ago • 17 comments
By: GARY LIM - The Beaverton
VANCOUVER — Police working with Loblaws store security have managed to foil a brazen daytime robbery of the Grandview Highway Superstore location, the suspect almost making off with two dozen eggs valued at approximately $6,500.
The suspect, identified as 45-year-old Emil Durand, has been charged one count of grand larceny.
According to store security officer Geoff Michelson, the heist showed great planning with Durand knowing exactly where in the store his target was located, the Dairy and Eggs section, and when it would be accessible, normal store hours.
“He knew exactly what he was here for, walking right past several lower ticket items including a $15 head of iceberg lettuce and rent-to-own pack of President’s Choice® chicken breasts.”
Surveillance footage reveals that the suspect had visited the location many times prior in order to case the joint, each time purchasing a small amount of food to avoid suspicion.
“It’s very fortunate, we were able to intercept these luxury goods before they made it onto the streets,” said Michelson, referring to the 24 extra-large brown eggs. “Once they’ve had their barcodes sanded-off they’re basically untraceable.”
Police also suspect that Durand may have had help from a partner, the cashier working on the self-checkout that day, himself.
In response to the theft, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston Jr. announced he plans to use a portion of the grocery store chain’s record-breaking $1.3 billion profits to ramp-up store security measures across the country.
“We’re shocked and saddened by this theft and in an effort to curb future shoplifting will be introducing a number of new measures including moving dry pasta to a time-locked safe and placing explosive dye packs inside of bananas.
Yet despite the evidence collected, the larceny charges against Durand may not stick. Thus far police have been unable to obtain any eyewitness accounts of the theft with several shoppers explicitly telling police that “they didn’t see shit.”