San Francisco Announces Plan To Release Monkeys Onto The Streets To Fling Away All The Poo

Via: GregTx  •  Satire  •  10 Comments  •  3 Likes  •  3 years ago

“SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In an effort to finally clean up the streets, San Francisco announced they will release several packs of monkeys into the city...”

Henry Kissinger remains wrong on China

Via: GregTx  •  Today's America  •  3 Comments  •  2 Likes  •  3 years ago

“As he turns 100 later this month, Henry Kissinger is often wrong, but never in doubt — not least on China.”

How does a president most Americans don't believe is fit to serve run for reelection?

Via: GregTx  •  Today's America  •  114 Comments  •  6 Likes  •  3 years ago

“HOW DOES A PRESIDENT MOST AMERICANS DON'T BELIEVE IS FIT TO SERVE RUN FOR REELECTION? A few days ago, this newsletter looked at the dramatic...”

Title 42 ends: Texas AG Paxton files for restraining order against Biden border policy

Via: GregTx  •  Today's America  •  9 Comments  •  1 Like  •  3 years ago

“Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton filed for a temporary restraining order to prevent a border policy allowing for migrant parole.”

Biden Reassures Americans That Someone In His Administration Is Probably Doing Something About The Border

Via: GregTx  •  Satire  •  1 Comments  •  1 Like  •  3 years ago

“WASHINGTON, D.C. — Amid lawlessness, human tragedy, and 750,000 people preparing to rush the southern border this Thursday, President Biden talked...”

Mayorkas Heads To Border To Fire Starter Pistol When Title 42 Expires

Via: GregTx  •  Satire  •  7 Comments  •  5 Likes  •  3 years ago

“BROWNSVILLE, TX — With unprecedented numbers of migrants lined up at the southern U.S. border, Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas...”

Biden Taps Kamala Harris To Counteract Rise Of Intelligence

Via: GregTx  •  Satire  •  4 Comments  •  1 Like  •  3 years ago

“WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an effort to establish government oversight of the growing role of artificial intelligence in our society, President Biden...”

Nashville Shooter Manifesto Placed In Secure Crate Alongside Motive For Vegas Shooting, Epstein Client List, Ark of The Covenant

Via: GregTx  •  Satire  •  9 Comments  •  2 Likes  •  3 years ago

“QUANTICO, VA — According to anonymous sources, the trans activist manifesto of the Nashville mass shooter has been put in a top-secret crate in a...”

Randi Weingarten Explains She Tried To Reopen Schools In Opposite World

Via: GregTx  •  Satire  •  2 Comments  •  3 Likes  •  3 years ago

“U.S. — Facing increasing criticism over her handling of school closures around the country during the COVID-19 pandemic, United Federation of...”

Buttigieg Calls On DOT To Address Inequity By Using More Gay Crash Test Dummies

Via: GregTx  •  Satire  •  2 Comments  •  3 years ago

“WASHINGTON, D.C. — Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg is calling on the DOT to address a long-standing inequity by using more gay crash test...”