The Social Justice Warrior’s Guide To Independence Day
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
If you’re planning on celebrating the 4th of July, stop. Just stop. Now. While you may erroneously believe that Independence Day is a time when you should stop and reflect on the birth of the greatest nation in the world, the facts show something different: America is the most oppressive, evil, and dangerous country in the world and it does not deserve to be celebrated.
If you have been fooled by the patriotism that surrounds this holiday, you can be forgiven — although you probably shouldn’t be. Fortunately, you can make amends to the people you have victimized by following the tips outlined in this Social Justice Warrior’s Guide to Independence Day. In this piece, we will expose the evil that is the United States and show you how you should respond as a responsible American.
Following the tips given in this piece will help you approach the world as a “woke” member of society. Failing to heed the advice herein will reveal how much of a racist, sexist, misogynist, Islamophobe, and homophobe you are.
The Rise Of Evil American Nationalism
On the day the Declaration of Independence was signed by our slave-owning founders, nationalism began to pervade American culture. Indeed, the beginnings of our xenophobia can be traced to the very moment the document was ratified and sent to King George III. Think about it. We wanted to kick the British — who we saw as foreigners — out of the country and establish our own white American identity.
You’re probably thinking, “but the British were white too!” Well, if that’s what you are concerned about, it just shows how xenophobic you are. It is clear that our revolution against the crown was the beginning of a raging aversion to those who are not like us. Instead of being grateful for our independence, we must take time to think about how our revolt contributed to the problematic fear of immigrants that has remained to this day.
Celebrating Independence Day Is Celebrating Slavery
If you think Independence Day is worthy of celebration, then you clearly support the peculiar institution of slavery. After all, while the colonies won their independence from the British, slavery persisted until the 1800s.
Yes, we did fight a bloody civil war to abolish slavery once and for all, but who cares? Instead of focusing on the struggle to rectify this evil practice, it’s more important to fixate on the fact that thousands of soldiers in the Confederacy were fighting for slavery, so this means that the sacrifice of the abolitionists and soldiers in the Union is canceled out and utterly meaningless.
You might be thinking “America has horrible atrocities in its history, but we have worked to right those wrongs.” Furthermore, you might even argue that other countries have even worse blights in their past. However, this type of thinking is racist and shows your privilege, which must be checked immediately.
Ignore the fact that Middle Eastern and African nations still practice slavery. Pay no mind to the fact that modern slavery is also practiced in the United States, due in large part to human traffickers smuggling unwitting illegal immigrants into the country to become sex slaves and forced laborers. A truly woke individual understands that open borders are far more essential to social justice than victims of human trafficking.
Independence Day Is Only For Privileged Whites
Black people can’t celebrate the 4th of July. Neither can Hispanics, Asians, or any other minority. Why? Because racism exists in America. As a matter of fact, the United States is the most racist country on Earth because we have police brutality. That’s right. The actions of the few police officers who overstep the bounds of their authority have damaged the entire nation beyond repair.
It doesn’t matter that blacks are more likely to be killed by other blacks. It doesn’t matter that blacks make up 13% of the population but represent more than half of the nation’s homicide victims. Remember the social justice motto on black oppression: “Black Lives Matter, unless they are taken by other blacks. Those victims don’t get headlines, so we can’t use them to further our agenda.” If you want to be a true ally to blacks, never, ever, mention black-on-black violence.
The American Flag Is Racist
If you’re even thinking about flying an American flag, you should know the truth about “Old Glory.” It is a symbol of racial bigotry. Yes, we usually reserve our criticism for the Confederate flag, but all flags celebrating any aspect of America are problematic.
Just look at the colors and symbols:
- Red: The color of the blood spilled by white people.
- White: Self-explanatory, right?
- Blue: Because, um, white people make everyone else feel blue.
- Stars: Stars are white too, aren’t they?
- Stripes: To match the outfits minority inmates wear when whites like to lock them up. What? Prisoners don’t wear stripes anymore? Well, the point still stands. Stop being a racist.
Don’t fret. The fact that the American flag is an emblem of white supremacy doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its uses. Do you have a lighter handy? Great. Light that bad boy up on the 4th of July. Make sure you film it and post it on your social media so that your friends and family can see how woke you are.
President Trump Likes Independence Day
As you already know, being a faithful social justice warrior means opposing anything President Donald Trump likes. He likes the 4th of July, so we should hate it. Already, millions of woke Americans have refused to eat steak and meatloaf after learning that Trump loves these dishes. We thought about staging a boycott of McDonald’s, but their Chicken McNuggets are far too tasty to mount a successful effort.
Nevertheless, other efforts to oppose anything Trump likes have been relatively easy. Our boycott of red ties went off without a hitch because none of us ever needed to dress in a suit and tie. Trump’s teetotaling tendencies have been a great boon for the cause since we can now drink alcohol every day, all day if we wish.
Indeed, our embrace of alcohol has sparked many important actions on our part: Kathy Griffin’s bloody Trump head , Samantha Bee’s vulgar rant against Ivanka Trump, and the brilliant idea to convince the American public that Trump is a Russian spy were all ideas spawned by alcoholic binge fests. The president’s sobriety has become our biggest strength! If you want to take a stand against the white Nazi oppressors, alcohol must fuel your hate.
Independence Day Is Evil
It’s not easy being a woke person in America. We are the ones who understand what this country really is: an oppressive bastion of slavery and hate. We must stand against all who oppose us. Social justice-minded Americans must keep using the rights protected by that abhorrent piece of paper known as the Constitution to strip our political opponents of their rights.
Resisting the white supremacist power structure means destroying everything that made this country appear to be great. Remember, we can’t Make America Great Again because America was never great in the first place. On the 4th of July, do your part to bring about the utopia we have envisioned and make Marx proud!
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I laughed at parts of this, and other parts made me sad for America.
WTF have we degenerated to?
Every Day …… Just Sucks !
It is just too bad so sad that it sucks so badly in your America. Here in Our USA, at least in NYC, we just celebrated Pride with several million visitors from all around the world and are now all geared up for the Fourth of July. Everybody around me is having a great time. We have fireworks, homemade icecream and burgers on the grill. Of course things would be somewhat better if the damn gop and Trump were not such bummers always bringing everybody down. It must be very dark and hopeless in your pitiful world since you say it sucks so badly there. So, "SORRY"...
Your not very intuitive are you ?
Seems to be a Few on the "Left" that don't get it....thingy !
Just "Parroting" those few .....thingies ….. and you didn't even "SEE" ! None so blind as those that can not "SEE" ….. themselves !
No, ive read your comments and they are mostly bummers. So, "SORRY"...
Only for the "Few" .
Are you the "Few" ?
The city where school children can pick their gender, yet can't seem to learn how to read or write and where danger can appear in an instant like a bee coming around the corner. That's what happens when progressives control a city.
You have been consuming way too much false anti-American propaganda. New York is doing great and our city schools are outstanding. If you want to talk really bad failing public schools you had better look at Texas...
I was expecting something at least semi funny or humorous.
What I saw was a parade of white grievance whining.
Is this really all they have?
Perhaps a Bash Trump article would make you more comfortable?
Your unquestioned, unfiltered, unlimited worship of Shitbag is bashing in itself.
Comment 1.1 might be a good start?
Your post is ample proof that you wouldn't recognize what worship is if it bit you on the ass.
Carry on!
LMAO!
Just par for the course.
You are truly out of ammo (not that you've ever fired anything but smoke) judging by that embarrassing response.
And I gotta know what inspired that bizarre metaphor--being bit on the ass by worship. I mean, it's more bizarre as being kissed on the toe by adoration which is well-know if a bit quirky.
Trumps Tribute to America was a great moment. SJW’s hated every minute of it.
You were expecting something YOU would find funny or humorous??
Why?
this stuff is only funny to conservatives...
But damn, he is hot when he breaks up! Keep posting this one! Who can resist?!
they only "think" they have been woken. truth is, they are broken.
but they are not going to break the rest of us.
Happy 4th of July
Since when is social justice a bad thing? Why is it so threatening to you?
"The arc of a moral universe is long but it bends towards justice" - MLK...
justice is always a good thing.
sjw's are just violent batschit crazy marxist cowards. who cover their faces when they attack others.
they don't threaten me one bit. I'm not even slightly impressed. but they do threaten our peace and our security. So, with that in mind, every time one touches me.... they lose their left shoe and then I release them to the wild mostly unharmed.
speaking of antifa. - leaving for austin in the morning.
cheers
What's this nonsense? You've made that batshit crazy claim before of stealing their left shoe. Now this nonsense about leaving them mostly unharmed.
WTF
The Kleagle is not going to be happy, brother.
its just a game I play with marxists in austin now and again.
if they don't touch me I let them keep their shoe. it is good fun
the history of the bo bo shoe.
when we were kids and would get in a fight we would take then nail the losers shoe over our garage door.
they could come and get it any time they wanted. the point was to send them home missing a shoe so they had to tell their parents what happened to it. ahhh the good ol days.
call it a tradition.
hint: high tops cant be grabbed so easy... LOL
cheers
at the next meeting tell them I said they can all fuk off.
thanks
Social justice = retribution
Like the way Eric Holder ran the Justice Department
America it's your turn now! Take that!
That is all pure nonsense. There is surely nothing wrong with working to make the world more just for everyone if we really do believe that all men, and women, really are equal under the law. To seek social justice is to merely work to make it so. To seek justice for all like Super Man did for, "Truth, Justice and The American Way". Who would ever be opposed to that? Lex Luthor and Vlad Putin...
It is huh? Is that why he investigated Police Departments and put them under consent decrees instead of investigating cop killers?
Pure nonsense!? How are you defining, "Truth, Justice and The American Way"?
You mean, you don't like hearing it.
Some police departments needed to be investigated. So, he did so...
You mean like the Ferguson MI Police Department? Wasn't that when thug Michael Brown was supposedly shot with his hands up? However a thourough investigation in addition to Holders Justice Department's probe was forced to admit that Michael Brown was shot while trying to take officer Darren Wilson's gun away from him. And what did Holder do after having to admit the truth? He did another investigation of the Ferguson Police Department, sort of as a parting shot, and found them guilty of giving too many traffic violations to African Americans. What a stain his tenure was on the Justice Department!
How are you defining, "Truth, Justice and The American Way"?
Oh, man!!!!!!! I had a great joke about the 'author' of the article having clearly never missed a summer holiday meal. I would say that bbq ribs and baked beans with extra bacon are on his breakfast menu on most days. Then I saw the satire tag. An immediate balloon wither, it was.
Oh, you mean the author was SATIRIZING white grievance crybabies, not sympathizing with them. That makes sense.
Thanks for the explanation.
the greatest trick the patriarchy ever pulled was tricking feminists into protesting nude...
they did not want to be seen as sex symbols
"free the nipple" was actually a mans idea.
and now we know for sure, feminists are not sexy.
Fat shamming a black guy....shouldn't our liberal friends be calling it raaaaaaaaaaaaceeeeeeest?
WTF are you on about? And how does one "sham" someone?
Anything to do with the ShamWow?
So THAT'S the cloth!!
LMFAO!
Give them a little break ....seems all they have in life is to be angry.
Happy Fourth!!
You know that version of our flag is going to trigger someone, don't you?
Great job!
Well, yeah, but did it trigger you?
Sorry! SJW's can have their Hate the USA Day, oh never mind that is everyday.
That's actually Don Jr. with Trump's African American*, with Booker and some random gay guys heads stitched on.
* - Trump's African American
The NT's Numero Uno Culture ["White," of course] Warrior seems to have his panties all atwist. Whassmatta, BF? Did some hippie give you a harsh look?
Open the seeded article, Tessy. The author's photograph is there. [deleted]
Perhaps NT should require instructions [Deleted]
You can call me Miss or Ms. or Ma'am. I only prefer people that I like to call me Tess or Tessy.
I deleted the comment. Do try to keep up would you.
When I saw his photo, I notice he is a bit chunky. Doughy. Fleshy.
Since he actually quoted what YOU wrote, I'd say he is "keeping up" admirably, Tessylo.
Don't worry about it, Texan1211. It's not worth BOTH of us getting unwarranted tickets.
I was very careful in choosing my words. Nothing worthy of a ticket in my post.
Or in yours, IMO.
Here's a SJW who is constantly "triggered" ...
And some $80M* richer for "it."
*settlement with the NFL for depriving him of employment.
Wah, wah, the baby couldn't play in the NFL anymore.
I don't blame owners for not signing a public-relations nightmare.
Kaepernick could have played in other leagues, but maybe they weren't too interested in a has-been, either.
Well said, both of you and right on.
I'm enjoying watching the WhiteCultureWarriors on this seed demonstrate us what a stinking septic tank their cause is.
1. Actually, didn't the signatories on the Declaration of Independence see the British Monarch and the Empire as overly-domineering 'overlords'?
2. The founders of this nation needed immigrants to come here. Partly, due to the native peoples and partially due to a drastic and urgent need to 'fill up' (settle) vast stretches of harsh, plentiful land. What aversion to immigrants? Prove it!
[Frederick Douglass] Addressing an audience of about 600 at the newly constructed Corinthian Hall, he started out by acknowledging that the signers of the Declaration of Independence were “brave” and “great” men, and that the way they wanted the Republic to look was in the right spirit. But, he said, speaking more than a decade before slavery was ended nationally, a lot of work still needed to be done so that all citizens can enjoy “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” Above “your national, tumultuous joy” — the July 4th celebrations of white Americans — were the “mournful wails of millions” whose heavy chains “are, today, rendered more intolerable by the jubilee shouts that reach them.”
In the oration’s most famous passages, Douglass discussed what it felt like to see such festivities and to know independence was not a given for people like him:
Douglass’ speech also foreshadowed the bloody reckoning to come: Civil War. “For it is not light that is needed, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder,” he said. “We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.”
Source:
The full speech by Frederick Douglass: (This speech @ 6 minutes in is in a word: "Intense.")
The "president" tells us that Mr. Douglass is doing great things lately.
I can't take this article seriously, since KFC chicken nuggets are far superior to McDonald's attempt to compete with theirs. And as for fireworks, has anybody realized that fireworks were invented in China, so lighting fireworks celebrates a Chinese achievement and its history.
As for Trump's demand that only Stars and Stripes flags made in America are to be purchased and used from now on is designed to stop the purchase of those made in China, where most have been made, because they spy on America and send semaphore messages to Xi Jinping.
The question is: What was Jim Crow about?
Since this is about Independence Day and "woke" people, let's return to hear more from a man woke, Mister Frederick Douglass , in his day: