California Republicans Flee to Florida and Texas in Search of Dumber Governors | The New Yorker

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  kavika  •  one month ago  •  60 comments

By:   Conde Nast (The New Yorker)

California Republicans Flee to Florida and Texas in Search of Dumber Governors | The New Yorker
They chose to leave rather than put up with a governor who oppressively follows science.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



By Andy Borowitz

September 15, 2021 Photograph by Joe Raedle / Getty

CALIFORNIA (The Borowitz Report)—Despondent after yesterday's recall election, millions of California Republicans are fleeing the state for Florida and Texas in search of dumber governors.

The Republicans are choosing to leave their lives in California behind rather than put up with another year and a half of a governor who oppressively follows science.

Harland Dorrinson, a real-estate agent in Orange County, said that he was leaving for a new life in Florida with little more than the Rolex on his arm.

"I looked at myself in the mirror and asked, Can I really live under the tyranny of a governor who blindly adheres to verifiable reality?" he said. "I decided I'd be better off with Ron DeSantis."

Although he is excited about starting over in the Sunshine State, Dorrinson said that choosing between Florida and Texas was "one of the toughest decisions" of his life.

"With Governor Abbott and Governor DeSantis, you really can't go wrong," he said. "Both of them oppose mask mandates. Both of them oppose vaccine mandates. But DeSantis has actually had his videos banned from YouTube for spreading COVID misinformation. That was the tiebreaker for me."

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Article is LOCKED by author/seeder
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Kavika
Professor Principal
1  seeder  Kavika     one month ago

Florida leads in death per million with Texas close behind. California is a distant third. You can see why they are fleeing California.

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.1  Split Personality  replied to  Kavika @1    one month ago

Yeah butt, butt, lies, damned lies and statistics, lol.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.1.1  Sean Treacy  replied to  Split Personality @1.1    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.1.2  Split Personality  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.1.1    one month ago

Which one?

 The one about the ND quarterback single handedly breaking up a KKK rally with a few potatoes?

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.1.3  Sean Treacy  replied to  Split Personality @1.1.2    one month ago
The about the quarterback single handedly breaking up a KKK rally with a few potatoes

No, no remember. You claimed the guy the  attacked a KKK rally was a  racist. Good times. 

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.1.4  Split Personality  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.1.3    one month ago

Oh was THAT your point?

Aside from the fact that he broke nothing but windows and light bulbs with 2 or 3 potatoes and not once faced a real

KKK member didn't make him a racist,

but the fact that all 4 players in your avatar became college coaches and never accepted black football players ever is a

pretty good indication that they were all racists.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.1.5  Sean Treacy  replied to  Split Personality @1.1.4    one month ago
e fact that all 4 players in your avatar became college coaches and never accepted black football players ever is a pretty good indication that they were all racists.

Another false claim.  [Deleted]

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.1.6  Split Personality  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.1.5    4 weeks ago
Another false claim.

Then disprove it.  It's that simple.

Why do you constantly insult people on this forum?

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.1.7  Sean Treacy  replied to  Split Personality @1.1.6    4 weeks ago
hen disprove it.  It's that simple.

No, it's on you to prove your claim. 

do you constantly insult people on this forum

Why do you?  

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.1.8  Sean Treacy  replied to  Split Personality @1.1.6    4 weeks ago

Let's see this source for your claim. 

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.1.9  Split Personality  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.1.8    4 weeks ago

Pfttt You know it, I know it and most black people and NA know exactly where they were allowed to play football and why.

I'll post the facts but if you want resources to establish the obvious do it yourself.

Layden coached ND for 7 years 1934 -1940.  The first black player at ND was in 1952

Crowley 1929-1932 Michigan State Don Coleman signed in 1949 then none until true integration in the 60's

Crowley  1933-1941 Fordham University.  Odd story, lily white teams.512

After playing the Sugar Bowl and winning 2-0 the team disbanded and went their separate ways to fight WWII.

Fordham stopped playing football for 34 years before returning in 1970, integrated.

Stuhldreher 1925-1936 Villanova University Stopped playing in 1980, when football resumed in 1984 they were integrated - see Bo-Dean Sanders book.

                    1936 -1947 Wisconsin Badgers 2 black players in 1948 after Ivy Williamson is named head coach

Don Miller  backfield coach,  4 years at Georgia Tech, 4 years at Ohio U, GT integrated in 1961, Ohio in 1942

Miller became head coach of Saint Xavior HS in 1934, for one season before devoting himself to practicing law, eventually becoming a US District Attorney Cleveland.   Xavior integrated in 1951.

Meanwhile black college football thrived from 1892 through the 1960's.

Black College Football began play in 1892 with segregation well-established and heavily managed with Jim Crow laws. Following World War I the sport of college football ignited the passions of patriotism, pride and school spirit as America had found a new past time.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.2  Sean Treacy  replied to  Kavika @1    one month ago
rida leads in death per million with Texas close behind. California is a distant third.

No they don't. 

The top 5 states in death per capita from Covid are Mississippi ,  New Jersey, Louisiana, New York and Massachusetts 

 
 
 
exexpatnowinTX
Freshman Participates
1.2.1  exexpatnowinTX  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.2    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.2.2  Tessylo  replied to  exexpatnowinTX @1.2.1    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.3  devangelical  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.2    one month ago
No they don't.

yeah..., they do in trumpster deaths per million.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.4  seeder  Kavika   replied to  Sean Treacy @1.2    one month ago
The top 5 states in death per capita from Covid are Mississippi ,  New Jersey, Louisiana, New York and Massachusetts 

The article is about Texas, Florida and California. Nothing was mentioned about any of the states you're babbling about....

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Principal
1.2.5  Raven Wing  replied to  Kavika @1.2.4    one month ago

They always try to deflect and derail to try to promote their own agenda. The same ones time after time. Isn't that some kin of Trolling?

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.6  Texan1211  replied to  Kavika @1.2.4    one month ago

He merely corrected a false claim.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.7  seeder  Kavika   replied to  exexpatnowinTX @1.2.1    one month ago
No they don't. The top 5 states in death per capita from Covid are Mississippi ,  New Jersey, Louisiana, New York and Massachusetts  Don't confuse them with facts.  Their heads might explode.

See my comment to Sean. You might actually read the article and see that it's humor, so your facts are about a valid as Sean's. 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.2.8  Trout Giggles  replied to  Kavika @1.2.7    one month ago

If Mississippi is leading in COVID deaths over New York...then a quarter of the population must be dead! Do these folks realize how many more people there are in New York than Mississippi?

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.9  seeder  Kavika   replied to  Texan1211 @1.2.6    one month ago

There was no false claim. Sean has difficulty reading the written word.

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2.10  Split Personality  replied to  Sean Treacy @1.2    one month ago
The New York Times .

The Times used data from reports of coronavirus cases and deaths by U.S. states and counties. The database includes cases and deaths that have been identified by public health officials as probable coronavirus patients, which means they did not have confirmed tests for coronavirus infection but were evaluated using criteria developed by national and local governments. Read more about the data here

Here is a breakdown of average daily COVID-19 deaths and COVID-19 deaths per 100,000 people over the last seven days in all 50 U.S. states and Washington, D.C. The data was last updated Sept. 17.

Note: States are ranked by deaths per 100,000. The list includes ties. 

Florida
Deaths per 100,000: 1.69
Daily average deaths: 362.6

Mississippi
Deaths per 100,000: 1.42
Daily average deaths: 42.1

South Carolina
Deaths per 100,000: 1.34
Daily average deaths: 68.9

Idaho
Deaths per 100,000: 1.22
Daily average deaths: 21.9

Louisiana
Deaths per 100,000: 1.15
Daily average deaths: 53.4

Georgia
Deaths per 100,000: 1.12
Daily average deaths: 119.6

Arkansas
Deaths per 100,000: 1.07
Daily average deaths: 32.3

Texas
Deaths per 100,000: 1.03
Daily average deaths: 297.3

West Virginia
Deaths per 100,000: 0.99
Daily average deaths: 17.7

Wyoming
Deaths per 100,000: 0.96
Daily average deaths: 5.6

Alabama
Deaths per 100,000: 0.89
Daily average deaths: 43.4

Tennessee
Deaths per 100,000: 0.85
Daily average deaths: 58

Oklahoma
Deaths per 100,000: 0.84
Daily average deaths: 33.1

Kentucky
Deaths per 100,000: 0.76
Daily average deaths: 34

North Carolina
Deaths per 100,000: 0.71
Daily average deaths: 74.6

Nevada
Deaths per 100,000: 0.65
Daily average deaths: 20

Indiana
Deaths per 100,000: 0.61
Daily average deaths: 41

Kansas
Deaths per 100,000: 0.52
Daily average deaths: 15.3

New Mexico
Deaths per 100,000: 0.52
Daily average deaths: 11

Washington
Deaths per 100,000: 0.52
Daily average deaths: 39.9

Oregon
Deaths per 100,000: 0.49
Daily average deaths: 20.9

Montana
Deaths per 100,000: 0.47
Daily average deaths: 5

Hawaii
Deaths per 100,000: 0.46
Daily average deaths: 6.6

Missouri
Deaths per 100,000: 0.46
Daily average deaths: 28.3

Arizona
Deaths per 100,000: 0.43
Daily average deaths: 31.3

Illinois
Deaths per 100,000: 0.36
Daily average deaths: 45.7

Utah
Deaths per 100,000: 0.34
Daily average deaths: 10.9

California
Deaths per 100,000: 0.33
Daily average deaths: 132

Virginia
Deaths per 100,000: 0.33
Daily average deaths: 28.1

Rhode Island
Deaths per 100,000: 0.31
Daily average deaths: 3.3

Maine
Deaths per 100,000: 0.3
Daily average deaths: 4

Ohio
Deaths per 100,000: 0.3
Daily average deaths: 35

Pennsylvania
Deaths per 100,000: 0.3
Daily average deaths: 38.6

Iowa
Deaths per 100,000: 0.29
Daily average deaths: 9.1

Maryland
Deaths per 100,000: 0.27
Daily average deaths: 16.3

South Dakota
Deaths per 100,000: 0.27
Daily average deaths: 2.4

Vermont
Deaths per 100,000: 0.25
Daily average deaths: 1.6

North Dakota
Deaths per 100,000: 0.24
Daily average deaths: 1.9

Alaska
Deaths per 100,000: 0.23
Daily average deaths: 1.7

Michigan
Deaths per 100,000: 0.23
Daily average deaths: 22.9

Wisconsin
Deaths per 100,000: 0.23
Daily average deaths: 13.3

Colorado
Deaths per 100,000: 0.22
Daily average deaths: 12.9

New Jersey
Deaths per 100,000: 0.2
Daily average deaths: 17.7

Delaware
Deaths per 100,000: 0.19
Daily average deaths: 1.9

Massachusetts
Deaths per 100,000: 0.19
Daily average deaths: 13.1

New York State
Deaths per 100,000: 0.18
Daily average deaths: 34.1

New Hampshire
Deaths per 100,000: 0.17
Daily average deaths: 2.3

Minnesota
Deaths per 100,000: 0.16
Daily average deaths: 9.2

Nebraska
Deaths per 100,000: 0.14
Daily average deaths: 2.7

Connecticut
Deaths per 100,000: 0.12
Daily average deaths: 4.4

District of Columbia
Deaths per 100,000: 0.06
Daily average deaths: .4

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.11  Texan1211  replied to  Kavika @1.2.9    one month ago

it stands to reason that larger-population states will have more deaths from Covid.

What Sean stated was per capita.

[deleted]

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2.12  Split Personality  replied to  Texan1211 @1.2.11    one month ago

One more time......

The satire was about three states only...

and the order is correct when only considering the three states named in the "seed".

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.13  Texan1211  replied to  Split Personality @1.2.12    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
1.2.14  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Texan1211 @1.2.11    one month ago
What Sean stated was per capita.

True, but what he said just after that wasn't accurate.

"The top 5 states in death per capita from Covid are Mississippi ,  New Jersey, Louisiana, New York and Massachusetts"

The actual top 5 States in deaths per capita from Covid are Florida, Mississippi, South Carolina, Idaho and Louisiana and pointed out in 1.2.10.

[deleted]

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.15  Texan1211  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.2.14    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2.16  Split Personality  replied to  Texan1211 @1.2.13    one month ago

DID YOU NOT SEE THE satire TAG???????

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.17  seeder  Kavika   replied to  Texan1211 @1.2.11    one month ago

It was satire and only CA. TX. and FL are part of the article. 

And FL leads both TX and CA in per capita deaths.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.18  Texan1211  replied to  Split Personality @1.2.16    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.19  Texan1211  replied to  Kavika @1.2.17    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2.20  Split Personality  replied to  Texan1211 @1.2.19    one month ago

Pit bulls are pit bulls. jrSmiley_72_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.21  Texan1211  replied to  Split Personality @1.2.16    one month ago
DID YOU NOT SEE THE satire TAG???????

YES I DID!

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2.22  Split Personality  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.2.8    one month ago

The lead in this macabre race keeps changing hands it seems

Tennessee is now in the lead, depending on the statistics one uses.

Surge makes Tennessee U.S. leader in new COVID cases per capita (yahoo.com)

 
 
 
gooseisback
Freshman Silent
1.2.23  gooseisback  replied to  Split Personality @1.2.10    one month ago
 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.2.24  Split Personality  replied to  gooseisback @1.2.23    one month ago

Subtle clues for those who see them.

Statista is all data to date.

The NYT info is for the last week.

The CBS info about Tennessee is claiming that both the CDC and NYT acknowledge

that Tennessee has averaged over 8300 new cases per day for over 7 days.

People need to be concerned about where the highest threat is THIS week as opposed to last year.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.2.25  Sean Treacy  replied to  Split Personality @1.2.10    one month ago

Another new argument.  

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.2.26  Sean Treacy  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.2.14    one month ago
but what he said just after that wasn't accurate.

what I said was accurate, SP just cherry picked different data to make a different claim. 

e actual top 5 States in deaths per capita from Covid are Florida, Mississippi, South Carolina, Idaho and Louisiana and pointed out in 1.2.10.

That's not accurate. 

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.2.27  Sean Treacy  replied to  exexpatnowinTX @1.2.1    one month ago

Lol...That counts as taunting..  

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Expert
1.2.28  Sean Treacy  replied to  Kavika @1.2.4    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.29  seeder  Kavika   replied to  Sean Treacy @1.2.28    one month ago

I doubt if you forgot, more accurate is that you have no idea what you're talking about as evidenced by your ignorant comment.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
Professor Guide
1.2.30  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Texan1211 @1.2.21    4 weeks ago
YES I DID!

Translation:  Of course I didn't see it.  I'm just trying to save face.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.31  devangelical  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @1.2.30    4 weeks ago

exactly.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
1.2.32  Texan1211  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @1.2.30    4 weeks ago
Translation:  Of course I didn't see it.  I'm just trying to save face.

You should probably work on your translation then, because yours is all messed up.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.3  devangelical  replied to  Kavika @1    one month ago

we should've fenced off part of afghanistan or iraq for them during the last 20 years... ... moronastan

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.3.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @1.3    one month ago

good name

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Principal
1.4  Gordy327  replied to  Kavika @1    one month ago

Between tackling covid and it's absurd abortion law, Texas has become a black hole of stupid. Covid case trends in Texas have steadily increased while those in Florida have decreased. 

 
 
 
exexpatnowinTX
Freshman Participates
1.4.1  exexpatnowinTX  replied to  Gordy327 @1.4    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.4.2  devangelical  replied to  exexpatnowinTX @1.4.1    one month ago

I'm guessing the crush of immigrants into california must have to show proof of immunization...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.4.3  devangelical  replied to  Gordy327 @1.4    one month ago

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Principal
1.4.4  Gordy327  replied to  devangelical @1.4.3    one month ago

jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Guide
1.5  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Kavika @1    4 weeks ago

As they are most likely unvaccinated aholes, FL deserves to have them.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2  Trout Giggles    one month ago

I just adore Andy Borowitz!

Hey! I wonder if our not so favorite Northern Californian has rented his U-Haul yet?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @2    one month ago

if he leaves the state, his ankle monitor goes off...

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
2.2  seeder  Kavika   replied to  Trout Giggles @2    one month ago
Hey! I wonder if our not so favorite Northern Californian has rented his U-Haul yet?

LOL, probably is. 

 
 
 
Gsquared
Junior Principal
2.3  Gsquared  replied to  Trout Giggles @2    one month ago

He can't afford the rent, but his ecstatic, and very hopeful, neighbors set up a GoFundMe page.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
3  Buzz of the Orient    4 weeks ago

For an article that is obvious satire and posted under "the lighter side - humour" it sure as hell used up a lot of purple ink.

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
3.1  Split Personality  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    4 weeks ago

and personal ire, lol

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3.2  seeder  Kavika   replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3    4 weeks ago

Yeah, seems that some are either trolls or simply can't read, but it is what it is.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4  seeder  Kavika     4 weeks ago

Locking article.

 
 
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