Article History
"All SECRETS are in Hunter's LAPTOP!" Nostril Dumb-Bottom
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 18 Comments • 3 Likes • last year
“Nostril Dumb-bottom, Double Agent, Extradentary - Author, Speller, Typist & Closet Queen”
WARNING:This is a "NEED To Know Only", Super-Duper, Top, Tippy-Top, Inside Scoop, available as a one-time offer for FREE for only $8.00 per month. If Elon can do it, then so can I, "Nostril Dumb Bottom, Secret Agent, 0 0 6!"My, Fellow, News Talkers. com-u-nests, as a direct descendant of the...
Want an AR-15, but can't afford one? You need "GUN SHARE"!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 34 Comments • 5 Likes • last year
“"Every man, woman and child needs a LOADED LETHAL WEAPON!" - NRA”
Friends, friends, and all of you on The News Talkers. communists, site, if you are upset with your neighbor for watering his/her flowers with your hose, siphoning off your outside faucet, or, worse, you know what I am talking about! Then you need LETHAL WEAPONS FOR RENT!That self-righteous...
Every Elected Politician or Official that takes MONEY from the NRA should be KICKED Out of Office by Congressional Decree!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 209 Comments • 7 Likes • last year
“"Prayers and Bull Shit..." - Republican Cowards”
Anyone, any organization, any employee, and especially any POLICITIAN that accepts "Blood Money" from the National Rifle Association is complicit in every MASS SHOOTING in America and should be driven out of office, sued, held responsible for these murders, shootings, and injuries.The NRA is not...
Trump's INDICTMENT Day (April 4th) declared a National Holiday!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 281 Comments • 8 Likes • last year
“"We got his FAT Orange Tukas, now! "- NYSD, AG, or someone with those initials.”
President Joe Biden or Trump has declared Tuesday, April 4th, 2023 as "National Indictment Day". Biden told reporters, "Every year for the next 30 years, a new Indictment will be brought against "Dirty Diaper Donnie" by the National Health Safety Board on the 4th day of April each year, until...
WARNING: New PAN-DAMN- IT Virus Spreading through RED-NECK states! - NO Known CURE!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 15 Comments • 6 Likes • last year
“"Maybe if Red-Necks would bathe more than once a year, they wouldn't attract so many varmints!" - Drs. Ding-A-Ling and Ding Dong, Conjoined Twins”
The CDC, or an agency with similar initials, has declared a NATIONAL HEALTH WARNING.Drs. Ding-A-Ling and Ding Dong, conjoined Siamese Twins stated, faced up from the barroom floor (that they were examining all night, for signs of a "virulent virus", unknown PATHOGENE that is sweeping through the...
De Insane-Tis's Platform for 2024
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 76 Comments • 9 Likes • last year
Florida's Mini-Trump, De Satan released his platform for the 2024 Presidential Race. Republicans are beaming, Democrats steaming, and non-voters are still "PISSING & MOANING"!BREAKING NEWS from WOKE NATION:1. Anti-Jew 2. Anti-Black3. Anti-Hispanics4. Anti-GAY5. Anti-Books6. Anti-Vac7....
WOKE NATION, am I in trouble? I WOKE at 6:00 AM. Did I commit a crime?
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 45 Comments • 5 Likes • last year
“"I am here to tell you that I will DEMOLISH the WOKE MOVEMENT by moving my clock back an HOUR. Who's with me?" - Gug. Desensitizers ”
Did I commit a crime when my cat (Jill) woke me this morning as she does every day? Or, did she?Will Governor De-Sanitizer de-sanitize me? I have been doing this all of me life! Am I a CAREER CRIMINAL?Is my cat in peril?Will DeSantis ever GROW UP?Inquiring Minds Want to Know, the other Kind...
MAGA-LOONS have one driving principle - Throw Catsup on the Wall
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 56 Comments • 2 Likes • last year
“"Not for the weal of the party of TEAR IT DOWN, DAMNIT"!”
Republicans' Objectives For 2023: OBSTRUCTION, Investigate the Investigators, and Throw Cath-up on the Walls is the new mantra of Radical Right Party of Maga-loons! By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It I always quote from my old friend, Steve Bunions, the former advisor...
Mildew, Ohio is no longer "WOKE", We be "BROKE"! Thanks to the Re-Puritans who invaded our lovely community!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 16 Comments • 2 Likes • last year
“"Burning Books is not a good way to start a fire." - Reverend Oral Fleece, straight from the street and not from the Police.”
Hello, my fellow Lipschitzers, this is Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored", coming to you "LIVE From URANUS".You know that "scratchy, itchy" feeling you get, that ain't hemorrhoids, that's our "Potty Cast". So, whatever you do don't scratch it. That interferes with the reception and might...