President Snowflake to avoid White House Correspondents’ dinner unless comedians promise a ‘safe space’
By: @kavika, 5 hours ago
Latest By: @jwc2blue, 4 hours ago
President Snowflake to avoid White House Correspondents’ dinner unless comedians promise a ‘safe space’ President Trump will not be attending the White House Correspondents’ dinner this year due to fears that people will make jokes and be mean to him. America’s premier snowflake said he will break a 35-year tradition by avoiding the dinner in April because his skin is as thin as the margin of his electoral victory. “Jokes are fake news,” confirmed the president,...
HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, according TO THE BIBLE... PLEASE DO NOT GOOGLE THIS ONE OR CHECK WITH SNOPES. THEY WILL LIE TO YOU. TRUST ME! In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy (Dot for short). Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far...
By: @kavika, 3 weeks ago
Latest By: @pj, 3 weeks ago
World Leaders Receive Crank Calls from Someone Claiming to Be President of United States By Andy Borowitz February 2, 2017 --> --> --> --> --> --> --> --> WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report )—In a spate of annoying telephone pranks that has lasted nearly two weeks, heads of state from around the world have been receiving crank calls from someone claiming to be the President of...
By: @buzz-of-the-orient, 3 weeks ago
Latest By: @kavika, 3 weeks ago
The British have such a command of decorum and aplomb to which we can only aspire. This message is for my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly. His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly. "May I ask you a question, My Lord?" "Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain." "What word is that?" asked His Lordship....
Quote of the Week. When asked about what he thinks about General “Mad Dog” Mattis being considered for Secretary of Defense, Rob O’Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden) said, “General Mattis has a bear rug in his home, but it’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move”.
By: @kavika, one month ago
Latest By: @kavika, one month ago
Monday, 23 January 2017 Trump’s first bowel movement in White House twice the size of Obama’s, Press Secretary reports AddThis Sharing Buttons Share to Facebook Share to Twitter Share to Email Share to WhatsApp Share to More 73.6K Washington D.C. (dpo) - We knew Donald Trump wanted to go big, after all, ‘making America great again’ is no small task. Now, it seems he has delivered. The new White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer...
By: @krav-maga, 2 months ago
Latest By: @00fish, 2 months ago
Trump Administration to Repeal Bison as First National Mammal A satirical view of how Trump might approach an indigenous treasure Tiffany Midge • December 14, 2016 WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Trump administration plans to overturn the National Bison Legacy Act, a legislative bill that passed the House and Senate last April that unanimously approved the bison as the first national mammal of the United States. President Obama signed the bill into law. In a statement to the press...
Awkward Christmas family photos (Part II): Feast on these outfits, cheesy grins and just plain wrong festive poses
By: @krishna, 2 months ago
Latest By: @community, 2 months ago
It's the most wonderful time of the year, so the song goes. But it can also be oddest, when families find themselves suddenly jammed into close proximity - with the pubs shut and nowhere to go. As a result, it can lead to some pretty embarrassing moments, particularly when the time comes for the inevitable family photos. A repeat offender, Mayor Jorge and his family pose with a penguin These pictures, curated by th e Awkward Family Photos...
By: @krishna, 2 months ago
Latest By: @krishna, 2 months ago
ALEX JONES!!! (PBUH) [jrEmbed module="jrYouTube" youtube_id="AP38NghqnBI"] Agenda 2030 is being rolled out to condition the populace to accept total government control in all aspects of life with no possessions and no privacy. Alex Jones breaks down the elites latest developments to manage your life, destroy the middle class, and engage in mass population eradication.
There are many super heroes. They are the stuff of which comic books and movies are made. In literature and movies there are also anti-heroes. Interesting characters they. The following is a list of six non heroes. These are just ordinary folks. Nothing of note one way or the other. In other words, well more than 99% of the world's population. We need those too, and probably most of all. 1. Moderately Virtuous Man. One who never achieves moral greatness because he takes...
By: @pj, 3 months ago
Latest By: @community, 3 months ago
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I found this here , and it was too funny to not share! If Men Got Pregnant: Maternity leave would last for two years... with full pay. There would be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would be obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the number one health problem. All methods of birth control would be improved to 100% effectiveness. Children would be kept at the hospital until they were fully toilet trained. Men would be EAGER to talk about commitment. They wouldn't...
By: @krishna, 3 months ago
Latest By: @enoch, 3 months ago
This Nov. 22, 2016 photo provided by the Gardner Police Department shows a person dressed in a gorilla costume that was captured on one of the two motion-activated cameras intended to investigate reports of mountain lions at a park in Gardner, Kan. Police discovered images of smaller animals as well as pranksters dressed as animals, monsters and Santa Claus, but no mountain lions were detected. (Gardner Police Department via AP) Motion-activated cameras intended to capture images...
With Thanksgiving behind us the end of the year holiday season has begun. With the fun comes the danger excess weight gain. Toward that end the following is a Top Ten List of foods and beverages to consider in keeping weight down. In the spirit of portion control. this Top Ten List has only nine selections, 9. Smith Brother cough and cold drops. Less family, less tonnage. 8. Domino Pizza. No pies, just one slice. 7. Maxwell Lofts Coffee. Fewer rooms, less fluid. 6. Kraft 500...
The end of the year holiday season approaches. When charity goes right, everyone wins. Most charities are honorable. The money arrives where it is supposed to go. They are efficient, effective and advance the human condition. Some are not. Here is my top ten list of bogus charities to avoid. 10. Foreigners Living Abroad Foundation. 9. Citizens Overly Concerned Against Apathy Fund. 8. Feed the Morbidly Obese Association. 7. Unify Diversity Coalition. 6....
By: @enoch, 4 months ago
Latest By: @enoch, 4 months ago
The country and the world sees the best of us during the World Series. Two highly skilled teams play their personal best game, individually and collectively. When its over, their sportsmanship is so fine that they form lines and shake each others hands. This is the best of America. Some, to make it more interesting place bets. If you do, even if your bookie is someone you never met, or the bet is placed on line do not be taken in by attractive odds on scam sucker bets. There are...
By: @kavika, 5 months ago
Latest By: @kavika, 5 months ago
WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Responding to his flagging poll numbers and a string of newspaper editorials and cable news pundits questioning his fitness to lead, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump reportedly complained to a rally crowd Thursday that for the entirety of this race, his personality has been rigged against him. “From day one, my internal thought processes and overall temperament have completely stacked the deck against my candidacy—it’s so obvious, folks, you can’t deny it,”...
By: @krishna, 5 months ago
Latest By: @krishna, 5 months ago
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Donald Trump has said that if he wins he will do EXTREME VETTING of all immigrants. He hasn't said how that would work, but maybe it would go a little something like this? [jrEmbed module="jrYouTube" id="86"]
By: @kavika, 5 months ago
Latest By: @petey-coober, 5 months ago
HEMPSTEAD, NY ( The Borowitz Report )—As the nation awaits the first faceoff between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump on Monday night, more Americans are expected to self-medicate than for any other Presidential debate in history. With over a hundred million people projected to watch the debate, roughly sixty million of them will be barely sentient after ingesting what they deem to be the necessary dose of intoxicants. Davis Logsdon, of the University of Minnesota, estimated on Monday...