Article History
Donnie's SECRET WEAPON. It's not his charm, intelligence, competence. It is his DIAPER!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • Satire • 18 Comments • 1 Like • 4 months ago
“"Dirty Diaper Donnie" is losing his SHAT! - Jonathan Lipschitz, Part Time Idiot & Full Time Moron”
Donnie J. Trump's threat to HUMANITY is not his hot tempers, insane rantings or "know-nothing" approach to governance.No, Sir-Ree-Bob-A-Looney Tunes, it is his DIAPERS, always filled with a gigantic, full load to protect him from would-be assassins, warrant servers, and Melanoma.No one with a...
My Fellow Americanos, 'Dis is Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, with another "down & dirty" PIGEON REPORT
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 68 Comments • 4 Likes • 4 months ago
“"da TOOTH is NOT da TOOTH, if yu touch it with your fingers". - Anomy”
Friends, Romans, and Fellow Cunt-ree-menes, the World, as weed know it, but didn't smoke it, is going to "HELL 'N a HANDBAG"!What difference does it make if it is a DESIGNER'S handbag?It was probably made in China by Communist Chinese workers, and sold on the street of 'Mur-Ree-KKK-Can-Operns, by...
Putin Tells Trump, Trump Tell Mike Johnson, Mikey Tells Republicans in Congress
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 8 Comments • 4 Likes • 4 months ago
“"Mamas Don't Let Your Children Grow Up To Be Putin's Bitches!" - Unknown”
When "Telephone Tag", and the World's Diplomacy lags, it's time to send the Children to a Home.Sing-A-Long wit me:"Momma and set the Children Free,or throw their cute, tiny, round arses in the Freezer, if'n dat is to be."Momma don't let your babies grow up to me Putin's Bitches.Nor play dat...
Trump Spiraling Out of Control, Again!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 10 Comments • 2 Likes • 4 months ago
“"Don't hire the STUPIST, most corrupt Ass-wipe to do your job. Hire the most pristine". -Anal-molus”
This morning I was awakened by much clattered, so I hollered out in my sleep.The next thing I knew I was hustle out of bed by the CIA, FBI, PUTIN CUTE COMMIES FOR KRIST, KIM JUNG UN'S UNATTRACTIVE DAUGHTER, AND A SQUAD OF CHINESS CHINKS.It was a loud, unholy mess, so I went back to sleep, and...
Mike Jonson, Speaker of the Louse, SCREAMED out his fellow girlfriends, "I am NOT GAY", even though no one ask.
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • Satire • 6 Comments • 2 Likes • 4 months ago
“"The Tooth Will Out You" - Symonds Freeohlies”
BREAKING NEWSDirect from "Broke My Back Mountain"In a shocking lack of decorum, Speaker of the Louse, Mickey Johnson, lashed out at his fellow girlfriends, screaming, "I am NOT GAY! I just look that way"!He, quickly followed up with this explanation, which no one believed:"My wife cure me in just...
Mickey Johnson GIVES it up!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 5 Comments • 3 Likes • 4 months ago
“"Conversion Therapy DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK!" - DE Santos”
BREAKING NEWSDirect from "Broke My Back Mountain"In a shocking lack of decorum, Speaker of the Louse, Mickey Johnson, lashed out at his fellow girlfriends, screaming, "I am NOT GAY! I just look that way"!He, quickly followed up with this explanation, which no one believed:"My wife cure me in...
Left Leaning Wing-Nut. It is time for another lecture from the "Less Than Esteemed", Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, "Doctored"!
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 40 Comments • 5 Likes • 4 months ago
“"If you don't think I am "Doctored". Just look in my Medicine Chest. I take one, two, maybe three hundred pills a day. If I ain't "DOCTORED", who...”
You know what's got my panties in an uproar? "Dirty Diaper Donnie" is such a scoundrel and a cheapskate that he is now advertising for WIPERS to work for nothing.My "Secret Inside/Outside Sauce" (Melanoma) explained to me that Donnie is so cheap he doesn't pay his "WIPERS".He makes them pay...
Republicans elect CRAZIES, I should know, I was once one.
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 9 Comments • 3 Likes • 4 months ago
MAGA LOONS, why do you support candidate like Marjorie Taylor Green say such thing as these, in public, not just in bars, brothels, or House of Repute.1. SCHOOL SHOOTINGS - Aren't real.2. PELOSI SHOULD BE EXECUTED3. JANUARY 6th WAS DONE BY BLM4. SANDY HOOK WAS FAKED5. JEWS WITH SPACE LASER START...
I NEVER KNEW MY MOTHER - She died at childbirth. Her own.
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 20 Comments • 2 Likes • 4 months ago
“"I am a FROZEN EMBRYO, I am, I am!" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo”
Fellow NEWS TALKERS.commies, we, and by that I mean, all of us, have experience pain in our lives.(NOTE: If you haven't, yet, I can send some your way, for only $50.00 for my INTRODUCTION fee. You will never be the sane, or same, again)My Pappy, "Snappy" passed when he was only nine years old,...
"Well, SUCK My Crayon. Donnie is getting his ARSE KICKED"
By: Eat The Press Do Not Read It • News & Politics • 11 Comments • 2 Likes • 5 months ago
“If you like SHAT, then you will lick this...er..."like" this! - Jonathan Livingston Lipschitz”
Fellow NEWSTAKERS.COMMIES, this is the "down in the dirt", Jonathan Livingston Lipschitz, coming to you, "LIVE" from INSIDE URANUS!You know, that scratchy, itchy feeling you get, that ain't HEMORRHOIDS, that is our, "POTTY-CAST," coming to you "LIVE" from INSIDE:U R A N U S!Friends, High School...