Vomiting with Lockjaw Section May you sell everything and retire to Florida just as global warming makes it uninhabitable. May you live to a hundred and twenty without Social Security or Medicare. May you make a fortune, and lose it all in one of Sheldon Adelson’s casinos. May you live to a ripe old age, and may the only people who come visit you be Mormon missionaries. May your son be elected President, and may you have no idea what you did with his goddamn...
By: @kavika, 2 weeks ago
Latest By: @kavika, one week ago
My dear NT friends. I'll be opening my new business on the 1st of September. The name will be, (drum roll please) Little Thunder's Cigar, Book Store, Fry Bread Shop and Beauty Parlor. (we do braids and face paint) I just received my Cigar Store White Guy (hey, turnabout is fair play) and I have a very prominent place for him outside in the snow and cold. I've named him White Owl, and he be a White Owl holding a box of White Owl's. I received my first supply of books. I expect...
By: @krishna, 2 months ago
Latest By: @krishna, 2 weeks ago
Above, researchers discuss plans for a new maze, since the prick of a mouse, right, destroyed their chances of making any new discoveries whatsoever about the nature of synaptical response. "IOWA CITY, IA—University of Iowa neuroscientists studying spatial learning and the effects of stress on memory announced Tuesday that a little son-of-a-bitch mouse ruined an experiment on cognitive performance by effortlessly navigating a maze that researchers spent nearly a year designing and...
By: @dowser, 2 weeks ago
Latest By: @community, 2 weeks ago
I attended Murray State University, back in the day... and YES, that was 40 years ago. So why would I expect anything to be the same as it was then? Illogical, but I expected the roads to be the same, or at least similar... NOT SO! Our goal was The Curris Center built back in the early 80s, after I graduated, and serves as the "new", (to me), Student Union Building. It is across the street from Blackburn Hall, the science building where I sweat blood memorizing hundreds of fossil...
By: @kavika, 3 weeks ago
Latest By: @jwc2blue, 2 weeks ago
Trump Says Mueller Just Called Him and Said He’s the Most Innocent Person Ever By Andy Borowitz August 3, 2017 Photograph by Nicholas Kamm / AFP / Getty WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report )—The special counsel, Robert Mueller, just called Donald Trump to tell the President that he was “the most innocent person ever,” Trump told reporters on Thursday. “It was the middle of the...
By: @harryh, 3 weeks ago
Latest By: @johnrussell, 3 weeks ago
SOURCE Seven priests walked into a bar... and were asked to leave because landlord thought they were on a stag do. The seminarians were initially barred from the City Arms in Cardiff on Saturday despite insisting their clothes were not fancy dress. But they managed to get their celebratory pints on the house after the bar manager realised they were the real thing. Father Michael Doyle said the seven went to the pub in Quay Street to celebrate the ordination of Father...
By: @hal-a-lujah, 3 weeks ago
Latest By: @community, 3 weeks ago
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/07/29/catholic-league-to-cheese-shop-dont-joke-about-mother-teresas-nether-regions/?utm_medium=email&utm_source=BRSS&utm_campaign=Nonreligious&utm_content=361 The Catholic League’s Bill Donohue has been trying for days to stop what he claims is anti-Catholic bigotry at a place that sells cheese. And that’s not even the weird part. The Bedford Cheese Shop, with two locations in New York, has this description of “Brebirousse...
By: @randy, 3 months ago
Latest By: @gordy327, 4 weeks ago
The founder of the Official Flat Earth and Globe Discussion page confronted a NASA scientist in a Starbucks in a bizarre viral video. Prominent flat-earther, Nathan Thompson, bumped into a NASA scientist in a coffee shop. They appear to have had a polite discussion about Mr Thompson's views on spaceflight, and the scientist even gave him some NASA stickers, before Nathan decided to attempt to talk to the scientist on camera whilst he purchased a coffee. The flat-earther, whose...
By: @larry-hampton, 4 weeks ago
Latest By: @community, 4 weeks ago
Ryder, North Dakota a ranching community that takes pride in its bull riding, and where John Deere's rule the road, until now. This small town southwest of Minot is ditching the tractors for Harleys. “I thought it would be fun,” said resident Charlotte Smette. It started with a call to the mayor back in the spring. “I thought he was a scammer, I didn't really give him much time, and he kept calling me and calling me,” recalled Mayor Jody Reinisch. Mayor Reinisch finally...
President Elect Donald Trump’s inauguration is not until Friday, Modern Philosophers, but he is already sending thank you gifts to those who helped him win the election. And the billionaire, who really knows how to spend, is not skimping on the presents. Today, Trump surprised one of his most ardent supporters, Russian President Vladimir Putin, with the gift of Alaska. “Putin gets a bad rap because the Democrats wanted us to see him as the enemy,” Trump explained as he signed...
Sergei Kisliyak has been the Russian Ambassador to the USA. He is retiring. His Deputy Director will take over until a KGB senior official can be sent in to replace him. What is next for Mr. Kisliyak? Word has it he will move to Pennsylvania. His next career will to be the main sales man to Russia of a new confection. It will be called Hershey's Kisleyak's. It is a Kremlin shaped milk chocolate bit wrapped in a silver foil and heart shaped. Inside is a creamy red...
By: @kavika, 2 months ago
Latest By: @kavika, one month ago
We were living in Australia at the time and my wife was an opera fan. Me, not so much, well actually not at all...Really I hated it. I had been on a business trip to S.E. Asia and had just returned home. We were living in an area of Sydney named Elizabeth Bay, or as we knew it, E Z Bay. I was a bit tired and was looking forward to sitting on the patio and watching the boats sail by with a drink in hand. We lived on the 4th floor of an apartment building and our unit was the whole 4th...
By: @kavika, one month ago
Latest By: @raven-wing, one month ago
In the deep forests of pine, birch, maple and willow in the great Minnesota wilderness. There is a story, believed by some, feared by all. In a land of many predators, the black bear, wolves, cougar, wolverine, badger, bald eagle, hawks and the great horned owl, there is a creature that all fear. It's torpedo type sausage shaped body, ripples with muscle. It tail is straight and long. Powerful hind legs, offset by stubby front legs that flank a massive chest. It's long soft ears pick...
It is 95 degrees (5am Western Time) having cooled off from West of 117 today. Tomorrow really (later today) is only supposed to be 108 (and that's,not too bad considering we've been averaging 114)/ The plain and simple truth is that anyone who thinks global weather change is not real has not looked at the desert Southwest Our high Temps have been records all year long (122 twice). We just had the hottest June on record and are on pace for the hottest and muggiest July ever. When my wife and...
By: @kavika, 4 months ago
Latest By: @jwc2blue, 4 months ago
CIA plotting to assassinate Kim Jong-Un by offering him full Trumpcare health cover The CIA are plotting to kill the North Korean leader in the most dastardly and horrific way possible by offering him full Trumpcare medical treatment, it has emerged. An anonymous source within the CIA told us, “We are forever trying to come up with inventive ways to assassinate enemies of the United States that don’t involve the exorbitant costs and high risk of sending in a team of Navy...
By: @kavika, 4 months ago
Latest By: @kavika, 4 months ago
WASHINGTON ( The Borowitz Report )—Moments after House Republicans voted to repeal the Affordable Care Act on Thursday, millions of Trump supporters celebrated the imminent loss of their health insurance. From coast to coast, Americans who cast their votes for Donald J. Trump expressed jubilation at finally being relieved of the burden of being insured in the event of catastrophic illness. “Ever since President Trump was inaugurated, I’ve been counting the days for him to take...
By: @kavika, 4 months ago
Latest By: @1ofmany, 4 months ago
Angry Mom Accidentally Texts 35-Year-Old Guy Instead Of Her Daughter, And Things Escalate Quickly 6.1Mviews 1 day ago by Iveta BoredPanda staff A 35-year-old man from Wisconsin was enjoying his day off from work recently when a text suddenly appeared in his inbox. “Hunny please grab milk and lunch meet on your way home,” read the message. Given that the man, who...