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Dems Change Mind On Border Wall After Realizing It Will Keep People From Leaving When We Switch To Socialism
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12 Comments
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5 years ago
U.S.—The nation's Democratic leaders announced Tuesday they are reversing course on Trump's proposed border wall, since "it will keep people in once we switch to socialism." "We thought the border...
The Social Justice Warrior’s Guide To Independence Day
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143 Comments
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5 years ago
If you’re planning on celebrating the 4th of July, stop. Just stop. Now. While you may erroneously believe that Independence Day is a time when you should stop and reflect on the birth of the...
Resurrected Che Guevara Announces 2020 Run, Democrats Quickly Criticize As 'Too Moderate'
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6 Comments
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5 years ago
SANTA CLARA, CUBA—Is Marxist revolutionary Che Guevara too moderate for a 2020 run as a Democrat? That's the question the left is asking after Guevara was resurrected by a leftist political...
Man Identifying As 6-Year-Old Crushes Game-Winning Homer In Tee-Ball Championship
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23 Comments
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5 years ago
AUBURN, CA—Local 36-year-old man Nate Ripley, who identifies as a six-year-old, “absolutely crushed” a game-winning homer at a local tee-ball game and won the championship for his team Monday...
Left Vows To Topple Patriarchy By Allowing Biological Males To Dominate Women's Sports
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15 Comments
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5 years ago
U.S.—Declaring that "the future is female" and that they would "no longer bow to toxic male faux-dominance," Americans on the left of the political spectrum solemnly vowed Saturday to topple...
Democrats Vow To Somehow Surpass Republicans In Messing Everything Up
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8 Comments
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5 years ago
WASHINGTON, D.C.—As Democrats took control of the House of Representatives, they promised the nation they would surpass even the Republicans at doing everything in their power to screw up the...
Trump Asks Why Kavanaugh Accuser Didn’t Just Immediately Request Hush Money
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10 Comments
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6 years ago
WASHINGTON—Questioning the actions taken by Christine Blasey Ford in the 1980s following the alleged sexual abuse by Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh while they were in high school,...
Clinton nominates Barack Obama to join his wife on Supreme Court - ensuring a liberal majority for generations
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2 Comments
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6 years ago
WASHINGTON D.C. - On Tuesday, President Hillary Rodham Clinton announced she's appointing former president Barack Obama to serve on the Supreme Court, filling the seat to be vacated by...
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